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The Odds Decide My Haircut by Horseshoed Again
Odds favor the Barber
When I was young, my father always took my brother and I to the barber for our haircuts and the barber he chose always gave the shortest haircuts of anyone my age. When I reached high school I had a job and started paying for my own hair out. I started growing my hair out, and going to salons instead of barbershops. I grew my hair long and went months without getting it cut. However, I had a hard time escaping the urge to return to my roots, barbershop haircuts.
The urge finally came to a head when I was in college and had hair down to my shoulders. On my way to campus was the Dollar Barbershop that had 16 chairs. One day the urge overtook me and I pulled into the parking lot in front of the barbershop and contemplated going in. I decided to let chance decide my hairs’ fate and looked in the ash tray to see how many coins I had. I picked an odd number of coins and decided that I would flip all the coins—heads I get a haircut and tails I don’t. Also, I decided that I would do a best of three rounds of coin flips. In the first round of coin flips 7 of the 13 coins were heads and 6 were tails. Round two was 5 heads and 8 tails. That meant that the third round decided my hairs’ fate. As I flipped the coins.my resolve to let chance decide my haircut fate strengthened. Whatever the result. I would abide by the decision. I flipped the coins one by one, soon realizing that my fate was sealed. The result was 9 heads and 4 tails. I put the coins back in the ash tray, locked the car, walked into the barbershop, and took a number. When my number was called I told the barber to give me the same haircut my dad had requested in my youth, a short taper cut. The barber wasted no time firing up the clippers and shearing my long hair down to a short skin fade on the back and sides with finger short length on top. I left a lot of hair on the cape and floor, but lived with the coins decision.
That urge to let chance decide my haircut has remained with me ever since. With the advent of the iPhone, my game of haircut chance has evolved. I have a dice app I know use. The rules are pretty basic
• snake eyes means a barbershop haircut and double sixes means a flat top.
• I play three, best of three rounds. The first shake determines how may rolls I get in the in each set of the round so I will get somewhere between 2 and 12 rolls for each set. However, because I got frustrated that rolling a 2 or 12 here was a wasted haircut roll I now say that a 2 or 12 here are an automatic win for that set.
• Because a flat top was the ultimate short haircut, I decided that double sixes meant a possible flat top. I then rolled the two dice saying if I rolled double ones or double sixes in x number of shakes that round was an automatic flat top win for the whole round. So I would roll the dice and say flat top if I roll a 2 or 12 in the next X number of rolls. A 2 or a 12 ends that round with a flat top winning that round If any round resulted in a flat top, that what was haircut I would request.
• If at the end of three rounds, the result was a barbershop haircut rather than flat top, I would then reduce the number of dice in the app from two down to one and roll it. 1 or 2, I would get a skin tight fade, 3 or 4 meant a high and tight, and 5 or 6 meant a flat top. Think about hour own haircut options and assigned the rolls accordingly.
As a result of this game, I have let the dice decide that I have needed 4 flat tops, 2 high and tight haircuts, and several skin tight fades. The last 3 flat tops have been horseshoe flat topes because that was what I put on the line before I rolled the dice.
I am headed back to the barbershop tomorrow at 8am for a horseshoe flat top because the dice decided my haircut fate. For round one I first rolled an eight so I rolled the dice eight times with no 2s or 12s. 0 to 1 for a barbershop haircut. In set two of round one I rolled an 11. During those 11 rolls I rolled double sixes. That meant a flat top in x number of rolls I rolled a six and on the 4th of 6 rolls I rolled double ones which meant round one automatically goes to flat top. So barbershop haircut has now won one of the best of three rounds required.
In round two I started with a roll of 4 so set one of round two had four rolls to get a 2 or 12. No such luck. Then I rolled a 6 so I had 6 rolls to roll a 2 or 12 or round two would mean no barbershop haircut. No 2s or 12s, so it round one said flat topl, round two said no haircut. That meant round three would decide my hair’s fate.
The first shake was a 9. That meant set one I had 9 rolls to get a 2 or 12. I rolled a 2 on the sixth roll, so first of the best of three goes to barbershop haircut. In set two I roll an eight. That means I have eight rolls to get a 2 or 12 to win the round, and if the round is one, barbershop haircut would win 2 of 3 rounds and I would have no choice but to sit in the chair for a flat top. I roll a ten which means if I roll a 2 or 12 in the next ten rolls, I have no choice but to walk into the barbershop and request a horsehoe flat top. I rolled a 2 on roll eight, so the dice have spoken.
My wife hates the horseshoe, but the dice have spoken and I have always honored the results of the coins and dice. In my profession, a horseshoe flat top is extreme and not socially acceptable, but I still honor the games of chance I set for myself. I expect you to do the same. Good luck!