The Roy G. Biv Boys by CleanCut

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I'm not a stuffy person or at least I didn't think I was. It's just being 15 with two parents who work all the time doesn't leave you much time to develop your own personality. I was too busy staying out of the way and trying not to be much of a bother. I didn't play any sports or other extracurricular that required after school pickups that would stress out my parents. I mostly just played video games, did my homework and went to bed at a reasonable hour. I know explaining it like that does make me seem pathetic but I guess I kinda was. I didn't really want to stand out much since we moved here two years ago, and I just kinda sailed under the radar. With my long brown hair that covered the upper half of eyes and my baggy clothes, no one looked twice and I was happy with that. I knew I was gay and maybe more adventurous than I looked, but again I didn't want to make my parents anxious; both their careers were taking off. Who cares if one kid, their only kid, got a little neglected. I didn't like having eyes on me anyway.

So the day they gave me a key to the house, I didn't really know what to say. Our house which was only a few miles away from my high school was not a bad walk, my only form of exercise really. My grandma was usually there to let me in, we'd listen to old 80's glam rock like queen, Bowie, Elton and Prince and make dinner. She was the only family member that knew I was gay, before i even knew, and couldn't care less. I loved her. Then she'd leave and I'd get the house to myself. But now grandma wouldn't be coming over everyday because she was getting older and busy with her quilting company, so I'd have my evenings to myself now. It was like living alone, I'd come home let myself in, cook whatever I wanted, watch whatever I wanted. Sometimes my parents were gone for weeks at a time, mostly I saw them right before I went to bed. Like ships in the night. I had no idea what to do with this new found freedom.

About a month goes by of this behavior, and I've finally seen every channel of cable and I mean every single cable channel: all 99. I'm lying on the couch drool hanging out of my mouth, blowing hair out of my eyes when I finally get cabin fever and burst onto the doorstep for fresh air. Gasping like some insane asylum prisoner seeing the sky for the first time in ten years. And as I'm gasping, sputtering for air, re-acclimating with the earth's atmosphere again: this guy rides by on a skateboard. I say ride but it was more of a glide; he wasn't pumping the board at all just effortlessly gliding like his skateboard was pulled by an invisible thread. This guy was cool, and I mean cold blooded. Black leather high top vans, black baggy shorts with chains on it, a tight fitting tank top with words in some hard metal band text I couldn't even read, a nose ring and his hair. Omg his hair, it was maybe the only thing that didn't match but was still bad*ss. His head was completely shaved and I mean shining except for a bright orange peach colored Mohawk that was expertly styled into cone spikes about 6 inches tall. I'd never seen anything like him before. Made me wonder how much the world had changed while I was trapped inside. He had skull candy headphones on and just kept rolling somehow with that perfectly lax skater slouch.

He skated by my house and looked at the wheezing kid on the stoop, smirked and kept going. I don't know what possessed me but as he passed my stoop, I stumbled down my yard and just kinda followed him in this zombie walk. Just about 15 feet behind him for like a mile. He didn't say anything the whole time or even look back. I don't think he even pumped his skateboard once. Convinced this boy is magic I just followed his jangling pants and kept staring at the orange cones on his head. They looked almost plastic, shiny as they shot defiantly into the sky. He was like one of my video game characters come to life.

Before I know it we're at one of the parks a mile or so from my house. The mystery skater boy enters the large skate park in the middle of it. I follow him but then stop myself at the entrance, too afraid to enter the fenced in park full of half pipes, bowls, rails and some more edgy looking teens. My orange crowned guide is now almost on the other end of the skate park meeting up with a group of other high-school boys. They're like a complete set to the boy I had followed, each one clad in cool dark clothes, skinny jeans, tanks, rocker t's, baggy skater shorts, rocking skating shoes and at least one piercing. But the thing that really made these boys stand out from the rest of the skateboard dregs were their hair. Their crowns! Freaking masterpieces of punk! Mohawk, Mohawk, Mohawk, Mohawk, Mohawk and a Mohawk! Six Mohawks one every color of the rainbow, blood red, peach orange, neon yellow, electric blue, seafoam green, and royal purple. Each hawk was perfectly cut, and shined on the sides looking like the hair was just implanted on their heads. I'm ogling at how amazing it is to see not only one of these crazy hair crowns but five more when I see the orange haired kid look right at me. And all the other boys turn their reaction on me too. I blush and almost immediately panic about to leave but he beckons with one hand to come over. And like that magic skateboard, my legs moved on their own.

