Shave-o-Ray by Brad
Tyler was one smart cookie. He graduated top of his class and was accepted into one of the most sought after schools in the state. He was able to get a part-time job on campus as a lab assistant his freshman year. Tyler was pumped at this opportunity, as he would be working closely with one of the department heads and getting more hands-on experience. He was having a pretty good freshman year, by most people's standards. He was also pretty attractive standing at 5'11”. He went to the rec center when he could, so he had some decent muscle on him as the year progressed. His hair was cut pretty conservatively – short back and sides, combed forward on top, and light brown. Some of the girls in his class and dorm had fallen for him, but he wasn't super interested in pursuing them. His sights were set on his future. His future, and, well, dudes. Yeah, Tyler was gay and in the closet. Hard to come out in the backwoods hick town he was from.
But this is one of the reasons Tyler was so excited to work in the lab with Dr. McGreevy, or as the students liked to refer to him as, Dr. Mac. Tyler had a crush on him too, which was understandable when you looked at Dr. Mac. He was 6'1”, well-built and had a head full of curly, dark brown hair. Not like a fro; bushy, yet professional.
Tyler was able to put his feelings aside, however, in order to learn from Dr. Mac. He had been working with him for several months and had learned a lot about Dr. Mac's experiments, but there were a few he kept locked in a drawer. Dr. Mac explained that the files and prototypes in that drawer were "just for fun” and usually failures.
But, one night in March, Tyler realized he had left one of his textbooks in the lab. He walked over to the science building on campus and keyed into the lab room to retrieve his textbook. He noticed Mr. Mac's adjacent office door was open, which was unusual because Mr. Mac never left his door open. Tyler went to go close it and noticed that the secret drawer was opened. Tyler knew he should just close the drawer, but the curiosity of 19 year-olds usually prevails, so Tyler took a look.
Most of the drawer's contents were pretty tame. There was some odd mouse trap contraption that looked broken, some files about bacon-flavored mouthwash, and a draft of a prototype that looked like a robotic claw. It seemed Mr. Mac was right when he said the drawer was full of junk. Tyler then found a plastic water gun-looking thing that said "Shave-o-Ray” on the side in really s**tty painted handwriting. The tip of the gun's barrel had a piece on it that resembled a satellite, and there was also a knob on the handle. The knob had different levels that included "Legs, Torso, Arms, Crotch, Face, Head”. Tyler looked at the in the file with a similar label, but all the papers looked to have coffee spilled on them and Tyler could not really read most of the words. There was only one paragraph partially legible, and it said something about pointing the gun at someone and being able to remove the hair in the desired location. Another sentence said the hair would grow back, and that this was supposed to serve as an alternative to shaving.
Tyler wasn't sure what to think about this new device he had found. He felt like he should focus more on his concerns that the device's "WARNINGS” page was completely illegible…but he has also had a pretty sizeable haircut fetish. He wondered if the device worked. But, at that moment, he heard someone walking down the hallway outside. Tyler quickly put the ray gun in his book bag and closed Mr. Mac's drawer and office door. He then retrieved his notebook from the lab and walked out into the hallway.
"What are you doing in here, kid?” Tyler looked and saw a campus bike cop talking to him. Well, he was guessing it was a bike cop given his helmet and shorts.
"Oh sorry, I left my notebook in the lab after work. Just came by and was locking things up,” Tyler replied.
"Okay then, that's fine. I'm just gonna finish my rounds then.” The bike cop started walking down the long hallway again. Tyler stared at the man's legs in those shorts. They were muscular and covered in a coating of brown hair. He then hatched an idea to see if the ray gun would work…
He decided to wait for the bike cop outside the science building to see if his plan would work. He hid behind some bushes near the entrance, and where the campus police bicycle was parked. Tyler took the ray gun out of his book bag and set the knob onto "Legs” and waited.
A few minutes passed and then the police officer walked outside toward his bike. This was his chance! Tyler aimed the ray gun, held his breath and pulled the trigger while wincing.
"What the hell?” thought Tyler. There was no zapping noise. There was no crazy blue lightning bolts that went straight for the officer's legs. There wasn't even a jolt of pain that came from the cop.
Tyler sighed. "I guess this thing doesn't actually work,” he thought to himself.
The police officer peddled away and Tyler decided to come out of hiding so he could walk home. He put away the ray gun as he walked, but then he noticed something on the concrete. It was…hair. Little tiny hairs – a bunch of them! Maybe the device actually did work, but he just couldn't see the results from so far away! Tyler got excited and decided to get home and check out the gun again.
When Tyler got to his dorm he realized how late in the evening it was. Judging by his floor's quietness and faint smell of cologne, he guessed most of his neighbors were out enjoying their Friday night at the bars and house parties. Tyler keyed into his room and remembered his roommate was out of town at a conference for the weekend. Taking full advantage of his alone time, he locked his door, laid on his bed, and took a look at the ray gun again. He really wished he could have seen the copper's bare legs after he had shot off all his hair. Tyler got really excited thinking about it. He also began thinking about how he could use the gun again to actually see results. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by a high-pitched scream coming from down the hallway.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, JOSH. WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH YOU?” screamed some woman in the hall. Tyler got up and cracked his door to see what was going on. He saw a girl in party clothes standing in front of Josh's door and yelling at him.
