Promotion by Pharaoh

---

“Strop your razor Jordon. I’m going Bald!”
Kyle Morris was phoning his Barber, and best mate, from his small assistant manager’s office at the huge Mona Vale branch of Groceries & Greens.
“It’ll be my pleasure. So what’s happened? Have you left G&G?”
“No. That’s the big news. The boss’s wife won a world cruise, so he’s taken six months off, and won’t be back at this branch.”
“So you’ve got a new boss who’ll let you shave your head. Do you know him?”
“Haven’t got a clue.”

Kyle had worked at G&G ever since he left school – and before. His business management degree had been completed part time, and with his hard work for the company he had achieved the position of assistant manager, one of the youngest ever in the company. Though Groceries & Greens was a very progressive business in the field, they were also traditionalist in their attitude to staff. From the day Kyle began with the firm, he had been instructed to be neat, have polished shoes, clean fingernails, ironed and pressed uniform, and conservative, well trimmed haircut. There were no exceptions. Kyle really agreed with these rules, except the haircut. He desperately wanted to shave his head smooth –and keep it that way.
But the notice was clear, prominently posted in the staff room.
No hair past the collar
No Mohawks
No Mullets
No DreadLocks
No High & Tights
No CrewCuts
No BuzzCuts
No SHAVED HEADS.
Neat – Neat – Neat : Conservative – Conservative - Conservative
Of Course, Kyle as a rising management employee kept the rules. His hair was kept straight and short, parted, slightly gelled, always neat and freshly trimmed. Well, he could always have his hair as though he had just stepped from the salon chair since his best mate was a Barber.
Kyle suspected that the rules were outdated and asked the manager if this were so, pretending that a younger shop guy had asked him about having a HeadShave. “Certainly not. Why do you think that notice is there? Not only is it a directive from head office, but those are my rules also. And as manager I have the final say in my branch.”
Somehow Kyle was still not convinced, as he knew a department manager, Steven, from another branch who was ShavedBald. The shaved guy had told Kyle that as far as he knew, there might be rules against very long and untidy hair, but not against short hair. In any case he was already shaving his head daily when he joined the firm and no one had objected then, so Bald he was still and Bald be was staying. Kyle, as an under-manager was entitled to make a direct enquiry to head office.
Strangely the next day Kyle had a summons from HQ from the Human Resources Director. What could it all be about?
Paul Hogarth, the board member and manager of senior staff, welcomed Kyle warmly.
“Hello Kyle. Make yourself comfortable. Coffee? Relax. Kyle we’ve been keeping a close eye on you, and we are impressed. You’ve shot through the ranks at a great speed and now you are the youngest assistant manager in the company. Yes I know that there are four assistant managers at your branch, and you are the most junior. But that will change. This is just a chat to say ‘well-done’.
“Thank you. I really like working with C&C – “
“But there’s something else you want to talk to me about, isn’t there?
“Um – “
“Steven Penton told me last night at a bar-b-que that you are interested in shaved heads – for one of the juniors at your store?”
“Yes. That’s right. We have a big notice there banning all kinds of radical haircuts. But I think it out of date – and maybe even unofficial. A couple have come to me about it because I’m the youngest in management.”
“Keep this to yourself Kyle, but, yes, it is unofficial. Some of those restrictions were lifted years ago. All branches were informed – again, this is confidential – your manager is a very conservative so-and-so and he chose to ignore it. We have been aware of the situation, but he is a close friend – some kind of relative I believe – of the chairman. So there was no way that the matter was going to end up in a boardroom stoush, so it is ignored. And the ban on shaved heads throughout the chain is still there – unofficially. Maybe you might want to be shaved yourself.”
Kyle blushed to the roots of his unwanted hair.
“So no shaved heads? Is that Right?” Kyle changed the subject slightly.
“Normally I would say go right ahead, if you’ll pardon the pun. But the answer is ‘don’t rock the boat’. It would mean defying your manager. You would certainly win, but you personally would lose points with management for causing what many think would be an un-understandable battle. So keep your hair on.”
“Thanks for the advise, and the encouragement Mr Hogarth –“
“Paul, please. Your time will come, perhaps sooner than you think.”

So Kyle continued to have his not long hair styled every week by Jordon Shelldrake.
Jordon and Kyle had much in common. They were both born within weeks of each other. They both lived in the same street. They both went to the same school. They both liked the same sports, especially surfing. And they both wanted to be Bald. Only they knew their secret.