I'm sheepishly and slowly trying to figure out my way across the park, feeling a little out of place in my baggy jeans, white t-shirt and gym sneakers. Not to mention my hair is sweaty from the walk over and I'm constantly wiping the sweaty strands out of my face. I finally get to them and I'm almost about to explode with the amount of human interaction suddenly thrust upon me. This has been the most people I've seen in weeks. The cool orange kid just smiles down at me and gestures to the group.

"Yo this is Cherry Bomb, Lemon haze, Blue balls, Jungle Fever, and King Fanta. I'm Peach pit, you wanna hang?"

I'm flabbergasted half by the names, half by the hair- the colors are so vibrant up close and half by the fact he wants to hang out, with ME?! These boys were all super chill: Cherry Bomb was tall and built- yoked even, Lemon Haze had gauges and just this look in his eyes that said "seen it before", Blue balls looked crazy but a lot of fun with his tight black biker shorts and over sized long sleeve band shirt, Jungle Fever was a little shorter than cherry bomb and lanky but still worked out, and King fanta just radiated chill, black cut off skinny's and a black v neck that somehow looked brand new. Peach pit looked like a lax surfer with tan skin that somehow stumbled into skater gear. And their Mohawks just tied all the looks together. The colors were so bright and the sides looked like hair had never even grown there. They didn't move In the wind, they were like punk rock dinosaurs bearing their spikes. I was so in awe by the swagger up close, like the backstreet boys stole these boys moves. They were just lounging sitting around, Blue balls was trying a move on his board and they looked d o p e. I just started stuttering.

"Uh me, yeah I guess so? I just uh I just got to know, I'm is this uh, is this a gang?"

They all crack up, cherry bomb falls off his seat with a belly laugh, Peach Pit leans on my shoulder holding himself steady while chucking.

"Haha naaah bro, we're just friends. We hang here most days after school. You live right by me and seem pretty chill so I thought you might want to relax a bit before walking back. We skate, workout, listen to music, hit lemon hazes pen and just chillll"

"Well that doesn't sound too bad" My shoulders finally relaxing.

"What year are you man?" Asks Blue balls?

"Sophomore"

"Sweet me too! Finally another one! Cherry Bomb, Lemon haze and Jungle fever are seniors and Peach pit and King Fanta are juniors. I'm new too, still learning how to skate."

"Yeah there isn't much to us and like I said we're not a gang but we do have a little initiation. And you can't hang out with us until you go through it. But hey at the end of it we give you a skateboard. Whatta ya say to that?"

"Sure why not?" At this point I would do anything to hang out with these guys, they were so cool and nice, but you didn't want to mess with them. This definitely beat my former plans of cable television and loneliness.

"Sweet lets go, Chopper says he's ready for us" says king Fanta, standing up without even looking away from his phone. He somehow steps on his board and begins gliding out of the park. The rest of the spiky haired boys follow suit at their own pace.

"Sorry first test of initiation, keep up" says Peach pit with a head nod.

And before I know it I'm jogging in the middle of these six skaters, looking like a pride parade gone rogue and I'm the person in the middle waving to the crowd. I'm jogging for like thirty minutes before they finally stop in front of this black brick building with a bunch of neon in the windows. There's a big painted sign on the building that Says Chopper's House. Out front is some motorcycles parked, a stone picnic bench with some older guys smoking cigarettes and some cool joke headstones of famous people. The boys put their boards under their arms and walk into the building swapping familiars to the guys smoking and the dudes playing pool in the front of the shop. It looks like there's a bar to the right but there's a few pool tables in the front and back, and to the left looks like a barber shop with a tiled off section. There was even a few tattoo tables with one in use. A big jolly voice echoes from that section.

