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My First Butch Pays a Bonanza by Manny
I cannot begin to describe the anxiety I felt the following morning, putting on my three piece suit and getting ready for work. I ran to the mirror twenty times to see how I looked with my butch and business attire. I felt naked without my power coif.
I decided to get to work early -- try to get into my office before anyone could see me. I'd feel better sitting behind my huge desk and name plate to reinforce my position of authority when people saw the new haircut for the first time. Feeling vulnerable made me feel nervous and a bit excited all at once.
The first glitch came right at the front door. "I'm sorry, this entrance is for employees only, the guard barked."
I held up my badge and said, "I am an employee."
The guard's face covered with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, sir. I didn't recognize you with your new haircut." As I walked past I heard the two guards snicker. Then, once I was out of site, I heard them let go with loud peels of laughter.
I ducked into a bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was gone! There was no changing that. I wondered how Pete would fare with his hairless makeover. At least I still had a nice pelt to feel.
The next encounter happened in the bathroom. One of my deputies walked in, took one look at me and gasped, "What happened to your hair!!"
I paused momentarily. "My neighbor cut it all off with a set of clippers in his kitchen," I said in a forced matter-of-fact tone.
"I never knew you to be the amateur haircut type guy, boss," he said with a tinge of amusement.
I looked in the mirror and mused, "I like it like this, don't you? In fact, you'd look good with a butch too." I felt a little bit more confident in the chat, putting him on the defensive.
The fellow gulped. "I got my share of baldy cuts growing up. No thanks!"
As I left the bathroom, I thought I heard him chuckling to himself.
I hustled to my office and found a note on my desk -- 'Stop by my office ASAP!' I recognized the hand writing of my big boss. My stomach lurched. Just then, the phone rang with the number indicating it was him on the line. It was best to get it over with right away....
I tapped on his door as I gingerly pushed it open. "You wanted to see me," I said meekly.
He looked up from his desk. His eyes bulged. "What the hell!"
"What did you want to see me about?" I asked, ignoring his outburst.
"Well, I wanted to see you about the Johnson and Sons account. I've decided to let you handle it. But what happened to your hair?!" he demanded.
"I got a butch," I said matter of fact. "I've been working hard of late, putting in long hours....see, I'm in early today....and I just decided to have the mop cut way back so that I could streamline my day and save some time."
"Well, I'll be," the boss said, rocking back in his chair, taking in the sight and getting a good chuckle. "I never would have thought you'd do something like that. You were always so fussy about your appearance."
"This is neat and tidy, isn't it?" I pressed.
"I guess so, but it's a bit of a mismatch with that business suit," he opined.
"I don't think so. I feel quite confident about this new look," I insisted, actually beginning to feel it.
"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug. "Now, let me show you these account numbers......"
I felt a huge wave of relief as I walked out of his office. I did it! I pulled off the butch!
As I walked back to my office I ran across one of the interns who sported a huge mop of dark curls that nearly doubled the size of his head and flopped down liberally in front of his eyes much of the time. "Tony, good morning," I said curtly. "If you have a few minutes, I'd like to see you in my office."
He trotted after me and I motioned for him to close the door behind him. "I understand you're interested in a permanent job in the office," I said as I rubbed my hands up against the grain of my stubble.
"Yes, sir. That's correct. I like this office and the work," he said eagerly. It was hard for him to stop staring at my butch.
"What are you looking at?" I asked innocently.
"Nothing really," he said, with a gulp.
"If you can't be honest with me, I don't think I can have you on my team as a permanent member," I said curtly. "Okay, that's it. Have a nice day." I stood to indicate his time with me was over.
Tony seemed a bit confused and shaken. He stood but didn't turn to leave. "I'm sorry, sir. It was your new haircut," he admitted sheepishly.
"You like it? It's a classic butch -- an eighth of an inch all over. Tidy and practical," I said confidently. "My neighbor buzzed me down in his kitchen -- a quick, cheap, attractive haircut. Don't you think?"
"Sure thing, looks great," he replied with a strained voice that questioned his credulity.
"Oh, so you liked it?" I said, smiling. "Glad to hear that. If you really liked it, as you just said, you can ask your barber for a #3 all over and you'll end up with a tidy butch just like mine."
"Uh, well, I play in a band in the evenings, sir," he said apologetically.
"I suppose your gigs pay well. Good luck with your search for a day job," I said as I ushered poor Tony out.
"What was the length you mentioned," he asked, reluctant to move away from my door.
"Any length butch will be looked on favorably," I assured him. "If I were you, I'd ask for a #2 or #3 all over. The barber will know what you're talking about and all of us will be happy to be able to look you in the eye instead of through that mop."
The hardest part of the day was dealing with my rival, the head of a parallel office. He barged into my office in the early afternoon. "I just heard the most amazing thing at lunch and I've come to see it. And here he is....a freak from the 'believe it or not' show! Oh my goodness, it's even worse than the secretaries described it. They were all giggling and saying how odd you looked. Only one was a little teary-eyed saying how handsome you used to be with your lovely hair. But you got butched! Was it a punishment of some sort?"