"Baby, come back to bed,” said a clearly intoxicated Josh from inside his room. This was no news to Tyler, though. Josh was the designated drunk on the floor, and had been since night number one. He was constantly getting s**tfaced and getting himself into some kind of trouble.
The girl responded with "I'm not coming to bed after you just threw up all over it AND ME.”
"Gross,” thought Tyler.
The girl walked out of the hallway and, presumably, went home. Tyler heard a groaning noise come from Josh's room and saw the 5'11”, muscular jock walk into the bathroom in just his boxer briefs. Tyler felt like he should go check up on his drunken acquaintance, so he went to the bathroom as well.
Josh walked out of a stall when Tyler came in, and the toilet was flushing.
"Everything come out all right?” Tyler joked.
"Yeah, I feel better. Room's still kinda dizzy though. Ugh and I smell like ass,” Josh slurred.
"You might need to take a shower,” Tyler offered.
"You're right. Lemme go get a towel,” said Josh as he walked out of the bathroom. Tyler was pretty sure he was going to be alright now that he had emptied his stomach. And that's when he got a new idea for the ray gun. Josh's hair was about 2 inches long and very red. Red. No one called him a ginger because, well, he was a very intimidating fellow and he hated it when people called him that. But, Josh was also the floor drunk and had a habit of making awful decisions while intoxicated. There was one time when he hate a live goldfish while a crowd watched, and another time when he went streaking in the girls' dorm across the street at 1am. The way Tyler saw it, Josh winding up with less hair during the night would be no more unusual than seeing a squirrel on the quad.
While Josh was getting his towel and shower caddy, Tyler ran to his room and retrieved his ray gun, and placed it in his baggy gym shorts pocket. He also brought his tooth brush to have a purpose for being in the bathroom. Tyler came back to the bathroom and Josh came in a few seconds later.
Tyler began wetting his toothbrush and Josh was staggering to open a shower stall. He was in a towel and completely oblivious to Tyler standing at the sink. Tyler casually pulled the ray gun out of his pocket and decided to start small by moving the knob to "Crotch.” Right before Josh stepped into the stall, Tyler pulled the trigger. He saw some orange pubes sprinkle down to the floor as Josh closed the stall door. Then he heard Josh mumble obscenities to himself. Tyler could not control his giggles as he tried to surreptitiously brush his teeth.
Josh took a very short shower, and came out before Tyler had even finished rinsing. Josh looked at Tyler and asked "Hey, Ty. You ever shaved your sac?”
Tyler gagged a little on his water. "Uhh…what?” he asked.
"Erm…never mind,” Josh said.
"Sure thing, man,” Tyler said. "Hey, don't forget to brush your teeth.”
"You're right, lemme go get my stuff,” Josh said. Tyler took this opportunity to rush into one of the shower stalls and close the door to wait for his victim to return. When Josh came back, he looked around and saw that no one else appeared to be in the bathroom. With one last glance, he removed his towel and started checking out his package in the mirror. Tyler looked on and saw that Josh's package was completely devoid of hair! His machine really did work!
Josh looked very confused at his new hairless nether region, but just shook his head and reached for his toothbrush. Tyler decided to try one more trick on his floor mate, and moved the knob to "Head.” He thought he could shoot Josh when leaned his head back for a drink of water, and thus not automatically notice any hair in the sink. Not a full-proof plan, but Tyler felt like it could work for the intoxicated Josh.
Tyler saw Josh fill his cup with water from the sink, and as he was about to take a drink, Tyler pulled the trigger. Unfortunately, this happened right as the bathroom door opened, and in walked Tyler's friend, Ricky, who walked past Josh for the other sink.
"Oh s**t!” Tyler cursed to himself as he saw his friend's spiked black hair fall to the floor.
"What…what the hell??” exclaimed Ricky as he saw his falling to his shoulders and the floor. He looked in the mirror and screamed "Oh my god!” as he began touching his newly-bald head. Everywhere he touched was smooth and he couldn't feel a bit of stubble. Josh looked over seemed surprised.
"Whoa, Ricky. When'd you shave your head?” asked Josh.
"I didn't! I don't…my hair's everywhere! I don't understand what happened! Oh my god oh my god. Did I just go bald? Is that even a thing?” Ricky rambled as he continued staring in the mirror. Tyler thought he was going to be sick in the shower stall. Sure, he always thought Ricky would look hot bald, but this wasn't really the way he hoped to see it.
Ricky ran out of the bathroom as Josh drunkenly shrugged and gathered his belongings, leaving the bathroom as well. Tyler slowly came out of the shower stall and put the ray gun in his pocket. He looked at Ricky's black hair all over the bathroom tiles and felt awful about what he had done.
Awful…and a little excited…
If there's interest, I might do a part 2. Thoughts?