Covid haircut by thadeusz

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When my father died, he left for my mother and me a big factory and more than enough money to let me study whatever I wanted. I must explain here that my mother is a nice lady, but that she is not very intelligent. On the contrary, I was always very good at school and at 16 I had my high school diploma in my pocket. I then decided, with my mother's consent, to start to study mathematics at the nearby college. When I was 17, I had already validated all my first year courses. That’s when covid started !

I was confined, like all my friends, because of that stupid little covid. When covid started, everything came to a halt in my country. We were all confined. The only open shops were those selling food. All the barber shops were closed and that annoyed me a lot: I used to have a rather short haircut and with this confinement my hair grew longer and longer.

By the way, my name is Patrick Colson and at the start of this story I was already in college despite my young age. I had no contact with my friends and with my professor, except when we had a ZOOM session and could communicate via the internet. I had to stay home and keep studying there, and I considered that this lack of human contact, except with my mother, was really painful (my father died when I was 8).

Nevertheless, I had some contacts with a friend of mine : Ned Rochas who was also a student in Mathematics, like me. He was one year older than me.

One day I complained and told Ned (via the internet) that I was tired of this situation: I wanted to have a good haircut. Peter suddenly replied:
"I know a good way to have a serious buzz cut. It would also be a free one."
"Which way ?" was my reply.
"The barbers are closed, but the Army recruiting offices are open."
"Ned, I don’t want to become a soldier !"
"Patrick, you just tell them you want to enlist. They will give you a very short buzz cut and then you say that after all you don’t want to stay in the Army: you have the right to resign during 6 months after you signed your contract."
"Are you sure of that ?"
"Of course I am sure, I checked this morning on the Army recruiting webpage !"

I also checked and Ned was 100% correct. So we agreed to go together the next morning to the recruiting office in our town. I also had to ask my mother to sign a "parental consent" document since I was not yet 18. Everything was thus ready and we went to this Army office together.

When we arrived, there were already several candidates. All looked strong and tall. None seemed to be an intellectual like we were. Nevertheless, we went forward together and explained that this was a common candidacy. The officer in charge explained that all candidates were treated individually and it was only after we had been accepted that we could ask to serve together. Each of us started to fill in a long form and to sign our "agreement to serve in the forces". I had also to give my mother’s written consent, which was scrutinized and accepted.

As soon as that was done, and before we could have our haircut, we were sent to small individual cabins where we were tested by the medical staff. When I came out of this cabin, I was told that I was accepted but that Ned was not: his covid test was positive and he could thus not be enlisted. Since I had been in contact with him, I had to stay isolated for 8 days. Nevertheless, the recruiting officer told me:
"Everything will probably be OK." He handed me some sort of ragged Army uniform saying:
"Put this uniform on immediately. Everything will probably be OK for you but we don’t know for sure. In any case, nobody is allowed to stay on base in civilian clothes."
I did what he said and he took my own clothes "for disinfection". After that he pushed me in a small room, some sort of cell, saying: "You will stay alone here until the end of your compulsory isolation time."


I stayed alone in that cell for 8 days. Every morning a guard, provided with a medical mask, came into this room and checked my temperature. He also took a little bit of blood. Another guard, also provided with a mask, provided me with food three times a day. Both men were obviously in Army uniform, but their uniforms were new and clean. At the end of this 8 days period, the recruiting officer I had met on the first day came in and said:
"Everything is excellent. You are fit for service. You can now resume your incorporation process."

I was first led to the barber room. He told me to sit on his chair and started to shave my head: exactly what I wanted on my first day in this recruiting center. The barber stood behind me. He got hold of my head, not brutally but energetically. He pushed my head forward and started to pass his noisy clippers on it, from top of the head to the nape. He made several passages, making certain that the top and back of my head were now deprived of any hair. He then pushed briskly my head backwards and did the same from front to nape. His next step consisted of turning my head rather energetically to my left in order to have a good access, without moving too much, to this side of my head and be able to shave every single hair on that side. This was followed by a similar movement to the right for a similar purpose. I assumed that the barber had now finished his shaving process, but he pushed my head on my left shoulder to have a good and final access to my right side. He did the same by pushing my head on my right shoulder. After that he changed clippers and took smaller ones to achieve his work around my ears and on my nascent mustache. I had not expected that I would now appear without any hair on my face and I tried to protest, but the barber simply said:
"That’s the rule for new soldiers. If you protest again, I will shave your eyebrows with the rest."
That was enough for me and I kept quiet.
This whole process took much less time than I needed now to describe it !

