Dave's Hairiest Challenge-Part II by Deke Cutter

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Part II (In Part 1, Dave gets permission to train with an Army Reserve Unit)

Georgie Allen was gathering his gear, readying himself for his summer training with his Army Reserve Unit. As usual, his hair was out of regulation. In truth, he had hated short hair from the time he got his induction cut for basic training. He had tried to keep his hair trimmed to something that would pass inspection at first, but then he tried to fake it and inevitably got caught on weekend drills and would get put on KP (kitchen patrol) as punishment. In fact, he was on KP so often, Colonel Robertson, who, Georgie had to admit wasn’t such a bad guy, had ordered him cook’s whites. His packing was interrupted when his wife, Alice, called to him, "Hey love, come look at this. I was checking to see if anything was posted about your unit and look what I found."

Georgie went to the dining room where his wife was sitting at her laptop. He looked at the fundraiser video that Dave, Jake and the colonel had put together. "Oh wow, I’ve seen that guy’s videos, seems like a cool person."

"Hon, he’s sacrificing those gorgeous locks to train with you boys and raise money for two worthwhile charities to help wounded vets. You were freakin’ lucky to get out of that hell-hole unscathed, with only one tour, and no physical or psychological harm, mainly because you had parlayed that KP, and you’re your college fast-food gigs into a (here, she used air quotes) ‘safe job’ over there. I’ve never pushed you about your hair because I know how you feel about it, but babe, get it cut short before this summer training. It’s your last one, you’ll only have until next February and you can start growing it as long as you want."

As much as Georgie liked his hair and, he had to admit, being a bit of a rebel, he loved Alice more. And he trusted her opinion. So, when he was ready to leave, he kissed her goodbye and headed to the barber he knew a couple of local guys in the unit used. He only had to wait about ten minutes for a barber to be free. He got into the chair and was caped up. The barber introduced himself and asked Georgie, "what are we doing today?" Georgie explained that he was heading to his two-week summer Army Reserve-training, and he was looking for a cut that would meet regulations. The barber ran a comb through Georgie’s hair and looked carefully at the pronounced cowlick in the front that created that natural ‘quiff’ in the front. "With that cowlick,’ the best short haircut would be either traditional crewcut with the front long enough to stand up or maybe an ivy league that could leave the hair a bit longer. "

Georgie, thinking, again of Alice’s advice said, "oh well, in for a dime, in for a dollar, but can you leave the front a bit longer?" The barber smiled and indicated that he would see what he could do. It had been a few years since Georgie had felt the sensation of the clippers pressed so firmly against his head. He realized immediately that he had failed to ask the barber to leave his ‘burns’ at the allowable length, but it was too late now. The barber was really going to town on the sides and back of his head. He wasn’t good with figuring out clipper size numbers, but he guessed ‘pretty short’. When the sides were done, the barber did stop and wet the hair on top, trimming back Georgie’s carefully cultivated front bangs, but getting progressively very short as he moved back and then switching back to the clippers to make the top look even. He cleaned up the sides and the hairline, alarmingly high and then carefully brushed up the front, using just a small amount of product to assist the cowlick. Georgie looked at himself in amazement. He didn’t love what he saw, but he admired the talent and skill of the barber and was thinking of using him for somewhat less-extreme cuts for the remainder of his ‘hitch.’

Meanwhile, back on base, our hero (that’s Dave) is packing up his stuff in the BOQ and getting ready to move to the Barracks. He has just messaged his wife Roni who has seen the fundfraiser video and has asked him when he is going to "reveal" his "new look" (that Jake has already given her a preview of). Dave has been dreading this because he (wrongly) believes she will think he looks ridiculous and take an "I told you so" posture over doing this challenge. He would face time her shortly and send a copy of the after photos that Jake had taken. He also mentioned Jake’s drastic haircut and said he would see if Jake had any pictures of it. About 20 minutes later, once he was sure all the photos had arrived, Dave Facetimed Roni. When she answered, her first words were, "I wish you were here so I could jump on your bones." And, for Roni, this was not an act. She loved her husband completely and she truly thought he was as handsome with short hair as he was with his gorgeous long locks. She knew he was one of those naturally good-looking people from the first time she saw him, and she knew her physical attraction to him was on a level deeper than simply his external looks.

