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Phil's Barber Shop Part 3 by Gator
Phil’s Barber Shop Part 3
I went back to the fraternity house after my last cut from Phil. My roommate, Peter, saw me and said, "Wow, that is one short cut! What happened?"
I smiled and replied, "I wanted something shorter since it’s summer and getting hotter. Besides, I am working outside which made my longer hair even worse." I could tell Peter was looking closely at my cut, but he didn’t say anything else. The only other comment was from my boss when I went to pick up the van for work. "Get stuck by the lawn mower?" I laughed and told him, "It’s gotten hot outside. You’ve been working my butt off with all this work. I decided to go shorter. Besides, you can go with me in two weeks and get a matching cut, you know." His eyes twinkled and then said, "I don’t think so. Thanks for the offer though." He gave me a list of some new items which needed to worked on. I grabbed the van keys and started out the door. I had a thought. I turned to him and said, "Matching cuts would be great. You ARE looking quite shaggy for a hospital administrator!" I turned and scooted out the door. I knew when I saw him in the afternoon that he’d have a comment to make.
My boss was an alumnus of my fraternity. He was a hospital administrator and along with his older brother, they owned some houses which were rented out to college students. I affectionately referred to him as my "slum lord boss". He was a good guy and I enjoyed working with him.
At the end of the day, I was finished. I was dirty, hungry, and exhausted. I took the van by Jake’s house. Jake was my boss. He was already home. I knocked on the back door and went inside. He was in the kitchen. He had gotten a trim that day. "See. I took you up on your offer and got a haircut, Mike." I smiled and looked at him. "Which hair, Jake? This one in the front?" I laughed heartedly. He got a smirk on his face. "You’re a comedian. You missed your calling." He punched me in the shoulder. I handed him the keys. "Speaking of calling, let me tell you what happened at the house on Pennsylvania Street today. Jake glared at me. "What did you do?" I laughed. "Well you know I’ve been trying to finish painting the outside of the house. I’m almost done. I was working on the front porch." "And?" "I’m getting there. Hold your horses, Jake. Well, you know those evergreen bushes around the porch so I could get in there to paint to lattice work. When I finished, I stepped out into the front yard. You know that old busy-body old lady across the street?" "You mean old Mrs. Smith?" "Yeah, that’s her. Well, she was on her front porch. I saw her standing there. I turned my back, unzipped my jeans, bent over, and dropped my jeans." "You WHAT?" "I pulled off my jeans. Almost gave the old woman a heart attack. She didn’t know I had on a pair of shorts." I was laughing so hard by now imagining the look on old Mrs. Smith’s face. I next felt a slap up the back side of my head. "You lost your mind boy?" I looked at Jake and he started laughing also. "I am sure that’s the voice mail on the machine then." "Here are your keys, Boss. I will see you tomorrow."
I turned to the back door. "Oh, by the way, you STILL need a decent haircut. I will take you with me to the shop. I hate working for a shaggy hippy, Jake!" "Ha! Won’t happen, Mike. Nancy will be pissed if I go any shorter." "You two aren’t even married and you’re being henpecked by her!" He opened the back door for me. "Get out of here before you get hurt." I left and was chuckling all the way back to the fraternity house. I was wondering if I could convince him to go to Phil’s with me.
The next couple of weeks were uneventful. I had promised Jake that I wouldn’t shock any more neighbors by dropping my drawers in public. I was back at Jake’s house to drop off the van and the keys. "I’m going to the barber shop tomorrow. Wanna go, Jake?" He was occupied by something on his desk. "No," was the very curt reply. "Just thought I’d ask." I dropped the keys on the desk. He looked up at me and asked, "Ask me what?" Well, s**t, he wasn’t listening. "I’m going for a haircut tomorrow. Be home early and I will take you with me. You need a haircut." I picked up his hair off his collar. "You can’t even see your collar, man." He swatted my hand. "You think I’m going to go with you and come out looking like I’m in the army?" "Well, yeah. I was thinking that. Right now you look like you’re a left-over hippy." "Aren’t you going to be late for something, Mike?" I looked at my watch and shrugged my shoulders. "I guess. I need a shower and dinner. I get the hint. I’m going, Jake. I will see you tomorrow."
In the morning, I got the van keys and made my last pitch to Jake. "The shop closes at 6:00 PM. I will pick you up at 5 here at the house." Jake looked at me. I grabbed the keys and shot out the door. I was not going to wait for a comment from him. I worked all day on painting the house on Pennsylvania Street. I was slowly finishing. I looked at my watch. It was almost 5. Time to get to Jake’s house to drop off the van and grab my car.
When I pulled in the driveway, Jake’s car was there. I was surprised as this was early for him to be home. I had to think quickly. I walked into the house. "Hey, Boss. You’re home early. What’s up?" He looked at me. "Well, I need to get a few things for you based on this list of supplies you said you needed." "Okay. That’s cool. Let’s go then." I still had the van keys. "Give me the keys, Mike." I looked at him. "You don’t trust my driving?" "I do, but it is my van." "You can drive on the way home. Get in the passenger seat." Surprisingly, he did. The cool part was that we had to go by Phil’s shop to get to the hardware store. I’d surprise Jake and pull in. We were driving through the streets of Lansing. I pulled up in front of Phil’s shop. "Why are you stopping here?" I looked at Jake and said, "We both need a haircut. This is where I go." I got out of the van and looked in the windshield. Jake was getting out. We went to the front door which I held open for Jake. He went in first. I was in luck. No one was in the shop and Phil’s chair was empty. I pushed Jake towards the chair. "He’s first, Phil." Jake looked at me.