"Yo you baby punks, get your *sses back here" I follow the rainbow haired boys to the back to see the biggest man alive, probably. He made cherry bomb look small. He was over 6"6' and 300 pounds of muscle, wearing a leather pants and vest, and jangled with metal. He was wearing a black leather barber apron and had a septum piercing, also black. His head as shiny as an 8 Ball. He looked ready to have some plastic hair spikes implanted on him. The boys all ran up to him saying high and yelling " CHOPPER!" and giving secret handshakes, Blue balls just straight up tackled him but it did nothing to the giant of a man. He just caught him, gave Blue Balls a noogie on of his bald sides and placed him back on the ground fixing a spike. I was already the shortest of this group of boys but now I just wanted to sink away. Though still intrigued my legs didn't move.

"I see you guys got a new guy today, hell yeah! What's up little man?"
He held out his fist for a bump. I bump it and manage a little w'sup nod with my head.

"Ahh don't worry dude, we'll have you looking you belong in no time. So take off your shirt and pants and get your ass in this chair. Asap." Said Chopper moving aside to gesture to the large chrome barber chair behind him. The other boys looked at me excited, like they'd been there before.

"It'll be cool man, just do it" said peach pit winking.

When in Rome I guess? I really couldn't figure my way home anyways and I kinda saw this coming, not the stripping but the haircut for sure. I took off my shirt and jeans and over to Peach pit, then sat down in the barber chair with just my boxer briefs on. At least they were clean.

"Shoes too!" Says blue balls grinning. I kicked off my socks and shoes to him. Now completely stuck from running. Not that I was brave enough to escape in my Hanes.

" Alright! We're all set! One extreme punk makeover coming up, you can't stop till it's done and I decide it all for you. But don't worry you're getting the Roy boys package for sure" says Chopper wrapping a heavy black cape around me. It seemed to be made of latex or something because it had weight to it and I was deftly trapped under it. But it was kind of cool looking at myself in the mirror, I looked like a floating head. And Chopper had made the other six so cool, so I relaxed and began to chill. Listening to the ACDC on the radio.

Chopper picks up a comb and grabs some hair bands from a jar. He begins combing out the hair on top of my head and splitting it up into six pony tails down the middle of my head. I knew it, I was getting hawked up. Crowned like the rest of these punk princes. I just wonder what color chopper would do. After he finished the last pony tail, he goes over to grab a giant pair of chrome scissors and starts taking off the length on the sides. Once that's done he grabs a pair of balding Clippers and starts mowing off every bit of hair not banded up. It's the first time my scalp had felt the air in years, and after that first pass of the Clippers I knew there was no going back. Those balding Clippers were no joke and he lightly pressed them into my skin ensuring the blades went all the way to the root. My light brown hair flaking to the ground, there was so much of it. He moved on to the other side as I felt a breeze on my newly denuded scalp, imagining what it would feel like while skating down the street. While I'm sitting there pondering my future hobby, Chopper has already finished the other side and is going to a machine for some lather. I'm still faced away from the mirror the other boys looking at me intently, saying how cool I look and that the Mohawk really suits me. When I feel the cold lather on my skin goose bumps cover my entire body and I can tell there is barely anything else for Chopper to scrape off. It feels so good as he covers the sides in lather as he expertly begins to shave my head smooth as a bowling ball. I'm barely paying attention to the other boys as the lather is putting me to sleep. Chopper's touch is so nice and the music is oddly relaxing like a white noise machine. And before I know it I've fallen asleep in my underwear in a barber chair with a bunch of boys I just met. The me of this morning wouldn't have believed where this day would take me.

I wake up to a slight tugging on the top of my scalp, and the brisk feeling of air conditioning on my scalp. On my scalp? My head seems very cold, and very sensitive and then the tugging began again. The guys were in front of me, grinning beneath their technicolor hair.

"Welcome back to the living" said Blueballs.

"You look tight as hell" Said Peach Pit.

"We finally got the complete set." said Cherry Bomb.


I Felt different. Well for one i couldn’t see under the cape, but i felt like i had clothes on now. I knew i went to sleep with nothing but underwear. I wonder who dressed me. Peach Pit gave me a wink. I was still sleepy but the tugs on my scalp, slowly tugged me awake. Chopper was pulling my mohawk to perfection. Just straightening the final spike.

"Alright me little chap, you ready to enter the brotherhood of punk. We’re nicer than we look. But i guess now you don’t look so nice either, you wee daggy chap." Chopper said with a laugh in his voice and then spun me around while whisking off the cape.

