07: Brad’s Tale / Kyle’s Surprise by burrlypup
I made breakfast, a huge spread of bacon, eggs and waffles as my buds began to show up. Jacob slipped home to get some clean clothes, which honestly made me feel much more comfortable with my friends being less openminded about nudity. In the morning light, Jacob looked very handsome with his fresh baldie as his skin tone was even and had the perfect shape head for it. In comparison, when Brad arrived with his head still shaved slick and gleamed, it was quite severe.
"Hey, when you gonna tan that dome Brad!?" I laughed, giving his head a rub as I handed him some OJ.
"I hadn’t planned on keeping it shaved, but after meeting some new friends at the gym last night, I think it’s my new thing for a while at least. I’ll go for a hike this week to help get rid of the two-tone head."
"So, I gotta ask, why the change?"
"Well, honestly, I donated it all. It’s a bit complicated and it wasn’t entirely my idea." Brad explained.
"Not your idea?" I asked him to clarify.
"It’s still a fresh wound to my ego, man. I met this girl and she was smokin’ hot. I would have agreed to anything, so when she started talking about her friend donating his hair to Wigs For Kids and making him sound really awesome, I volunteered to donate a foot of my hair – not a big deal, right? My hair was past my ass, so a foot, I was willing to sacrifice to make myself look good for this chick."
"So, how did you end up bald?" I asked.
"Well, the next morning she gushed over the twelve inches I cut off, and she pressed her body against mine and turned me into butter. Then she made a comment about how lucky a little girl would be if I decided to donate ALL of my hair, showing me a picture of a porcelain skinned girl without any hair that was being treated at the hospital she worked for. ‘Like, at the nape?’ I asked her, but she commented that it would be awesome to buzz my head to donate a four foot long ponytail, which I was skeptical at first, but then she changed the subject, and all day I could think only about was how to please this girl. She completely seduced me into giving up my hair. She pulled me into a tanning room and buzzed all my hair off right then and there."
"Man, that sounds intense. Then she razored your head?"
"I did that on my own thinking she would like it, but it’s been a week and I haven’t heard from her."
"That sucks." I commiserated.
"Strangest thing is, she lied to me. I found my hair in a trashcan the next day."
"Yeah, I don’t know what her deal is, but she’s sick and I’m lucky to find out early."
"Well, not early enough for your hair." I said.
"HAHA!" Brad sarcastically responded.
"So, what’s this chicks name?"
"It’s – " Brad got cut off by my three other buds entering the front door cheering and shouting, ready for the game to start.
"Just tell them I lost a bet?" Brad told me quickly as we welcomed the rest of the gang.
"Sure." I told him as the arriving guests took turns rubbing Brads bald head and teasing him. Apparently, for Brad the narrative of losing a bet was less painful than being tricked by a woman. When Jacob returned, fully clothed, it turned into a head rubbing party and two of my buds, Cory and Brock, decided they wanted smooth domes as well.
Jacob took out his clippers and quickly reduced Cory’s dark brown undercut to stubble, taking time to clip the top down to an inch, then cutting a rough flattop before pushing the clippers bare bladed across the top. Cory’s golden blond highlighted forelock that once fell to his lips now lay lifeless on the floor and he was enthusiastic as I lathered his head with shaving foam. Brad took the razor from me, citing my obvious lack of head shaving experience. In five minutes, Brad shaved Cory’s head smooth as a baby’s butt.
Brock chickened out as Jacob turned the clippers on him, so his mop of blond curls remained intact – until Brad snuck up from behind and ran the clippers from his forehead straight back. Brock shouted obscenities as the rest of his gorgeous blond curls were stripped from his head. He declined the wet shave, so once again, a few hours later when Brock was in a lull from all the beers, Kyle used my electric shaver to shave the top of his head smooth like a case of male-pattern baldness.
"Not again!" Brock shouted as he realized what was happening. Brad patted him on the back and led him to the bathroom to shave his whole head. Twelve hours after the party started, my buds – now mostly bald – were happily passed out on my couch. In fact, only myself and my friend Kyle were the only ones in the room left with hair. I looked at Kyle, his dark blond manbun impressively dangling off the side of the couch with tendrils reaching the carpet below. I turned off the lights and looked forward to my date with Charity just six days in the future. Sleep came easy.
"YOU BASTARDS!!!!" I heard through my walls, my eyes taking in that it was already morning. I ran downstairs and found my friends wrestling on the floor, covered with hair. Dark blond hair. Kyle’s hair!
"What the hell is going on?!" I shouted. My friends separated and the whole story told itself. Still angry with everyone – especially Kyle! – for shaving his head, Brock woke up and decided Kyle needed a haircut, so he clipped Kyle’s manbun off and razored the top smooth as he slept. I had never seen Kyle so angry, I told everyone else to leave while I tended to him.
"I can’t believe they did this!" Kyle began to tear up, feeling the top of his head that had been shaved, then the long hair that hung around the back and sides. It was a terrible joke gone wrong.
"Hey man, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay." I told him, realizing the rest of his hair needed to be shaved off. "Let’s go finish shaving the rest off and you can stay here, or I’ll drive you home."
"Okay." Kyle said, taking in a deep breath as I buzzed the rest of his hair off. He almost lost it again when I lathered up his head and began shaving it clean.
"What am I going to tell my Instant gram followers? My manbun videos had millions of views. And now I’m f**king bald!" Kyle went on. I took his phone and snapped a picture of him with his head covered in shaving cream, except for a stripe of smooth skin where I shaved. Then posted it. #changes
I finished shaving his head and sent him on his way, feeling bad because he probably had the best hair out of all of us. The pity was shortlived, as he posted six or seven pics of his new bald look before the day was over.