As soon as the barber was done, he told me:
"Pass your hands over your head and tell me how you feel."
I did as he had told me to do and I felt something like sandpaper. I liked that and I told him that I was glad: "Thank you sir, this is exactly what I wanted."
"I am not a ‘sir’, recruit. I am a Corporal and you must start to react using Army terminology. Go now and get disinfected before you get your uniform and other things."

I left this not too brutal barber and I followed the path he had shown me. There I met another recruiting officer who told me to undress to get my "disinfection" compulsory shower. That’s when I told him:
"I am not going to do that. I don’t want to stay here. I want to go civil."
The recruiting officer looked stunned and sent me to the chief recruiting officer. This was a big man, with a mustache and many stripes on his vest. He looked really imposing.

As soon as I entered his office, I felt that I had to behave well and be polite: the attitude of this man was so imposing that it commanded respect. A recruiting officer came close to him and whispered something in his ear. The commanding man looked at me in my ragged uniform and said:
"So it appears that you want to go civil, young recruit !"
"Yes sir" was my only reply.
"So you believe that after signing a contract with the Army and staying here for a covid test, you can still go away as a free man ?"
"Yes sir, this is mentioned on the Army website, provided the resignation occurs less than 6 months after the signature of this contract."
"Recruit, don’t believe everything that is on a website without verification. Due to the recruitment problems caused by the covid, this ‘resignation possibility’ has been canceled. Moreover, the potential reserve duty associated with this voluntary military service is no longer potential, but compulsory. My boy, you did not know it, but now that you signed a five year contract with the Army, you are in fact here for 10 solid years. Understood recruit ?"
I was really horrified by what this man told me. Horrified and appalled. So I asked:
"Is there really no way to stay civil, sir ?"
"But you are not a civilian, you are a soldier and you asked for it, Recruit. By the way, I am a Colonel and you better call me by that rank, as of now."
"Colonel, in fact I never wanted to join the Army. One of my friends suggested that we use this trick to get a haircut during this covid period and then immediately resign, nothing else."
"So you wanted to cheat ? Well the cheater is caught in his own trap ! Go now and follow the usual recruiting circuit. I will only help you in one way: I will send you later to one of the most wanted regiments. Go now, you will discover to which regiment you will be sent at the end of your basic training. I am doing that for your own good, Recruit. Now go and get your uniform."

I did as I had been told and got my compulsory disinfecting shower which was painful since a soldier used a big hose to put a lot of liquid on me. After that a normal shower followed. I then received my uniform, completely green with a green jungle hat. I also received white gaiters and a white webbing belt. The shoes were high boots and all my personal clothes were confiscated. I was told that they would be kept by my trainers until I had completed basic training.

After that, I was allowed to write a single letter to my mother telling her where I was and adding that this was for 10 solid years.

Basic training started and lasted 3 months. Every week, each new recruit received a compulsory head shave. It was a nightmare for me, but I had no choice. I made friends there, friends who were real volunteers and who told me that I should adopt a positive behavior since in any case I could not do otherwise during the 10 coming years. This is what I tried to do, but the Corporals and the Sergeants kept making fun of me, calling me the haircut-recruit. I tried to fail my Basic training tests, but I was rapidly told that this would simply force me to start it all over and thus add more time to my now 10 years military obligation. So I tried to do better, despite the fact that I had never been good at sports. Eventually, I became a sufficiently good soldier and graduated from Basic training. I even started to like this uniform life with its constant headshaves. I simply regretted my nascent mustache.

At the end of basic training I had a 48 hours pass: a short liberty before being assigned to a regiment. I went home to my mother in my soldier uniform: I was not allowed to be in civvies for the time being.

As soon as I was back in the barracks, I was told where I was assigned as of that day. The Corporal who announced this news told me that this regiment had been chosen for me upon request of the Colonel and in memory of my first steps in the Army and my "wish" to serve for a long time. I had landed in a Special Forces para-commando regiment where I knew I would have a permanent bald head … and nearly no leave.

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