I couldn’t believe who I saw. I would have never been so bold, the color was vibrant. It was sexy, it was bright, it was provocative, and it fit me perfectly. I completed the set. Six sickening bright Pink, and I mean PINK, spikes of plastic looking hair now protruded from my shiny bald head. There wasn’t a trace of hair left that wasn’t pepto bismol colored and pointed to the ceiling.

But that wasn’t all. I now had a black eyebrow piercing, that explained the dull thud above my eye and another thud coming from my belly button. I looked down and I was wearing a long sleeve crop top hockey jersey. Luckily i had some abs because now they were accented with a black and pink belly button piercing. It hurt so much but it looked so cute. I had black cuffed jean shorts on and some new black and pink vans to match. I looked like a punk dream, and with the other boys crowding around me staring at my reaction to my new image, I felt like a part of something.

"Like it, do you? can tell by your shorts mate!" Laughed Chopper. "They all been here before, but you turned out especially cute. We don’t get very many cute punks around here. They all turn out ugly like Cherry bomb and Blueballs." Laughed Chopper as the two boys he mentioned jokingly punched his ribs to no effect.

"Well I gotta christen you like all the rest I suppose, otherwise you’re not a real Roy G. Biv Boy. And besides this is the first time in a few years we’ve completed the full rainbow." Said the giant bald man scratching his head.

"I Name thee, Bubblegum!" as Chopper said it, the boys burst into shouts and cheers and picked me up out of the barber chair and paraded me around the bar. A rainbow mohawk gang, hooping and hollering. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue,violet and finally Indigo! We drank sodas, and hit the pens, and played pool until the sun was about to set. The boys all slapped me on the back and exchanged, sloppily, the new personal handshakes I had learned. Everyone had their own mark. Until it was just me and Peach pit standing by the door, with Peach holding a skateboard that wasn’t his.

"Welcome to the crew mate. I’m so glad you decided to finally follow me. I’ve been watching you for weeks. You seemed cool but I didn't think you liked guys like me. That hawk looks cool as hec and pink is definitely your color. So now I present you, your first board and welcome you as an official Roy Boy." Peach pit handed me the new skateboard, his cheeks turning pink. Which matched since the underside of the board was all pink bubble lettering that said "Hubba Bubba Max" on it.

I graciously accepted it, and me and Peach pit skated home. Not even pumping once. Like magic.

We got to my house and my board just stopped. Peach ollied before he stopped and held his board. Took a few steps and kissed me on the mouth. I didn’t know what to say. This day has been as long as Peach pit’s tanned face is cute. He blushed, and said

"I’ll pick you up on my way tomorrow, see you around at school. Bubblegum".

Then he skated away. His house was two blocks down, and that left just enough time for my heart to collect itself.

I went inside, ate some dinner. Stashed my new skateboard and went to the bathroom. The punk pink Mohawk stood perfectly still, I don’t know what chopper did, but it seemed like it wouldn’t move for days. The outfit was cute too. The crop top jersey showing off the new belly button piercing that reminded me that this wasn’t a dream. I scratched my face avoiding the eyebrow piercing too. I looked cool as "f*ck. Or at least the bare minimum of cool you needed to be a Roy G. Biv Boy.

Oh God what would my parents say!! Who cares, it was over and done with and I had finally made some friends and gotten out of the house.

And complain they didn’t. My parents agreed it was a little extreme but as long as my grades were good and I didn't get in trouble. I could keep my new punk look til the end of high-school. They weren’t around much anyway, my dad did show me his Green day albums after it though. My Grandma absolutely loved my new look, she said it was so 90’s and so hardcore. She bought me some Got2BGlued products to keep my Crown Spiked up.

The day of my transformation wasn’t the first time Peach Pit, or Kyle as I sometimes call him, kissed me. We got together soon after and he stuck around even after college.
High School was a blast, we ruled the skate park, learned all the tricks, played pool and even did a few things under the bleachers. But I'll never tell what happened. The Roy G. Biv Boys were finally complete and Bubblegum wouldn’t be the one to pop the secret. Though if you ever want to be a rainbow crowned boy, just visit Chopper at his house, and soon enough you’ll be gliding through town like a king.

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