"Do you mean it," asked Dave? I don’t think I look as terrible as I thought but I hated getting this done without telling you. Unfortunately, the colonel just sprung it on me. But I did say I would do whatever the soldiers did. I mean, obviously, I didn’t mean cut my hair, but….And then Jake showed up with his crew cut."

"Sweetheart, slowdown, you are going to hyperventilate. I promise it looks fine. Now tell me all about this fundraising deal. Can I help?

So, Dave went through the entire story of his and Jake’s arrival and the colonel’s plan. He talked about how the haircut had felt to him and how shocked he had been when he went to touch his head and found his hands were an inch or more away from where his now denuded scalp was. He then went on to warn her about the second haircut, but not knowing, yet, which it would be. Finally, her reliably upbeat Dave did return with his cocky smile to tell her what he had told Jake that morning about the practicality of the haircut for its low maintenance for the kind of activities he would be undertaking in the next two weeks. They discussed some ways that Roni and Leah might help raise funds. Then it was time for Dave and Jake to head over to the barracks and so they said good-bye for a while.

Jake accompanied Dave to the barracks where them met with Sergeant Preston who would oversee the day-to-day operations of the platoon’s training. The sergeant explained that Dave would have a somewhat private space in what was designed as an extra office across from his. Sergeant Preston believed it was fair to "his" soldiers to have that bit of privacy and for Dave to have some shelter from the barracks pranks that inevitably go on. However, Dave was still in the barracks and thus available for all training activities in real time. "Now men," the Sergeant said to Dave and Jake, "the colonel and I have discussed your video project and the fundraising mission. Dave, we need to make sure you know how to stand at attention. Jake, I understand you are a veteran, so you can help. Jake, attention!" Jake didn’t know if it was muscle memory or brain training, but ‘boom’, he was at attention. Dave looked at his easy-going friend with surprise. For the next 10 minutes, the sergeant and Jake drilled Dave until he could come to attention and at ease on command. Next, Sergeant Preston said, gentleman I am going to call you to attention and inspect your haircuts the way I will inspect the platoon when they arrive. This will determine whether you all get haircuts tomorrow or not. Ready? ATTENTION!"

Dave and Jake were relieved but not really surprised that their hair passed the sergeant’s inspection. In fact, the sergeant said that the release of the video probably greatly decreased the chances any of the platoon would show up out of regs, with one possible exception. One of the soldiers has not had a regulation haircut since we came back from Kabul." Jake helped Dave get his gear squared away and they did some filming of the training areas, fields, etc. Finally, it was time for the unit to muster. The sergeant had explained that Dave did not need to be present for the Division muster but that would be a brief welcome by the general and himself and then the platoons would be released to their barracks before evening chow. Jake was permitted to film the welcome ceremonies.

Dave was in his room when he heard the platoon arriving back. As the sergeant had warned him. The sergeant called "Mr. Mattucci, front and center please." Dave hurried out. Gentlemen, this is David Mattucci and that tall fellow with the camera is a veteran of this great fighting force. His name is Jake Louis. He will be filming the videos for Mr. Louis. Let me hear an ‘oorah’ for Corporal Louis’s service."

"OORAH!" responded the gathered soldiers, much to Jake’s embarrassment.

