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Speeding in Rural America, Part 2 by Jason
Speeding in Rural America, Part 2
The officer pulled into his police station parking spot.
"Ok boys" he said as he opened the back door of the cruiser. Time to meet the judge.
Brad and Kent exited the cruiser. Their neatly parted hair glisening in the sun, and not a hair out of place. It was proably helped by the
vitlis hairtonic the barber had used to dress their hair. The aroma followed them.
"Step this way gentlemen" the officer led them thru the door of the police station.
"Hendrickson", said the officer at the front esk ahead. "What have we got here?"
"Two speeders I picked up this morning. We're heading over to see Judge Harlow."
"I see", said the desk sargent. "They sure look ready. Lucky for them. Judge has not been in a good mood today. Seems someone
held up the gas station and was apprehended by Philps. They gave Philips a work out for sure by running down Cherry Street.
Despite being out of shape, he nabbed them good. They're in holding Three. They're filthy and smell. I wouldn't go
back there if I were you. Not until they've been cleaned up."
Brad had just noticed the name tag on the officer's shirt read "Hendrickson". "Why hadn't I notice that before?" Brad thought to himself.
"Oh, yea, maybe because I was preoccupied having been arrested and being forced to get this stupid haircut handcuffed to Franks barberchair. "
He continued thinking about what day this has turned out to be.
Officer Hendrickon motioned Brad and Kent to follow him down a hallway. Above the entrance read "HOLDING & INTAKE", and another below saying
"OFFICERS QUARTERS", and "COURTHOUSE ACCESS". As they walked, they noticed a cell labelled HOLDING #1, followed by HOLDING #2. As they passed HOLDING #3
they saw two guys sitting on a bench inside a fenced room. The desk sargent was right. They were ripe. The temperature in the hallway must have
been about 80, and that didn't help. The 2 guys had dirt all over them - likely from that prusuit with Philips and being subdued. The hallway
eventually forked into 3 paths: To the left read "OFFICERS QUARTERS"; to the right, "INTAKE"; and straight ahead "COURTHOUSE ACCESS".
Hendrickson led them down "OFFICERS QUARTERS" until they reached a door that read "HENDRICKSON".
In they went.
"What size shirt do you two wear?" Hendrickson asked. "Maybe 17 inch?"
"Huh?" Brad said.
"What size dress shirt you wear?"
"Yea, 17 I guess." Brad replied.
"It is your lucky day fellas." Hendrickson pulled out two white dress shirts from the closet and handed them to each.
"What's this for?" Kent spoke up.
"To secure your necktie of course" Hendrickson said as he then handed each a striped necktie.
"Those pants aren't too shabby so they'll have to do. But those tennis shoes. Nope. Here ya go." Hendrickson handed them each a pair of black
"Ok fellas. Change and don't doddle. We have to get going to see the Judge. Hendrickson left the room.
Brad and Kent removed their T-shirts and shoes, and began to put on the dress shirt, tie and shoes.
From down the hall could be heard a comotion. Some arguement was occuring.
Hendrickson popped his head into the room. "You fellas ready?"
Brad and Kent followed Hendrickson. As they walked down the hallway, the sound of the comotion was getting louder. Scuffling could be heard.
They could now see 4 officers pulling the 2 smelly guys out of the holding cell. One officer had a neck hold and another grabbing arms.
The neck hold officer said "Come on, Intake time. We have to get you cleaned up."
One of the guys shouted "No f****ng way man. You have no right. Let me go."
"You wait here" Hendrickson said to Brad and Kent as he joined the other officers to lend a hand.
"Rules are rules you little sh#ts." The officers managed to strip both guys. They pushed them into a small booth-like room with tile on the walls and
floor. Soon water began to shower down.
"There's soap there on the shelf. Use it. You have 2 minutes." one of the officers blurted. "Come on, hurry up we don't have all day."
That was probably the quickest showers ever.
