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Past Perfect by Seamus


Being forty, My hair was still in great shape. No grey, thick, managable, and simply straight brown crowning glory. That`s why this flattop DA mistake looked a cross between a revenge joke and time warped nerd. My tightly tapered blacked back was an embarrassment as much as a landing strip flattop. My hair should resemble Glen Campbell`s, not Grace Jones'! The barber said I looked great, but I was in dispair as I walked out of the shop. I felt everyone was looking at my hair. The wind blew and I felt several strands of hair fall over my left ear. I pulled out my comb and put them back. Then I continued to comb back straight and across the back. I repeated the motion on the opposite side. I felt reassured that my long hair was still there at least on the sides and upper two thirds of the back. I gently felt the back and affirmed the formation of a definite DA. I accidently felt the bristle of the tapered block and like the contrast. As for the top, I would have to wear a hat or wrap for a couple of weeks. Then it happened. I got home and looked in the mirror. I touched the flattop and tried combing it flat foward with a resulting ceasar like bang. I tried combing, left, right and centre part. Nothing worked. I was trapped in a half inch and stubble boxtop. Maybe if I went to another barber, he could do something to fix it. I descided to try it. I went to a close by working class neighborhood and looked for an `I mean business` shop that had seen it all. I spotted one prospect with three construction worker types waiting with hair like mine. Two had long hair with shorter tops that appeared like long grown out flattops or burrs, that had a height that shortness can give if plastered back in place. Seemed I was in the right place. One guy proceeded to get a trim without touching the top. The second got an overall all inch trim which gave a nice puffy tapered effect and the third got a longish businessman`s cut, which looked good on him. Now I was alone with the barber asking what I needed. I asked if he could get rid of the boxtop and make it look natural. He seemed a bit puzzled and said the boxy look was fine, but there was one way he could make it look natural if I was up for doing anything. I said yes, just loose this tiara on my head. He askecd if I was sure. I said definitely. How about a cold one then, it`s almost closing time and I could use one now. I thanked him and we drank as he closed and locked the door and drew the blinds. No need for gawkers, he chuckled and I smiled in agreement. I`ve got to admire a guy who knows what he wants or does not want and is willing to go the distance for it. I thought it a kind remark but odd,so I mentioned I only had the boxtop a few hours, but knew it was a mistake I could not live with. Well, he said, "We`ll make sure it does not happen again," as he handed me another bottle. I hadn`t eaten since early morning and as I finished the second bottle I felt at ease. The old barber was busily fussing with his equipment as he said to help hyself to more fortifacation if I wanted. I didn`t, but I was warm from all mty frustration and the beer was ice cold. He caped me and as I finished the bottle he asked if I wes rfeady. I said now or never. He smiled broadly and said `son, I ready too, let`s sit back relax, have another beer and I`ll fix you up. Now your sure you want the box gone for good? If I never see this again, it will be too soon, I boomed. Good , grab another beer and enjoy the ride` he laughed. I was warm and asked if he cold turn on a fan. It was a noisey old thing and I could not hear him or much of anything after that. I did hear him say I had good hair and enjoyed using his equipment on it. I thanked him finished the bottle and was tired and fighting nodding off, He handed me another beer and said enjoy. My head was nodding as I drank and I felt he hold my head firm but lightly in that position. I heard buzzing, sensed clippers on the top of my head and then nothing. I roused feeling very warm and a bit sweaty and seemed to be in a stuffy place. Half asleep, I asked the barber to open a window, He said he had. Then he said `looking totally natural now` I roused to see a strange bald guy stareing back from the mirror. I was MPB!




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