The sergeant continued, "the brass, in their wisdom, have decided to allow Mr. Mattucci to do a series of YouTube videos of his training with us for the next two weeks. For his part, (the sergeant nodded at Jake who pressed a button on a remote control, illuminating a large flatscreen TV with a "before" picture of Dave on it) Dave has agreed to participate in a fundraiser for two worthy charities for veterans. This involved his having his flowing locks cut to regulation length." There was a great deal of hooting and laughing a Dave’s expense, but he took it good-naturedly. With a clap, the sergeant then brought the troops to silence. "Jake, please show the next picture." (Jake looked a bit confused because, he had not been told that the colonel had loaded more than one picture). "As you can see, Jake here, also showed us some respect by getting himself cleaned up too." And the picture was a particularly shaggy one of Jake from his Facebook page. The men clapped loudly. The sergeant said loudly "and now platoon to attention at your bunks for hair length inspection." With minimal noise, the men formed, and the sergeant started his walk up one side and down the next. To his delight, the majority had cuts well within regulations. A few were a bit longer, but acceptable. Georgie Allen had purposely arranged to be last. When Sergeant Preston reached him, he looked closely at all sides of his head and even pulled out a tape measure to measure the length of the hair brushed up in front. "PFC Allen, for the first time since you have been in this unit, you have made me proud. That is one outstanding haircut. Gentlemen, you have all passed inspection. If any one of you moves out of regulations in the next 14 days, you will be taken to the barber. I will not have a shaggy soldier on one of Mr. Mattucci’s videos, is that clear?

"Yes Sergeant."

"And I will make sure that Jake and Dave leave here with haircuts that are fresh and well within regulations."

"OORAH!"

The first day of training left Dave feeling very good about his physical condition. In fact, he was surprised at how well he was able to keep up with the Reservists. He also had to give "props" to Jake who seemed very comfortable in the military milieu, joking about rising at "0 Dark Thirty" and ‘barely having time for the three S’s" before he had to get over to the barracks. The soldiers were a decent bunch of guys too. They did razz him and that guy Georgie about losing their "girlie locks" but it was all in fun. He found the evening tougher because he was tired but wanted to help Jake with the day’s video and check on the pre-recorded video that his wife had released in his absence. And, of course, he and Jake were both anxious to check on the day’s fundraising total.

As the 14-day period wore on, Dave grew more and more impressed with these citizen-soldiers and their commitment to their country. This training was tough. There were long marches with heavy packs and equipment, running, climbing, marching to cadence, plus the calisthenics. It was hot, dirty and dangerous. Unlike any of his previous challenges, he was also grateful when he got out of the shower that a quick towel-drying and a comb took care of his hair. He couldn’t imagine a headband and the sweat in his eyes with his long hair. In fact, if he thought of his hair at all, it was only in passing when he got out of the shower.

At the end of the first week, a lot of the guys were looking forward to a little time off and relaxation. Unfortunately, Dave and Jake would spend a good bit of time editing and planning. Roni had told him that she and Leah had some big news and to make sure that he and Jake left some time on Saturday for a Zoom call. With the fundraising already at an insane $35,000.00, Jake couldn’t imagine what they wives could have to tell. But, at 1500 hours as Jake insisted Dave call it, they connected to Zoom. Their wives looked great, and they looked excited. Dave and Jake both cracked up when the Andrews Sisters "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B" started playing in the background. Roni started the conversation. "Leah and I thought that at this time of year, with school out, we wanted to make sure that all the school service clubs and Fall sports teams knew about the fundraising. Leah also thought about the photography and video clubs and the bands and orchestras at the schools."

"Who knew you guys and your videos were so popular with the younger generation," Leah added! "We have great support. The soccer team challenged the football team to a ‘shave-off,’ that rapidly expanded to a shave-a-thon, including all the fall sports, male and female! They are raising pledges in the community. The band, orchestra and choirs are working together to create a musical tribute to veterans. It will be available as a CD or for download for a fee. That’s where we got the idea for the Andrews Sisters song. The kids are going to do everything from WWI through the most recent conflicts and the theater kids are going to do a show in period costume. Doughboys, "I’ll be Home for Christmas," "M*A*S*H, HAIR, you know." I think however much it raises, it is bringing awareness of Veterans health issues to these kids, and we think your colonel will like that."