They had just began junior highschool together – well the day before that. Haircuts were due before the new school, so off to the Village Barber’s they went, owned by Jordon’s uncle. There was no discussion about style. Uncle Gus just gave them the mainstream cut for the school – CollegeCut – tightly trimmed, medium high taper, short on top, but long enough to be parted comfortably – a very neat and good looking haircut.
While Jordon was sweeping the floor – Kyle was reading a hairstyle magazine – a 20s something guy with long hair came into the shop and asked Uncle Gus if he did HeadShaves. Gus was reluctant but ushered the customer into the chair.
“Why do you want all that great hair shaved off?” asked Uncle Gus
“I’ve just been made manager of EggHead Computer Colony. We need an upmarket image and advertising campaign, so I figure that all the store staff should have real egg heads – no hair, Bald. And I’ve got to set the bench mark. So a BaldHead it is for me.”
And soon he was – totally Bald – and he liked it – a great deal.
The boys watched the entire operation with fascination.
“How about you bright looking young guys? Know anything about computers?” asked the 20s something guy as he stroked his now smooth skull with pleasure.
“Are you interested in part-time after-school jobs?”
“Sorry, we’re already sorted out,” advised Kyle.
“Well you know where to come when you’re ready.” He had another extensive survey of his new look shaved dome, nodded with approval and left the shop rubbing his BaldHead.
As they strolled away from Uncle Gus’s BarberShop they were pensive.
“If I wasn’t working with Uncle Gus, I’d probably go for that part-timer at EggHead,” stated Jordon.
“Yeah? But you’d have to shave your head,” advised Kyle.
“That’d be cool,” advised Jordon. “What about you? Would you shave your head?”
Kyle didn’t answer for a long moment.
“I dunno.”
“Well I would.”
“Don’t tell anyone. But that’s what I want more than just about anything. I really want to be Bald.”
The mates had found another ground. They had never mentioned it to each other before, and they kept the secret to themselves – that they were latent Baldies. They searched the net for ShaveHead sites, discussed shaving techniques, made Balderized pix of themselves on their computers, e-mailed other young Baldies – but the one thing they never did was to shave their heads. Even though their school would not permit shaved heads, they somehow knew the time was not right, an attitude which they could not explain.
As they finished school – Jason went on to become apprenticed to Uncle Gus in the BarberShop, and Kyle went onto management training at Groceries & Greens where he had started as a shelf packer with that first part time job.
With all their talk, and surfing HeadShave sites on the net, they eventually came to the question –
“Why Do We Want To Be BALD!?”
Was it an obsession? Was it a fetish? Was it a sickness?
They decided that it was none of these; since their lives were perfectly normal otherwise. Their conclusion was that it was an inbuilt natural instinct. Perhaps it was a link – a time warp link to the pharaohs of ancient Egypt – or from the future where hair disappeared from civilisation.
The date was set. They would go Bald on the first day on the new millennium – New Year’s Day 2001. But they didn’t.
Jason’s Uncle Gus told him that a ShaveHead Barber just wasn’t on. That was that. Jason kept his hair.
Kyle was in the same boat. The new haircut notice (later discovered to be false) had just been posted by the manager at G&G. Kyle kept his hair, must of it.
While Kyle had been so busy at the supermarket and with the management course, the arrangement had been for him to have his haircut by Jordon at about closing time on Friday afternoons. Uncle Gus always left at lunchtime on Fridays to go to his weekender cottage, even though that time could be quite busy. A friend of Jordon’s was the Saturday morning locum. Kyle would have preferred to be earlier to watch a few cuts, but at this stage, business came first.
On this particular day he was a little early. Before he was ushered into the chair a mutual friend came into the salon. Kier was the same age and had also gone to the same school. He also had a keen interest in his hair – a rogue cow’slick on the left side and close to the centre.
“G’day guys. Hey Kyle do you mind if I go first? I’m flying out tonight and I’ve got a million things to do. OK?”
Kier’s hair was fairly long and well groomed, but no matter what he (and Jordon) did, they could not completely control the CL. It was not one of those usual CLs which can look quite stylish if cut properly, but it had a total will of its own. The only solution so far was to let the front grow long and use the weight of the hair and gel to hold it down.
“Jordon, can’t you do something with this cow’slick. I really hate my hair being this long in front. I feel like shaving the whole bloody thing off.”
Kyle and Jordon exchanged glances.
“So, do you want a Baldie?” prompted Jordon.
