Join the Bare Scalp Family! by Josephthepencilcase
Scott woke up with no knowledge of what had just happened, he tossed and turned under the covers before eventually opening his eyes to a ceiling of the bedroom. He slowly looked around to see the furniture placed carefully in the room, the calming beige and brown colours mixed harmoniously with each other and was reminiscent of an autumn forest, even the covers draped over Scott’s body blended in with the colour scheme. The only things in the room were the bed, a cupboard and a mirror that all seemed to blend in with the walls. But Scott could only think about one thing, this wasn’t his house. He bolted up immediately whilst his mind frantically recounted the events. He remembered driving over the bridge and his car swirling wildly, but other than that, no memory of the crash remained. As he began to process these memories and tried to think of a reason why he was in a stranger’s house, he noticed a slight breeze on his back and arms. With that he looked under the covers cautiously as if there were a creature lurking there, to see his body wearing nothing but the pair of black boxer-briefs he’d put on that morning. So, there he was, in a stranger’s house and nearly naked in a stranger’s bed. This certainly was a lot to process.
After looking out the window at the landscape where he spotted the bridge that he crashed on and could even see the wreck of his car laying on the bank, he threw the covers aside and began to look around the room in the search for some clothes. But as he did he heard footsteps, not being sure whether to run or to confront this person, he just froze. At first Scott hoped the man was walking to another part of the house, but of course, he walked straight into Scott’s room. He was a man who must’ve been around forty years old with plain clothes of a same colour scheme as the room and a completely bald head, not a shadow of hair remained.
"Ah, you’re awake I see." He spoke in a strangely formal way for a man addressing a stranger in their underwear.
"What the hell’s happened?" Scott blurted out in response, he didn’t mean to be so confrontational, but no other words came to mind. Fortunately, the man didn’t seem to mind.
"I can see why you might be confused, my wife, Julie, spotted your car crashing a few hours ago so me and my boys went and hauled you out. You were lucky to get out of it with a bumped head, your car certainly wasn’t as fortunate."
"Where are my clothes?" Again, Scott could only ask these questions out of being purely stunned by this situation at hand, was this a dream?
"I thought you might ask that, they’re right on that chair, not that you’ll want them back." He said gesturing over to a pile of rags that resembled the clothes Scott was wearing earlier "We didn’t want to leave you lying there in them, and I wouldn’t let you get into my clean bed with them on anyway." He added pointing to the dark spots of mud. "But it would be rude of me to not introduce the boys who helped save you, they’ve been dying to see if you’re alright." He continued before waving into the corridor, this was followed by three boys entering the room. One looked about ten years old, the other in his early teen years and the third who must’ve been almost an adult (he even stood taller than the father). But Scott was quickly intrigued by two defining features, their clothes were all of the same colour scheme of beige, and they all had completely bald heads just like their father to the point where not even a shadow of a hairline remained.
"This is David, Rick, and Harry, and I’m Justin." The father finally introduced himself, but Scott could only focus on the bald heads that shone under the light, and of course their general lack of concern for Scott’s lack of clothes. It wasn’t until Scott had cautiously shook hands with all three boys before he finally said the thing Scott was waiting for.
"Ah yes, those clothes you were looking for, I have some spares right here." Justin glided over to the cupboard where he reached inside and yanked out a plain beige t-shirts and harmoniously brown shorts, he then threw them onto the bed. "Get changed into those, and then come down for some lunch, you’ll probably need something to eat." Scott quickly grabbed the clothes, put them on and headed over to the full-body mirror, he was glad to cover up his lanky noodle-like body. As he stared at himself he was shocked at how much he looked like one of the family (apart from his hair however), that brought him on to his hair. It resembled a bale of blonde hay, the sides protruded out and the top fell flat and limp, his hair was a complete mess and no matter how much he tried to adjust it, it always looked wrong in one way or another. But eventually he gave up and headed downstairs.
Scott was met by a living wrong with an identical style to the bedroom, quite minimal furniture that all harmoniously blended with the walls and soft carpet. And sure enough, the entire family was setting the table, the four men that he’d met earlier and a beautiful woman with a short pixie cut that Scott presumed was Julie, Justin’s wife. Upon noticing him, they called him over as Julie carried over a colossal tray of sandwiches.
The entire family and Scott (who resembled one of the family) dived into the sandwiches minutes later, but it didn’t take long for conversation about Scott to begin.
"So, Scott, are you local to this area?" Julie asked in her soothing voice.
"Not too far, I’m from Mixhope actually." Scott replied, almost forgetting to due to the soothing effect of Julie’s voice.
Conversation halted for a few seconds, Scott saw this as his chance to finally ask about the thing that had fascinated him for all this time, he was pondering whether it was rude to ask but it fell out of his mouth anyway. "So, I noticed the bald heads you guys all have, what’s that about." Scott nervously awaited a reply, but the entire family seemed to let out a small chuckle before the eldest boy replied.
"Dad taught us about not getting attached to our hair." And as if it were on a script, Rick (the middle child) continued on from his brother.
