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Grimm's Hairy Tales: Skinderella by BaldSurfer


The start of a series if you guys enjoy them:

Once upon a time in a small kingdom lived a young man named Bryce. His mother had died when he was very young, and when he was 12 years old, his father married a woman named Vera, who had 2 teenage sons of her own named Dirk and Derek. Where Bryce was growing up tall and lean with golden blond hair, Dirk and Derek were short, stocky and dark haired, with big noses and gnarled teeth. Just before Bryce's 16th birthday, his father died, leaving his home and all his money to Vera. She indulged her own sons' every whim, showering them with money and gifts. They wore the finest clothes and ate the richest foods. Bryce was forced to live in a small closet beneath the stairs. He was forced to clean the house and tend the farm. He wore his step brothers' ragged, ill-fitting hand-me-down clothes and ate only their leftover scraps. If he complained, his step brothers would beat him. So each day he put on his ragged clothes and tied his long blond hair into a pony tail and did his chores. He grew taller, and the hard work made him muscular and strong. But as hard as he tried, he couldn't wash the filth and ash from his golden hair and it hung limp and dull colored.

Then came the announcement that the king of the land would host a ball for his daughter Princess Anna in hopes of finding her a husband from among the countrymen. It was all that anyone talked about. Vera bought her sons fancy new suits of the finest silk. Bryce asked his stepmother if he too could go to the ball and she laughed and told him he had nothing to wear, was a filthy farm rat and his appearance would embarrass the family. Bryce decided on a plan to surprise his family and show them that he could make them proud. He took the fabric from his brothers' old hand-me-down suits and made his own suit that fit him well. He took the best shirt h had and scrubbed it again and again until it was nearly white. An on the day of the ball, he woke up before dawn so he could finish his chores early, and then he spent hours washing his skin and hair, scrubbing away years of dirt and grime.

Dirk and Derek put on their fine new suits. They wore Bryce's father's finest rings. They slicked back their oily black hair, and tried to shave close enough to hide their constant coarse black stubble. Vera was delighted with how "handsome" her sons looked. As they were about to leave, in walked Bryce, in his hand made suit, his hair once again golden as the sun, flowing over his shoulders.

Vera saw him and shrieked. "Where do you think you're going?"
"You said I couldn't go if my appearance would embarrass the family, so I worked hard on this, so I could make you proud!"
Dirk and Derek laughed and charged at him. "You're not going anywhere. What do you think this is, some fairy story like Cinderella?" They tore his suit to rags. Then they grabbed scissors and a razor and began hacking away at Bryce's golden hair. Chunks of beautiful hair flew all over the room and covered the floor. They used the razor to shave bald spots all over his head. "You think you're Cinderella? More like SKIN-derella now!"

"Now you're not fit to appear anywhere in public" Vera said. "And be sure this mess is cleaned up before we get home."

Bryce looked at himself in the mirror, in the rags that remained of his clothes. His beautiful hair was gone, reduced to patches of skin and uneven stubble. Feeling defeated, he tried not to cry as he swept up all his lost hair and placed it all in a burlap sack. With the sack of hair beside him, he sat on the back doorstep and sobbed. Suddenly a bright light appeared and coalesced into the form of a handsome old man in a long white coat.

"Bryce - I'm your fairy god-barber and I'm here to help."
"Can you fix my suit? Can you give me back my hair?"
"Of course I can give you a new suit. But are you sure you want that long hair back?"
Bruce said he was sure so the old barber took a glowing razor from his pocket, waved it over him and suddenly Bryce was in a shiny new silken suit. Another wave of the razor and he could feel his hair growing back. In seconds it hung below his shoulders, clean, flowing, and more golden than ever before. Bryce was warned that the magic would only last until midnight and he raced off to the ball.

He walked in, handsome, well dressed and confident. The crowd seemed to part as he approached. Moments later he was dancing with the princess. She laughed at his jokes, complimented his dancing and said he was the most handsome man she'd ever met. Vera and her sons looked on in shock and anger. Was that Bryce? Impossible!

Bryce and the princess were kissing on the balcony, her fingers entwined in his golden hair as the cluck began to strike 12. Bryce panicked as he saw his clothes begin to fray. As he pulled away from the princess, she found clumps of his golden hair in her hands. He ran off into the darkness, apologizing as he ran. He was home, back in rags, his hair again a stubbly mess when the family returned home. "See, Mother," said Derek. "I knew it couldn't have been him!" But Vera remained skeptical.

Word got around the kingdom that the princess had fallen in love and would go door-to-door to find her handsome blond suitor. Vere hatched a plan and bleached her two sons' heads. They looked ridiculous with their yellow hair and coarse black beard stubble but it was worth a try. The day the princess was to arrive, she noticed that Bryce's hair had begun to grow back. Still suspicious of him, she ordered her sons to shave him completely bald, so that the princess could never recognize his golden hair. Derek held Bryce down in a chair while Dirk ran a straight razor of his head. They didn't even use shaving cream, so Bryce winced in pain as the sound of a razor scraping away the last of his hair echoed in his head. When they were done, his scalp was raw, red but completely smooth and hairless. Still, as the princess arrived, Vera told Bryce to wait on the back step and stay out of sight.

Derek and Dirk stood tall and straight as the princess ran her hands through each of their mops of greasy, yellow bleached hair. The look of disgust on her face told the story. She would not be fooled. She was about to leave when she heard sobbing from the back of the house. She ran through the back of the door and saw the bald young man, crying on the step. She wanted to know why he was so sad, and asked him to stand up so she could comfort him. He stood, and she looked at his tall muscular body, his handsome face and his gleaming bald head. He was breathtaking. This beautiful bald man was perhaps even more handsome than the blond stranger she was seeking. Then she noticed the sack near the step, stuffed with golden hair.
"Is that your hair?" she asked. He nodded and she asked him why he had shaved off all his hair. Was he trying to hide from her?

"No, your highness. My brothers shaved my head so you'd find me repulsive." She giggled and said that they were wrong. She was still in love with him. As they kissed, the fairy god-barber appeared, waved his magic razor and restored Bryce's flowing golden mane. The princess stepped back, looked at Bryce and at the fairy god-barber and said"If it's all the same to you, I think he's more handsome without all that hair."

"As you wish" said the fairy god-barber and with a wave of his razor, Bryce's hair was gone, his head was as tan as his face and shone in the sun, without a hint of hair to be seen. His head would remain smooth and hair-free forever, never any stubble to mar its perfection. They were soon married and lived baldly ever after.



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