Three in a Day by Buzzboy
It all started that Monday, the first day of my vacation from work, I had a week off and I was excited to get things done around the house. I started in with the kitchen, but the more I worked the more I realized that I was in need of a haircut. My hair kept falling into my face and it was driving me crazy. I hadn't had a trim in over a month, and my hair was getting quite long. Even my wife had commented that I needed a haircut. So I dropped what I was doing and headed out the door.
I stopped at the drug store to drop off a prescription and then it was off to the barber. It was very quiet that day as I entered the shop. I had been seeing this barber for almost a year and he knew how I liked my hair. I sat in the chair next to the sink and he washed my hair thoroughly and then we settled in to the cut. It was about half way through the cut that I realized that I wanted it shorter than usual, but I knew that he was already almost finished by the time I worked up the nerve to attempt to say anything. "Do you think I should go shorter?" I asked timidly.
"Well, I'll tell you, I'm almost done here, why don't we try it next time OK." I nodded my head, almost relieved that he protested. I paid up and was out the door. I got in the car and looked at myself in the rearview mirror. My hair was still over my ears by an inch and way over my collar in the back, it was shorter but not by much. It was my usual cut, but somehow I wasn't happy with it. As I drove toward home I realized that I had to stop by the drug store. I parked in the lot next door, and noticed a little barber shop, with a barber pole that had long ceased to spin, the window sported a neon sign that simply said "barber". I felt a stirring in my gut, I knew I shouldn't go in there but my feet were taking me anyway. As I walked through the door, the air smelled of old wood and antiseptic, sitting there reading the paper was a little old man.
"Haircut?" he said, almost automatically. He got up slowly and walked over to the single chair and raised the cape off the back and motioned me to sit. My knees were shaking a little as I stepped up onto the chair and nestled into the well worn leather. He shook the cape out with a snap and laid it across my shoulders, and fastened a tissue around my neck. "I don't do long styles young man, short hair is the rule in here." He barked as he tightly fasten the cape around my neck.
"That's OK" I stammered, " I wanted something shorter, maybe a regular business cut?" I was half waiting for him to say he didn't do those either but he nodded and went to the counter.
The first thing he grabbed were the clippers, he fastened an attachment and approached me from the rear. Snapmmmm… I heard in my right ear as the clippers made their first pass up the back. He seemed to be going rather high, almost to the crown. Over and over he worked the machine up the back of my head until he felt satisfied. I heard a little grunt, and then he was on my left, hair was falling all over the place as he ran them up in front of my ear. Again he was going pretty high, and I was getting more and more nervous. The same on the right, and then the clippers fell silent. The mirror on the wall had long since lost its power of reflection so I was left to wonder what I looked like as he started snipping with the scissors. He worked on the top for about ten minutes I guess before he reached for the clippers again, this time a smaller machine.
He never attached anything to it he just started to go around the bottom of the back again. Then he started to run them up the back a little stopping just under the bump there. He then came around to the side and placed them flush with my side burn and then ran them around my ear to the back and then did the same to other side. He then seemed to work on the sides some more about half way up. He loosened the cape after this and slid it off, letting an cascade of hair fall to the floor.
"OK young man, eight dollars." As he shook out the cape.
"Can I see how it looks?" I asked.
"It looks fine, a business mans cut." I took his word for it and paid him the eight dollars and headed for the car. As I got in I adjusted the mirror again to look.
"Holy s**t!" I was scalped. I ran my hands over my head in disbelief. I had two inch whitewalls around both ears that looked ridiculous, and the lord knows what the back looked like, the top was hacked to bits, with uneven edges everywhere and one spot where he must have dug to deep with the scissors so my scalp shown through. I shook my head and considered going back in the shop and demanding my money back. But then I though what good will it do, my hair is ruined, the eight dollars isn't going to fix it. I remembered that I had to pick up the prescription at the drug store, but I couldn't go in like this. I considered going back to my barber but what would he think after he spent an hour getting it right earlier. No I had to get it fixed but not by him. I drove down main street until I saw another barber shop. As I entered I saw that there were two chairs and one was occupied, the other was empty. I didn't waste any time, I sat right down in the empty chair and asked the barber if he could fix the damage that the other barber had wrought.
"Well" he paused to walk around my head. "I can fix it but you may not like it, It's going to be very very short." I groaned.
"Anything is better than this, yes?" I asked, and he nodded with a little smirk on his face. "How are you going to cut it?"
"You just sit tight, and I fix you up good, OK?" I nodded and he reached for the clippers. He placed an attachment on them and then without so much as a flinch ran them straight over the top of my head. Over and over he did this, the back, the sides the top! I was dumbstruck. He stepped around to the front and looked at the spot where that divot was and then changed the attachment and started the whole process again, all over my head again. Once again he set down the clippers and examined the divot. He shook his head "sorry about this pal". He reached for the smaller clippers and to my horror, they too were treated to a trip over my entire head. The clippers fell silent and I sat there in a fog. Then without even asking the barber spread shaving foam over my entire head and shaved me completely bald. "That divot was right to the skin so in order for you to look right I had to shave your whole head ,OK?." I ran my hand over my ultra smooth head and once again in disbelief. What had I done. I paid the man and realized that I still had to go by the drug store. As I entered the store the young lady that had taken my prescription earlier stared in shock as I approached the counter. After paying up and as I was heading out the door I heard her giggling with another girl and heard the word "bald" mentioned and I knew it was me they were laughing at. Just before the door closed all the way I heard the laughter break out in full force.
I headed home, half relieved that I didn't have to return to work for a week. I was bald, totally bald! My God, what is my wife going to think?!
To be continued...