The Replacement Millenial by Barbershop Thrill
The Replacement Millenial (a barbershop karma fantasy)
Brian stood infront of the mirror and carefully ran his comb through the front of his tall shiny black pompadour . A stray curl had flopped down onto his smooth forehead. "I definitely need to find a stronger product to hold this baby in place. Maybe something to add a little more shine.," he thought. He smiled at the beautiful head of hair that now stood up three inches on top. It flowed backward in a mass of waves and curls that looked like a wild ocean of hair. The sides he controlled with gel into full wavy fenders that he swept back into a soft curling ducktail on the back of his head. He loved it when women would run her finger through his curls at his neckline. To contrast with the retro style he had also grown a nice thick beard. He liked how it gave the impression that he had a large masculine jaw even though he didn’t.
Brian was starting a new job today. The hiring manager told him he was being hired to bring new blood to the sales department. Brian had bigger plans to take over the work responsibilities of the lead salesman he was assigned to that Brian felt was "outdated" in the fast moving world of sales.
As Brian settled into his new desk he eyed the people around him. All middle aged desk jockeys. Boring clothes, balding heads, and he was sure nothing new to bring to the table. Seeing Bob enter the room he instantly got a feeling of disgust. He definitely felt it would be easy to take over Bob’s job and push him out. Bob was everything that people like Brian looked down on. He was short, fat, old, and bald. He had a ring of white hair around his head but a shiny bald dome on top. A thick white brush mustache defined his face. Brian was about the complete opposite of Bob except for his height. Both men were not tall. An insecurity that definitely bothered him. It was one of the reasons he recently had a new barber cut the long hair he previously wore in a ponytail into a pompadour. He checked his reflection in the small mirror he had on his desk and gently patted the towering top hair that made him appear much taller. He also bought some special dress shoes that added another inch to his height. With his cool hair, macho beard and sharp suit he definitely would stand out with the customer. He’d be replacing Bob within the year. This is one millennial that is going places he told himself.
Bob saw Brian getting situated at his desk he noticed him patting the top of his handsome head of hair while looking in a small mirror on the desk. He felt so jealous and had an uneasy feeling about the kid. He was young and dressed in a flashy new suit. He looked down at his old brown slacks. He knew management had been talking about cost cutting, fresh ideas and new skills training. Code words for young. He knew he was good at his job but he needed someone to give him some update training on the new software. It would save him time and give him the edge he needed to not get downsized. He decided to get Brian to train him as part of his job. There was something else though that stuck with him. Brian’s face seemed to look a lot like his. It was unnerving because he knew there was no relation between them. He couldn’t tell for sure however because the kid had an amazing big black beard that he knew was in style. He had noticed during water cooler conversations that other guys complimented Brians beard and those other guys who had beards. The bigger and fuller the beard the more compliments they seemed to get. He hadn’t grown a beard himself because it would have been completely white making him appear even older. Santa Claus was not on management’s fresh young faces list. Bob stroked his thick white mustache as he studied the kids face trying to see what the kid looked like without his beard.
As Brian began to work with Bob he became more annoyed by all the extra work he had to do showing Bob how to use the new software the company had rolled out. He looked forward to the day he saw Bob filling a cardboard box with his personal desk items. Brian thought everything about Bob was wrong for sales. "Bob’s old and tired and his clothes are dumpy. Why should he get to talk to the customers and get to be in charge. I’m sure customers would appreciate having someone who wears clothes from this century and doesn’t look like he’s their grandfather." he told a coworker over lunch. What he didn’t realize was that Bob was nearby at another table and his hearing was just fine. What Brian fixated on the most was Bob’s physical features. He was fat and bald. Very bald. Brian couldn’t take his eye’s off the guy’s distracting dome every time he had to spend time around Bob. "With that ring of white hair surrounding that round shiny dome his head looks like a sunny side up egg." He joked with his buddy in accounting. "Sometimes I just want to reach over and polish it" He laughed! "He’s so fat too. He makes me eat lunch with him all the time and all I can see is his big mustache devouring the massive sandwiches he brings in. At his age he’s should be forced onto a diet!" Bob was in the hall and overheard the laughter and immediately retreated to his office feeling down.
