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Faking Deaf by cut.the.flow


All day long I had waited to try this new strategy to take off more hair than a man wanted, but as this next man walked in, I knew it was time to employ it. My shop has been empty for a bit before he walked in. His dark hair was fluffy and sat on top of his head nicely. It arched up begging to have fingers run through it. "Hey man! Come on over. What’s your name?" He smiled and shook my hand when he got to me, "Parker". "Carter?" "No. Parker. With a P" "Oh! I’m so sorry. Well it’s nice to meet you Parker. Have a seat." He sat down and I quickly threw my cape around him. Now to hear what he wants to do. "So Parker, what are we doing today?" I smiled at him in the mirror. "Well my lacrosse season starts tomorrow and I thought I should get my hair all squared away before it starts." "Totally, man. So you said you want it squared at the back?" I said pushing his head forward drastically. "N-No. It was just a figure of speech. I just want it trimmed up." "Okay. I’m sorry. My ears have been messed up ever since I got back from the beach. I’m thinking maybe I got something in them." "You’re fine." "Can you be a little more specific with what you want?" Now was the time to use this selective hearing I had just gained the powers of. He began "Shave the sides down to like a 1. Maybe fade it. Then just watch the top. An inch maybe." I smirked at him in the mirror "Alright! Whatever you say! And the beard?" "It’s fine. I can clean it up later myself." I smiled at him as I spun him to face away from the mirror. I began asking him about lacrosse. As he rambled, I set up shop behind him. I threw on the shortest guard. I pushed his head down, slowly this time as to not startle him. He didn’t break from his train of thought, which meant he trusted me. Perfect. I started up the back, acting like I was gonna fade it. He couldn’t feel the difference between the guards. I followed the back and sides of his head with the shortest guard on. He didn’t notice a thing. If he asked, I would just say I thought the disconnected look would work best on him. I continued with the banter as I let his dark tresses fall to the floor. He had no clue.

I had finished with the back and sides, so I turned him around to see it so far to gain some more trust before doing the top. "Alright. Is this what you were thinking?" "Sure. A little shorter than I had hoped, but it still looks fire." "Good" I said as I swiveled the chair back around. I started him up again to get him distracted. This time he talked about his teammates more. I perked up at the thought of this. I picked up the clippers and took the guard off I had just used. I only did this to confuse him. I put the same guard on. Quickly before he had a chance to notice, I reached over his head, turned the clippers on, and plunged it right down the middle. His dark locks flew back with the clippers. Instantly, he broke from his train of thought. "WOAH MAN WHAT THE F—?!" He stood up and turned around to face the mirror. His mouth was agape as he touched the newly shaved strip down the middle. The point of no return. "WHY did you do that? I was entirely clear about everyth—" I cut him off, "I did exactly what you told me to do! I don’t know why you’re freaking out!". He looked at me odd. Quickly I explained that "You said ‘Shave the sides down to like a 1. Maybe fade it. Then just match the top. An inch maybe.’" He looked furious. "NO! I said WATCH the top. Not MATCH the top. I meant watch it, like don’t take off too much. Maybe an inch off the top." "No. You said match the top. Match it to the back and sides. An inch maybe meaning an inch left at most. I thought an all over buzz would look better tha-" "That is not at ALL what I asked for" He looked at himself in the mirror, "But I guess it’s too late for that now." He slumped down and sighed. He stood back up, glared at me, then slowly sat back down in the chair. With defeat in his voice he said "Just finish it... I guess...". He looked at himself in the mirror and I could see inside that he wanted to raise hell, but he knew he had no choice. Slowly, I fixed the cape and this time I made sure to face him towards the mirror. I wanted to see his face as his I sheared what was left of his mane. I picked up the clippers, revved them up one last time, then placed them back on his forehead.

I thrusted them back into his brown licks. The waterfall of hair excited me. Slowly, his hair was hitting the floor. Not long after, all the hair was on the floor. The longest hair on him was his beard. I went around and cleaned him up to make sure he was even after the massacre of hair I had gotten rid of. I half smiled at him in the mirror once I was done. He looked up at himself in the mirror and half heartedly said, "You did a good job. Now let’s hope the guys on the team don’t ridicule me for this." This peaked my attention as I swept him off and removed the cape. "What do you mean?" I asked him. He explained that the guys on the team all had good heads of hair. They were all gonna grow their hair out, but he wanted his trimmed. He knew he would never hear the end of it since he was getting it more than trimmed. "Now, I’m sorry about what happened to you, but let me make you an offer." He looked at me intrigued as I continued, "One way to get the guys to not ridicule you is to get as many of them up here to me before your season starts. Don’t let them know what I’m doing and I’ll shave as many down as I can so you’re not alone." "Okay... I may actually take you up on that offer." He took out his card to pay, but I stopped him and said "It’s on me. I’m so sorry for what I did today. Let me shear those other guys down and we can call it even." He seemed happy that he didn’t have to pay...or maybe it was my offer to him. "Okay! If I send them, I’ll make sure to tell them to say I sent them so that you can "give them an deal"." Yes! That’s the spirit! As he walked out the door, now smiling with his head shaven, I said "Have a nice day! Can’t wait to see your friends." Now I just had to wait in anticipation and come up with whatever my next trick would be. Faking not being able to hear well worked, so what next?



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