Dustin effing Beaver by Sockboy

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JB primped and prepped in front of the mirror of his hotel room for hours. Literal hours, probably 4 or 5. He knew how good he looked, how could he not? He was constantly reminded by the media, pop culture, and millions of screaming fans. But it wasn't enough, he had to look perfect, with an unhealthy obsession with his signature hairstyle with his oversized heavy bangs.


He was playing a concert tonight, his biggest of the year. Screams and hollering could be heard from the streets below his room, as the excitement began to overflow.

Of course he had his own stylist, 10 of them if he wanted. He was rich beyond his dreams and any number of people would actually pay HIM to get their hands in his beautiful hair.

But that wasn't good enough for JB. He had grown accustomed to looking at himself in the mirror, and fussing with his mop for hours. Parting it this way and that, trimming a single hair here or there that wouldn't stay perfectly in place. Kissing the air in front of him to see what he would look like if he were generous enough to make a girl drop to her knees if he would make some random lucky enough to get a peck from him.

He adored that power his looks gave him, he was generally a pretty nice guy, but all that power, money, and attention definitely started going to his head, and definitely not EVERYONE loved JB.

After several hours of making sure he looked just perfect, and washing his pretty boy hair 3 times (if he messed it up and wasn't perfect in his mind he had to rewash to remove product and start over with a 'clean slate' as he called it), he decided that was finally perfect. The show started in 2 hours and he could stay there all day looking at himself if he gave into his temptations.

Fully dressed, except for his feet, JB sat on the bed and pulled out a pair of his best white socks. Gucci or something. HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS for one damn pair of white cotton socks. Don't believe they exist? Google it. Yeah they're nice and super thick and like blankets for your feet but only someone oozing wealth and excess like JB could ever afford them. He put them on and slid his newly white cotton clad feet into his brand new limited edition Supra skytop sneakers that were so rare he paid what a middle class man makes in a month just to own them. He got them a half size bigger too cause the guys white socks added that much extra bulk to his feet.

JB took a moment to admire his creation in the full length mirror he DEMANDED be in his room. Of course JBs demands were always met. He was a king in a world dominated by pop culture and capitalism.

'Damn I look awesome', he said, audibly. He couldn't even contain his pride to a private thought.

A loud knock at the hotel suite door jolted JB from his fantasizing over his own good fortune and beauty. He started toward the door, excited, as he just loved showing himself off and he knew that whoever was on the other side of the door would be enamored with his looks, want an autograph, or at least know who he was.

They knew who he was. Two big ass dudes, not particularly attractive, not in the JB way anyway. Fairly muscled but no abs, a bit of a belly on them both, and obviously receding hairlines. I mean, they were old enough to be his father so they didn't have the benefit of a 20 year old physique and all the luxuries life had to offer.

'What?'JB asked, as anyone in his presence would naturally state their business. He was there for work, and he was usually well guarded, and only his manager or staff would be given access to his room.

No words were spoken. The pair of thugs entered the room uninvited, and JBs panic started to show through his facade of arrogance.

'What are you doing here? What do you want? Who are you?'

'I'm Roy', one of them bellowed, as he grabbed JB's arms and wrapped his own arms around them, and pulling JB close to his body, with Roy's groin pressed firmly against JBs butt.

Roy walked forward toward the full length mirror JB was so obsessed with, pushing JB with him as his grizzly bear like grip ensured they moved as one person.

'Oh boy you got such pretty hair' Roy said sarcastically as he stroked JBs exaggerated bang and pushed it up over his eyes. Terrified JB didn't know what to say except he managed to squeak out a 'thanks'. Roy bellowed out, hey Dan, don't this boy got the prettiest hair?'

'He suwe does, Woy, he's a weal pwetty boy with pwetty haiw' JB was trying to be calm, but he was freaking out. Who were these guys? What were they doing? They were paying so much attention to his hair, which JB normally loved but they were not being kind about it. He was horrified something bad would happen.

JB had been resisting throughout this ordeal but only minimally. He could tell with his first few struggles that Roy was much stronger, and he had no hope of escape on his own.

'What do you think of my hair, boy?' Roy asked, entirely sarcastically. 'It looks good', terrified JB managed to eek out in his fearsome situation. Roy was angered by this. He had a full blown norwood 5 balding happening, and he knew JB was full of s**t.

'TELL THE TRUTH', Roy yelled. 'Y-You're going b-bald, JB whispered. JB could hardly bear to say those words. He loved his hair so much and feared baldness so much he would never acknowledge it, not even on another man. He refused to believe that male pattern baldness would ever happen to him, and he would always justify it when seeing it on other guys' telling himself 'their hairline was always like that, some guys have great hair like me others have weird hairlines always. That doesnt ever happen.'

