MPB, thanks to the wife by Ken

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My hair was getting long and my wife kept at me to get it cut. Short haircuts were much more popular now and she thought I'd look good in one. One morning, when I was sleeping in the recliner, she and her friend thought they'd have some fun. I was pretty out of it and her friend brought over a battery operated beard groomer. They set it on a longer setting, maybe a half inch, and tried to cut my hair when I was asleep. They didn't get far when I woke up.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

They were giggling and there was a clump of hair on my chest. I reached up and felt my head. They cut a 4 inch stripe up my forehead near the top of my head. I ran to the mirror. Right down the center was a short bit of hair, two inches wide.

"Now, maybe you'll get a short haircut."

"You're kidding me, right?" I yelled.

"Oh, honey, it's just hair. If you don't like it, it'll grow back."

"You'll look good with a short haircut," her friend Cindy chimed in.

"I can't believe you did this to me."

"Oh, get over it. Just get it cut, you'll probably like it." Cindy agreed. "Well, look, we've got to get to work, so you can finish it with these clippers or go get it done some place else. Either way, we're meeting Cindy and her husband for dinner at Olive Garden after work. Meet us there and you can show off your new haircut." They left for work and handed me the clippers as they left.

I couldn't believe she did this. But looking at it in the mirror, I really had no choice, but I wasn't going to do this myself. So I put on a light jacket and headed out with a baseball hat on. I went to Supercuts and they had just opened but there were two people waiting already. As I sat there and fumed mover what my wife did, I had a thought. I thought through it some and while I was waiting I googled a few businesses and made a quick call to see if I could get it done. When it was my turn, I took a seat and the young lady put a cape around me.

"You need to take your hat off," she smiled.

I did and she could see the part where my wife had cut it. "My wife did this when I was sleeping. Thought it was funny."

"Wow, she got you good," she said.

"Any way of fixing it? I ask knowing the answer is probably no."

"You're right, except to go short all over. If she did the sides, we could hide it, but the top limits the options."

"Well, I have an idea. Can you cut the top all that length, like if I had lost my hair. Leave a fringe and just cut the rest about a half inch long."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am. This is just the first step."

She got her clippers and set them to half inch. Then she started to cut away the hair on the top. I watched as she carefully left me with just a fringe. Then she worked on the bits on the side. If it wasn't for the half inch hair, I'd look like I lost my hair. When she was done, she dusted off the hair. "Do you want me to trim the sides at all?"

"No, leave them for now." My hair was pretty long and it looked kind of silly. But I'd fix that soon enough. I paid her, gave her a nice tip and left for my next appointment. I stopped in front of a waxing salon. I went in and it wasn't very busy at all.

"Hi, can I help you," the lady behind the front desk asked.

"Yes, I called a little while ago, to get my hairline waxed."

"Oh, yes, You talked with Wanda. She's ready for you."

She took me back and introduced me to Wanda. "Have a seat," she said. "You're sure you want to do this? It might hurt some."

"I'm positive. Never so sure of anything."

"Cool, okay let's get started." She started placing small amounts of black wax on the top of my head. She pulled a small stripe off and it didn't hurt all that much. She showed me the piece of wax and it was full of short black hairs. She kept placing wax on and pulling it off. I was sitting with the mirror to my back so I couldn't see how it was going. The constant pulling out of hair was getting a bit tiring and I began to develop a head ache. "No, you want me to make it look like you've lost your hair, right? Because the way the girl who cut your hair did it, it's not quite even. I'll have to go a bit lower on the sides than she took it to make it look even. Is that okay?"

"Whatever you need to do, just do it."

"You got it. You know we've had quite a few guys in here to get their head waxed that we've put it in our list of services."

I could feel her wax the hair at the side of my head and a bit at the front, taking it back closer to my ears. Finally she was done. She did about 10 minutes of plucking with tweezers in a few spot.

"Okay, I'm done. Ready?"

"Ready or not, right?"

She laughed. "Yep."

I turned around and looked at myself in the mirror. I was bald on top, completely bald. The fringe was almost 3 inches on the sides, and of course, my longish hair was still over my ears.

"You're going to have to get the rest of it cut. 'Cause that long hair doesn't look great with just a fringe."

"I know. Going to get it done right now." I thanked her, paid her with a very generous tip and left for Supercuts again. I went back to the same place. I walked in, gave the lady my name and told her I wanted the girl I had this morning. She called my name and I got up to walk back. When she saw me she was surprised, to say the least.

"What did you do?"

"I had it waxed. Now I'm bald on top, so I need to do something with the fringe."

"Wow, that's really something. How do you want it cut?"

"Well, I don't suppose there's enough length for a combover, is there?"

"Really? A combover?"

"Yes, just do the best you can."

"I'll try best I can." She sprayed the hair with some water and tried to comb it over the bald spot. The hair was long enough that it reached to the other side. It was clear it was a combover, but that was fine with me. She trimmed the rest of the hair up around my ears. She put some hair gel in the combover hair so it would stay. When she was done, I really didn't like and told her so.

"I'm glad you don't like it. Combovers are terrible. Trim it like the rest?"

"Yes." She use scissors and a comb to cut the rest of the fringe so it looked normal. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I have to admit, I liked what I saw. I looked more mature somehow. I rubbed the bald spot and couldn't feel any hair at all. It was smooth as could be. I paid and went home. I took a fresh shower and got dressed for dinner. I stopped at a store and bought a Remington Epilator. It was twice the price of other models but in the reviews I saw, it did the best job. I use it to keep the hair on top bald.

I got to Olive Garden early to wait for my wife and her friend. Every time I saw my reflection, I admired how well it looked. I took a seat and saw my wife and her friends come through the door. They didn't even notice me sitting there. They put a name in and got one of those disks. I heard my wife say she thought I'd be here by now. So I spoke up.

"I am here, been waiting for you."

She turned around and looked at me. "What?"

I got up. "What? I got my hair cut. How do you like it?"

"You're bald? What happened?"

"You just said it. I'm bald. Here, feel." I took her hand and put it to the top of my head. "See how smooth it is?" She pulled her hand away. "You said I'd look good with short hair, and you're right. I love it!!"

She was still trying to find words. "What did you do?"

"I had it waxed on the top. Kept the fringe. Got to say, I love it."

"Will it grow back?"

"Don't know, but we'll see." I didn't tell her about the epilator and wasn't planning on telling her. I'd just keep using it until hopefully it wouldn't grow back. But we'd see.

Our friends were a bit stunned, but Cindy liked it. "You look good bald. You going to shave the rest of it?"

"No," I said, "I like the fringe."

So my haircut dominated dinner conversation. The main concern was what if my hair didn't grow back? My response was that it was just hair.

I waited a few days before using the epilator and used it every other day. It worked well. I've been using it every two days for the past year and there seems to be less hair growing. My wife got used to it, and even got to like the look, which is good, because there was no way I was going to let it grow back.

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