Ted Transformed by Manny

---

Entering the traditional barber shop felt strange to Ted.

Not because it was unabashedly a man’s world with baseball and ice hockey paraphernalia adorning the walls. No, it felt strange because the barber shop was uncharted territory. A sport re-run was playing on the TV that was wedged catty-corner into the waiting area. The TV obviously was positioned for the barbers and the men getting their hair cut, all of whom faced away from the mirror. It was definitely not for the benefit of those waiting to be shorn.

Though there was really little to be nervous about, Ted felt his blood pressure surging, unsure of the shop protocol. Nothing about it approached the salon environment he was used to. In the barber shop, everything was out in the open for all to watch, no private styling booths. High, throne-like chairs on massive enamel bases dominated, not low-slung semi-recliners. And then there was the pervasive harsh glow of neon instead of track mood-lighting. And the barbers! No tasty little tarts in tight skirts prancing about, making moon-eyes, asking him if he'd checked-in on-line.

The barber in the middle gave Ted a crisp 'hello' as he entered the shop. He was a youngish fellow, husky in build, with his hair cropped to the shortest of military lengths.

As Ted took a seat along the wall, he caught sight of himself in the mirror behind the barbers. His thick hair with gentle waves was definitely overgrown and needing to get shaped up. The longer length showcased more of Ted's natural sheen and unique, fiery highlights that accented his chestnut-colored locks. In a way, he was a bit partial to his longer hair, but there was a point when longish turned into shaggy (and he was well into that territory). In fact, the overgrowth was approaching 'mop' territory!

Ted was "between jobs" and needing to keep expenses down. When he saw a notice at the salon check-in desk warning clients of across-the-board price increases (again!), he decided to find a new place to get groomed. Someone had told him that haircuts at barber shops only cost a fraction of a salon coif; the small sign above the barber shop's cash register confirmed that: $16. Too bad he wasn’t a senior, policeman or firefighter — they got special, reduced rates!

Ted ran his fingers through his hair to force the forelock off his forehead somewhat. So soft….ah! He felt a bit self-conscious with such long hair. None of the men in the barber shop had anything approaching his length. In back, his hair was particularly full and long, to the base of the collar. It was good he’d bitten the bullet and found a new place to get it cut.

Ted looked around the shop again. One vintage type sign announced the barber was a flattop specialist! Hell, no! While he was prepared to submit to a barber for the first time, he would not be getting a flattop. Not even close!

Ted’s eyes wandered to a chart of men’s haircuts to the right of the mirrored area. His eyes locked onto options at the back — blocked versus tapered. The big line of clippers that hung from the formica counter also caught his attention. No, not tapered! On second thought, the ‘low and tight’ wasn’t as bad as the other lengths, all of which were very minimalist. If he went with a low and tight, it would be his first ever experience with electric hair clippers. He pictured himself in the big chair, caped, head pushed forward and clippers at the nape. Gee whiz! Scary...exciting?

Then his eye wandered across the chart to the flattop -- this time featured with a photo. Talk about scalped! The flattop was totally off the table....

After all, Ted was a businessman! He was comfortable with a longish executive coif. It would be the "professional" cut with a blocked back for him….at least he’d learned one bit of barber terminology!

The three barbers were all wielding clippers. And the haircuts being administered were all very short! Suddenly, Ted got a pit feeling in his stomach. Perhaps this was NOT the place for him! He squirmed a bit in the hard chair. Leave now! But he felt frozen. The hum of the clippers was a bit mesmerizing, like distant cicadas on a summer evening.

As he shifted nervously, Ted kept a close eye on the clippers at work….how quickly the hair fell away as they were taken to the men’s locks. He closed his eyes and his mind drifted. Ted imagined one of the barbers taking the clippers tight up the back of his head -- no questions asked. Hair falling away in sheaves, piling around the young barber's shoes. Ted suddenly felt a strange stiffening….oh my, was that what he secretly desired? Was this the day to get shorn tight, his first clipper cut?! Ted crossed his legs nervously.

He looked up and saw the middle barber staring at him as he cut his caped client's hair.

"Your first time here?" the barber asked.

"Yep," Ted said, gratefully dragged back into reality by the question.

