1986 Stories - Awaiting Approval:Stories 1; Comments 1.
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Karl cut 3 by Andrew Cluer

Type your story here... Andrew got a big surprise when he walked into the barber shop for his third appointment with Ramone. He had decided to wear his black leather kilt, just to see Ramone`s reaction .Karl and Ramone were pleased to see him, and laughingly gave his sturdy knees the wolf whistle. Karl had coincidentally turned to the leather sartorial look, and looked extremely fetching in an identical black and white shirt, tight leather trousers and very sharp winkle picker shoes. "Well", said Andrew, "if you have got it, flaunt it. I must say that you both look very stylish, trend-setting, and professional". Andrew was further - amazed as he looked around him. The formerly rather ordinary old-fashioned barber shop had been transformed into a most congenial salon. "My business loan came through from the bank", explained Ramone, and now I am looking out for some zany ideas, Andrew, so perhaps I can pick your brains ?"
Andrew couldn`t wait to forward suggestions :- May I suggest that you have a the focal point of the the reception, a large head and shoulders photograph of Yul Brynner. A wide Perspex frame, full of multi colour hair would look good. so much fine-looking hair just get thrown away, but this is a good way to re-cycle it. Have your trade names made out of strong wire that can be covered with platted hair. May I suggest the titles of Ramone di Roma, and Karl of Koln ?" they were spontaneously - delighted with this idea. " Andrew, I see that you are an Ideas Merchant too", exclaimed Ramone. "Let us see what you come up with when I switch on the balding clippers.I take it that you still want all your hair removed again sir ? "You bet", exclaimed Andrew." I really do feel now in the mood..." following this remark, Karl also felt like running the clippers over his own head, so a good time was had by all. Andrew continued with his suggestions, saying that he had an old Dansette record player that he could loan, with a thirty three and a third record of Yul Brynner singing Russian folksongs, accompanied by a gypsy guitarist. "This place could really achieve the wow factor"," said Ramone, who continued grinding the clippers into Andrew1s neck. "Keep coming up with good ideas like that, and I`ll keep up the clipper enjoyment for you all evening". Andrew did not want to loose out on such an enjoyable opportunity , so he enthusiastically continued with the
suggestions:-"This music would sound good as a background sound , and very stirring for customers to hear whilst the lethal balding clippers were in action", explained Andrew. Ramone then told Andrew and Karl that he was himself Part -Russian, and had great admiration for all the work that Yul had done for the cancer cause; a disease, which sadly his mother had succumbed to." We will make a big effort to raise money, as did Yul, for the cancer
cause, and I am sure that people will support us." Andrew added , "Well, you could have a Yul Brynner Day when The Town Crier holds an auction to raise money. I am certain that a dozen or so willing and sympathetic young men with very long hair can be auctioned off for the highest price for a date with a pretty girl, once they have been well and truly shorn in front of a big audience. Their long tresses could be sold to a wig maker, and they could be offered the chance of a cut-price Karl cut for three months, assuming that they, like us three, want to remain bald and beautiful".
Karl and Ramone unanimously agreed. "Andrew, you have certainly earned a few more minutes with the clippers. Karl, I am going to buy another black leather and chrome barbers chair, because I think that we are going to be very busy indeed." There could follow a Tom of Finland- inspired fashion show, with trend-setting clothes. short codpiece leather shorts with thigh boots might make a few jaws drop.. " "Plenty of Lycra too", exclaimed Karl". You are a genius Andrew, they will come flocking. Just say when you want a head massage, but please continue." ""The Victorians made hair rings popular", continued Andrew, but some men might like to keep a souvenir of their hair days, either as platted wrist bands, pendants or rings for their partners". Ramone then said that his sister Rubina was a craft designer, and she could easily achieve this. The clippers continued to whirr, as Andrew continued to be inspired. He had a hobby of picture framing, and coincidentally had designed various metric sizes of instant frames, that could, very easily be slotted together on the spot, so customers could have their hair properly -arranged in the frame, which could then get taken away in a corrugated cardboard presentation box. He could offer the colours, black, silver, brown and gold. Karl said that he was a keen photographer, as he proceeded to massage Andrew`s head, and he could easily film before, during and after videos for fans of The Karl Cut on You Tube. "We will upstage the Marine head shaving and all those Boot Campers", exclaimed Ramone. Andrew was certain that the National Press and television would take interest in this type of Cancer Campaign . They all agreed that there was plenty to look forward to. Soon, The Karl Cut would be universally-recognised, along with The Buzz cut, Bald High & Tight, Recon, Tricon, Landing strip and The All-American Crew cut; only their parents could ever say that they had been privileged to have had a Yul Brynner Haircut....

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