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What! Are you Blind? by Dave
I had been looking forward to this day for a long, long time. Chip, my
best friend, has been encouraging me to take the BIG STEP! I wanted to get
my hair cut short. Chip wears a short crewcut. I’ve been wanting to get
rid of this long hair for some time, but each time I approached Terry’s
Barbershop, I chickened out. I would always say, “Just a light trim” and
let it go at that. Each time I found myself facing a time factor, I needed
to wash my hair and get it dry before leaving. I found that I didn’t want
to face that problem any more.
When I arrived at Terry’s, I didn’t hesitate this time. I stepped in and
found that I would have to wait about a half hour or so. I had long bangs
that now reached the middle of my eyes. I didn’t even pay any attention to
the fact that there was a new barber on board. When it was my turn, Cal,
the new barber, had locked the door and put up the closed sign.
I wasn’t the least bit nervous about what I was going to do. I got in the
chair and sat comfortably while Cal excused himself for a pit stop. Just as
Cal returned and put the cape on me, I suddenly remembered what Chip had
told me. He said that Cal got really agitated if you say the wrong thing to
him and you would no doubt end up with a shorter cut than you asked for. I
decided to “push his buttons’ if you know what I mean. This was my first
time with Cal so I had to start off with a BANG!
Cal introduced himself and asked me what I had in mind. I said, “I have
heard that you give one of the worst haircuts going, but I came to confirm
that for myself. I want the hair shortened a little bit and leave the bangs
alone. “Would you repeat what you just said,” asked Cal. I could tell by
the tone of his voice, that I had already gotten ‘under his skin.’ I
repeated myself but put in a few more negative comments.
Cal picked up the comb and began combing my hair. I said, “Now remember
just a light trim. That way if you screw up my hair too much, I should be
able to find someone who can fix it.” It wasn’t long before I heard the
clippers come to life and I thought, ‘Oh! Boy! Might I have gone too far
with the insults?’ After all he hadn’t done a thing yet, except be really
nice and put the cape on me. I looked around the shop and noticed that he
had a lot of awards on the wall along with a lot of pictures. There was one
picture that stood out - the guy in the picture reminded me of myself.
There was a before and after picture. His hair was almost identical to
mine, except I had these disgusting bangs and the after was really
Of course I didn’t have a Baldy in mind, but I wanted to see what Cal would
do if I pushed another button. I said, “Did you do that disgusting haircut
in that picture?” I pointed to the picture I had in mind. Cal came right
back with, “Yes! And it is a good haircut.” I couldn’t resist and said, “I
wouldn’t want to wish that bad haircut on my worst enemy.” Well! That did
it. Cal turned on the clippers and began running them up the back of my
head and right over the crown and almost to the forehead.
“I hope you aren’t going too close,” I said. Oh! Don’t worry! I won’t go
too close,” replied Cal. I knew I was going to get at least an induction
cut. I really wanted a short crewcut, but I couldn’t wait to see what
haircut Cal would give me. He sure did work fast. In no time, I could tell
I had lost my right sideburn that I had been cultivating for some time and
shortly afterwards, the left burn went as well. Soon the clippers were
turned off and cal said, “There! How’s that?” I looked in the mirror and
said, “Are You Blind? It looks terrible.”
Cal smiled and said, “I should have done something with the bangs.” With
that, he lifted the bangs up with the comb and with the clippers once again
chattering away, off came the bangs. All that was left in front was a very
short strip of hair that was about twice as long as the rest of the hair on
my head. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I wasn’t upset, but I
pretended to be.
Just then, from the back room, out came Chip. He was laughing. I looked at
him and said, “So you are responsible for this?” Cal was laughing also.
Cal was in on this from the start. Chip told Cal that I was coming in and
was going to try and push his buttons and Cal was ready for me. Inside, I
liked what Cal had done. He had relieved me of that mess. As I said at the
beginning, I wanted a short haircut.
I finally broke down and began laughing. I thanked Cal for the short cut.
Before I knew what I was doing, I said, “Cal! How about you using a good
razor on my head and finish the cut?” Cal smiled and said, “One Baldy
coming right up.” Chip’s mouth dropped open and said, “You’re kidding aren’
t you, Brian?” I looked at Chip and said, “I have been waiting for this day
for a long, long time. I wanted my hair short and I think a Baldy is about
as short as I can go.” I looked at Cal and said, “Are you sure you can make
it shine??” Cal didn’t waste any time. Before long, I was getting out of
the chair with the smoothest and shiniest head one could imagine. Of course
I couldn’t resist rubbing my head.
