Simon Says-Part IIa (no clipper version) by P.J.
Simon Says - Part IIa (non clipper version)
Now, sit man, it's my turn with the clippers Simon said, smirking at me.
I gulped audibly. It was do or die time. Well, I thought to myself, what are you going to do now, Jed. I could feel my fight or flight instinct starting to kick in. NO! I was not going to leave, not now. Simon seemed like a cool guy. I couldn't really read him yet though. He said he was pissed that I'd cut his hair too short, but in the same breath said he thought it looked great. Would he follow my instructions, to the letter? I could be such a dick when it came to haircut time. I realized once again, this sucks, Jamie knew just how to cut it, he teased me once in awhile, joking about taking it all off one of these days, but he knew that was never going to happen. He always did such a great job. Oh hell, I said aloud, flopping onto the seat.
Simon was a bit surprised. Wow, that looked like quite a conversation you were having with yourself there Jed, Simon quipped. Yeah, well, I'm always anxious when it come to getting my hair cut man, I replied. You seem like a cool guy and all, but how do I know I can trust you.
Ah, Simon said, let's see, I'd cut my buddy's hair ever since were in high school. I've given him practically every cut from a tight butch to a shag over the years. I almost never gave him the same cut twice in a row man. He was always changing it up. As you can see I have all the necessary gear for any type of cut, and I'm familiar with using all of it, I can assure you of that, at least. Simon had picked up the cape and taped my neck and fastened the cape firmly around it, just a bit tight, while he was talking to me. He picked up the comb and began to comb out my thick plush locks. Hmm, he murmured, you have incredible hair man. How long has it been since you last had it cut. I thought for a minute, well, gosh, it's been probably 3 or 4 months since Jamie last cut it.
Really, then you don't get it cut super short, right, Simon asked, running his hands through the heavy bangs. They touched down just past my nose, almost to my upper lip. He gently ran the comb and his hand through the top, then the sides and back slowly. It felt wonderful. like a gentle massage. I'm just trying to get an idea of how your buddy used to cut your hair. Doesn't look like he used the clippers much, if at all, am I right, he commented while running his fingers up through the back, starting at my nape. I'm guessing it is basically a layered all over cut, ears half covered, mid collar length in back, and bangs maybe at the bottom of your eyes. How close am I, Simon said, smirking, fluffing through the top of my head. I sighed, wow, pretty much right on, only I like the bangs a bit longer than that.
Hmm, Simon said, as he combed everything back out again. Well, then, I can trim it up, take an inch or so off to start, and you can see if I do a good job, and we can go from there. Unless of course, you have other ideas Jed, he said, smirking at me again through the big mirror. Without even realizing it, I'd been taped and caped and was now ready for the slaughter. I shivered involuntarily under the cape. Simon put a hand on my shoulder and said, relax man, I know just how you feel. I felt the same way a half hour ago, and I let you pick up the clippers and have a go at me didn't I. Look how that turned out he said, smirking again, admiring the fresh cut in the mirror for a second. I know, I know man, I'm sorry about that, I said sheepishly. I might have gotten a bit over zealous with those new clippers. They 're great by the way. Jed, have no fear man, I do like the cut, really I do man.
Take a deep breath Jed, Simon said, and we'll get started. He reached for the big shears and the barbers comb. He paused for a second and said, wait, I'm going to have to get you damp. I'm not used to doing the scissor work all over, I'm used to picking up the clippers and going at it, sorry. He grabbed the spray bottle and proceeded to thoroughly wet me down. Ah, there now, that's much better. Picking up the shears and comb again, he started combing and sectioning. I was relieved, he knew enough to section things off, a sure sign he knew what he was about anyway. I eyeballed myself in the mirror, uh, Simon, can you make the horse shoe a bit wider on top? He frowned, studying me for a minute, and said sure, I guess so. The duck clips now held up my thick heavy top mop and bangs. Starting on my right side, he proceeded to take off better than an inch, evenly layering, then trimming and finishing leaving about the top third of my ear expertly covered, he combed the first section forward and trimmed to outline my face too. Wow, this guy knew what he was doing. I relaxed as he moved around to the left, and repeated the process again. I still have some razor work to do but what do you think so far, he asked, stepping back.