“Nah – Tell you what though – what about a CrewCut. I’m going to Laos for six months for the firm. It’s pretty hot there – so, yeah!, a CrewCut – that’ll get rid of this mongrel cow’slick.”
And so it was – a #4 all over. This gave the opportunity to examine the rogue CL. Jordon pointed out that it was quite narrow – only about a centimeter – well less than a half an inch – yet that small patch of hair really had a mind of its own – even permanent wave was only a very temporary solution – and they had tried that – a couple of times. The ShortBack’n’Sides CrewCut suited Kier.
As Kier left the shop and Kyle ascended the chair for his weekly trim the conversation naturally turned to the CL, Kier’s CrewCut – and HeadShaves.
“We almost had a Baldie there mate. Man I’d like to shave my head.” Jordon looked in the mirror and brushed his hair back from his forehead. “Oh well. Maybe some day –“
“That CrewCut looked good on Kier – whatta’ ya reckon – should I go for it?” wondered Kyle.
“Of course you should. But don’t. You’ll be sorry you did. Just stick with what you’ve got until you can lose the lot.” Kyle reluctantly agreed.
Six months later – almost to the day, the scene was repeated. Kier came back into the shop – back from Laos. Jordon waved him into the chair. As he was capeing Kier Jordon did a double take.
“Wow! What’s happened to the CL? Your whole hairline looks different. Good, but different.” Kier’s front hair was smooth and neatly parted through the missing cow’slick. “It’s not shaved. Just not there. What happened?”
“Well it was like this. Remember I had a CrewCut when I was last here. When I got to Laos it just grew out, and the CL came back. Then a guy from the States arrived with a completely BaldHead, and I remembered that we were talking about shaving my hair when I had the CrewCut. But this fellow had no sign of hair on his head – and I mean completely smooth. I thought ‘this may be the way to go after all.’ I liked the smoothness and shine he had so I put aside my embarrassment and asked him how he got that look, ‘cause I was thinking about a HeadShave myself. He told me that his head wasn’t shaved, and then I thought ‘whoops – he’s naturally bald and I’ve insulted him.’ Then he told me that his head was LaZered so that all his hair had been killed off – permanently. I explained why I was thinking about a shaven head because of the cow’slick. Surprisingly he told me that he suffered from the same problem, and that he had a friend back home who was a LaZer technician. Between them they LaZered the front of his head, just enough to remove the terrible unruly cow’slick. And it worked, removing the stickey-uppy fringe area, and it looked very natural. Later, because the first treatment was so successful, he decided to have his whole head done, not on a whim, but because he had shaved his head once or twice to get rid on the cow’slick and had liked the hairless head. But each time he had let it grow again until he made up his mind to get rid of it all forever.
“Well the next week I had to go to his home town for a business meeting, and the thought struck me that I would go to visit his LaZer friend and see if he could fix my cow’slick. My hair was still fairly short, so it was easy for him to see what had to be removed. I didn’t hesitate.”
“But the hairline is different – not just the missing CL,” remarked Jordon.
“Right. I decided to go a little bit further back on the temples, more of a horseshoe curve. What do you think?”
“Looks great.” Kyle nodded agreement. I wouldn’t mind doing that myself. But there’s no way I could get to the States right now.”
“No problemo,” advised Kier. “They’ve got a salon now here in Sydney.”
Later while Jordon was cutting Kyle’s hair they talked about the LaZer treatment. Kyle had a moderately low hair line on the forehead in a straight curve, and was quite keen on the idea. Jordon agreed.
“But don’t do anything drastic yet mate. Tell you what. Why don’t I shave in the shape you want – not too much. If it doesn’t look any good, your hair is just long enough for a semi-CaesarCut.
“Do it!” And it was done. The new forehead shape really delighted Kyle, and Jordon was pleased with his handiwork.
“The problem is Kyle, you’re gonna’ have to shave your forehead every day. There’ll be a shadow at the end of the day. Just as well your have fair hair.”
“This has made up my mind Jordy. I’m going to have it LaZered. No not the whole head. Not yet. Just the fringe.”
“There’s a bit of a problem as far as I know. There has to be some hair for the LaZer to activate. You’re going to have to let the shaved section grow again.”
“Bummer. But how about the semi-Caesar to cover up the shaved bit – and I think we can take the curve back some. Agreed? Do that now and the Caesar. When the missing hair has grown enough I can have the LaZer. Not completely bald, but a little bit on the way.”