I thought the motor mouth would never stop. "Well, have you had your fun? Is there anything else you want to say?" I asked impassively.
The jerk paused and I ended the conversation by stating, somewhat falsely, "Our boss liked it -- was pleased with my new tidy, practical look. And, he handed me the Johnson and Sons account -- remember, the one you had been angling for? So, I'm quite busy now, if you'll excuse me....oh, and close the door on your way out." The bewildered look on his face as he exited my office was priceless.
Just then I got a text on my phone from Pete. "Howz ur day going? Hang tough, buddy."
I quickly wrote back, "Ur advice has been getting me thru the day - can't wait to exchange stories with you over beer this evening." He sent me back a winking emoticon.
I needed a friendly face and a break from the drama, so I sought out my best friend at work. I poked my head into his office, "Hey, pal, it's me. You might not recognize me without the pretty boy look."
He looked up from his computer and grinned, "I heard about your big makeover. What possessed you?!"
"Does it look that bad?" I asked, feeling a bit hurt.
"Turn around," he said. "Hmmmm, I just can't believe you got a butch! It's okay, sort of non-descript. Not much skill required to execute a simple buzzcut."
"I kind of like the contrast of the sharp profession business suit and the no-nonsense clipped head. My neighbor buzzed it off -- in his kitchen. It was a hoot, sitting there, watching all that hair come off. And the feel....here, rub your hand up there!" I leaned over so he could get an easy rub.
My pal obliged. "Yep, that does feel great. Hey, if you like the butch, keep it!"
"I think I'm going to. Strangely, I feel a lot bolder and more confident. Mind you, though, I was a nervous wreck coming in here this morning. I've put up with a lot of ridicule and unwanted stares...."
"Give 'em a break, buddy. It's not every day that one of the head honchos shows up with a butch!" he said. He got a twinkle in his eye and added, "If you're feeling so confident, are you going to finally ask the old man for that raise you keep moaning about."
"Well, I've certainly earned it. And he gave me the Johnson and Sons account this morning. That's going to mean a hell of a lot more work for the next several years...." As I was talking I decided to take immediate action. I rubbed my bristles for good luck and announced, "You know, I'm going to march down there right now and tell him what I think my salary should be!"
I strode confidently down the hall and into the boss' executive suite. His secretary asked if I had an appointment, and then added, "By the way, I like your new haircut. My boyfriend sports a butch too. I love to feel it when it's been freshly clipped."
"No, I don't have an appointment, but I'm certain he will see me," I replied. "And thanks for the compliment. I'm happy with my new haircut too!"
I walked into the huge office and cleared my throat. "Excuse the interruption, boss. I've reviewed the file you gave me this morning and already have a plan for maximizing my new account. I'm certain I can get another 12% profit from Johnson and Sons, meaning a net gain of $50 million for our operation over the three-year period."
"That's fantastic!" he said with a huge smile.
"But, it'll involve a hell of a lot more work for me. And, I'll need a new special assistant. I had in mind bringing that intern, Tony Mangioni, on as a new employee."
"That kid with the 'fro gone wild?" he sputtered.
"He's a keen analyst. And as to the hair, well, he was admiring my new butch this morning and even asked for some specific instructions to give his barber. I think he'd do anything to get a permanent job."
"That kid has a barber?! I doubt it! Well, seems like your butch is shaking up this place. It's all I heard people talking about when I went to went into the lounge to get some coffee. If the Good Lord hadn't already taken care of my hair, leaving me with no options, I think I'd go for a butch too. I'll be glad to see that kid buzzed so I can look him in the eye," he laughed. "It's like a big bush of hair moving through the halls, as is."
"So you approve Tony coming on board. Great! And, um, about my salary. I want....that is, I'd like a 50% raise. I know it sounds like a lot, but I've been underpaid for the past five years, and I'm going to rake in a bonanza for the company with Johnson and Sons."
"Fifty percent!" he gasped, as his face hardened. "That's a whopper of a raise. And your colleagues would certainly squeal if they ever found out. How about a 25% raise. That's probably what you had in mind anyways when you asked for 50%. Ha! I know the strategy well and have used it myself once or twice. Nice going...." he chuckled. "I'll let payroll know."
I stood my ground firmly. "I said 50% and I meant 50%. sir! I told you our company will make $50 million and I mean it will make $50 million -- not $25 million. I've had an offer for a position from our competitor, Reynolds. It would be a lateral move, but the salary is on par with industry standards. Should I put in my notice with you, sir? Or will it be a 50% raise?" I asked in a calm, cool voice.
His face blanched, then grimaced. After a moment, he broke into a wide smile. "I will notify payroll of the 50% raise." He stood and shook my hand warmly. "Congratulations." Then, spontaneously, he rubbed his hand quickly across the bristled top. "This new haircut certainly has made you man up! I've been thinking about grooming a successor, but had doubts about whether you were steely enough for my job..... Now I know who to choose, given this new determination in you."
