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My (Really!) True Haircut History - Pt 3 by BaldSurfer


This installment will only cover one incident - the next one in this true history. It's a long story that deserves its own chapter. So, where did we leave off? I'd given in to some family pressure and grew my shaved head out for a family wedding at the beginning of May...

While I'd sported the shaved head over those recent months, Ricky, a work buddy of mine, also with a full head of hair, always seemed fascinated by my shaved head. We'd work out together before work and so we'd shower and shave at the gym before heading to the office. I often caught him watching intently as I shaved my head at the sink. He started jokingly saying that he'd have to try it someday. Ricky's interest, although he downplayed it, made me realize he was "one of us" - guys into men's haircuts, the kind of guy who visits sites like this.

Ricky also used to tease a couple of guys we worked with, who had varying degrees of MPB, that they would look so much better if they just gave up the remains and shaved their heads. And then, half as a joke, he looked the 2 guys in the eye and said "If you do it, so will I." They thought he was joking, but I knew I could make it all happen. But it was right around then that I had to grow my hair out for the wedding, so I set the idea aside.

When I came back after the wedding, I was eager to shave my head again, but I really wanted to get all those other guys to shave their heads, so I decided to create an "event". I asked Ricky if he really would shave his head if it would get Frank and Don to shave theirs. He said, "Sure. Everybody should try it at least once." His hair was never more than an inch long, so he also knew that it wasn't that big a commitment. Frank and Don couldn't believe that Ricky would ever really do it, but finally agreed that if he did, they would too. Don also let it slip that his wife had been begging him to shave his head for a long time, but he never had the nerve, so maybe this was the push he needed.

So I started to spread the word that after work on Friday, we should get as many people as possible from the office to come out for happy hour. And then Ricky and I hatched the rest of the plan. Ricky's house wasn't far from the bar, so after we got Frank and Don drunk enough to actually do iy, we'd go back to Ricky's house and have a head shaving party. I didn't know if Ricky owned clippers, so I stashed mine in my car. Happy Hour was great and we all got pretty wasted. I told Ricky that I had the clippers with me and suggested we do the deed right in the bar. It was a kind of hole-in-the-wall bar where I thought we could get away with shaving heads at our corner table. I grabbed the clippers and was under the table looking for an outlet when the mnager (who knew us) asked what we were up to. When I told him at least 4 of us were shaving our heads he started laughing hysterically. "Why hide back here? The band isn't in until 10 tonight. Let's get you set up on the stage so everybody can watch." I couldn't believe it. This was better than I ever hoped. An audience!

We set up a single barstool on the stage and they gave us an extension cord to plug the clippers into.Ricky was insisting that Don or Frank had to go first. Ricky said "The deal was that if you did it, I'd do it. So you have to go first." But neither trusted Ricky enough and thought he'd back out. The argument got tiresome so I said I'd go first and show them how it's done. I sat on the stool, handed Ricky the clippers and let him do the deed. The whole bar was watching as Ricky carved the stripe down the center. Ricky clipper shaved me like a pro. Either he'd done it before or he'd rehearsed it in his mind. Either way, I was back to stubbly bald I'd have to finish with a razor at home. Since Ricky was already on stage, I convinced him to go next. Ricky was their boss's supervisor. They'd never have the nerve to screw with him. Ricky agreed and told me t go for it.

I don't think I'd ever seen Ricky with a smile tha big and happy as he had as I took the traditional swipe down the middle. Everybody from work cheered and clapped. Then I did it the "right way", starting at his left ear (he had no side burns) and carving upward as i worked my way around to the back and all the way to his right ear. Only then did I return to the top and finish the job. As Ricky stood up and brushed the hair from his tee shirt, everyone cheered. He walked down, put his hand on Don's shoulder and walked him onstage and grabbed the clippers. Don had a crzy receding hairline. The point of the widow's peak was still pretty close to the front, but the corners went back past the middle of his head. He was a pretty mild guy, and he was visibly nervous. Ricky made some joke we couldn't hear and again, clippers ran up the middle of a hairy head, leaving nothing but stubble behind. Ricky seemed even more comfortable with the process. You'd think he was one of those boot camp barbers who can shave a head in 20 seconds.

It was Frank's turn, and he tried to chicken out. When we wouldn't take no for an answer, he even tried to run out, but we blocked the door and firmly let him know he had to keep his word. It was laughable. Frank had the least to lose. The fringe ring around his head couldn't have been more than 1 /12 inches long and there were so few hairs left on top that you literally could count them. Ricky, Don and I all took turns shaving off the sad remnants of his hair, and the process was quick. In all honesty, it made him look 10 years younger - and some of the girls told him that he looked, younger and sexier. He started to even smile.

We were cleaning up the stage, thinking it was over when Tony from the engineering department walked on stage and said "What the hell! I'll do it too!" Ricky and I looked at each other in amazement. Tony wasn't part of our circle of friends. We didn't know him very well. And he was really, really drunk. Plus, this wasn't some MPB guy, nor did he have short hair like Ricky and I used to have. This guy had "styled" hair, the top at least 4-5 inches long, blow-dried and sprayed into a seeping kind of pompadour. The sides and back were probably 3 inches. We stepped aside and discussed whether we should do this to a drunk guy. But of course we went for it. And decided to have some fun along the way, so we started by giving him a wide mohawk. Then thinned it to an inch-wide strip then ran the clippers from one side to the other, turning the mohawk into a line of square patches of hair. Finally, we shaved him clean. He walked off stage, rubbing his stubbly head, looking pretty regretful as he headed to the men's room to see what he'd done. When he rejoined us, still rubbing the new stubble, he said he kind of liked it, but his girlfriend was going to kill him.

All in all, a really successful shaving party. Only Ricky and I finished the job with a razor when we went home. Ricky kept shaving every few days for rest of the summer. When the novelty wore off, he grew it out for a month or so and has maintained a #4 buzz ever since. Don and Frank both got great reactions from their wives and I don't think either has ever gone longer than a #1 since. But I never managed to get them to lather up and grab the razor. Tony woke up with a raging hangover and almost no memory of the evening. He said he screamed when he saw his head. His girlfriend cried. Within a few months, he needed his blow dryer and hair spray again.

As for me, my friends and family were no longer even surprised when I suddenly showed up bald again, and I was still in love with the look and feel of a freshly shaved head. With hair as thick and dense as mine, staying bald was a lot of work, but I felt like it was worth the effort. I liked being a "bald guy". I liked the kind of girls who found me attractive when I was bald - they were generally stronger, more daring, more interesting and more fun. So I shaved almost every single day through New Year's Eve. By then, I don't remember why, but I felt like I needed a change, so on Dec 31st, right before I headed out to a party, I shaved my head and took the time to get it as smooth as humanly possible because I'd decided that not only was I going to stop shaving. I was going to see how long i could go without even getting a haircut. I lasted until the middle of a brutally hot September, and then...

To be continued!



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