So many thoughts ran through JBs pretty head. 'Where's my manager, why isn't anyone checking on me? Is this a prank? Please let this be a prank. What's going to happen here?'

Roy sat JB down onto a chair in front of his prized mirror and just looked at him grinning. JB reached into his pocket and slipped out his phone as discreetly as he could. He knew that if he could just call 911 or his manager and not say anything, help would arrive and he could go back to his beautiful life.

JB entered his pass code on his phone, which was his own birthday. It was one of the first slightly narcissistic things he did after becoming so famous. His Birthday MEANT something after all. He was J effin B, with his awesome gear to wear, pretty face, and his beautiful hair that made women swoon and balding men boil with rage.

'I don't think so' Roy yelled in an angrier tone than JB had heard so far. Roy grabbed the phone and slammed the screen into the corner of the table, shattering the glass and even bending it badly. It was done.

JB was scared now. That was the best chance out of this mess. But now everything had changed.

'Why are you doing this?' 'What do you want?' JB was losing his cool and his worst fears were coming out in his faltering voice.

Roy looked JB in the eyes and spoke to him like a Dad scolding a son. 'My daughter loved you, she saved her money all year to go to your last show. She wrote you letters and you NEVER wrote back! At your last show she asked you for an autograph and you blew her off. Damn you! You devastated my little girl, and now you, you JB, will be devastated more than has ever happened to anyone in this world!

JB was confused, scared, angry, all at once. He had no idea who this bitch was, he had millions of fans, how the hell was he supposed to keep up with fan mail and autographs and stupid celebrity crushes? He was too busy being in love with himself to even know what the hell this guy was on about. And what did he mean? 'I'll be devastated more than anyone ever? WHAT?'

Dan, silent throughout this ordeal and chaimsmoking cigarettes quietly observing from his seat on JBs bed, suddenly broke his silence.

'We gun thave you baw'

JB tried to figure out what this loser hillbilly was saying, 'thave you baw' what the F does that mean?, he thought. He looked this dumb idiot up and down and realized he had a speech impediment. 'Nooo' JB thought to himself. 'Thave you baw' means SHAVE YOU BALD!'

Roy reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of hair clippers. Jb got up to run for the door, as the prospect of having his head shaved bald by force sent unimaginable terror through him. Roy had expected this however, and was prepared, immediately grabbed JB and bear hugged him back into submission. This time, sitting in the chair facing the mirror, with the ruddy cheeks caused by his nightmarish reality setting in.

Roy held JB in place, and signaled for his accomplice Dan to come over and help.

Dan gleefully powered on the clippers and placed them on JBs forehead, just before his hairline. Roy covered JBs mouth with one of his hands while still holding him still, as his screams were deafening. JB would not accept such a humiliation quietly.

Dan slowly worked back JBs hairline with the clippers, taking his time, as if he REALLY loved it. At this point tears were streaming down JBs beautiful face as his signature bangs were buzzed to the skull.

'Look Woy he look like u' Dan said as he basically gave JB a norwood 5 in an instant. 'Aww look buddy looks like you lost that nice beaver tail you had on your front there, Roy snarled', 'poor guys beaver tail is gone', Dan proceeded to put the sheared off bang on his own nearly balded head giving him his own bangs for a minute. 'Look Woy I'm Dustin Beaver!', and the two laughed while JBs muffled screams through Roy's hands were overshadowed by JB violently kicking the table with his Supra skytops for any kind of attention he could get.

'Nice thooz boy', Dan said to JB, Imma take em!

'No!' JB protested. 'Those cost $4000', at this point, less concerned with his sneakers, but his love for them made him forget about his haircut, if only for a minute.

Dan yanked off JBs shoes and put his white socked feet on the table. They all just looked on. JBs destroyed boy bang , tears running down his face, big white socked soles in the mirror.

Roy turned up to face JB, and spit right in his face. 'Thats for my little girl' he said. This was an unbelievably degrading act. Some idiot like him could never even get near rich, handsome, famous JB, but here he was spitting his vile saliva right in the beautiful face of the world's golden boy.

Dan looked on loving this, and was collecting a mouthful of his own saliva, and spit twice. JBs feet were still sticking upright on the table after his sneaker mugging and Dan just grinned like a psycho while he dropped a huge spit load on JBs white socked toes. Something about that act made JB freak out extra hard. It was obviously done to have some effect on him. And it worked.

