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The Butch is a Keeper by Manny


Chris found himself gripping the steering wheel so tightly his palms were sweaty. This time he was determined to go through with it. There would be no driving past the barber shop. He would pull into the small lot, park, enter the shop, take a seat in the big chair and give his long rehearsed instruction: "I’m looking for something much shorter. I wanted it tapered close around the ears and tight up the back."

The thought of the clippers being driven up the back of his head sent a shiver through him. Chris pictured himself emerging from the shop thoroughly shorn, even scalped. His thick, soft, shiny brown hair in piles on the floor. In place of the coifed waves and styled tresses….skin, stubble and a very short pelt on top! He dreamed of feeling it for the first time. There would be no more fussing with his long, bulky forelock or elaborate quiff that he crafted each morning.

When Zach’s Barber Shop came into sight, Chris gripped the steering wheel even more tightly. It was at the end of a row of several commercial establishments â€" in red brick like the others, but much smaller. The front was only wide enough for a glass door and a medium-sized window. Between them was a barber pole â€" twirling red, white and blue stripes. Chris slowed the car as he turned into the small parking lot that had five space along the side of the shop. A red pick-up was in the last space â€" meaning just Barber Zach was inside. No client! It would be straight to the chopping block for Chris!

Switching off the engine, Chris steeled his grit. He overcame his anxiety and hesitation by staring directly into the rearview mirror and considering something even more radical: ‘you ought to go all the way. A baldy cut! That’s right, everything buzzed down to the wood.’ Oh, to see his pampered quiff fall to the cape…

Without another thought, the car door flung open. The next step in his journey to a new look was a sign near the front door that announced, "YOU’RE NEXT" with Zach’s Barber Shop written in a sort of bubble script that was popular in the 1970s. Chris glanced at himself in the reflection of the glass door. His hand was already on the metal bar, ready to push it open. Inside he saw the barber standing idle.

Inside were two Koken President barber chairs â€" closely, but not perfectly matched, in green vinyl upholstery, with chrome and yellow trim. Ash trays were embedded in the arms of the chairs even though smoking inside had long been banned by a community ordinance.

Chris stepped into the coolness of the shop that was enhanced visually by the sleek black and white checked linoleum floor. He glanced quickly at the array of sports paraphernalia from the 1970s that plastered the walls. A collection of baseball caps adorned a shelf above the neon lighting that bathed the big mirror.

"Go ahead, take a seat!" the barber told Chris, seemingly pleased to finally have a client.

"Like the sign outside says, ‘I’m next’!" Chris joked, trying to steady himself as he prepared for the next phase. There would be no backing out! The day had finally come to shed his pretty boy hairstyle! He climbed up onto the sturdy metal platform at the base of the chair that sported a protruding foot rest. The green vinyl felt quite comfortable as he eased into a seated position.

"This chair still has an ash tray in it!" Chris noted.

"Yep, and I use it almost daily. First thing I do after I close the shop and spin the sign around there on the door is to light up a cigarette and chill out for a few minutes," Zach explained.

Zach was a plumpish pleasant thirtysomething year old who sported a white barber jacket over his street clothes. Chris locked his glance onto the barber’s haircut â€" very basic and very short! It went from skinned at the bottom to no more than half an inch on top. The receding hairline made Zach’s forehead look enormous.

"First time here?" the barber asked casually, as he reached for a clean cape that matched his solid white jacket.

"Yep, I’m looking for something a bit shorter and more practical. Thought I’d try a barber instead of my regular salon stylist," Chris said, his calm voice not revealing any of the anxiety that had started to churn within.

The cape was fastened into place with a large metal clip. Suddenly, Chris felt captive! His anxiety level spiked. There would be no backing out now!!

"I can do shorter," Zach said gently smoothing down Chris’ silken locks with his hands. "What did you have in mind?"

The moment of truth arrived. Would Chris be able to do it â€" to spit out his rehearsed instruction?