8 months later….Brian was was tired from all the late hours at work teaching Bob all he knew. With all the extra weight he was now carrying he felt sluggish. His former washboard abs had become a big beach ball belly over the last 8 months and his fat thighs now rubbed together when he walked. He didn’t seem to know how it happen but for some unexplainable reason it didn’t seem bother him. Whenever, he was eating lunch with Bob at Bob’s desk or dinner when they were forced to work late Bob always ordered food for them. Instead of worrying about his weight he was just really hungry all the time and eating a ton of food. He would then find himself rubbing his belly as a habit after filling up and the thoughts of worry would go away. In fact he had actually started to get thoughts in his head that he liked being bigger. He felt more comfortable and thought maybe more mature looking now that he wasn’t a skinny kid. He had also started worrying about money and about spending money. For example, he didn’t want to spend money on expensive new clothes as he out grew his. One Saturday he found himself buying some extra large work clothes at a Good Will store near his apartment. They probably had belonged to some bigger guy that had passed away and had been donated. Even though they were out of style and made him look older, they weren’t any different than the ones Bob wore. They were business clothes and they fit so they would do. Besides the big wide tie that now laid on his round belly looked kind of vintage cool to him anyway. It was also in better proportion to his big size unlike his old narrow ties. When Bob offered to fully pay for a relaxing haircut and shave at his barbershop he took him up on it. "Free, relaxing, just what I need," he thought.
The big barber introduced himself to Brian. "My names Mike," he said. "Bob arranged and paid for my special upgrade package for you. It takes a little while but you’re my last appointment for the day. We have plenty of time. You can just have a seat and relax and I’ll do all the work. " "I don’t usually visit places like this. I have a salon on the other side of town I go to but since Bob’s paying I’ll give you a try." Instead of the brisk step he had eight months ago he now waddled as he walked to the big barber chair. It felt good to plop his big butt into the comfy red leather seat and rest. His stomach rumbled since it was almost dinner time. He rubbed his round belly and found it strangely comforting. The Barber shook out a large white pinstriped cape and it swirled over Brian and settled onto him. As it was fastened around his neck the barber carefully lifted Brian’s big beard from being trapped under the neck of the cape and layed it on the outside the cape. As Brian sat in the chair looking out the big glass windows he realized he was not facing the mirror like in the salon he normally went to. It was sunny outside so there wasn’t a reflection in the glass. Otherwise he would have been able to see what passerby’s saw. The large white pinstriped cape that draped over him completely covered his fat body and the large comfortable chair. To someone looking in he looked like a giant snow pile in the middle of the barbershop with a hairy human head sitting on top of it. A head with a tall shiny pompadour and a big long black beard spilling down onto the snow. He had a strange mental imagine pop into mind of his head just rolling off the top of the mound as a hand gave it a little push.
"First let’s get this pomp and beard prepped," said Mike. Mike put the tip of his comb along the top of the sides of Brian’s thick black hair. He began by dragging it from Brian’s forehead to the back creating a part line on each side of the top. This separated his "fenders" from the big pomp on top. Brian then felt the teeth of the comb on his scalp as it directed his hair from halfway down the back of his head upwards into the hair on top. Mike then put a clip on it to keep it there. Brian had seen that done before to keep longer hair away from clippers. When the barber began to spray his hair and beard with some kind of strong hairspray over and over, he was sure his beard and hair was going to become a solid helmet of hair. His beard felt heavy and stiff. "Let’s let that harden up for a few minutes. This seemed really strange to Brian but before he could ask Mike about it, Mike started a new conversation. "How much did you raise for Movember? " "$250," said Brian. "I don’t really want to shave my beard. I get compliments on it all the time and It will take me a year to get it back. But Bob expected me to participate. I think he made me do it because he’s jealous. However, lately I’ve been thinking that I might look good with a mustache." "I bet you will," said Mike. "Let’s just see after I work my magic. I think you’ll find there’s a whole new man under this hair, " said the barber holding the beard in his big hands. After a few minutes the chair was tipped back so Brian was looking at the ceiling. His long beard laid like a blanket on the white cape before him. As the clippers clacked on he winced at the realization that it was going to be cut off. At first you could not see the clippers as they moved under the beard cutting it free from the soft skin between his neck and chin. The Barber was careful to not separate the cut hair from the attached hair as he continued to run the clippers up along Brian’s jaw. At last he ran the clippers under Brian’s beard from his chin up his cheeks. When the clippers emerged at the top of his cheek the barber continued to be careful and not disturb the large mass of curly black hair. Brian was relieved when the clippers were switched off sparring his mustache. To his surprise, Mike then cupped his hands under his beard and was able to lift it off his face in one piece. He then set it on the counter behind him. Mike sprayed the back of the beard with a new spray Bob had given him from the R&D department. It would form a plastic film on the back of the beard holding the loose hairs together. "There. That will fit nicely." Brian didn’t know what "fit" meant and he thought that was a curious thing to say but he didn’t have much time to think about it. Mike was suddenly pumping warm shaving cream from the dispenser on his counter into his hand and then began rubbing it onto Brian’s face. A hot wet towel was plopped on top of that. He couldn’t see anything but the warmth felt so nice and made him sleepy. Despite losing his beard he was kind of excited by the idea of a change in his appearance. Lately he had been thinking that men with mustaches looked masculine and distinguished and hoped that was the effect on him. Soon the towel was removed and more shaving cream was being slathered on. Mike quickly shaved his skin with deft strokes. Sean could feel him pulling on his skin to stretch it taught below his chin as the razor stroked against it. Mike chuckled, "I didn’t guess you had so much chin hiding under that beard." Brian didn’t know if that was compliment or what he meant. The barber wiped the razor clean on a towel and then when he was finished he wiped Brian’s face with another warm damp towel. Moving behind the chair Brian could hear a bottle being opened. Suddenly the barber’s large hands were rubbing some cooling aftershave on his cheeks and chin. His face felt loose and seemed to Jiggle in Mikes hands like a bag of jello.