"Well, buddy, come get in the chair then." Phil picked up his cape, brushed off the chair, and waited for Jake to get in. I thought Jake would object or at least say something to me, but he didn’t. He got in Phil’s chair who quickly put the cape around Jake. The neck tissue went on and then, "What are we going to do today?" Jake stated, "A very slight trim. Nothing to short. Leave it over the ears and touching the collar in the back." "You’ve got it Bud." Phil started up his clippers and lifted the hair over Jake’s right ear. He cut it to mid-ear length. I couldn’t stand it. I got up, walked over to the chair and looked at Phil. "Is this all you’re taking off?" Jake looked at me and sharply said, "Go sit your ass in the chair over there." I gave him my "I’m so hurt" look." I quickly replied, "I thought you had agreed to a cut that would uncover your ears and get it off your collar. Why’d you change your mind?" I gave Jake a wink. At this point in time, Phil saw my wink. "Is that what you told Mike?" Jake looked up. "I did not. He was having some nightmare. I don’t want it cut that short." I looked at Phil and said, "Yes, he does. Go ahead and give him a shorter trim." "Mike, I don’t want to hurt you after this," replied Jake. I chuckled. "You’re older than I am, Jake! I’d hate to see you get hurt!" I turned and went to sit down. Jake was glaring at me.
Phil fired up his clippers again. The next thing I knew was that Phil was taking off more hair on Jake’s right side. I wondered what he was up to. Jake didn’t notice at first. Phil was slowly swiveling the chair Aoriginally requested. Jake’s hair was no longer resting on or even covering any part of his collar. As Phil got to Jake’s left side, he put the clippers at the base and then quickly zipped the clippers around Jake’s ear exposing the entire ear. "Oh my gosh! My clippers slipped!" Jake picked up his head with a shocked look on his face. "What happened??" Phil quietly replied, "I guess your trim will be a little shorter than you wanted. I cut it over your ear and off your collar." Jake turned to face the mirror. "What the h…." "Temper, temper, Jake!" I said from across the shop. "Remember what you always tell me!" I was laughing. I got up and crossed the shop to stand in front of the barber’s chair. I looked at Jake’s left side. "You know, it doesn’t look half bad, Jake. It’s a good look for you." Jake blew out a huge puff of air and sat back in the chair. "You planned this, didn’t you?" as he looked at me. I shook my head and said, "No. No, I didn’t. But if I had, you’d be looking kinda like this though!" I smiled at him. "Wait until you get in the chair, Mike," promised Jake. I was laughing out loud now.
Phil returned to Jake’s right side to cut that like he had done with his left. I leaned against the window sill (which was about waist high) and crossed my arms. "I want to see the rest of this great cut on you Jake," I said. All I got was an "eat s**t and die" look from Jake. Phil continue to give Jake a nice taper cut. Not too short, but making sure the hair was off his collar and ears. Phil gently used his clippers over comb to take off Jake’s hair. It was shaping up to a nice business man’s regular taper. A very classic looking cut. Phil took over about an inch from Jake’s top and he used thinning shears to help the top lay down a little better.
Soon, Phil placed warm lather around Jake’s ear and the back of his neck. He cleaned up the end of the cut. The cape was removed. Jake got out of the chair and stood up. He looked at me square in the face and said, "Your turn boy." I quietly got up and moved to Phil’s chair. Jake went to pay for his cut. I spoke up. "I’m paying for our cuts, Phil." Jake looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.
Phil put the cape on me. "This is barber’s choice today," said Phil. He looked at Jake and said, "I’ve got this sport. Have a seat." Jake glared at both of us, but sat down. Phil fired up his Osters. I wasn’t sure what blade length he put on. I felt the clippers at the back-right corner of my head. Phil quickly pushed the clippers up towards my crown. I knew this was going to be a short cut. Phil made a second and third pass up the back. "That feels short, Phil," I said. "It is," he said. "You’re getting a Princeton, Mike." "A what?" "A nice Princeton. It’s short on the sides and lays over on the top. Unless I decide to cut it shorter. It depends on how smart you are." I looked over at Jake who was now chuckling to himself. "What do you mean, Phil?" I asked. "If you’re smart, you’ll be quiet and let me do this cut. If you say anything else about how short the cut is, you’re going way shorter than you ever thought possible." "Like a military induction cut?" laughed Jake. Phil stopped cutting. "And you mister, can end up in my chair again for a shorter cut. I was nice this time to you." Jake stopped laughing and shut his mouth. Phil continued to cut the back of my hair and move towards my left side. He had not changed the blade at all and took the clipper up past my temple. He turned the chair so he could cut my right side. Phil changed the blade and returned to my right side. I could feel that Phil was now tapering the sides and back of my apparently very short Princeton. Phil finished with his Osters. He then used his comb with the clippers to blend the sides with the top. The next thing I felt was Phil lifting my top hair as he took the clippers and lopped off another inch of hair. What had been bangs on my forehead were no longer there. After the top was cut, my top just laid flat on my head. This was going to be one short haircut.
Phil shaved around my ears and my nape. At the end, he placed the Clubman lotion around my ears and my side. He removed the cape. I stood up. Jake got up, walked over, and gave me a Dutch rub on my top. "Serves you right for making me get a short cut." I looked at him. "Yeah, but you look so much better now, Jake. It looks like the gray hair is gone!" I laughed out loud. Jake reached over and slapped the back of my head. "Hey!" was all that I got out as Phil did the same thing right after Jake.
"You owe me $10, Mike." Phil put out his hand towards me. "Pay the man, Mike," said Jake. I pulled out my wallet, gave Phil a $20 bill and told him to keep the change. Jake and I turned to walk out. Phil called out to us. "See you BOTH in two week." Jake laughed as he rubbed my very short Princeton. He then punched me in the arm. I opened the shop’s door and pushed Jake out the door. "See you in two weeks, Phil. And thanks!"
"You owe me, Mike. Big time, sport! Big time!!"