Jake and Dave were so proud of their wives and their community that they were overwhelmed, at first. Finally, Dave spoke, "when we are done, I’ll get an email off to the colonel. Don’t be surprised if you both hear from him this week. He will be excited about this. The call ended soon after with each couple switching to Facetime for more personal discussions.

The second week of the Reserves training was tough, but Dave was surviving it well. Jake thought that they were getting great video and he was sure Dave’s subscribers would love watching this. According to Leah, the fundraising efforts at home continued apace and she kept talking tantalizingly of how much fun they were going to have when he got home with his fresh "GI Jake haircut." Needless to say, Jake was pleased with this prospect too. Dave had not spoken much about haircuts beyond telling Jake that the colonel had loved the athletes having a shave-a-thon. But Jake knew that Dave was aware of his fate, and he had to admit to a little bit of schadenfreude.

The last day of training usually ended at around in time for evening chow. This time, however, the training ended at midday. Sergeant Preston told the platoon to change into the uniform of the day and to report to the auditorium at 1400. At the appointed hour, the platoon arrived. Colonel Robertson stood at center stage and told the men that he was very proud of their work these past two weeks, jokingly adding, "particularly, with the hindrance of a civilian chasing you around." This brought cheers and hoots of "Dav-ie, Dav-ie! from the men. The colonel continued, "Dave did himself proud in keeping up with you men and his comrade Jake Louis, I am sure, had a lot to do with that. "Jake, Jake, Jake!" shouted the men. As you know, these boys sacrificed not only their time, but their precious girly locks for this latest adventure and in doing so, they also kicked off a fundraiser for two veterans’ charities near and dear to my heart. With the help of all those associated with this base, our families and friends as well as the many followers of videos Dave and Jake produce on YouTube, we have already raised $90,000.00." The crowd went wild. When they quieted down the colonel said. Now before Dave and Jake get a special gift that Sergeant Preston promised them, and before they show you a special video, they made just for all of us, here is a video made by Veronica and Leah, Dave and Jake’s wives, with the assistance of the videographers at their local high school.

The lights went down and on the large screen TV appeared Roni and Leah surrounded by a group of high school students. Roni and Leah gave a brief introduction about how their community wanted to become part of the fundraising effort. Then starting with the soccer and football team captains, quickly followed by the other participant team captains, the shave-a-thon was described, then the CD, then the musical. Then it was back to Roni and Leah to say, "with these fine young men and women in the lead, we have already received $10,000.00 in pledges. See you boys soon!" And the screen faded to black.

Colonel Robertson simply said $100,000.00 "oorah!" Let’s bring out Dave and Jake to introduce their special video. Dave and Jake came out dressed in tuxedos, like this was a Hollywood premier. The soldiers loved it. "Dave took the microphone and said, "Colonel, Sergeant, this challenge had been a dream of mine and it couldn’t have happened without your permission and help and without the acceptance of the platoon and without all the support of my main man Jake. Jake, why don’t you tell the men about the video."

"Well, brothers, as a veteran, I know how hard this training is on you and your families, and I also know that humor and comradery are what get you through it. Dave and I spent some time each night trying to find some of that humor and comradery and, we tried to put it all together for you and if you like it, we have copies for each of you." The next ten minutes were filled with laughter, silence, and even a few tears, followed by wild applause. Even Carl Robertson, Colonel USA looked a bit red eyed. But a good sergeant is always ready to step into the breach.

"Now men, we still have the best to come. Jake and Dave, those ‘monkey suits’ can’t be too comfortable. Here, I’ve brought you something more comfortable." He handed them PT shorts and tee shirts and white socks and their own athletic shoes and with two MPs, drafted to ‘help them change,’ they stepped into the wings. As they did, two barber chairs were rolled up the aisle and onto the stage. Toby and Chris, the two best barbers in the Commissary shop each came in carrying cases with their tools. Small tables appeared with water bottles, and other necessities. Once all was ready Dave and Jake returned in their PT outfits to good natured laughs and applause. Sergeant Preston reminded his platoon that he had promised them he would send Jake and Dave home with haircuts ‘fresh and well within regulation.’