I turned my head side to side. Yes, I said, smiling just a bit, that looks great. O.K. want the same amount off in the back too, he inquired. Um, I think so, I replied. That would leave it about mid collar length then, right , I asked. Uh, yeah, sure, that's about right he said, combing the lower part down. Your hairs a bit wavy, almost has some curl to it back here, is that because its so long, or if I cut it shorter will it get even wavier? There's always a bit of curl to the very bottom, I replied, no matter how long or short you cut it. Ah, O.K. then he nodded. Hmm, what if I take the clippers and give you a slight taper at the bottom, just for an half inch or so, rigth at your nape, would it still curl. I shuddered , uh, I don't know man, haven't had it cut that short since I was ten, was my curt reply. O.K. I'll take off the same amount that I did on the sides for now then, he said and started sectioning and cutting. Think about what I suggested Jed though he quietly commented, clipping away. I now had a not insignificant little pile of locks accumulating in my lap as he snipped away. He had a gentle touch as he moved his way up the back of my head.
This looks really good, Simon said, as he did the final snipping around the edge from ear to ear. I'll come back and shave your neck when we're all done. He came around the front of me and stood, eyeing me critically from several angles. He tucked the hair hanging over my ears in behind them and eyed me again. Hmm he said, and combed it back out over them again. What was that all about, I wondered.
He started taking the duck clips out, thick heavy hanks of damp auburn hair sliding down over my face, and overhanging the sides. Interesting, Simon commented, the fresh cut parts are a bit darker than the uncut length is. I know, I said, that's always happened. I think that the top portion gets a bit sun bleached, even though I don't think I spend that much time outdoors. That's how everyone can tell I've had a haircut too, it's a dead giveaway. Wow, Simon said again, doesn't look bad though, but the cut has to be good, otherwise the mistakes will light right up I'm guessing. Well, actually, yeah, I hadn't thought about it that way, but sure I guess. Well, he huffed jokingly, I need to be spot on perfect then, right? Damn Skippy you do, I replied, smiling. Now, there's lots of ways to cut the top and bangs he said, running his hand through the thick shanks of hair on top and hanging in my face. Preferences, he asked. I like the thick, layered look, I replied. No thinning, and bangs a bit uneven, I don't like them to look like I just chopped at them with scissors. He got a mock hurt expression on his face, I could never do that to you he said, pouting, I'm a professional after all. He smirked at my reflection and laughed. I like it graduated to something shorter at the crown, I usually wear it combed back, not slicked, but pushed back, and I don't like it to hang funny in back, if you get that I mean. I know I'm not explaining myself well, sorry, I said. No, no, I think I know what you want, the top at the crown will be the same length as the top of the back, that will make it all blend in when its combed back.
He combed the damp bang shank down, slid the scissors in just at the bridge of my nose, and Snip! before I had a chance to weigh in on the length. I gasped theatrically. What! he barked, it's not too short is it he said, concern spreading across his face. Weeeel, its too late now isn't it, I quipped. No, really, Simon said, squatting down ant looking me straight in the eye. Did I f*** up, he asked quietly. No, man, I just wasn't expecting the initial chop without you confirming the length first, it's O.K. though. Really, your sure, he replied, still worried. Really Simon, it's fine, keep going man. He finished snipping, then ruffed them a bit. How's that length, O.K. ? Yes, that's great, I said, don't worry, you're doing a great job. He proceeded to do graduated layers, leaving it heavy at the sides with a pronounced disconnect. I want to try something, he said, if you don't like it, I can cut more off, I'll talk to you in a minute about it.
He finished layering the top and grabbed the blow dryer. I looked at his reflection with raised eyebrows. Not to worry man, bear with me a minute. He thoroughly dried my hair all over. Putting the dryer back on the counter he said. O.K. what do you think? I pulled hands out and ran them through the fresh cut mane. Feels great, I said. Give me some matrix, and I'll work it through and combed it back. Well, Simon said, would you take a suggestion, from your barber, of course, he said smiling. I frowned, O.K. what'd you have in mind. well, what if I cut your bangs shorter, say, bottom of your eye brows, an left the wide overhang on the sides, would you wear your bangs down? I pondered that for a minute. Hmm, never did that before, I said. You can still stick 'em back when you want, to look buttoned down, he said, it would be a bit more of a pomp, but I think you'd look great with a no part, bangs forward look too. I'd clip it shorter, around your years, not over them, and maybe give you that very slight taper in the back. All just suggestions man. Or I can just blend the top edges in and we can call you done. Up to you. I just wanted to make the suggestions before I layered the sides in.