"Now the hair" said Mike as he tipped the chair upright. Brian felt dizzy as the blood drained from his head. He went to reach out from under the cape but Mike pushed his hand back under. "Not until I’m done. I need to do a lot more before you can see the new you." "A new me?" thought Brian. But he didn’t get time to question the barber as the chair was suddenly turned toward the tv to distract him.
Mike was going to have to be careful to keep the pompadour intact for Bob. Bob had been silently watching Brian from across the room from a dark doorway in anticipation. Carefully Mike slid his comb under the sides of the pompadour along the parting he had made between the top and the side fenders. He picked up his sharp scissors from his counter and quickly and quietly began snipping the hair strands below the comb as close to the scalp as he could. The hair sprayed pompador sat above the comb and wiggled. However with all the product and hairspray holding the strands together it remained in one piece as the tips of the scissors probed further under it. The TV obscured the sounds of the silver shears snip, snip, snip as they cut the strands free from Brian’s scalp. Because Mike only cut small amounts at a time Brian couldn’t feel anything but the comb moving against his head. Also, there was no hair falling down on the cape so he assumed the barber was just doing some trimming of the ends. The barber deftly snipped away from the left side part to halfway across the top and then moved to the right side parting and slid his comb under the pomp to repeat the procedure. Brian watched the ballgame and was oblivious as the shiny scissors snipped further and further under his pomp until they reached the already freed strands on the other side. Then running his flat comb under the clipped up hair that had been combed into the top from half way down the back, Mike repeated the process snipping the hair free at the scalp all the way up into the crown. Soon the only place the pomp was connected to Brian’s head was along the front hairline. Moving very slowly Mike slid the scissors under the pompador from the sides as close to the scalp as he could. He snipped and snipped until the tips of his scissors emerged out of the kids perfect hairline, snipping it free. When he was sure there were no strands left connecting the pompadour to Brian’s head he picked up two large flattop combs. Standing behind Brian he slid one under each side of the pompadour like a pitchfork. He looked over the top of Brian’s head at Bob and gave him a wink. Just then the ballpark organ played the charge the field song. Da, da, da dum da dum. CHARGE! Mike lifted the combs and the pompadour rose upward and off the top of the kids head. He turned around and set it ceremoniously on his counter behind the chair. He carefully turned it upside down and sprayed it with the same spray he had used on the back of Brian’s beard. It formed a thick skin that the cut ends of the hair embedded into. Brian suddenly felt colder and looked up. , "Would you mind turning off the fan? I’m suddenly feeling a cold draft." Watching from the dark doorway at the back of the room Bob chuckled and ran his hand over his bald dome, "He’ll soon have to get used to that." He said to himself. Moving toward the doorway Mike said quietly to Bob so Brian couldn’t hear, "It’s time for me to start working on you." He pointed Bob towards a chair in another barber station in the room behind the one Brian was in.
"Now for the special treatment," said Mike as he returned to Brian. He put three tubs of cream, a nose clip and a shower cap on a table next to the chair. "What’s this all for," said Brian?" "It’s a special treatment to finish off your look. Don’t worry, it will make it smooth and shiny. It’s all part of the package Bob set up so it won’t cost you a thing." Brian hesitated and then said, "Well ok. As long as I’m here and he’s paying for it I might as well. He kind owes me for the extra work I’ve been doing for him. What’s the nose clip for?" "This stuff can have a strong smell but it will leave your mustache very soft." Thinking about how having a soft mustache would feel nicer, he agreed. Mike put on some latex gloves and while Brian watched the game. First Mike coated the short snipped off hair on top of Brian’s head with using his fingers with one of the experimental creams Bob had given him. It was in a red jar. Brian thought about how nice his pompadour looked when the hair is shiny with pomade. He had no idea that’s all he had on top was short stubbly strands. He didn’t know that the cream coating them was a new type of hair remover. One that not only dissolved the hair at the root but turned off the growth genes of the remaining hair cells. It rendered them impotent to ever grow again.
