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Toastmaster Tom Part 7 by Doug
Toastmaster Tom Part 7: The Middle Years
My parents were a little shocked by my transition back to the future, but they generally didn’t say anything until the beginning of my senior year rolled around. My dad was worried that my unusual look wouldn’t play well when interviewing for marketing and advertising jobs. I told him I didn’t think it would matter, but he said I really had to move "toward the middle" in terms of style or I might not get far in the application process. I respected my dad’s viewpoint, but didn’t want to move much in my look. So whenever I had an on-campus interview that year, I would skip a round with the barber to soften my look a bit. My friends thought this was hilarious, since they were running to the styling salon to get their hair under control BEFORE their interviews.
Anyway, I did land a job at Leo Burnett Company in Chicago—when I started I discovered that ad agencies are places where people have more freedom to create their own look. The funny part was tracking those who were comfortable and natural in whatever style they chose versus people who attempted to curate a look that suggested they were creative and individualistic. For some reason, a curated look turns out to be like being cool in general. If you have to say you’re cool, you’re definitely not. In that environment, my look worked for me because I was actually very comfortable in my skin and didn’t care what my coworkers thought. That self confidence played well and put me in a position where my hair might even have become a positive factor in my advancement. Finally in control of my own budget, I quickly went to contact lenses, and then later added colorful frames to accent my clothing when I wanted to. I also had a Chicago barber who was more "urban professional" in his approach, and that resulted in my hair looking more "on trend" without being much longer than my shortest cuts back in school. Can’t explain it, but somehow he shaped it in a way that felt less retro. He "interpreted the flattop well" might be a way to say it.
When my son came along some years after graduating, I synchronized his hair regimen with my own (it helped that I married a woman who loved a tightly buzzed man). By age two, he had a nice crewcut and by age 3 he had enough thickness to move him into a matching flattop to mine. Every two weeks, without fail, we bonded at the barbershop. I wanted short hair and a tidy look to be ingrained into him from the start. Once school started, my wife and I agreed that in the bell curve of hairstyles from short to long we saw in his classrooms, we’d keep him to the left of center but not all the way to the tail end. That way he’d be fashionable, but on the shorter side at all times. Even though the range of boys’ hairstyles was much broader in his day than in mine, I never wanted him to feel "othered" by his hair the way I was when my parents were slow to adjust to trend. For our son, that meant full ears, short tapered back, and never enough hair on top to look sloppy. But that still left him plenty of variations and he experimented with a wide range of different styles.
In his later elementary years, our barber retired and young guy took over his place. Dave quickly became the favorite barber I’ve ever had. He’s in his early 40s now and still operates out of the same little hole in the wall barbershop. His clientele ranges from about 2 to 90, and I love to watch him work because every client leaves looking perfect for who they are. He does almost all his work with clippers and comb regardless of client hair length, including things like point cutting. Our community is an interesting melting pot of cultures, with a large population of younger Indian and eastern Asian families, some Black families, and some Middle Eastern families in addition to the White households that used to dominate the area 40 years ago. As a result, Dave has become adept with a wide range of hair types and desired styles. In a single visit you might see him tackle a little boy’s clean cut, a middle schooler’s French crop, a high schooler’s mid-fade, and an elderly man’s crewcut. One other skill I watched Dave develop over the years because of client demand is straight razor head shaves. Watching him wrap a client’s head in a steamy towel and then expertly apply warm gel and scrape their head clean has been one of those special treats when I’m waiting for my turn some days. Important point I will return to later.
In one of my favorite moments a few months back, he was cutting an Albanian immigrant middle schooler’s hair and asked him if he wanted to keep his sideburns. The boy jumped in the chair because he knew the word "burn" but he clearly didn’t know what the barber meant by "sideburn." Dave reassured him it was a style feature and nothing painful! Just one example of young man discovering his own style in Dave’s chair.
Anyway, I enjoyed watching Dave with my son over the years because whatever picture my son ever showed Dave regarding a new style either resulted in an amazing replica of the cut or good advice about why the cut wouldn’t work with his hair followed by a suggestion for something similar that would. In the summer before my son started middle school, there was a high schooler in the chair before us who was getting a buzzcut with high fade tuned up. He was athletic and complaining about how bad summer football practice was beating him up. My son was obviously impressed with this guy.
Right before he replaced the guy in Dave’s chair, he leaned over and asked, "can I get my haircut like him?" I immediately said "sure" because he had lately gone with long-to-the-eyebrow bangs that I really didn’t like because he didn’t like any high maintenance styles. By then he only went with me every other trip because he looked fine with 4-week trims. I whispered back, "but that style requires more frequent cuts to stay sharp. You’d be back here with me every two weeks if you keep it."
He jumped into the chair without looking back. When Dave asked him what they were doing today, he said "I want mine cut just like the last guy." Dave looked over at me and I nodded and shrugged my shoulders. Dave didn’t need any more convincing. As he started setting a fade line, my son’s face looked a little intense as we watched in the opposite mirror—I think that first point always makes the customer look like a medieval monk before the line gets taken out. I was a grand spectator to all this and imagined little thought bubbles coming from my son as the cut progressed. As Dave finished the sides and moved to the top, he began mowing the top from front to back, quickly eliminating those stupid bangs.
He asked my son why the change and he replied, "new school, new hair, I guess." I think he was narrowing into what would become his own personal look. Dave did an excellent line-up in the front, complete with straight razor detailing, and my son left his chair looking very precise and more mature than when he sat down. I couldn’t have been more pleased with him. As we drove home I watched him rubbing his hand up his nape and clearly loving the feel. It took me back to my first tight flattop. In some ways, a modern lined-up buzzcut fade has a lot of the same properties of a flattop of old. I think the same personality type is attracted to this idea of a style that is extremely crisp and often alters or enhances the man’s natural hair line. I didn’t really think about that until I was looking at the effect it had on my son.
In fact, my son never let his hair get much longer than that from then on. I expected he’d come back from college with new styles, but even when he was a long time between visits, a weekend home invariably included a trip to see Dave and an excellent, short tune-up. I guess my "evil" plan worked, resulting in a clean-cut young man who appreciated a good barbered look.