Two weeks later, Kyle had the front of his head LaZered back a half an inch and the curve double that – much more than he had first planned but he couldn’t resist it. Jordon was there to advise. The whole hair removal effect looked perfectly natural much to his delight. The smoothness on the forehead where once there had been hair was amazing. So that it was not too noticeable in the beginning be used the Caesar effect which he gradually moved aside over several weeks. If anyone noticed that there was something different he told them that his hair had been restyled. And no one was the wiser except Kyle and Jordon. In truth the new hair line looked much better than the natural.

Then opportunity knocked. The senior management degree course had just finished, the celebration dinner was to be on Friday night. Of course Kyle and his fiancé Joscyln would be there. But on the Friday afternoon he was summons to the phone in his tiny office at G&G. The HR director was on the line.
“Just checking to make sure you’ll be at the dinner tonight. Good. I didn’t think you’d miss it. I’m planning a little conspiracy and I’d like you to be part of it. No. Nothing illegal. You’ll find out on the night. It could be interesting. Your manager has been instructed to release you from work as from now and you are not permitted to go back into the store until 9 o’clock on Monday morning. Don’t ask. Just humour me. And your guests will be coming won’t they? Good. All part of the grand plan. By the way – this might be an imposition, but I know this interests you. Would you consider having your own HeadShaved for tonight’s dinner?”
“But what about the ban?”
“Let me worry about that – so what do you say – I know this is kind of sudden for you to think about it – instant bald –“
“Coming from you Mr Hogarth, I wouldn’t mind having a go at a HeadShave – if it’s important. So it’s alright now?”
“It’s alright. Not for everyone for the moment – just for you. Take my word. And please be half an hour early. Come and see me at the executive suite. You don’t have to do this, but it could help you and my plot if you are already bald tonight for the festivities.”

The phone call from the HR’s Paul Hogarth intrigued Kyle beyond measure but here was an opportunity too good to miss. It had virtually been an order. He reached for the phone.
“Strop your razor Jordon. I’m going bald!”
“It’ll be my pleasure. So what’s happened. Have you left G&G?”
“No. That’s the big news. The boss’s wife won a world cruise, so he’s taken six months off, and won’t be back at this branch.”
“So you’ve got a new boss who’ll let you shave your head. Do you know him?”
“Haven’t got a clue. It’s all confusing.”
“Come over at closing time as usual, and we’ll have to forget the beer though.”
“I can come earlier – don’t forget we’re all going to the dinner tonight.”
“That’s what I mean. No problem. Plenty of time to shower and shave – that word again. At least you won’t have to worry about drying and gelling your hair. Anyway Uncle Gus is on holidays. He should be calling later. You sure you’re allowed to shave your head?”
“I think I just been instructed to – I’m certain. Sure - now I can go bald.”
“What about me? Maybe I’ll convince Uncle Gus when he phones in.”
Just then the manager came into Kyle’s work station.
“Well it’s goodbye my boy. I’m off around the world. You’ve been a good lad ever since you were a shelf packer. I understand that for some extraordinary reason you have to vacate the store until 9 am Monday morning, Mystifying. So I suppose you’ll miss the small farewell celebration this afternoon. But no matter. It’s been a pleasure.”
Kyle left the G&G branch almost immediately. He took the opportunity to have lunch with Joscyln, and then go to the jeweller’s to choose wedding rings. She knew about his LaZer treatment and that eventually he would make himself completely bald. Not sure how she would like a hairless fiancé, she accepted that it was his decision. He had the afternoon off, and she did not, so it was a rare chance to go for a surf. That would fill in the time until his balding appointment.
At 5 o’clock he walked across the park from G&G to the Village BarberShop.
Jordon had closed a little early because he knew Kyle had the big graduation dinner on a couple of hours. Without further ado Kyle walked into the salon, closed the door behind him and sat immediately in Jordan’s BarberChair.
“Bald please,” he instructed his friend.
“Yeah! Yeah! Rub it in. I hate this. Maybe I won’t do it. No you’re not getting a HeadShave,” Jordon stated with sham petulance. “It’s not fair. You’ll be Bald and I won’t.”
“Don’t be a sore looser Jordy. Just make be Bald and be quick about it.”
Just then the phone on the wall rang. Jordon answered it. Kyle could see his reactions in the mirror, going from puzzled to extremely pleased. The conversation ended with
“Thanks Uncle Gus. Take your time.”
“Come on Jordy. Shave my head. I’ve been waiting years for this, and I don’t want any delay.”