Then Mike applied the other experimental cream from a white jar to the long hair that formed the swept back fenders and ducktail on the sides and back of Brian’s head. He massaged it right to Brian’s scalp and combed it through so all the strands were covered. This new cream would separate the pigment from the hair cells so it would wash right out of the hair shafts leaving them completely white. It also turned off the pigment production in the hair roots so they would only grow colorless white hair in the future. He place a plastic shower cap on Brian’s head to trap Brian’s body heat at his scalp. The heat helped the process cook and it kept the cream off of his favorite barber chair. He then tipped the chair back to work on Brian’s face. He put the nose plug on Brian and told him to close his eyes for the facial. He put nickels on Brian’s eyelids to ensure he didn’t open them, telling him it was for safety. Brian had never had a facial before so he thought perhaps this was normal. Mike then massaged the same bleaching cream he used on the sides of Brian’s head into his remaining thick black mustache. Then he rubbed some into Brian’s eyebrows with his fingers telling Brian that it would help them look good to assure him it was normal. He then reopened the red jar and rubbed the removal cream into the kid’s fat face where just earlier a nice lush beard grew. Once the treatment was done turning off hairgrowth cells no beard would ever grow there ever again. Instead the world only see the flabby double chins and sagging cheeks he had uncovered. Finally Mike opened a small blue jar that Bob had given him that was labeled TIME He began to massage it into the skin around Brian’s eyes and forehead. Bob had told him that it would make sure the kid didn’t still look like a kid when they were done. Brian could feel all the creams getting warm and tingling his scalp and skin. He asked if it was normal and Mike replied, "That’s how we know it’s working. You’re going to look totally different when it’s done." Brian imagined his hair was going to look amazing and his skin would have a healthy glow to combat the lack of sleep look he had lately. Mike then put a heat lamp over Brian’s face to help it all "bake" He put headphones for the TV on Brian’s head and told him to just lay back and listen to the game while the treatment worked its magic. In the tipped back position with his eyes closed and the warm feeling on his face and head, Brian soon drifted off to sleep.
As the creams went to work on Brian’s hair and face, Mike went to the other side of the wall. There he saw that Bob had removed his baggy dumpy business clothes and placed them on a nearby chair. Next to the old clothes there was a new smart slim blue suit. Then he saw a pillow that Bob had been wearing under the clothes for the past few months so Brian didn’t see he was losing weight and getting thinner while Brian got fatter and fatter. Bob stepped out from behind a nearby door and sat in the Barber chair in shorts and a T-shirt. "I’m ready!" he said with a big grin on his face. "Wow you really lost a lot of weight man." "I’ve been keeping it hidden with that pillow and big clothes over there. I’ve been working with a trainer for the last 6 months." "You look great!" said Mike, "Even your face looks younger." "I had my skin lasered last week to remove sun damage and shrink the wrinkles. I got a different cream from the R&D department that plumps up collegen. "I can’t believe how well it worked," said Mike looking carefully at Bob’s now youthful face. "It’s amazing!" said Mike, "but now we need fix the rest of you up." Hes said as he ran his hand over the smooth top of Bob’s head.
First Mike mixed up some black hair coloring that matched Brian’s pompadour and got ready to apply it to Bob’s remaining hair. He then set a wind up timer going. At that point both he and Brian had the same amount of hair. Bob had let his sides grow out into nice full fenders like Brian’s and started combing them back into a ducktail in the back also. As he let his hair grow it became evident that he also had the same natural curls in the back that the kid had except his were white. That would not be the case 30 minutes later. As the timer ticked away, Bob’s hair changed from an old man’s ring of white hair into a young man’s shiny black. At the same time Brian’s black hair was being stripped of its color by the bleaching cream tuning it into an old man’s snowy white. His mustache and eyebrows were also turning white while Bob’s were becoming shiny black.