"Oh, uh, shorter, really," he said with an air of uncertainty as reached out from under the cape and fondled his hair a bit. The soft silken feel….

Then Chris steeled his nerve and blurted out, "I want all this off. Really, short! Actually, like your length."

The barber got a bit of a surprised look. "Wow, that’ll be a change! Are you sure, so short?"

"Yep," Chris said. A bit of doubt kicked in, so he added, "I think so."

Zach reached for the clippers. He grinned as he brandished them playfully, "Once I start mowing it off, there’ll be no changing your mind." Then he snapped the clippers on and waited a bit, given Chris a chance to alter course before it was too late.

As the clippers came closer, Chris felt an internal struggle. He’d come so far. Just another 10 â€" 15 seconds and the decision would be over. But….would regret instantly set in?

Zach lifted the massive forelock with a comb and paused momentarily as the teeth were within striking distance of the massive quiff. "Like mine, you’re sure?" he asked a final time.

"Well," Chris stammered. Oh, no! He felt himself wimping out! "Perhaps a tad longer than yours…but quite short. Clippered to a practical length."

The clippers were swift as they took the forelock off! The rattling of the clipper’s metal teeth against the comb’s plastic teeth heightened the drama of the moment.

A huge clump of hair fell onto the cape and rested in Chris’ lap. Yes! The transformation was happening. "Bye, bye, morning hair care routine," Chris remarked gleefully, suddenly feeling a sure of brave manliness.

"You’ll like the short length," Zach said confidently, as he mowed off another large swath of hair. "No fuss, no mess, no comb needed."

"God, I can’t wait!" said Chris, gladly watching the pile of cut hair grow in his lap. "Actually, I’ve been toying with going all the way â€" a tight butch. Everything mowed off to a #1! Think that would work for me?" Just the sound of hearing himself say ‘tight butch’ thrilled him.

"Like a charm! Butch cuts look great on any man of any age â€" boy, teen, college type, young adult, middle age and grandpa!" Zach said with conviction. "Want me to take you down to the wood?"

There was a momentary pause as Chris considered the challenge. He felt a surge of courage for something radically new.

"Go for it! All the way! Give me a baldy cut, and make it tight!" Chris exclaimed.

Zach grinned broadly. "You won’t regret this," he said as he took the clippers straight down the top of Chris’ head. "You’ll walk out of here looking like an army recruit."

Chris closed his eyes and relished the feel of the teeth vibrating directly on the scalp. It was like heaven! He couldn’t wait to open his eyes and see himself clipped down to stubble all over. No more girly hair to contend with. No more elaborate quiff to get just right with blasts of the hair dryer. Just a manly look and a stimulating feel. He would walk out of the barber shop with a tight butch â€" FINALLY!

Zach gently forced Chris’ head forward and began tackling the back. "You have very thick hair," the barber commented as he watched sheaves of it fall to his feet.

"Yep, it’s incredibly dense, there’s so much of it. It’s no fun in the middle of a hot humid summer, though. Feels like I’m sporting a winter wool hat," Chris said, still imagining how he’d look with his hair all but gone.

"So, has this change been a long time in coming?" Zach asked as he continue strip away all length.

"Yes, years really," Chris admitted. "Working up the courage to go ultra-short."

"Afraid you might feel some regret?" the barber pressed.

"I guess so. How others will react. I mean, despite my whining, I have pretty great hair â€" lots of compliments, really," Chris noted, already feeling a bit wistful.

"No more GQ look for you when I’m finished. You’ll emerge from this shop looking more like GI Joe," the barber laughed.

That comment and the laugh sent an instant jolt of remorse through Chris. OMG! What had he done? Suddenly, dread and fear set in. Chris gulped a bit nervously.

His tongue was frozen, he felt stunned. The silence spoke volumes. The barber continued buzzing off Chris’ hair â€" tighter and tighter, to the wood. The client did nothing to stop the carnage. He watched more and more hair fall away from his head.

