It Will Look Fine by Deke
It seemed too good to be true. Kelly was beautiful and she was really into me. I always thought that I was OK looking. M one good feature was my hair. My long brown curls covered my ears which tend to stick out a bit and I wore my hair long and thick so that the rather prominent nose I inherited from my dad didn't look quite as large. The thing was Kelly said that I worried way too much about what I looked like. Yeah, right. She is perfection walking and tells me not to worry!
We had been dating for about a month when Kelly started talking about me cutting my hair shorter. Now, being a guy dating "way above my weight class," I had to be very careful about this. I kept coming up with excuses. I even had my regular stylist cut my hair about an inch shorter than usual. Kelly was very effusive in complimenting the cut, but just used it to push for me to go short next time. But the trim bought me some time. Kelly upped the ante on my about a month later. She told me that she wanted me to meet her folks, but that wasn't going to happen until I got a short haircut. "Come on Babe, it will look fine." Let's get this taken care of tomorrow.
Saturday dawned bright and sunny. I got up and washed and styled my hair as usual. It was really looking good. Kelly looked fantastic. She was wearing a tight skirt and a low cut blouse. Her long legs looking so good. "Come on, you," she said, "Lets get that mop sorted out." Kelly had told me she knew the shop she wanted to use. I assumed it was her salon. I was shocked to see her stop in front of a very old fashioned looking barber shop. "Babe," I said, "a barber shop?" Kelly got a bit peeved with me and told me to stop being such a baby. So, we went inside.
I guess I should have known that something was up when we entered and Kelly said "hi Daddy, a new customer for you." The barber smiled grimly and said, "get into the chair young man." He quickly caped me up. He tried running a comb through my curls. I was feeling more and more uncomfortable. I should have gotten up out the chair, but I looked over at Kelly and she looked so good. I had not been to a barber shop since I was a little kid, but still, what happened next shocked me. The barber turned me away from the mirror. I heard a click and suddenly, I felt the cold steel blades at the bottom of my well tended side burns. The shock of feeling the clippers move high up the side of my head was terrible. "Please sir, not too short," I said. The barber didn't miss a beat. "You will sit there and I will give you the haircut that I will give you." Kelly smiled sweetly and said "don't get daddy angry." The barber had continued and could feel the clippers now going high up the back of my head. I knew it was too late to stop him now. The barber continued to strip me of hair around the sides of my head. Finally, the clippers were turned off. I looked over at Kelly, hoping to get that special smile that told me everything was ok. Instead, she had a strange smirk on her face, I had never seen he look like that before.
The barber next started squirting water on the long curls still on top of my head. The water started dripping down onto the sides of my head and I could feel that the water seemed to be right on the skin of the sides and back of my head. "Oh sh*t," I thought, "he's skinned me." The barber roughly ran his comb through my curls before he started chopping away at the curls. He lifted and cut, lifted, and cut. Finally, he combed my bangs down so that they covered my eyes and then chopped through them just above my eyebrows. He stopped and said to Kelly, "higher?" Without hesitation, she said one word "much." With that, another three inches went. Next I saw him pick up his thinning shears. "We are going to get this curly mess to lay flat," said the barber. And he went to work. It seemed to go on for minutes. Next I felt the shaving cream being spread around my head. "Hold still," admonished the barber. He scraped the straight razor around my head. He wiped away the remains of the shaving cream. Then he took some sweet smelling product and rubbed it into my my remaining hair. I felt a part being made and my hair being combed over to the side. It felt like the comb was right on my skull. Finally, the barber turned me toward the mirror. I looked terrible. My ears hung out with no hair anywhere near them. They looked like car doors hanging open. My nose looked huge. My beautiful hair was mostly gone. What was left was on top and it was laying thin and flat on top of my head. The barber smiled and said, "the haircut is on the house."
Kelly got up and we walked toward the shop door. She looked at me and said "that will look fine in six months when it starts to grow out. Now, get yourself home and hide until it does." I must have looked as puzzled as I felt. She said "you can't expect me to be seen with you looking like that can you?" With that, she turned, went back into the shop and I heard the door lock, as the closed sign went up.
As I walked away, a guy came up to me and said, "sorry to bother you man, but that looks like a Kelly special." I asked him what he meant. He said, "I just saw you leave Kelly's father's shop. She did the same thing to me six months ago, you must be the next victim." I looked at him and I noticed that his blond hair looked to be about three inches long and kind of unkempt. He went on "Ive been growning my hair out since then." He then explained that he had actually found out that there were several other guys "in the club. "Nobody knows why she does it. And she is so hot that nobody believes it if you try to warn them." We had a couple of beers, and the guy made me feel a little better. But when I got home and looked in the mirror, I knew that I would be remembering this haircut for a very long time. I am shorn, shamed, and stuck with no hair for months to come.