Dan lit up another smoke, and every time he flicked off the ashes, did it right on JBs spit soaked toes. Within minutes, JBs white socks were a blackened sooty mess.

'Enough of this'! Roy yelled! Bald! Now!' JBs shirt was starting to get soaked from tears. Dan swept over his head with the clippers until JB sobbed like a baby.

Suddenly, Dan pulled out a can, and started saying 'thaving cweam' and chuckled as he squirted it all over JBs newly buzzed head.

JB started freaking. Sure, he was already shaved bald with the clippers, but he had a slight shadow it didn't even look that bad even though he much preferred his beautiful hair. This freaking hillbilly was gonna scrape him to the skull?

As Dan spread the cream out on JBs head, the room was mixed with emotions. JB was balwling his eyes out. Dan was laughing his ass off, and Roy was still enraged and out for more revenge.

Dan scraped JB'S hair off his head, he went over and over the sandpaper like stubble until the razor made no sound at all. Not that sound could be heard anyway, as JB was completely hysterical.

The picture at this point was just unreal. A balding man in his 40s, holding a young 20 something celebrity into a chair from behind, the cocky celeb freshly scalped from the hair that made him who he is, some random village idiot wiping a hot towel over the poor dudes head to remove the last bits of cream and stubble from his forced balding. All the while his feet spit on and used as an ashtray to wreck his white socks while his month salary cost sneakers were stolen by the same old prick that balded him against his will.

Roy whispered into JBs ear as JB wept. 'Have you had enough?' 'Yes' JB whimpered, obviously devastated by his ordeal. 'I havent', Roy stated with hate and vitriol, and perhaps a bit of jealousy over JBs natural looks.

Roy looked over at Dan and barked out the most horrid order imaginable. 'Get the zapper!'

'Aw u thur bawth? I think he luwned hith letthon bawth', Dan questioned, feeling a little guilty. He didn't expect JB to be so completely humiliated and guilt began to set in.

'Nevermind I'll do it', Roy yelled. 'But you have to hold him down.' This was no problem for Dan, he was even stronger than Roy and could easily hold JB down.

Dan took Roy's place behind JBs chair and held him tight, his massive arms didn't flinch from JBs struggles. Roy took out some electronic device that he brought in a bag, and plugged it in the wall.

Dan whispered in JBs ear 'I'm thowwy buddy, taths gonna make you pewmanent baw, you gon be baw fowever boy. I'm sowwy I nevew wanted dis, you wewe so cute and now you wuined.

Roy switched on the machine, that looked like an electric shaver but sounded like a bug zapper. He put it to JBs bald head and pressed the button. It was like a big electric shock and a blue arc of energy appeared between the electrodes on his scalp. This was repeated over and over, until each part of his head was violated. JB squealed with each zap, but the assaulters knew it wasn't physically painful, lots of their friends have had it done as they went naturally bald and just wanted to quit shaving every week.

No, JBs screams were from knowing that every zap was another part of his pretty head that would never sprout another hair.

Ans just like that is was over. The guys got up and left. JB sat there crying for about 20 minutes. His concert was about to start, but none of that mattered now. He got up from his chair, contemplated the absolute destruction that was made on his life, touched his bald head, and screamed so loud that it just came out as a raspy little wheeze.

JB looked in every mirror in the room, as if by some miracle, he would have his beautiful hair back if he looked in the right one.

It didn't happen. He looked in every mirror and realized the electrolysis that was inflicted on him. JB smashed out every mirror, as they reminded him of his horrible new fate. It angered him even more that he destroyed the mirrors, as they used to bring him so much joy. So he then started breaking windows, putting holes in walls, tearing doors off hinges while crying and screaming.

JB made his way to the lobby in a humiliated rage, hitting walls all the way down.

The cops were called, obviously. There was a guy destroying the hotel. The guy on the front desk was on the phone with the police asking them to come right away. They were asking for a description of the perpetrator.

JB was so used to everyone knowing who he was. All he ever heard was 'It's JB!' It's that handsome celebrity that's having the show here tonight' it's that gorgeous guy'.

But no, JB just looked at the hotel clerk, totally balded and fists bleeding. And all the clerk could say, over and over on the phone was 'I don't know who it is I dont recognize him! But he's totally bald, I've never seen anyone so bald he has no hair he is completely hairless he looks like a freak!'

And with that new description of what he had become, JB collapsed on the floor, permanently bald, white socks blackened with soot, and laying in a puddle of his own piss.

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