"We all have perfectly shaped heads for it, we’ve all grown to love the style, it’s awesome!" Rick wasn’t wrong on that.
"You have a very round head, maybe you should be bald." With this last comment from Harry who quickly piped up, his mother gave him a nudge on the shoulder and a hard stare. But Scott didn’t mind, in fact he was more intrigued than ever.
"Have you guys have always been bald?" As expected, Justin soon answered.
"No, I just tell them my thoughts on hair and see what they say, so far they’ve always wanted to shave it. I tell you, there are few more satisfying liberations than the liberation from hair. There were many more important things in life that we all have than hair, my advice is to pay as little attention to it as we can." Julie soon came in were her take
"I couldn’t agree more, if it wasn’t for social pressure I’d have a bare scalp just like my sons. You know Scott, Justin’s right about that whole liberating feeling, and the bald head’s more popular with the ladies than you might think." They began to sound like they were trying to convince Scott to shave his head, maybe they were. He had plenty of time for it, he didn’t have anything on that day and he was certain these people could shave his head, maybe it would be a liberating feeling without the crop of hair that frustrated him to no end.
"Do you think you’d ever give the bare scalp a go?" Justin asked half-jokingly, not expecting Scott’s response.
"You know what, I’ll give it a go." The room fell silent, Scott felt so ludicrous yet so excited by what was happening. The family were a bit taken a back but soon regathered themselves, David (who stilled believed this to be a joke) spoke again first.
"What next? Are you going to join in with our exercise regiment next?"
"What exercise regiment?" Scott asked, showing no signs of backing down with this.
"I, I keep this family on a strict cycle of exercise, which you look like you could do with yourself." With Justin’s reply, David and Harry curled their arms to reveal large biceps that Scott hadn’t noticed.
"This is beginning to sound like heaven." Scott was expecting the family to be creeped out by this, but Justin continued without a care in the world.
"Well, let’s not waste any more time!" He jumped from his chair and walked to the other side of the room, the other members of the family followed before Scott eventually caught wind of what was happening and followed suit. The family made its way over to a small door that blended so well with the wall Scott hadn’t even noticed it, it swung aside to reveal a grey yet well-lit cellar. The all filed down the narrow stair case into the cellar which has the same coloured interior, half of the room was lit and that half had nothing in it but a barber’s chair in the centre.
"Scott, be seated in the chair." Justin replied in a brilliantly commanding voice, Scott quickly obeyed. Justin spun round a large mirror whilst the rest of the family huddled around, Scott stared into his blonde mess of a haircut which had turned back to its original ridiculous state and began to think a bald head wasn’t such a crazy idea. Surprisingly, Justin didn’t say another word as he switched on his clippers and grabbed Justin’s head, the whir of the clippers almost gave Scott the fright of his life due to the otherwise silent cellar. Justin ploughed through the front of Scott’s pathetic excuse for a head of hair, soon the blonde locks that pained him so much fell away like fallen enemy soldiers. This led to a rushing thrill in Scott’s stomach which bubbled wildly, he forgot how much he wanted this. Soon Justin’s masterful hands had made their way through almost all of Scott’s hair, with each long stroke Scott felt so relaxed be the feeling of the clippers, and the loss of his hair was like the demise of a nemesis. But things weren’t finished, Justin got out his straight razor from the side table, the metal was so pristine it vanished on the metal table. He sharpened it with all the poise of a regal knight brandishing his sword from its sheath, soon he got down on one knee and cut away at the final remains of Scott’s hair. These strokes were more precise and slower, giving time for Justin to savour each one, he almost moaned with satisfaction of the individual strokes. Each one felt like a soft hand gliding over his scalp. It seemed to go on for hours, stroke after stroke until finally Justin put away the razor and called Scott’s attention to the mirror. He stared deep into it in appreciation, Harry wasn’t wrong, Scott had a perfectly round head for the bald head and because of his hair’s bright colour it looked like not a single follicle remained. Scott just thought this would be a good break from his old hairstyle, but when he felt the soft skin on his head he fell in love. But he didn’t have much time to think as Justin soon bent down and asked Scott the question he didn’t know he wanted to hear.
"You know young man, there’s always a place open in our family, you don’t have to join but we’d love you to stick around for a while." This was insane! Scott couldn’t just move house, he had a job and a flat and friends in his own town! But then he thought about it more, his office was only a stone’s throw away, his house was tiny with mould problems, and his friends were only a few towns away. He wanted to ponder this thought further, but his tongue had already made up its mind.
"You know Justin, as crazy as it sounds, I think I might just take you up on that offer. I’d love to join the family." As soon as he said those words he knew it was the right decision, here he could live out this new fantasy, he may have just been exploring it, but he still wanted to leap inside it. Justin leapt back up upon hearing this, immediately continuing as if everything was normal.
"We can work out how you’ll move in later, but for now, it’s exercise time." He said, flipping on a light switch that revealed six exercise machines on the other side of the cellar.