Looking Like A Freak by Jack
The f***ing knot in my shoe was the last thing I needed. Second day out and late for the second time, I was off to an awesome start. If I thought Friday was hell, I knew today he was really going to rip into my ass and I`d be swimming laps until probably midnight. F***ed, f***ed, f***ed! My team suit. I could see it hanging from the towel bar at home and, I could see me not grabbing it this morning and, not putting it in my f***ing gym bag. F***ed again! My mind was reeling. I fumbled around and touched down on this other suit, not blue and grey, stuffed inside my swim cap, still just a little damp from a few weekend laps. So much for sneaking in unnoticed. My reflection in the mirror reminded me that at least I had made it to the barbershop and was totally confident that my fresh, much shorter haircut would win me big points. I chased through a cold shower afraid to waste even the few seconds it could take for the water to warm up. Bounding through the door I heard lots of laughing and saw that no one was in the pool yet. Obviously the big, bad man had not arrived. Lucky S**t!
Most of the guys were goofing around, shoving each other, rubbing each other`s heads and picking on the brown nose who had gone the absolute shortest. Didn`t seem to be much of a contest to me. I edged over to this guy Trevor who I sort of knew from Cross Country and rubbed my hand over the top of his head, `wow, sweet haircut, Dude.` The committee had decided his was the longest and it was maybe a quarter inch, tops. I shrugged my shoulders and eyed the rest of the crowd. `What`s up with you creeps? He just said to cut it short, not f***in` look like some asshole marine.`
Trevor ruffled my much longer mop, `it`s the way he likes it, you`ll see, Newbee.`
`Yeah, whatever.` I examined his head again, `Dude, that is gonna take one long time to grow back. What do you guess, three, four weeks now of lookin` like some loser asshole? Not into that s**t, okay?` I heard only my voice and it was way louder than normal, `no f***in` way! That freak jarhead look just ain`t my style. He can f***in` bite my. . .`
`What`s your name again, Son?` The deep voice came from behind as this enormous hand bore into my left shoulder. I spun around to see this very stern, no nonsense kind of face. His sidewalls were glistening. Hands down, he`d gone the absolute shortest with barely even a shadow left on top.
`Nelson, Keifer Nelson.`
`My office.` A direct gesture at the pool had the rest of them in the water and warming up before I really realized where I was headed.
He closed the door behind us. `Weren`t you given a suit last week?`
`Yeah, um, I forgot. . .`
`No excuses, yes or no?`
He walked over to me, `that`s yes, Sir, got it?`
`Um, yes, Sir.`
`You got some special need to look different from the rest of the group there, um, Kiefer?`
`Um, no, Sir, not really, Sir.`
`You serious about bein` part of this team there, Boy?`
`Um, yes, Sir.`
He unzipped his sweatshirt and yanked it off. `And, weren`t you told to loose the hair this weekend?` He pulled his tee shirt over his head.
`Yes, Sir, and I did get a haircut just like you said to.`
The gym shoes came off next and then the socks. `And this is your idea of a short haircut?`
I was firm and unapologetic, `yes, Sir, it is!`
He lowered his warm-up pants and was down to just his swim trunks. They were blue and grey, just like everything he wore and had the school insignia on the lower left leg. I figured the strip show was pretty much over now. I watched in silence as he stroked the tiny patch of hair on the top of his head then eased onto the edge of his desk now wearing just about as little as I was. `Take the suit off.`
`Off, Sir?` You want me to take my suit off?`
`Take it off. You swim in the buff today, Mr. Nelson. It`ll help you remember to bring what you need tomorrow, got it?` He moved around behind his desk. He was a whole lot bigger than me. With him standing there watching I slowly lowered my speedo then nervously wadded it up and squeezed it in my hand. `Now, when you go back to the barbershop, how are you going to tell this guy to cut your hair?`
`When I go back to the barbershop, Sir?`
`Yeah, Nelson, how are you goin` to tell the barber to cut your hair?`
I rolled my eyes, `um, short, Sir.`
He ran both hands around the shiny circumference of his head and grinned, `just short?`
`Well, um, pretty short then, Sir.`
He stared me down. `Okay, pretty short?` His arms were crossed and his hands were massaging his enormous biceps.
I looked away from him and kind of muttered down at the floor, `um real short, like, um, maybe,` my voice drifted off.
`Yeah, like maybe?`
I threw my chin up and raised my eyebrows, `I guess, I might just say to cut it all off, like right down to the scalp, okay?`
`Better. That`s what I was waitin` to hear.` I watched him reach down and open a drawer in the desk. He pulled out what looked like the biggest pair of hair clippers I had ever seen in my entire life. Handing me the chord he pointed to an outlet on the wall, `plug `em in, Son, then come over here and take a seat.` I felt his big hand rest on top of my head. `I figure, seein` as how you already paid for a haircut and all, and we seem to have this different idea about what a short haircut is, that I`d just take care of this right now for you.` I could feel my heart pounding like it was going to jump right out of my chest. `Sound good to you?`
`Yeah, um, um, I mean,` very long pause, `yes, Sir.`
`Good. Now, then, what were you going to tell the barber?`
`Um, Sir?` I craned my neck up to see his face.
`How were you going to tell the barber to cut your hair?`
`Um, real short, Sir.`
`Real short. I was gonna to say to maybe cut it all off.`
`Real short, right? Cut it all off?`
I just sat there saying nothing.
`Okay, so you were sayin` to cut it all off, right?`
`Yes, Sir, cut it all off.` He mercilessly yanked at my hair.
`Right. And down to?`
`Ouch. Um, down to the scalp, all right?`
`That`s it.` He let go of my hair and pulled the attachment off the end of the clippers and threw it across the desk, `guess we won`t be needin` this then, huh?` The clippers started humming. `I`ll get this as close as I can for you, Son.` He placed them front and center and took a good swipe. Flipping the clippers he dumped the first pile of hair right on my dick. `Nice.` Another swipe, `yeah, real nice.` A third swipe, `down to the scalp.` More swipes, they seemed faster and faster, `yeah, real close.` He ran his hand over the cleared path, `this is gonna be nice `n short for you, Keifer.` He shoved my head forward and started up the back. `You said you wanted it all cut off, down to the scalp, right?`
I said nothing.
`Cool. You are gonna sail through the water, Dude.` Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe. Up the sideburns and around the ears, `all gone, nice and short.`
My hands moved up to my head and touched down. Nothing, not even stubble.
`You said down to the scalp, right?`
He reached into the drawer again. `Here, plug these in.` I was totally trembling as I yanked out the first plug and tried to insert the next. `These`ll take it down a whole lot closer for you.`
`Even closer than mine, nice and tight and nothin`, nothin` on top.` Again with the swipes, then his big hand whacked me across the back of my head, `now that`s about as short as I can go without a razor. Do you want me to shave it?`
`No, Sir, I think this`ll be good enough.`
`Just want you to be happy there, Nelson. Let`s see a nice big smile then, ear to ear.`
I just sat there, staring, thinking I might start crying and tried in the hardest way I could not to.
`Now, then, get out to that pool and show those, um, asshole, freak jarheads what a real marine induction cut looks like on a smart ass kid like you. And, Nelson, just so you`re always keepin` up your f***in` special style, you know, standin` out in the crowd, I`ll see you here, in the chair, before every practice for the rest of the season and keep this trimmed up for you, you know, real short, down to the scalp, just like you like it. Should be four, maybe six months before you feel even a little stubble up there, huh?`