"Now towel off, and get your asses out here!" barked the officer. The other officers and Hendrickson stood by with arms crossed.
"These little sh#ts really have an attitude, don't they?" Hendrickson said.
"Yea, well their attitude adjustment has begun". replied one of the officers.
The officers handcuffed both guys. They were average build, endowed, and had hair down below their shoulders. One dark brown; the other light brown.
"Hey, where's Thompson?" said officer Jeffers. "THOMPSON!", he shouted.
From down the hall ran a young rookie officer. Keys and a baton on his belt rattled as he ran.
"Yes sir?" Thompason replied.
"Get 2 towels and wrap these 2 hippie sh#ts. I don't want to see their asses." Jeffers ordered.
Thompson returned with 2 towels and secured them around each of the guys.
"Good work Thompson." said the Jeffers. "Now go and tell the barber we'll be right over when he's ready."
Thompson walked further down the hall and entered a room off to the side.
"Barber?" yelled the dark brown haired guy. "What the F##k? Barber?"
The officers ignored him.
"You fellas going to need me any more? I should be getting these two over to see the Judge" Hendrickson asked pointing to Brad and Kent.
"Not if these little sh#ts man up." Jeffers said.
"You're not going to cut my hair if that's what you're thinking. This f###ng place is insane." the light haired guy shouted.
"Guess we might need you a bit longer Hendrickson, if that's ok. Judge Harlow is probably still at lunch anyway."
Thompson could be seen coming running back down the hallway.
"The barber says he's ready." Thompson said.
"You ready to do this the easy way or the hard way?" Jeffers said staring at the guys.
"You're not cutting my hair!" light haired guy said.
"Hard way it is." Jeffers said as he put light haired guy in a neck hold.
"How about you?" Hendrickon said looking into brown haired guys eyes.
"I'm cool. No need for the theatrics man." he said.
Jeffers led light haired guy down the hall and Hendrickson followed dark brown haired guy from behind.
"Brad. Kent. Follow me" Hendrickson said.
They all made their way down the hall and turn into the room off to the left. As they entered, they say a single barberschair in the middle of the room.
A pair of Oster clippers hung dangling from the ceiling held by a cord. Bright flourescent lights lit the entire room. A giant mirror was on the wall behind
the barber chair. A barber cloth was neatly folded hanging on the side of the chair. A 50-something man stood behind the chair in an officers uniform
like the others. His hair shorter. Much shorter than all the other officers. It was shaved smooth on the sides and back, and the top short and flat as flat
can be. His hands rested on the back of the barber chair.
"You two have a seat on that bench" Hendricks told Brad and Kent pointing to a long wooden bench along the side wall opposite the barber chair.
"This won't take long to clean up these two."
Jeffers forced light haired guy into the chair as he was still cuffed as he struggled. The barber grabbed onto his shoulder as Jeffers looked at
the side of the chair. He grabbed what looked like a leather strap. Then looked at the other side of the chair and grabbed another strap with a
buckle at the end. He threaded the one strap thru the buckle and tightened it around light haired guy until he was secure.
"We sometimes have to do this for uncooperative fugatives from justice" Hendricks said with a laugh as he looked toward Brad and Kent.
The officer barber grabbed the cloth from the chair and draped it around light haired guy, and pinned it tight around his neck.
"Damn! You keep bringing in these long haired hippies, I'm going to have to get new clippers, another chair, and some more help." the barber said.
"Well, isn't that something Thompson is preparing for?" Hendrickson said.
"As soon as I can convince the kid to get a proper man's haircut like mine. He's starting to get as shaggy as some of you. Which brings to mind ..."
"yea, yea, yea. I'll try to remember next week" Jeffers said.
"See that you do Jeffers. You don't want to get on report for haircut violation do you?" the barber joked, but half serious.
"Yea, Jeffers. Why can't you get a decent haircut like Brad and Kent there?" Hendrickson said pointing to Brad & Kent.