"That's what I thought. Welcome," the barber replied and then returned his attention to the haircut he was giving.

Ted's mind continued racing. He found himself hoping that the young, husky barber would cut his hair. He told himself to play things safe -- just ask for a bit of a trim, shape things up. Period! There was the job interview later in the week to keep in mind. He needed to look good, to look professional -- not scalped.

His eyes locked back onto the clippers. Such powerful, transformative machines. He ran his fingers quickly through his hair again -- a nervous habit. Having a lot of it clipped off would be a money saver. After all, that's why he'd opted for the barber shop in the first place. And changes were good (sometimes).

Ted warmed to going beyond the overgrowth getting tidied up. Perhaps it was time to shed the length and have his lush mane pruned. A bit, or a lot? A lot!! A shorter haircut would save money…..to have all the length whacked off! He squirmed with excitement at the possibility. His eyes glanced over to the 'flattop specialist' sign. OMG!! Could he do that?! No! Absolutely not.

The biggest set of clippers looked to have a large white circle on a black background. Or was that a letter O? The teeth looked so menacing. Again, Ted imagined himself in the young, beefy barber’s chair, head bent low and the clippers stripping away his prized chestnut hair. Clumps falling to the floor, piling up at the barber’s feet. The barber shearing him to the same length he sported!!

As his mind wandered, Ted lost track of the actual situation in the shop…he was temporarily unavailable, in a fantasy land…

….until the barber’s voice resonated clearly, "You’re next!"

Ted looked up to see the beefy barber pointing at him and tapping the back of the barber chair lightly. The barber smiled warmly, with an eager look on his face. That lush chestnut-colored mane with fiery auburn highlights attracted him.

Ted mustered his courage and rose from his chair in the waiting area.

The barber smiled more broadly as Ted walked slowly, a bit awkwardly, toward the big chair where his hair would be cut.

Ted had never had his hair cut facing away from the mirror. This might be perhaps the biggest contrast with his usual salon experience where the stylist asked repeatedly for confirmation as small snips here and there were gingerly removed.

He climbed up onto the sturdy steel footrest. The comfort of the chair put him at ease somewhat, but he still felt nervous.

"Glad you decided to give our shop a try," the barber said in a friendly tone as he gently patted Ted's shoulder.

Then, he cast the cape. The white sheet billowed through the air and floated down over Ted's tense torso.

"I’m Lee," the barber announced.

"And I'm Ted," the client replied as Lee swathed his neck in a band of tissue.

Then, the barber pulled the cape tightly and secured it with a big metal clip, struggling a bit with the locks that hung long at the back.

"Looks like it’s been a while," Lee commented in a breezy manner. His fingers lingered a bit in the soft, shiny hair.

Then, the barber ran a comb through Ted’s locks, forcefully pulling it in some places. The thickness and length made the cursory combing hurt a tad.

"It's actually been more than a while," Ted replied, feeling a bit embarrassed about the length of his hair. "It's gotten so long."

"Any special instruction?" Lee asked.

Ted swallowed nervously. His mind had been in such a state of flux since entering the shop that he had no idea how to respond.

Finally, he eked out, "No, not really…."

The barber gave Ted a quick shoulder massage, as if to signal he was aware of his new client's nervousness.

"Something short," the barber announced, combing down the forelock. It fell like a heavy drape past Ted’s eyes.

The combing continued as Lee took the shears from the chest pocket of his tunic and primed them a bit. "Let's take care of things, then...." he said as the shears came up to the bulky forelock.

Ted wanted to say, ‘I like my bangs on the long side….’ but he remained silent, gripping the arms of the chair beneath the cape for support.

The shears hit at the mid-point of his forehead!! The cold blade announced the intended length. Ted was too stunned to react. He sat through the first assault on his overgrown thatch.

SNIP, SNIP, SNIP, SNIP!!

Lee sheared off the lengthy fringe with determination, sending three inches of Ted’s bangs to the cape.

Ted watched it fascinated alarm as clumps of hair fell to the cape. How must he look with short bangs?!

But the snipping wasn’t finished yet.