Colonel Robertson added that the video of this haircut would also be used as another fundraising booster on Dave’s YouTube channel. He noted to those that weren’t Dave’s followers that his first dramatic haircut had not yet been shown to the public and this one would not come out for two weeks, so the platoon was asked not to spoil the surprise for the sake of the veterans.

With the preliminaries over, a cameraman and videographer from the base’s office of public affairs, that Jake had met during the fortnight he and Dave had been there had volunteered to help with the before and after pictures and the actual video. Dave asked Jake if he could have Toby again cut his hair. Jake realizing that they were in for very short haircuts agreed. After some mugging for before shots, the barbers went to work. Dave was nervous, but not nearly as nervous as the last time. That is, until Toby took the clippers to the front of his hairline and pushed them straight back. As Toby lifted the clippers, Dave remembered to keep smiling and looked over to see the same thing happening to Jake. This continued all over the top of Dave’s head. Toby whispered in his ear, "you are doing fine, big man." Then Toby started on the side. Dave had no idea that Toby and Chris were now tapering the sides down from the Number 4 on top to a 3, 2, and finally a 1 at the bottom or that he would have a thin arch visible around his ears. He did not realize any of this until he looked at Jake’s completed haircut. And then, finally, when he had cleaned the shaving cream off and applied some powder around his neck, Toby again whispered remember big smile when I show you the mirror, and he did. To Dave’s surprise, once the "after shots were taken and the video concluded, Georgie and the 4 other Reservists with the "longest" hair came up to the stage and proceeded to receive the same haircuts. Georgie handed the Colonel an envelope with the money he had collected from his comrades to add to the fund.

There was a big party on base and Dave and Jake were the guests of honor. There was much head rubbing and thanking of them both for the video and the fundraising. Jake and Dave didn’t really get to talk until the next day when they were driving home. In fact, Jake made Dave stop at the first diner they came to. "Are you O.K. man? With the second haircut, I mean. I saw that look when Toby started."

I freaked out when he started, but something happened during the party. It all started making sense. Oh, I’m not going to start getting a high and tight every two weeks or anything, but I finally it just isn’t a big deal. That first haircut two weeks ago, I thought I was going to crap my pants. If you hadn’t saved my bacon by telling the colonel what I meant I…"

"Yeah, about that, I sort of knew he was thinking along those lines."

"Wait, what?"

Yeah, as you now know, I served under him in Afghanistan, and he told he that the General didn’t like your girlie hair and that the project wouldn’t happen if you didn’t get rid of it. He made me promise I wouldn’t tell you and he said he thought he had you hooked to do whatever the Reservists had to do, and I knew if I told you, you’d freak and try to get by with some salon-cut and end up looking like a 90s lesbian. Did I just say that last part out loud?" Oh, Gawd I am sorry."

Dave was now laughing so hard tears were running down his face. "You big idiot, I was so mad at you and now you are my best friend again in a record breaking 30 seconds. I totally get it and you are right, well I don’t think I’d have looked like that, but I would have done something stupid. Robertson gave me a short, sharp shock. I should have known when you showed up with a clean-shaven face and a crew cut and were so quick to agree to this." Dave said pointing at Jake’s head. "But back to me, yeah, I’m good. I kind of like this," he said rubbing his head. "How about you, your hair wasn’t a thing like mine but still?"

"Leah absolutely loves me in short hair. She can’t wait to get her hands on my head, "Jake said beaming.

The students ended up raising $15,000.00. Jake and Dave’s videos raised another $50,000.00. Jake kept his hair short for Leah’s sake. Dave became much less concerned about his hair. He initially grew it back to its former glory and that took a while. But two years later when Jake informed him that two of the Reservists had cancer that probably was contracted from chemicals they encountered during the war, Dave was the first to agree to have his head shaved in a fundraiser for the two men.

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