The Manifest of The Bald League by GermanCut

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Advice Don't take it too serious!



THE MANIFEST OF THE BALD LEAGUE


Preface

The Bald League is the visible expression of the international bald movement. The Bald League is the manifestation of the invisible bond which unites all baldies around the world. The Bald League is a non-government and non-profit organization without any money, without hierarchy and nearly without ambitions. The Bald Leage doesn't care who you are, which origin you are, which religion you have or not, which gender you are, whom you love. All you need is to love bald heads.


I. Definition of a bald head

A bald head means to have the hair shaved "down to the bone" like it is said. A bald head is always clean shaven with a razor. Somebody with MPB and a fringe of hair isn't really bald until he lathers up his head and shaves off the remaining fuzz. Very short buzzcuts and so called "clipper-shaves" characterize the fake baldie!


II. Requirement of membership

We invite all baldies and bald-head-lovers to join us!

You are welcome, if you are

a a full-time baldie, which means that you want to keep your head shaved and that you shave it at least once a week. Of course, a daily head shave would be the best, but one doesn't have always the time for that. People with fast growing hair who shave their heads even twice a day are very welcome!

b a part-time baldie, which means that you shave your head at least once a year for a couple of weeks vacation. You don't want to be bald all the time because of several reasons work, wife, husband, friends. We respect your decision! We estimate your joy about getting shaved bald, which usually begins a long time before your visit to the barber or the evening in your bathroom with the clipper in your hand, when you are ready to shave it all off again. We estimate your special joy when the clippers and the razor run over your head, and when you see the huge amount of hair on the cloak.

c a lover of the shaved look, but still have a full head of hair. You are maybe the barber who shaves our heads smooth and enjoys it as much as we do. You are maybe the friend, the buddy, the wife, the husband, who rubs our bald head frequently and with intense. It's a pleasure for most of us and we don't want to miss any of you, our hairy brothers and sisters! Because of your work, your love, your kindness and the same preference concerning a special hairstyle, you are our allies.


III. Commitments

Members of the Bald League are committed to be friendly to their bald brothers and sisters and to the hairy ones. Smile at your bald brothers in the streets!
Don't tell bad jokes about bald people but make them compliments about the beauty of their bald heads!
Every baldie is an ambassador of the Bald League and the worldwide bald movement. Please, behave like that!
It's our aim to come closer to each other. It's our aim to make popular, that baldies greet each other and say goodbye by rubbing each other's head, whether they are friends or strangers.
Each member of the Bald League should at least persuade one person with a full head of hair to shave his head completely bald, so this person can share our joy of a shaved head!


IV. Questions for baldies

You might answer the following questions if you want. It's not for our statistics, because we don't need it. It's only because the writer of this manifest is curious about your answers. Please put your answers on the comments of "The Haircut Story Site", or directly to GermanCut. Alternatively, you can write your answer on a piece of paper, put it into your drawer or into the dustbin. Enjoy yourself!


1 What was the reason when you got your head shaved the very first time?

a curiousity, just for fun b vow, religious tradition c statement of love, solidarity d lost bet e bald for bucks f group pressure g headshave-party among friends h forced i role, theater, film k role play, BDSM l Mardi Gras, Halloween m surprise haircut, barber's choice n surprise haircut, moron brother promised to give you a stylish haircut but shaved you bald o messed haircut p clipper accident q MPB r mental derangement, political s mental derangement, private t drunk, stoned u army, bootcamp x I don't know


2 If you don't want to shave your head by yourself, which person will you favour?

a Mum or Dad b BF, GF, fiance, wife, husband c friend, best buddy d female hairdresser e hot barberette f male barber g very male barber h my master


3 Which location do you prefer for getting your head shaved

a classic barbershop b modern barbershop c kitchen d bathtub, shower e garden, outdoor f public shaving event g street-barber h temple, monastery i sex-club, saltire k lost place l locker room m workshop, barn n Every location would be right


4 How are you usually dressed for your headshave?

a suit and tie b boilersuit c leather gear d shorts and T-shirt e shorts and no shirt f boxershorts g naked h naked but white socks i uniform k Don't care about my clothes


5 When you enter a barbershop, how do you express your desire for a bald head?

a "I'd like to get my head shaved" b "Just a trim, please!" if you have an extreme short buzzcut c "Make me bald, Sir!" d "Shave it all off!" e "Shave it down to the bone!" f "As smooth as possible!" g "Please help me to get rid of my hair!" h "May you uncover my scalp?" i "Drive the clipper over the whole nugget!" k "Kojak!" l "Number zero everywhere!" m "A cueball, please, smooth and ultra-glossy!" n Instead of saying anything, you make a quick movement with the hand over your skull and imitate the sound of a hair clipper


6 Before you leave the barbershop, how do you show your joy about the bald head?

a "Thanks, bro! See you!" b "Thanks, mate, for shaving me the s**t off!" c "Excellent work, my friend! That's what I call a bald head!" d "It's so marvelous, smooth and shiny! Let me praise you, lord of the clippers, master of the razor blade!" e Too shy to say anything f Too aroused to say anything g Too shy and aroused to say anything h Don't need to say anything, because the barber just noticed my joy when he took a gaze just a bit below i Jumping up and down while singing "If you're happy and you know it" k hugs and kisses



BALDIES OF ALL NATIONS, UNITE!

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