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No frills by MaxBuzz


As a barber I loved nothing more than giving dramatic transformations to men cropping overgrown hair and banishing the length. My favourite kinds of clients for these transformations were what I called the no style haircuts. The kind of guy who just has a haircut because that’s what a guy does, he doesn’t take much time over his appearance and getting his hair cut is not high on his priority list. The next customer to walk through my door personified that perfectly.

"Morning!" I said cheerily as he pushed through the door and into the empty waiting area. "Come on over and have a seat!" I continued slapping the back of my chair and gesturing.

"Morning!" He replied sauntering over to the chair and sitting down carefree and un phased by the prospect of his haircut. Definitely a no style kinda guy, not worrying that the barber might mess his style up or he wouldn’t like the outcome! He pushed his hair out of his eyes and sighed, "this is overdue!" He laughed as I billowed the cape out around his body and fastened it loosely around his neck before tearing off a strip of tissue paper and tucking it in. I felt the thick hair at his nape tickle my hands as I did, gently tightening the cape over the paper.

"You’re telling me!" I replied as I sank my fingers into the hair at his nape and tugged gently. It was soft and well cared for washed the night before and with a faint whiff of shampoo. The hair hung down to his collar and completely covered his ears on the side. His bangs fell to just below his brows but not by much. "How long has it been since you had it cut?" I questioned as I started to comb his hair methodically.

"Actually if I’m honest probably about 6 months!" He admitted looking almost ashamed.

"Wow!" I replied, this is going just as I wanted I thought to myself. I placed the comb back in its position on the counter and stood behind him. "So how much am I taking off?" I asked running my hands up the sides of his head and holding his hair out to emphasise it’s length before letting it drop and smoothing it down.

"Ummm I guess just tidy it up on the back and sides and take a bit off the top?"

"That’s pretty vague, you sure you don’t want to be more specific?" I replied with a smile fondling the hair at his nape and savouring it’s silky feel.

"You know what you’re doing man! It’s just hair!" He exclaimed raising his hands under the cape in a gesture of carefree nonchalance.

"Well then.." I pondered as I gently raked my fingers back across the top of his head pulling his hair back off his face. "I think you’re a no nonsense kind of guy and you probably want a sensible no nonsense kind of haircut?" I stated lifting his bangs up and measuring their length as his eyes met mine in the mirror.

"Yeah, definitely I don’t spend a lot of time or thought on my hair I just get up and go in the mornings! The longer I can be in the bed the better!" He grinned as I dropped his bangs back in his forehead and reached for my clippers.

"Say no more!" I exclaimed barely able to contain my glee. "I have just the style in mind for you!" I chuckled as I fitted the number 2 guard to my clippers.

He sat there relaxed and ready his head almost bowed submissively no hint of worry about what was to come. "Great!" He said although I still didn’t know how he would react to exactly just how little effort he would need to put in to his new look once I was finished!

"Ok lovely, let’s get on with it!" I said standing behind him and flicking the clippers on, a deep buzz filling the room. I grabbed a fistful of his hair on top and felt it soft and doomed between my fingers. I used it to pull his head backward gently but firmly so his eyes looked toward the ceiling. He looked somewhat startled as I let go off the handful of hair and swept his bangs back off his forehead his eyes stretching back to see my face. I smiled reassuringly as I advanced the clippers on his hairline and pushed them back into it. They hummed deeper as they made contact with his thick shiny hair and I pulled them gently back across the top of his head sending the hair cascading down toward the floor until I had made a full pass across the top of his head. I caught the last tumbling locks in my hand as his head snapped back into the upright position his eyes bulging in shock.

"Ok wow!" He said, leaning forwards to look in the mirror his beautiful brown hair intercepted by a strip of fuzz like a runway in a forest of hair. "Not quite what I had in mind!"

"It’s gonna be a change, I’ll give you that!" I said as I held up the shorn locks in my fingers. "But you will have a lot less effort to make with this gone!" I stated, dropping the hair into his lap. "You said yourself you don’t like to put a lot of thought in and you wanna spend as much time in bed as possible!"

He nodded and swallowed as I stood behind him looking as innocent as possible. "You’re right, it’ll be easy that’s for sure!"

I chuckled, "you’re my dream client!" I replied sincerely as I pushed his head forward and started on the back of his head. Now the initial boundaries had been set I could enjoy the transformation with the certainty that his fate was sealed. The clippers slowly and methodically drove up into his hair sending it tumbling gently to the floor. It fell almost in slow motion catching the light and bouncing off his shoulders as it did. Some settling on the floor and the rest sliding down into his lap. I held a hand out occasionally and let it drop into my fingers feeling it lifeless and silken in my hand. As I pushed my clippers up again and again the sandpaper brown covering spread wider the thatch of hair removed showing a handsome skull.

The back of his head was now a uniform fuzz and the sides lapped liberally over his ears still. His bangs still rested on his forehead either side of the shorn strip down the middle and he looked entirely comical.

"You look speechless!" I said as I moved onto the right side of his head.

He swallowed, "its a lot to take in!" He admitted as I ran the clippers up his sideburn the remaining hair on top pushed back out of the way held in my fingers.

"Sorry it was a bit of a shock transformation for you wasn’t it!" I confessed feeling a slight pang of guilt. The clippers pushed back methodically revealing his ear as they worked to meet the clipped hair in the back. Hair fell in torrents as I moved his head gently but firmly using the fistful of hair on top feeling the contrast of the long locks between my fingers and the shorn strip down the middle with my fingertips.

"Yeah but it’ll grow back and I won’t need a haircut for a while!" He stated as though that was the best thing ever!

"You sure won’t! I said as I let go of the handful of hair and tousled it back into place. "Let’s get rid of these bangs!" I said as I placed the clippers next to the shorn strip down the middle of his head and pushed them back parallel into his remaining hair overgrowth. The hair fell back onto his shoulders and collected as I ran them back again working outwards away from the center until he had a contrast of buzzcut on one half and bangs still hanging over his eyebrows on the other.

"You mind if I take a picture?" He asked as I shrugged.

"Of course!" I said as he reached into his pocked sending the mountain of hair in his lap teetering towards the floor where it slipped off and hit with an almost audible thump.

I snapped a picture for him before completing his transformation and rubbing his shorn head.

"That’s a lot of hair gone!" I exclaimed as I gathered up the last pile from his shoulders and dropped it onto the floor.

"Yes!" He replied. Matter of fact and without fuss, just like him and his new haircut!



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