When the timer dinged, Mike washed out Bob’s hair in the sink and dried his head with a soft towel. Mike lead Bob back to the barber chair and spun it to face the mirror. Stepping behind the chair he lifted the towel straight up from Bob’s head like a magician and said, "Ta DA!". Bob was shocked with amazement, "I feel 40 years younger" as he ran is hand over the black hair on the sides of his head and his now handsome black mustache. "Just wait till I give you the kid’s hair," said Mike enthusiastically. He turned Bob away from the mirror so he wouldn’t move around trying to see before he was done. He then went to the counter where he had moved Brian’s pompadour. The special spay on the bottom had turned to a clear thin skin that held the snipped ends of the hair to it like it was rooted into real skin. Essentially Brian’s pompadour had been turned into a perfectly molded hairpiece. Mike looked around the wall between the rooms that Bob and Brian were in to check on the kid. He laughed when he saw that he was sleeping, "Arrogant punks got no idea that he’s getting the Rip Van Winkle treatment." He carried the pompadour to Bob’s chair and said are you ready? "So ready," said Bob!. Mike lowered Brian’s hair onto him and Bob reached up and touched the top of his new hair with a grin that reached ear to ear. "Boy is this stiff" "Once I wash out the hairspray I’ll style it up for you with a flexible pomade and it won’t feel like that." Mike traced around the new hairpiece with a washable marker and then set Bob’s new hair on a Styrofoam head on the counter. He then fired up a small balding clipper and with a bare blade he buzzed off the remaining fuzz on the top of Bob’s head down to the traced line. Bob could feel the soft hair of Mike’s hair whisk sweep over his bald dome sending the clippings floating to the floor. Mike then massaged some shaving cream into the small amount of stubble and quickly scraped it a way with his razor. As he wiped the cream away with first a warm wash cloth and then a soft towel, Bob enjoyed the sensation of towels drying his dome, "Boy that feels nice." "Don’t worry you will still feel that when you take it off. Now you get to still get all the good sensation of a bald head and have hair too," Said Mike. Soon Mike had coated Bob’s head and face with some adhesive using a small sponge. He sprayed it first with some alcohol to give him a few seconds to move the hair around before the glue held firm. He carefully lowered the pompadour onto Bob’s head and adjusted it into place. The latex side stuck tightly to Bob’s scalp transforming him into a guy with a full head of hair. Following the same steps, he then placed Brian’s beard onto Bob’s face. Brian was still facing away from the mirror and still did not know how he looked but Mike told him he needed to wait a couple of minutes so the bond could dry and set a timer. When it dinged he brought Bob over to a wash sink and once his head was resting back into the basin he began to wash Bob’s new hair and beard. As the stiff hair products were rinsed out Bob couldn’t believe he was getting to enjoy the feeling of having his hair washed. He had been bald for so long that he had forgotten how nice it felt to have fingers and water running through his hair. After blotting it dry, Mike brought Bob back to the chair. He then trimmed Bob’s new hair at the sides to blend into Bob’s new pompadour. Bob’s comb and fingers ran through the sides of Bob’s head over and over as he layered the fenders. Mike then picked up his blow dryer and soon they were full feathered black wings that swept back on the sides of Bob’s head into a curly ducktail in the back. Bob was smiling ear to ear as he felt hair being combed on the top of his head for the first time in decades. Bob couldn’t believe he was able to sense the warm air from the Mikes hairdryer and the bristles of his round brush gently tugging hair on the top of his head. When the hairdryer was shut off and some pomade was rubbed in he felt the rounded teeth of Mike’s comb running through his sides and into the back to form a perfect ducktail. He could have sat there for hours as Mike combed it back into a towering pompadour after rubbing in some fiber pomade. Mike then ran his fingers into the curls at the bottom of the back fluff them up so they could be shown off. After a quick shot of hairspray on the sides and top, Mike patted Bob’s fenders with both hands to hold their shape as the hairspray dried. He then turned his attention to Bob’s new beard. Now that the stiff hair spray was washed off he applied a leave in conditioner cream and combed it out . Bob reached out and ran his hands over the thick long beard with a huge smile on his face. "It’s so soft!" He decided to let his beard grow out underneath the glued on one over time so he could enjoy it permanently. Mike then said, "Are you ready to see the new you? Or should I say Brian?" He turned the chair slowly around and Bob stared at the man in the mirror with his mouth hung open. He knew his face looked similar to Brian’s but the resemblance was uncanny. He looked just like the cocky kid that had showed up at his office 8 months prior. He blinked and stared at the young face, hair and beard that looked identical to the man that had planned to take his job from him. The same young man that was now being transformed in the other room. Mike held up a mirror for Bob to see the back, "This is awesome," he said admiring the ducktail formed by his handsome black fenders sweeping together. He reached back and felt the soft black shiny curls in his fingers to assure himself it wasn’t a dream. Bob, now the new Brian, then went into the bathroom to change into his new suit as Mike went back to work on the old Brian.