I was on cloud 9, needless to say as I left the executive suite. My butch had birthed a bonanza! I couldn't wait to tell Pete. I sent him a text as I walked through the hall. "I just got a whopping pay raise!"
As I approached my office I saw the bush of hair lurking around outside. "Do you have a minute?" Tony asked. Once inside he sheepishly asked, "I thought I might use the same barber that gave you your new haircut. I want to make sure it's totally right -- just the way you want it cut."
"Hold on, Tony!" I exclaimed, "Have a seat. Let's be clear about this. I hope I didn't give you the wrong impression....that you'd only be considered for the job if you cut your hair. Obviously, you're quite fond of these curls. They can't be easy to put up with!" I commented as I boldly grasped a handful of the dense, but soft dark locks in my hand and tugged gently. "You've got the band to think about....."
"The band is crap!" Tony exclaimed. "And it's time for me to shed the curls. I've been thinking about it ever since we talked this morning. The day would eventually come when I'd get the big chop, and now is the time. I've known that for a long time. I want a bold, new look. And I want to work for you. I admire your talents....and, most of all, I admire your courage. All I want from you now is the address of your barber."
"Well, my neighbor and I exchanged clipper cuts yesterday in the kitchen. It's really the only way to get a butch. It adds to the boldness of the statement -- the amateur clip job, no talent needed."
"So, you could be my private barber too?" Tony stammered with a look of anticipation on his handsome face.
"It would be my pleasure," I said, as I plunged my fingers into this curls. "All of this stripped down tight. I'd give you a #2 -- a nice, dark covering of quarter inch stubble."
"After work? Today? Can I come!" he asked, almost begging.
"Sure -- I'll write down my address and see you at 7:00 pm. You'll look so sweet when all these curls have hit the cape and you've been clipped down to a nice, tight butch!"
Pete and my synchronized arrivals enabled us to share notes at once. "You look fantastic with your executive suit and tight butch!" he called out to me as he crossed the lawn.
"Had did your pals like the induction cut?" I asked eagerly.
"They howled!! And guess what I told them?! That I was going to come in tomorrow morning with a lather shaved head -- chrome dome! A big shiny bald head." He let out a laugh, "Of course, I'm not going to do that....but it's fun letting them think I'll be sporting a Yul Brenner look in the morning!"
I told Pete all about my unforgettable day, and he was so happy that the butch he gave me had yielded a bonanza -- including a new recruit who I'd induct into the club myself. I waited in the driveway for Pete to run in and get me the clipper set.
I hadn't been inside the house for 15 minutes when I heard a knock at the kitchen door. I saw the profile of a huge 'fro in the window. Tony was early!
I opened the door and saw the young man smiling sheepishly. "Didn't take as long to get here as I thought it would," he mumbled.
"Either that, or you can't wait to feel the clippers moving across the top of your scalp and watching all of this tumble off," I saw as I grasped playfully at his 'fro. I tugged a lock away from the scull and was surprised that it measured over a foot in length once the curls were stretched out. "Ready for your induction cut?"
"Induction?!" he gasped. "I thought I was getting a butch."
I motioned for him to sit down in the kitchen chair. "It'll grown into a butch....but I decided to clip you down to the wood, being you're a new recruit." He allowed me to put the cape around him without any protest. There was a bit of nervous tension in the air -- a positive amount. Tension about the haircut and interpersonal tension.
I held the machine with it's chattering metal teeth right in front of Tony's face. "Ready to shed the mop?!"
"Ready!" he reply with a nervous smile.
The clippers pushed their way effortlessly into the huge bush of hair. They moved further and further back, disappearing under the thick layer of curly wool. Finally I pull off a mass of tangled curls that did not want to fall from their companions on their own accord. I held the fist full of shorn curls in front of Tony's face and his eyes bulged. The clipped strip contrasted dramatically with the curly environs.
A second drive with the clippers doubled the clipped strip. This time the clumps of curls fell away without a struggle. Tony reached out from under the cape and grasped a wad of cut curls. "I've had this huge 'fro for the past ten years! No one is going to recognize me...."
"You look so sweet and innocent, Tony," I said tenderly.
He blushed and looked at me with appreciation. "I was thinking that maybe we, I mean, if you're not, um....." His voice trailed off.
I shoved his head down so that he could watch his cock reek havoc with the pile of shorn hair on his lap. Then I tackled the bush in back, quickly clipping it down to stubble. Over and over the clippers ran across his scalp, which was now 90% shorn. Only a bit of touch up around the ears was left. He looked marvelously streamlined; a simple, handsome manliness.
I led him to the bathroom, and he beamed at my handiwork. I rubbed his shorn head. "You're the best barber I've ever had," Tony gushed.
"And you'll be the best special assistant I'll ever have. Maybe we ought to discuss ideas of how we might stimulate business this evening...." I suggested.
"All night long, if that's what it takes," replied the clipped recruit cheefully.