"You all right, buddy?" Zach asked, noticing the change from chatty excitement to nervous squirming to resigned stillness.

"Maybe I’m feeling just a bit anxious. How does it look?" Chris eked out.

Zach snapped off the machine and applied the whisk vigorously over Chris’ bald head. He folded the ears down and made sure the snippets in and around the ears also came out.

"Look at all that hair in your lap!" Zach exclaimed.

Chris’ anxiety surged. There was no direct affirmation from the barber that he haircut looked great.

"I think you can look up now. See the new, streamlined you, and decide for yourself. I already told you how I feel about butch cuts," Zach noted, still not offering an opinion.

Chris got the courage to raise his head and open his eyes. He blinked in disbelief. OMG! His eyes were wide as saucers.

"Well, what do you think?" Zach asked.

"I’m bald! Boot camp bald!" Chris stammered.

"Go ahead, feel the stubble. You’ll like the feel twice as much as you like the look," Zach said. What he said was no consolation.

Chris gulped. He felt the stubble and smiled shyly. "I do like the feel."

"And the look?" Zach asked, hopefully.

"Well," Chris gulped and stammered, "uh, um, not as much. How long…."

"How long will it take to grow back?" Zach completed the question. "It’s not growing back! You’ll get used to it and people will like it. Give the look a few days to grow on you, pun-intended!"

Zach bellowed with laughter. Chris was sure the barber used that little phrase with some frequency.

The barber withdrew the cape carefully. "So much hair," Chris murmured as he watched the pile fall to the floor.

Zach showed off the back with a hand mirror. Chris gulped as he noticed how his ears stuck out and the neon shone through them, creating a reddish glow.

"I feel so…uh, different….almost naked," Chris admitted with a pit feeling in his stomach. He reached up and rubbed his clipped pate with both hands.

"Can’t get enough of that, eh?" Zach asked.

Chris’ legs felt like jelly and he worried they might fold under him if he tried to descend from the chair. He needed a bit more time. There was only one thing he could think of to stall….a request for dreaded arches.

"I was wondering….arches around the ears. Would you mind, Zach?" he asked. As soon as he requested them, Chris felt deep regret. But, he knew it was the only way to gain a bit more time to recover from his shock.

"Of course! Consider it done!" Zach replied, slapping the cape back on. "I’ll lather shave your neck too."

Zach was VERY generous when carving out the arches…. "Most men who have….uh, conspicuous ears, uh….usually shy away from arches. But, you…." Zach’s voice drifted off. "They do stick out, but the overall size is normal."

Chris could not believe his huge ears were being showcased even more with arches. He looked almost comical without his nice, thick hair. The full sides had definitely camouflaged his "Dumbo look."

The razor on his neck was the only thing that made him feel somewhat good again -- that, along with the memory of how rubbing the stubble felt. Chris couldn’t wait to leave the shop and rub his clipped head again. The memory of it sustained him.

"There, you’re a new man!" Zach pronounced as he showed off his handiwork with the small mirror for the final time. "I hope I gave you the exact cut you wanted. Something short, if I recall your instruction when I first caped you up."

"Definitely got what I wanted," Chris murmured, his hand already exploring his clipped nape.

He looked down in amazement at all the hair around the chair â€" his hair! He felt curiously detached from it. Like it didn’t matter. It would be swept up into the pile that already collected near the barber shop dustbin.

Chris looked at himself in the mirror as Zach fumbled with the payment. It was different, for sure, but really not too bad….

"Keep the change, Zach," Chris said politely.

"Will I see you back in two weeks or so?" Zach asked.

"I think so," Chris replied. Then, he exited the shop.

Back in the car, Chris felt a surge of relief and actual pride. He had done it! He had not let himself down! He stared in the mirror. His ears…he was actually glad they stuck out. Everyone would be shocked by his makeover. Chris relished the thought of telling them firmly, "Well, I like this length very much. Get used to it, because the butch is a keeper!"













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