Mike prepared the sink to wash off the treatment he had used on Brian. He then took off Brian’s shoes and brought them over to the room Bob was in. As he returned, he heard on the TV the baseball announcer shout out, "it’s going, going, Gone!" He chuckled to himself, "and so is this kids hair!" He carefully woke up Brian and said, "You’re ready to get a shampoo now." He led the confused and sleepy man over to the wash basin, carefully keeping him facing away from the mirror. He started the water running so it could warm . First he had Brian lean over the sink to have him washed his face but he told him to keep his eye’s closed to keep the treaments out. He helped apply some shampoo and then conditioner to Brian’s mustache after they had washed out the cream When Brian said he was done Mike handed him a fluffy towel. Brian’s face felt strangely tight and itchy as the skin dried around his eyes and forehead. He wasn’t near a mirror and Mike quickly turned him around so he could sink into the wash chair. He was then tipped back so his neck laid on a towel on the edge of the sink. Mike pulled off the shower cap and started running the warm water over Brian’s head. At first the cream ran into the sink and turned the water black just like the hair color did when washing out Bob’s hair. However, it wasn’t hair coloring, it was Brian’s own hair pigment mixing with the water. As the last of Brian’s natural color rinsed away down the drain, Mike found his hands running through pure silky white hair on the sides and back of the kid’s head. Taking a white wash cloth he began gently wiping the top of Brian’s head as the water ran over it. The dried cream rubbed off easily into the flowing water along with the short stubbly hair that had remained after Brian’s pompadour was snipped off. "Oh that feels nice," said Brian enjoying the massage of the washcloth. He was completely unaware that the last of his hair on top, roots and all, were slipping off his head with the running water and swirling down the drain. Cool water now washed over his now exposed smooth pink skin dome. Mike then applied a nice spearmint smelling shampoo to Brain’s head and massaged the white hair and the top to remove any remaining chemicals. He stared down at the kid. 40 minutes ago he looked like a 26 year old millenial and now he looked like a 66 year old man. That’s a year a minute he thought. He would have to stop calling him the kid and think of him as an old man now. He then turned off the water applied a thick buttery conditioner all over. As his hands massaged the conditioner into the white hair and now bald top of Brian’s head, Brian moaned, "This feels amazing! My scalp seems to feel everything!" "It’s one of the things you will be like about this," said Mike. After leaving the conditioner on a few minutes Mike ran the water in the sink and Brian could feel cool water and Mike’s big palms run over the top of his head over and over. "Is it smooth and shiny like you said.?" he asked in anticipation." "It’s definitely smooth. It’ll shine later when I apply some polish." Brian thought Mike must be talking about some hair product he hadn’t used before. Soon a fluffy towel was wrapped around Brian’s head and he was lead back to the barber chair that faced the outside window. The big white cape was whipped out again. It floated down over his body making it once again disappear, transforming him back to just a head sitting on top of a big snowy mound. A head now covered with a towel turban. In a dramatic show, Mike stepped in front of Brian and pretended to be a magician removing a scarf from an object like he had done with Bob. He pullled the towel up and off Brian’s head revealing what looked like an old man’s little bald head poking out of the cape. It had a pure white wreath of long curling white hair encircling the pink bald dome. Hair that now hung down to the bottom of Brain’s ears and bottom of his collar in the back without pomade to hold it in place. A fluffy white mustache floated under his nose like a cloud on his face. Brian’s eager eyes looked up at Mike under his now white bushy eyebrows. Eye’s that now had definite crows feet radiating from them with dark circles below them. His forehead had dry horizontal wrinkles etched into it making him look like a senior citizen. Brian’s now exposed chubby cheeks and double chin made it impossible to recognize this old man as the cocky young kid that had arrived an hour earlier. Mike jumped back in surprise and whistled out loud in amazement. "Wow, that’s the real deal!" "Does it look Good? I was planning on hitting the clubs tonight. I gotta look slick. " Brian asked. "It’s amazing! Your top definitely looks slick dude!" laughed Mike. He couldn’t believe how the the head poking out of the cape in front of him looked like that of the old Bob he had know for years. He looked like the grandfather to the grandson that the real Bob had become. He'd have to start thinking of the man in his chair as the new Bob. "It’s a totally natural look for you." "Can I see," asked Brian? He wanting to have the chair turned toward the mirror. "Let me get this trimmed up and style it with some pomade. Then you can see the new man you’ve become."