“And so have I let me remind you. But Uncle Gus tells me that he’s taking more time off. So I’m still the boss. What would sir like – you were saying?”
“Now can you please shave my head?”
“I guess you won the race for a Baldie.”
“Say goodbye to hair – “
“ - Forever!”
“Baldies unite! So where do you want me to start – top? back? sides? How about I shave you an MPB to begin with?”
“Good idea. That’ll be fun. Then I see what I’ll look like if I ever go Bald when I get old. No. Hold on. I’ll never have hair after this – “
“But you never know. You might want to grow it for some reason down the track –“
“Not me. Man when I go Bald I really go Bald.”
“I’ll start at the back and leave the front till last. Here we go.”
And so it went. As the shearing and shaving progresses they discussed each action, feeling and sensation; the pleasure Jordon was experiencing shaving his friend’s head, and the ultimate pleasure Kyle was having clippers and razor all over his head for the first time – clipper from neck to crown – from sideburns to temple – all over the top – and what remained of the front: and then the hot lather and the razor sliding in deliberate strokes (long and short) until Kyle’s head had not a vestige of hair where once there had been.
Each made a critical survey of the finished Balding and concluded that it was a classic. Kyle’s head was not a perfect dome, but the small natural individual nodules at the back only added to the overall effect.
“I couldn’t ask for better than that. All these years I’ve been fantasying what I’d really look like – even with the digital Balderizing – this is way better than I imagined. Now I can feel it. I tell you Jordy, I’m not sorry. Thanks mate. Hope you can go Bald soon as well. You want it as much as I do, I know.”
“Sure do. Oh well, maybe Uncle Gus will give in. Say. Do you want some makeup on that pale noggin. You’ve got the dinner tonight?”
“Good idea. But noooo. I’ll just leave the scalp white. I like it. And everyone will be able to see that I’ve just had my HeadShaved. If you’ve got it – flaunt it!?”
“We’re looking forward to your graduation dinner. The cab is booked for 7.15. Don’t know though if they’ll take Baldies.”

The group arrived early as planned found their table and settled in. There were not many of Kyle’s acquaintances there yet to see his new look – but Paul Hogarth had planned just that. Kyle went off to find the HR Director, hoping that it would take only a few minutes. Not so.
“That certainly is one good looking BaldHead,” Hogarth complimented Kyle as they met in the executive suite. I was certainly right to ask you to be shaved. What do you think of it Kyle?”
“To tell you the truth Mr Hogarth, it’s what I wanted all along. Sure the juniors came to me about head shaving, but what they didn’t know was that I was intense about being a Baldie than they were.”
“Em. I thought as muck. OK now you’re Bald. So let’s put it to some use. Very few people know this, but one of the highlights of this evening will be a fashion parade of new G&G uniforms, and I want you to model the senior branch management formal dress. There it is. Dark green shirt with the G&G logo on the collar, worn with or without a new green and gold company tie very dark green trousers and a mid green blazer with the logo in the wrist of the left sleeve – designed by Trent Nathan. The parade will be before dinner is served, so I suggest you ring your fiancé on the mobile and tell them you will be joining them in plenty of time.”
The fashion parade was a huge success. There were gasps of surprise as Kyle appeared in the ultra-smart executive livery and the ultra-BaldHead. He received the loudest applause, and joined his party at their table. Dinner was delicious, but all were waiting for the graduation presentation. Paul Hogarth and the CEO walked onto the stage with a fanfare from the orchestra.
“Now, I’m not going to make a long speech except to say a fond thankyou to you all. As of now your new CEO is the gentlemen beside me – Mr Paul Hogarth.”
Loud applause.
“Thank you. I hope,” Paul began. “We have been planning this for some time and the CEO – the recently former CEO deserves a lot of credit. Everyone will receive the new management bulletin within the week, but rest assured that G&G will still be a marvelous place to spend your professional careers. So on with tonight’s graduation ceremony. As usual all the graduated will receive one of our famous certificates, but this year they will also be receiving a superb class ring.”
A picture of the ring (heavy embossed silver with an enamel inlay of the G&G logo) flashed up on the AV screen at the back of the stage. As each of the graduates was called his or her name and picture appeared on the screen, with their branch name and an illustration of the diploma and the ring.
Next was Kyle Morris. He got himself ready to ascend the stage.
But his name was not called. He went white. Had he not graduated?
