Quarterback Sneak by Deke Cutter
Coach Harris looked with some disdain at his star quarterback's long lush locks. Todd Richards was a great QB, but that hair. Todd's team mates all sported buzz cuts and tapers. Most were administered to each other in the dorms, but not Todd. He loved his long lush locks. The coach was shaken from his revery by his assistant reminding him of his planned meeting with the defensive line. The coach was a great motivational speaker and his big beefy denensive line were a good bunch of fellows. As he ended his talk with the boys, he said that he was very pleased that they all looked so clean cut and how much it meant when a team showed that kind of cohesion. Chuck Polansky, a tight end on the team spoke up "too bad Todd is so attached to his long hair, huh Coach?" The coach just shook his head and said that different folks had different ideas about being part of a team. He said to Chuck, "maybe you boys can convince Todd to clean up." After the coach left the locker room, Chuck and the rest of the guys hatched a plan.
Todd was a heavy sleeper. Once he went down, he was down for the count. So, when he awoke to find himself tied to a chair, he was completely confused. Standing in front of him were Chuck and the rest of the linesmen. "What the f#@k guys?" "Bro," Chuck said, "it is time for a change, you are losing the mop. Todd loved his hair. He hated short hair and remembered how dorky he had looked as a kid when his grandpa had given him a home buzz cut. "Can't we talk about this? Look, I'll go down the Cuttery tomorrow and get trimmed up, ok?" The guys surrounding him shook their heads. Chuck explained that they were a team and he was going to look like part of the team. That was when called for the clipppers.
Todd almost peed his pants when the clippers touched his thick hair and were pushed back across the top of his head. "There you guy buddy " said one of the guys. "Not too short, not too long." Chuck continued to mow down the top of Todd's head, leaving him with about an inch of thuck hair up top. Chuck called for the number 4 guard and quickly changed them out. He then went to work on the sides and back of Todd's head. Todd could not believe all the hair falling around him. Chuck finished up with a trimmer, cleaning up Todd's ears and neck and then, for good measure, took away Todd's beloved sideburns. A mirror was held up for Todd. What he was left with was a very homemade looking short haircut. The top of his head was noticeably longer than the sides, but still very short. Chuck then said to Todd, "this is how it stays buddy, for the rest of the season." You'll get it cut with the rest of us every two weeks voluntarily, or else you will get a full baldy. Your choice. Oh, ahd we know how much you like to pamper your hair so we got you a product more suitable to your new haircut." With that Chuck brought out a bottle of Vitalis and rubbed a healthy amount into Todd's hair. Then, with a new comb, he combed the top down. Chuck noted that the guys would expect that special Vitalis fragrance to be part of Todd's life going forward. Todd was speechless. But, he knew these guys would expect him to keep up this new regime.
Coach complimented Todd on his new look, as did all the staff. Todd hated it, but realized he had no choice and came to accept that it was what he had to do to show his team mates that he appreciated their support. Finally, the night before the final game came. Todd was thrilled with the thought of growing out his hair. But, he knew that this was haircut night and he was just hoping that the guys were going to go easy. As Todd sat down after practice, the week's team barber, Big Danny Fenster stepped up to Todd. "OK, Todd, you are up first. With that, Danny brought the cjippers with no guard up to Todd's very short sideburn tab and pushed it up the side of Todd's head, leaving nothing but skin. "Yes sir," Danny said, "team high and tights for the last game." Amd so it went, Todd's hair was shaven on the sides and he was left with, perhaps, a quarter inch on top. And so it went for the whole team. The guys knew that Todd would want to grow his hair back and they wanted his hair to be as short as possible when summer practices started in seven months or so.
Todd realized that he brought this on himself to some degree, but he also believed that he and the coach could have reached a compromise, if he had been given an opportunity and so, Todd decided that his revenge would be a dish served cold. Methodically, Todd put a plan into effect. Letters were written, sponsors were contacted and when summer practice started, both the team and coaches were shocked at the media attention and the logos for a well known children's cancer charity were on hand. A local reporter came up to the coach and told him that he and his brave assistant coaches were doing a wonderful thing by offering up their hair to raise money for the charity. And Todd, jumped in to say that he had also arranged for two big anonymous donors to double the amount if all team members also shaved their heads and if they all kept their heads shaved all season! The coach, this time, was speechless. Todd, got his revenge and the chairities got much needed funds.