Toastmaster Tom Part 6 by Doug

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Toastmaster Tom Part 6: Unintended Circumstances
My first haircut in June marked my twelfth flattop in three months. I had now gotten more haircuts in the last quarter than in the previous two years combined. By now, Bill was freehanding most of the top because my hair had been so thoroughly re-trained to stay vertical. There was no sign of my old side part, that’s for sure. When I told Bill this was the end of my first dozen, he chuckled. "Do you remember what your hair felt like before?" he asked. In all honesty, that soft, sloppy sensation was fading and my new look had become a deep component of who I was. What I didn’t realize was that I was making an impact on the next generation of boys and their preferred hairstyles as well.

When I was a freshman I landed a part time job at the day care center across from my dorm. It was definitely better than working the cafeteria dish room because I loved working with little kids, and the day care owner was excited to have a male employee so her boys had a positive role model during the day. And it didn’t hurt that I was 10 years younger than any other employee, with a mindset for goofy fun and play—especially in the summer months, when we could get the kids outside more. Like most preschools and childcare centers, we had a sharing circle every morning where kids did things like learn calendar skills, mark the weather, discuss the plan for the day, etc.

Once I had transitioned to a flatty, I always added a joke on Fridays in our sharing circle. After we’d check the weather, I’d say, "It’s time to check the deck!" I’d turn my head to the side and ask "Sides smooth?", then I’d look down and say "any weeds on the landing strip?" and the kids would laugh and say yes or no to both questions. If they said yes to the first or no to the second, I’d say "well, I guess I’m good for another week" and if they said the opposite, I’d say, "Time for a trip to Bill the barber this weekend!" So every other Monday when I returned, they would see that their advice had resulted in a crisp new cut. When kids asked to touch the sides or top, I’d bend down and say "feel that precision" and they’d giggle as they whisked their hands back and forth.

One Friday evening in June, I got a call in my dorm room. It was the mom of one of the boys in the daycare center. She was a single mom with one boy and she and I had had a great rapport for a long time and I was really attached to her son. She apologized for calling and said she had gotten my number from my boss because they figured I was the best person to help out with this particular problem. Apparently her son, Jeffrey, had decided to give himself a "trim" before dinner and had created what sounded like a rough landing strip at his crown with a pair of dull scissors. When his mom asked him why he had done that, he said he wanted to "get rid of the weeds on his landing strip" like me. My face totally flushed and I apologized to her profusely. But she wasn’t having it. "It’s not your fault, that’s not why I’m calling. I’m calling because I’m not sure how we’re going to repair this and I was thinking your barber is clearly good at short hair, so I was wondering if you could tell me where this ‘Bill the barber’ works I keep hearing about from Jeffrey so I can take him there in the morning. If he wants it short for the summer, it doesn’t bother me, but we sure can’t leave it like this!" We hung up and I chuckled, curious about how Bill would end up sorting it all out in the morning.

On Monday, Jeffrey and his mom came in. On Friday, Jeffrey had left with a typical young boy late 70s/early 80s floppy bangs/single length covering the ears/back over the shirt collar home trim look. Today he arrived with a cut that largely mirrored my own. He looked like a different kid. Bill had left him some very light sideburns and some fuzz at the crown so he wouldn’t look too military, but other than those light modifications he was waxed up straight and clean cut. Extremely cute, in fact.

He was beaming as he said, Look Mr. H, smooth sides and no weeds on my landing strip!" He ran off to put his stuff in his cubby.

His mom just shook her head when she saw me. "There’s wasn’t much left on top. Bill and I figured his option was a burr all over or go for the Mr. H look he wanted. I have to admit it, I think he looks adorable. This new look may outlast the summer!"

"I’m sorry again," I said. "When I added my Friday haircut report I was just trying to add some fun to the routine. I never thought anyone would think it applied to them."

"Don’t give it second thought," she said. "He looks up to you so much. You should be flattered."

I chuckled. "How could I not be? Of course now he’s upstaged me with his cuteness, so there’s that. You’re also going to be taking him to the barber a lot more often if he keeps it."

Jeffrey turned into a trend. I think other parents saw this as an opportunity to get some easy care cuts for their boys. Over the course of the next two weeks, four other boys showed up with clipper cuts, dropping an amazing amount of hair from view in just a short time. Two kids had classic butch cuts, one came in sporting a brush cut—rounded, not squared off—and a final arrived with a very short ivy league—buzzed crewcut short in the back and over most of the top, but with enough left toward the front for some short, side-swept bangs. Here was this day care center cluster of boys who had moved on to the next trend of shorter hair that arrived elsewhere in the late 80s, jump-started by a flatty and his little mini-me.

And Jeffrey’s mom turned out to be right. None of those boys returned to longer hair in the fall. I think once the parents got a taste for those clean-cut looks, they decided to keep their boys in good shape moving forward. By Christmas break there were no boys left in my group of 15 with hair covering their ears—even the scissor-cut boys were getting tighter trims. I guess I left that place better than I found it! I would love to know if any of those boys, like me, ended up locking into short cuts from then on.

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