To not give away anything, Mike carefully dragged his comb over the top of the new Bob’s head. It felt strange to Brian but he reasoned his hair must be so soft and tangle free that the comb was just able to glide right through it like nothing was there. Next he could feel his hair being combed on the sides and held taught in Mikes fingers as his scissors snipped and layered the three inches of hair that Brian had been slicking back. This would allow them to dry into nice feathered fenders just like the new Brian’s. He added some pomade and combed them back into a ducktail in the back and Picked up his hairdryer and brush. As he blew the sides and back dry they became a full fluffy white cloud of hair circling Brian’s bald top. Brian then felt Mikes hands rub some pomade into his sides and then the comb dragging throught them. After a quick shot of hairspray Mike patted the sides with both his hands to hold them in place while it firmed up just like he had done for the new Brian. The visual effect of the now white feathered fenders on Brian’s sides contrasting with the smooth bald dome looked like the wings on Mercury’s helmet to Mike. Damn this is cool, he thought. He then turned his attention to the new Bob’s mustache. He combed it straight down and trimmed the bottom edge along his lip. "I think I’m going to miss my beard." Said Brian. "Did the treatment make my mustache soft. Girls always say they liked how soft my beard was." "Like a fluffy white cloud," said Mike. "Go ahead and feel it." Brian reached out from under the cape and felt his mustache. "Wow! Your right! I’m sure glad you gave it your treatment." He felt his face along his chin. It felt soft and loose and he looked up at Mike in alarm. "I see you’ve found the extra chin that came with that order of beach ball belly." Brian turned red in embarrassment. He knew he had become fat but he didn’t think about it showing on his face. He didn’t realize he had grown an extra chin because it had been hidden under his beard. However, as soon as the thoughts of being fat entered his head his eyes seemed to glaze over. He had a strange calming feeling and his hand seemed to instinctively move to his belly and rubbed it. He suddenly felt happy to be fat. "What was I saying?" he asked Mike. Mike hadn’t noticed what had happened so he said you were asking if your hair is soft." "What kind of shampoo was that?" asked Brian. "My scalp has this cool tingling sensation like there’s a breeze blowing in here. " He looked up to see if the fan was still off?" "It’s got mint in it." said Mike. "Oh. It feels good. I should get them to use it at the salon I go to," grinned the old man.
Hi Bob. I like your new look! Very handsome." said the new Brian as he walked in front of the barber chair. Brian’s eye’s blinked as he took in the doppleganger of his old self. "What’s the!.. Why do you look like me?! Why are you calling me Bob?" "I’m the new you," said the new Brian. "What? What are you talking about? Why is your beard and hair cut like mine?!" "It’s not LIKE your’s, it IS yours, or to be more precise it WAS yours," said Bob.. Smiling with a big grin he patted the top of the towering pompadour the way he had seen Brian do countless times in the past. "What are you talking about?" said Brian again as his hand slowly ventured out from under the cape. He went to pat the top of his pompadour in the same way but instead of feeling his thick wavy hair, his fingertips touched down on smooth bare skin. Brian froze and his eyes grew wide. Quickly his other had flew out from under the cape to his head. His fingertips frantically searched for his hair only to find smooth skin from his forehead all the way back to where his new u shaped hairline now dipped halfway down the back of his head. "Oh my God! I’m totally bald! Where’s my hair!" he yelled looking at Mike. "You’re not totally bald. You still have your fenders and a nice curly ducktail in the back," said Mike as stepped behind Brian and ran his fingers up into the hair on the back of Brian’s head to show him. Except now instead of the black feathers in your fenders you now have nice white feathers. "White?!, What to you mean white?" "Ok. Time to introduce you to the new you… Bob." The barber chair was slowly turned to face the mirror. "Brian’s arms dropped to his sides and his mouth fell open as he stared at the man in the mirror. He couldn’t understand who he was looking at. His mind was racing. He reached up and gingerly touched the top of his bald head again to see if it was just a dream. Mike held up a mirror so he could see the back and Brian slowly turned his head left and right to see that his baldness dipping down into the U shaped hairline in the back above a white curly ducktail below. He put his hands on his fenders and saw that they did indeed look like white feathered wings. Noticing his mustache he stood up and raced to the mirror. He touched his now white mustache feeling the soft hair again. It did look like a cloud under his nose and he remembered that he had just told Mike he was glad it was given the treatment. With his beard gone he could now see his weight gain had given him fat sagging cheeks and a double chin. "Oh my God!" He said pawing had his flabby face. Because he was in shock his now white eyebrows seemed to be permanently raised up in surprise. Under them he could see more prominently the dark circles and bags under his eyes now that his hair wasn’t dark. He squinted to look at them closer and let out a gasp seeing that they now had deep crows feet radiating from them. He touched his lined forehead in horror. What’s happened to me??? My face! My hair! It’s gone and what’s left is…. white!" He pulled off the cape he was covered in and staggered back from the mirror. He now took in the full view of himself and squeaked out, "I’m old…..and bald?.... " And fat teased the new Brian poking him in the stomach.. Suddenly the new Bob’s eye’s glazed over after hearing the word fat and his hand rubbed his big belly and a relaxed look overtook his face." After a few seconds his eye’s became focused again and he again looked at himself in the mirror. Feeling the hard floor through his socks he realized that he didn’t have his lift shoes on. He had to look upward to the faces of the two other men in the shop and It was now obvious how short he was compared to them He saw his height adding shoes were on the man that looked like him. "Are those my shoes," he asked? "I need those… They make me…" "Taller," said the man with his shoes and tall pompadour? The guy looked at least 6 inches taller than him. "Wow, without your hair and shoes your even shorter than I was," teased the man as he patted the top of Brian’s bald head! "Now you’re the one who is short, fat, bald and old," he laughed.