Joscyln grasped his hand. His friends looked amazed. It was agony for them all, especially Kyle to sit through the presentation. At last it was finished. But it wasn’t.
“There is the last, but certainly not the least graduation prize to be awarded. Kyle Morris. Please come forward.”
Stunned Kyle blushed to the roots of his BaldHead and made his way to the stage in a kind of a daze, to heartfelt applause, with the follow spotlight bouncing off his newly shaved white head. Paul Hogarth shook his hand.
“I see you are still wearing the senior management uniform. No. Don’t be embarrassed. It really is appropriate. Ladies and gentlemen Kyle Morris graduated first in his class by a considerable margin. And it is my pleasure to present Kyle with a GOLD graduation ring.”
Hogarth handed Kyle his ring and diploma. Loud and genuine applause.
“But wait. There’s more.” Laughter. “Kyle has been appointed as manager of his home branch, our biggest branch, as from 9am Monday.” More loud applause. He handed Kyle his letter of appointment. “His confusion is genuine. He knew none of this.” Kyle nodded agreement with a huge grin. Until now he had no chance to speak. He opened his mouth. “And still more,” Paul Hogarth interjected. Confused laughter. “We now have a vacancy on the board and Kyle has been appointed to that chair to represent all the young people of our wonderful organization.”
Thunderous applause.
Taking a huge gulp of air Kyle launched into his completely ad-lib acceptance speech.
“One last thing Kyle,” Paul Hogarth continued. “I’m sure everyone is wondering about your complete lack of hair.” Kyle gleefully rubbed his bare noggin. “No I’m not going to put you on a spot. It was me who asked Kyle to shave his head as a symbol of our new regime. True he had been championing the cause of young men at G&G to be allowed HeadShaves. And now they are. Not only will the new uniforms come into effect on Monday, but so also will new grooming rules. Some easier – some stricter. Now Kyle is our first official Baldie.”
Applause.

On Monday morning Kyle was in Jordon’s BarberShop for a fresh HeadShave to start his new career. After this he would shave himself. To his amazement Jordon was standing in front of his mirror with a cut-throat razor in his hand stroking his own head in the last sages of shaving off all his hair.
“You couldn’t stand me being Bald, and not you, could you? What’s Uncle Gus going to say?”
“That’s the thing,” Jordon replied as he toweled the last smear of soap off his denuded scalp. “Uncle Gus rang last night. You’ll never believe it. He and Auntie Kay have decided to buy a retirement villa they found on the north coast. He’s not coming back to the shop and asked me if I wanted to buy the business for a family price.”
“So what are you going to do? Buy the place?”
“Well yes. I just don’t believe this. Karen and I were talking about something like this over the last couple of weeks. We decided to look around for a BarberShop of my own, bigger than this with manicure, piercing, colouring, transfer tattoos – that sort of thing. But this has been handed to me on a platter – the price I can’t refuse.”
“Mate that’s fantastic news. But is this shop big enough for all the other stuff?”
“Next door has just become vacant. And it can be interconnecting.”
“I couldn’t be more happy for you. No. Really. Finished with your head? Hey it looks fantastic. Really. Mate we don’t have to hide it any longer. We can both be Bald and enjoy it. Talk about a coincidence. Brothers in Bald! OK. Just smooth my scalp before I move into the big office at my very own G&G – well, almost my own.”
“Congratulations again.” Jordon shaved Kyle completely hairless.
“I guess you’re going to shave your head every day mate?” asked Jordon as he plied his razor over Kyle’s scalp.
“Yes. For awhile.”
“What. You mean you’re going to let it grow?” the newly Balded Barber Jordon was amazed.
“No way! You know I’m a committed Baldie. I’ve decided to have the whole head LaZered, just like the forehead. What about you. Are you staying Bald now that you had your first shave?”
“Of course. But don’t forget I’m a Barber. I’ll shave with a razor every day. That’s my thing. That’s what I do. Maybe I’ll get a small LaZer unit with the shop extensions. I could do your head.

As Kyle walked into the huge supermarket all the staff formed an applauding corridor. They had heard rumours of his appointment on the grape vine as early as last week. But now it was certain – and well approved. But the Baldness was quite a surprise. As he thanked his staff he stroked his smooth dome. He whispered to his secretary who disappeared into the staff room, and came back with the hairstyle notice. From a large stiff envelope Kyle stuck a new poster over the old. As he revealed the new message the staff exploded into laughter.
“HEAD SHAVES now Permitted!”

---