Letter Home #1 by Pharaoh
Dear Mum and Dad,
From somewhere in the Middle East – You know where!
Where it’s hot and sandy and dusty. Sand everywhere, in your clothes, in your food and in your hair.
But not anymore. I’ve taken all my hair off, you know, razor smooth. The army lets us shave our heads now and a lot of the guys are doing it over here.
No dad – it’s not peer pressure. I wanted to try being bald myself. And I’m sure glad I did. I know you say Mum I’ve got nice hair, but now it’s all gone. Only thing is it takes me a lot longer to shave my face, and now all over my head, every morning. Using the razor on the back is a bit difficult, but other shavehead guys tell me I’ll soon get used to it, and be able to get the stubble off in no time.
Just think, you used to agro me about getting a haircut. Well that eventually worked, and then some. This is the haircut to end all haircuts – none! When I get a decent photo I’ll send it to you so you can get used to seeing me with no hair.
Don’t tell Charon. I want to send her my shavehead photo first. But you can tell her congratulations. We’re getting engaged when I get home. But don’t tell anyone else. What about me being a bald bridegroom? Darren will be my best man – when I ask him, and he hasn’t got any hair either – as you know – a matched set.
I Really like being Bald. There’s no way I’m ever going to let my hair ever grow again. I’ve enlisted in the Bald Army for life. No don’t panic. I don’t mean the real army. Still home in six months. It’ll be fantastic to see you both again. I hope you’ll recognize me without my crowning glory – which is now a polished dome.
Your loving son
Lt. Josh “Baldie”