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A Return To The Flat-Top by Flat4Ever


A Return To The Flat-Top

I have just retired from the U.S. Army a few months ago. I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have had to serve my country and those in other countries that were not strong enough to fight for themselves. One of the great things about the military life is the opportunity to live across our great nation, and in Germany, Korea, Kuwait, Iraq, and some other places that I'd like to forget. Another great thing was being able to try out new barbershops each place I went.

There is a saying from the old school Army: "A good Soldier never needs a haircut.” And for 20+ years I never needed a haircut. For the majority of my career I wore a high and tight horseshoe flattop, which was cut every 7-10 days to keep it looking as sharp as possible. It was surprising though, that even in military towns it was very difficult at times to find a barber who really knew how to cut a flattop. When I consistently got jacked up haircuts, and could not find a decent barber to save my life, I gave up in frustration and shaved my head bald.

Now don't get me wrong, I have loved the slick, no-fuss look. I love the feel of my freshly shaved head on a cold pillowcase and a cool rain beading off my scalp, but after I retired my wife encouraged me to try something different and grow my hair out some. I agreed with her knowing that if I hated it that I could easily get it cut again.

I was doing all right with longer hair, well longer by my standards. By this time my hair had grown out to about 2.5-3 inches on top with a part on the left and the sides and back in a gradual taper. It looked good but in reality I hated it. My wife and I had just settled into our retirement home in a community where we had never lived, thus I was in need of a barbershop.

My neighbor is a retired Command Sergeant Major from the Vietnam era and has the best-looking flattop that I have ever seen in my life. He told me he was heading out to the shop on Monday morning to get his flattop "tuned up” as he called it, and invited me to go along with him. This was on a Friday afternoon and I could not wait for Monday to come because I was so ready to get rid of the mess I had on my head and get something sharp again.

Monday came and the Sergeant Major and I headed out. It was about a 30-minute ride out into the boonies to a one-chair shop. It was a great time for us to get a chance to know each other a little better. As it turned out, he and I served in many of the same units. Before I knew it we were at a run down looking shop about a half mile down a dirt road behind a farmhouse.

I was genuinely surprised when we entered Bond's Barbershop. Bond is a retired Soldier with an almost identical background to mine. He had grown up with a dad that was a barber and learned a lot from him before entering the service. He had always enjoyed cutting hair and had been really good at it but did not want to make a career of it. The shop was not open to the public, but was a place for him and his friends to hang out, and something to keep him busy in his retired years. His barbershop was his sanctuary away from the family. (Don't call it a Man Cave or he will throw you out for some reason). It was very nicely decorated. Very rustic and modern all at the same time. There were three flat screen televisions for keeping up with multiple SEC football games on Saturdays, a couple of leather couches, and an antique barber chair that he had fully restored. I was already loving the place.

Bond made me feel immediately welcome and insisted I get comfortable while he tidied up the Sergeant Major. He barely had any stubble on the sides of his head, so Bond make quick work of that with a small pair of clippers. Then he took his time getting the hair to stand at perfect attention before making multiple passes at it taking it shorter and shorter every time until he got to the point that he could go no shorter. All the while the three of us shared our experiences and disappointments from our time in the Army. He finished the Sergeant Major up with a hot towel shave with a straight razor.

"Bond, I have to tell you, that is by far the best flattop I have ever seen. From any barber.” He replied, "Well I'm glad you think so Kent, because it is your turn in my chair.” I got up from the couch and made my way into Bond's barber chair. He wrapped the tissue around my neck and then the cape. "So, how do you want your hair cut today?” Before I could get a word out, he let out a loud laugh "I'm s**tting you. My shop. My rules. You will get the cut I want to get you. Do you have any problems with that?” "Not at all Bond. Give me your best.”

He spent the next three or four minutes combing my hair and studying my head like an artist would before carving into a block of marble. He smiled and picked up his clippers, removed the guard and promptly sheared the hair from the sides and back of my head and made sure it all ended up on the cape in my lap. I did not realize that I had so much hair, and he was not even close to being done, as most of the hair was on the top of my head. Bond then attached the #4 guard to the clippers and made few quick passes over the top adding more hair to the collection in my lap.

Bond took the same care in getting my hair to stand at attention before he began the flattening process. I have to say that this was the most relaxed I had been in years. It felt good to be among military friends and to not have any expectations put upon me at all. Bond began his slow and methodical passes over the top of my head. He would make two or three passes then take his time brushing away the excess and inspecting what remained from every angle. The attack continued with the amount of hair on my head decreasing as it grew it my lap. Pass. Clear. Attack. Pass. Clear. Attack until I felt the bare clipper pressed into the scalp as he ran down the center of my head.

As I have mentioned, I am no stranger to the flattop. So as Bond wrapped my head with a hot towel, I was not surprised. The hot towel was followed by pre-shave oil, and then another hot towel, then shaving cream and then another hot towel. The thing that was new to me was Bond running the shaving cream all the way down the middle of my head. Apparently my head is flatter than any barber has ever let on and Bond shaved a wide horseshoe on me with his straight razor and slicked up the sides and back. I thought he was almost done when he lathered me up again shaved against the grain until my scalp was perfectly smooth.

After he was finished, Bond asked me how I would have had him cut my hair, and I simply pointed at my head. When I tried to pay Bond, he told me that he never takes from his friends. As I inspected his work, I said, "I have to correct what I said earlier. Sorry Sergeant Major, but this is now the best flattop I have ever seen.” Bond smiled as he went to the refrigerator and retrieved three beers. With this, I knew that I was home.




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