"Jeffers will be getting a flat special if he waits too much longer and it gets too much longer." the barber said.
"Ha ha. Very funny" Jeffers brushed off the barber's insinuation.
Jeffers hair was getting a bit scruffy for an officer. It was covering half his ears, and did extend over the collar. He wore it off to the side, but very
relaxed without any visible part. The front was rather long-ish, which he's often have to sweep to the side. When he wore his cap, the hair on the sides
would sometimes form "wings". He found he'd have to tuck the hair on the sides behind his ears when he saw the captain because the captain didn't
particularly like officers to have hair over the ears. His hair wasn't currently violating any written rule, but
he knew the captain. Too long of hair was an unwritten NO NO. The captain had delegated the final decision about haircuts to Chet the barber.
Chet had been a marine barber before joining the force and had his own idea how officers should wear their hair.
"If you don't want Chet to force a flattop on you Jeffers, maybe you should see Frank asap. He'd set you up with a Regular."
Hendrickson said, winking towards Brad.
"You could all use 'Regulars' that's for damn sure. Men today with damn too long of hair these days. Or Jeffers, you could see me and get a flattop or crewcut.
Speaking of crewcuts, we have some unfinished business to attend to don't we?" Chet said.
Chet pulled the Oster clippers downward. The cord was on a retractable pully like you'd find at a car repair shop.
"NO!" yelled the light haired guy. "No. Don't cut my f###ng hair".
"You can 'NO' all you want, but this hair is coming off' Chet said as he switched on the clippers. "I see little sh#ts like you in my chair every day.
You're all the same. 'Oh my precious wonderful hair. Please don't give me a haircut.' Well man up. You should have thought of your precious hair before
becoming a delinquent. Haircut rules require all booked offenders to get mandatory haircuts on intake. It's for safety and hygiene. Besides, you agreed
to it when you signed the intake form. The option was to go into solitary until trial, or be processed for regular intake. You chose regular intake."
"I don't remember signing that." the guy said.
Chet held the signed sheet in front of him. The haircut rule was highlighted. His signature was highlighted.
Chet withdrew the form, powered up the clippers and said "They all say the same thing".
With that, Chet placed the clippers at the front of his head at the hairline and made the first passs down the center toward the crown.
"They can't believe they signed on to get a crewcut." he said.
Chet made another pass.
"But they soon realize they did."
Another pass, and another. The hair was cascading down like a waterfall. Soon hair was piling up on the shoulders. The mound grew bigger and bigger until
it started to roll down the cape and settle into his lap.
"Yup, they all say the same, and then start to cry or man up. Which is it going to be in your case?" continued Chet.
Light haired guy started to squirm. "Don't move!" Chet said.
He continued to squirm. Chet placed his hand on his head and with a firm grip, held it perfectly still.
"I said, don't move. If I want your head to move, I'll move it." Chet demanded.
No matter how much he tried squirming, his head wouldn't move at all under Chet's vice grip.
"The same was true for the hippes who sat in my chair at the marine depot." Chet continued.
Light haired guy started to snivle.
"I guess the waterfall of tears has begun. Let em flow son. Let em flow. We'll be done soon so just let em flow." Chet said.
Chet had complete control of the positioning of his head. He'd push it to the side, and run the clippers up the side.
He's push it down, and run the clippers up the back.
With each pass, hair would be flicked off the clippers and fall with a thud onto the cape.
Chet switched off the clippers. Gave a tug, and they raised back up by the pully.
"There we go." chet said as he removed the cape and the mound of hair fell to the floor. "One crewcut."
"Next!" Chet barked.
Jeffers stepped up to unstrap light haired guy, grabbed him by the arm, and help him out of the chair. His cheeks were wet and his eyes red.
"Next!" Chet barked again.
"Go sit on the bench" Jeffers said to light haired guy.
To be continued.