I sat and played with my fresh cut for a few minutes. Simon was studying me intently the whole time. If you cut it around the ears, you wouldn't be clippering it real short like I did with you, would you, I asked, more than a bit of trepidation in my voice. Simon looked at me with raised brows, no, no, I'd scissor cut it, not clipper it, I'd still want it to be thick and heavy. I'd cut it close to your ears, there'd be no white walls, if that's what you were afraid of. I fingered the now shorter thick locks at the nape of my neck. Hmm, could I give that up too, I wondered, turning my head as far around as I could to see the current look.
Hmm, I don't know, I said, looking Simon right in the eye. Maybe next time we can do that, I said inquiringly. Simon didn't miss a beat. Next time? You mean you'd consider having me cut your hair again, he said, clearly surprised. I said, well, yeah, sure, would you cut it again when its long enough to be cut again, I mean. He beamed at me, ear to ear smile, Yes, sure, I'd be happy to cut it again, and again after that too,, if you wanted. The question is, would you cut mine again, Simon asked. Yes of course I replied. Hmm I said, could it be that we going to be haircut buddies?
He smiled. again, reaching for the scissors. Let's get you finished up, he said. Wait, I said holding up a hand. How about a compromise. He looked at me inquisitively, brows raised again. I said, let's try the bangs forward idea, and trim up around the ears, leave the back as it is though , this time, I asked? Your wish is my command sir, Simon said. He gingerly snipped around both ears, fully exposing them for the first time in years. Then he did some careful point cutting on my bangs shortening them to a bit below my eyebrows. There, let's see how that works he said, we can always adjust later, right? He smiled and ruffed the top. It had a thick thatched look, edges of the disconnected top just slightly hanging off to the sides. Hmm, interesting to be sure, it changed the whole look of my face. He got a dollop of shaving foam, touched in front of each ear, and gave a swipe at my nape. I was amazed at his handling of the straight razor, after I got over the initial shock of him coming at me with the blade open. He gently and expertly evened up my side burns, and lifted the short length hanging below my nape to clean my neck up. Razor work completed, he wiped me down, brushed me off, and said ta da! done! He unsnapped the cape and removed it with a flourish. I reached for the can of matrix, he grabbed it out of my hand. Please, he said, let me, I know how I want it to look. Please. I paused and said, sure, I guess, go for it. Thanks man, I love playing with your hair by the way, there's just something about it, it feels great to play with it. Not sure if it's the texture, thickness, or what, I hope you don't think it's too weird. He expertly applied the matrix to the top, brushed it a bit, tugged at it here and there, and said, O.K. what do you think. You can keep your hands in my hair all day man, you have a gentle touch, it feels like a slow massage. He got a bit red and said, thanks man, my buddy usually had me cut his short enough there wasn't much left to mess with. Occasionally he let it grow out, I used to love it then.
I looked at myself from all angles in the big mirror. It certainly was shorter than when I arrived, that was for sure. I didn't know if I liked the bangs down look yet though. I played with it a little and said, don't get mad, picking up the brush. I want to see what it looks like brushed back too, O.K. He nodded , a look of concern on his face. I brushed it back, it's didn't lay the way it used to, so I used a bit more matrix, it looked better but not the same as it used to. He took the brush, got behind me and brushed it a bit differently. How about that, he said. It will lay different with the disconnected sides than it used to, that's all. I pulled it forward again, playing around like he had before, and got it to look the way he'd had it. I looked at him and he nodded. I said, let's go with this tonight, we're done here, man.
He high fived me and said sure, give me a minute or two to clean up and we can sit and have a beer if you're up for it , O.K. I said absolutely, where's your broom, I'll sweep up while you put the gear away.
I smiled to myself, this was a good night, new cut, and new haircut buddy. I suddenly realized that I'd come out of this with most of my hair still on my head. This morning I'd resigned myself to a self cut buzz with the new clippers I'd bought. Sometimes Karma smiles on you I guess.