Chip came over and rubbed my head. I sure did like the feel of someone else
rubbing my head. Chip said, “You are the last person I can think of who
would go bald. How do you like it?” Right away I answered, “Fantastic!” I
asked Chip if he ever thought about getting a baldy. He looked at me and
said, “NO I haven’t.” “I know someone who could do it for you and I can
tell a sure-fire way of getting it done.” Chip laughed. I paid Cal and
thanked him for helping me make the drastic change. I couldn’t wait for
others to see my transformation.
The following morning, I got up and found myself rubbing my head. I didn’t
like the feel of it. Gone was the smooth surface that I liked so well. So
I carefully shaved the head. I found that it wasn’t as difficult as I
thought it was going to be. In no time, I was cleaned shaved except for the
mustache I had been trying to grow. When I looked at it, I had to admit to
myself, it was the worst excuse for a mustache. In a short time, the
mustache was history. Now looking in the mirror, I found that the clean
face added to the bald look. All that remained were my thick, dark
eyebrows. I thought the transformation was not complete.
I went outside, determined to begin tanning the head. It was early spring,
but I thought now is the time to begin the second step of the
transformation - getting a good tan.
I was walking in town when a SALE sign in a window caught my eye. I walked
in and asked about the sale and the lady told me that certain items were on
sale. She showed me the items that were on sale and before I knew it, I had
selected something that wasn’t on sale. I was determined to get them. They
were almost solid gold. I told the lady what I had in mind and she showed
me the same item, but in two different sizes. I thought the two sizes
looked really cool - one being slightly larger than the other. I purchased
them and the lady told me that since I bought from the regular stock, I was
entitled to have in-house installation.
For some reason, I wasn’t nervous. I was taken to a small room and the
procedure was performed in minutes without any pain. I looked in the mirror
and thought my decision was the right one. I like doing things right off of
the ‘cuff.’ When I caught up with Chip for lunch, his mouth dropped open
again - just like yesterday at the barbershop. He took a close look and
asked me what made me get my ear pierced. I told him it was a ‘spare of the
moment’ thing. I asked him if he had thought about getting an earring and
he said he had but didn’t want to go through the pain.
We talked about many things during lunch but we ended with the earring
question - again. We walked by the store where I purchased the rings. I
said, “Chip, let’s go in and get you pierced.” I opened the door and pushed
Chip in. In no time he found what he liked and we walked out two happy
The afternoon was young and we had lots of time on our hands so I suggested
we stop by the Discovery Center and take in the new displays. Chip agreed
but first he had something to do. Before I knew it, we were back to Jerry’s
and Chip was sitting in the chair and ordering up a Baldy. As we left, I
told Cal I would be in next week for a cleanup.
Here it is a week later and I am still convinced that the Bald Head is the
haircut for me. I love it. It is so comfortable and easy to care for. I
found myself in the chair and Cal was finishing up my second shave. When he
finished, I looking the mirror and said, “You know Cal. You should try one
of these sometimes.” Cal grinned and said, “I have been thinking about
doing just that. Do you have some time on your hands?” I looked at Cal
with that silly grin on his face and said, “Yes! Why do you ask?”
Cal sat in the chair and asked me if I would do the honors. I said, “You
are kidding aren’t you?” “Not at all” replied Cal. Now Cal’s hair was just
long enough to get a part in it. I couldn’t wait to take him down to the
wood. Just as I was finishing up the second shave, in walked Chip and once
again, his mouth dropped open. Cal laughed and said, “OUTSTANDING! But it
doesn’t have a shine on it.” Cal laughed and said, “We haven’t gotten to
that part yet. Before long Cal was standing, looking at his new haircut.
He pronounced it “AWESOME!”
As Chip got in the chair, Cal thanked me for a fine job. I said, “Did you
notice, NO BLOOD!” Cal laughed and offered the job of shaving Chip to me.
Chip responded, lightning fast. “No Way am I going to trust him. He might
do me in.” Cal laughed and began shaving Chip. As we left, Cal said,
“Gentlemen! Keep those head shining.” I knew I would do just that. I was
already looking forward to winter to see how the bald head would fare.
Another experience to be enjoyed, but that’s months away.