"Why?!! Why did you do this to me," Brian cried?! "This isn’t supposed to happen to people like me. I had awesome hair! I’m only 26! I can’t be bald! Who are you?" He said.
"You wanted to take my job and plotted to replace me. You looked down on me and plotted to steal my job before I could collect my retirement, "said the old Bob. "So now, you will be replacing me, but not as you imagined. You are now the replacement for the short fat 66 yr. old bald guy you looked down upon. How does it feel to be the very thing you mocked?" "Bob," asked the old Brian in shock? "How did you? I…I… I didn’t…. I mean…but you were……." He said. "That’s not an apology. I’m sure you see now that I’ve taken everything that was yours so I will be replacing you as Brian Connors and you are now Bob Parker. "But that’s not…That’ my hair and beard pleaded the old Brian." "Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of it." laughed the new Brian as he patted the top of his pompador and stroked the long black silky beard. "It feels even better knowing it was all your’s. Besides, you’re about to be forcibly retired and sent to a senior mental home so it wouldn’t work for you there.
"What," said the new Bob? You can’t do this. You’ve got to fix this he pleaded to Mike. "What do you mean," said Mike, "you look great! You said yourself you were glad I gave you the treatment!" The new Brian then felt a little sorry for the new Bob. "Don’t worry, I won’t leave you in this state of torment. I just wanted to see you suffer when you became aware of what has happened to you. I’ve already hypnotized you over the last 6 months to make you like becoming fat and that worked perfectly." "You what." asked the old Brian.?! "I’m sure you will soon enjoy the other features of your handsome new look." The new Brian pulled out a small hand held fan that the old Brian vaguely remembered seeing before. The blades were painted red white and blue like the colors of a barber pole. The new Brian turned it on and the old Brian’s eye’s began to stare at the slowly spinning blades. Soon they glazed over and his chubby legs wobbled. "Have a seat," he told the old Brian.
Sitting in the barber chair with the hypnotic fan in front of his face he listened to the new Brian. "Your name is Bob Parker. Your 66 years old. You are retiring because you have dementia and need to be in a senior memory care home. You can’t remember anything and have an IQ of a 5yr. old. All memories of being thin are gone and you like being fat. Whenever you think about your weight you will rub your belly and enjoy how it feels good. All your memories of your life are lost. You know that you must have had hair at one time but now, you love the feeling of fingers touching the bald top of your head. You like that it’s smooth and shiny. Every morning you will polish your head with aloe and baby oil so it shines. When you do this it will enjoy how good it feels. You only remember that your are short, fat, old and bald. Soon the orderlies from the senior dementia home will arrive and will take you there to live. You do not remember ever being Brian Connors. You are Bob Parker" The new Brian turned to Mike and said, "Polish his dome so it shines and the hypnosis will take full effect." Mike put some squirts of aloe and dropped some shiny oil on the top of the new Bob’s head from a small bottle. As he massaged it in with his fingers waves of pleasure could be seen on the new Bob’s face and his eyes rolled back in his head. When it was nice and shiny the new Brian told the new Bob, "Ok Bob, run your hand over your chrome dome. You just got a haircut and you love how it feels.." The new Bob obeyed and put his fingertips to his head. He and ran them gently from his forehead to the back of his head. A smile formed on his chubby face and then his eye’s seemed to focus again. "What’s going on? I must have been dreaming."
Suddenly two big orderlies came in the room and introduced themselves. They said they were there to pick up Bob Parker. "Oh that’s me," said the new Bob! The two men towered over the little man. He only came up to each of their shoulders. "My names Bob he said looking up to them. I’m retiring because I can’t remember anything anymore. I’m hungry." He said rubbing his big belly. "Is there ice cream where we are going?" "Yes sir. You can have all the ice cream you want," they said. "I just got a haircut. Is it smooth and shiny, asked Bob? He rubbed his fingers around the top of his head in a circular motion. "It sure is sir," said one of the big orderlies looking down at him. Each of the men took one of the fat little man’s arms. The new Brian watched as they walked the new Bob outside to a waiting car. The sunlight shined off his bald head. He had found his replacement. Who would have guessed it would have been a millennial to fill his shoes.