Lee stilled Ted's head with his hand and came for a second round with the shears. A bit higher on the forehead he went, above the mid-point.

SNIP, SNIP, SNIP, SNIP!

Ted was in for a big transformation. He knew it! And suddenly felt excited about it. Curiously excited!

"You’ll leave here looking like a new man," Lee noted with a tone of satisfaction in his voice.

Ted squirmed a bit — a promise or a threat….or both?!

"Good," was all Ted could muster as he stared in amazement at the pile of hair in his lap.

"And, hopefully, I’ll have a new regular," the young beefy barber said, again soothing his client with a bit of a hand massage.

With that, he reached for the clippers.

"Medium or short for the taper?" the barber asked.

The machine was already on and purring like a puma!

"What do you recommend, Lee?" Ted asked.

"The shorter, the better, in my opinion," Lee replied.

Ted gulped. Suddenly he was overcome with curiosity. Why not?! Do it, he thought to himself as he continued studying the hair in his lap. As much as he admired his handsome head of hair, the cut clumps on the white cloth mesmerized him. He imagined the whole cape covered with shorn locks of chestnut.

"I trust your professional opinion," Ted replied calmly.

With that, the barber gently, but firmly, pushed Ted’s head forward and then adjusted it into a downward gaze. Ted froze in place, his head bowed, awaiting the clippers.

Lee snagged the mullet-like flow that hung from the nape with a comb and then unleashed the clippers.

Tight on the neck and up into the nape they climbed. In one swift move, Lee scooped off a mass of hair from the nape. A jolt ricochetted through Ted’s body. The vibration of the clippers on his nape felt exhilarating. Then a second drive in quick succession took the clippers tight up the scalp to the midpoint before easing away.

"You’ll feel much better without all this," the barber said confidently.

The third drive when all the way up the back, in an aggressive, short taper.

Ted imagined his locks piling up on the floor of the barbershop.

He gripped the arms of the chair, under the cape. A thought shot through his mind. No, he shouldn’t….!!!! The excitement of the idea made him hard as a baseball bat.

Ted cleared his throat. The clipping up the back of his head continued unabated.

"I was thinking…." Ted said, unable to contain himself.

Then he blurted it out. "….your haircut. I mean, your length, Lee."

"A high and tight? On your very first visit?" Lee asked, a bit skeptical.

"It looks very maintenance free," Ted said, feeling a surge of excitement. He was certain that he wanted to leave the barbershop looking totally different.

The barber snapped off the clippers. Then, he had Ted sit up and look directly at him.

"Are you sure? This short?!" Lee turned to clearly show the back. Clipped down to just a hint of stubble. "A #0 blade means near bald on the sides and back."

"And those little spikes in front? How long?" Ted asked.

"Just enough length to pinch together — a quarter to half inch," Lee said.

Ted swallowed hard. "That’s what I want. A completely new look!"

"Without this flow, it'll be hard to recognize you, Ted," the barber said, wistfully stroking the soft hair at his disposal. "But, I understand. You're here for a big change. And you will get one!"

Ted winced. It was proclaimed with such finality. There was no possibility of backing away from his date with the #0 blade.

"Do you want to watch it all come off, or be surprised at the end?" Lee asked.

"Can I watch?" Ted asked.

"Of course," Lee said before he swiveled the chair around slowly.

Ted gasped as his image in the mirror came into view. The truncated bangs were shockingly short.

"Let’s give you a show!" Lee said, snapping the clippers on again.

With a comb, he lifted the short bangs and took the clippers straight across the plastic teeth. What was left of the fringe came off in a flash.

"WHOA!" Ted gasped.

"And now, for this drape of hair over your ear," Lee laugh. Up the side, through the temple and to the top of Ted’s head the clippers flew, sending masses of shorn locks to his shoulder. Mounds of cut chestnut piled up briefly before a heavy load slide down the cloth drape and collected in his lap.

Ted stared at the nake said of his head, feeling woozy and lightheaded.

"Love to do that," Lee laughed. "No backing out now, Buddy. I’ll have you looking like a handsome soldier in minutes."

"That’s a lot of hair coming off," Ted commented in a semi-mournful tone as he watched his mane succumb to the efficiency of the Oster clippers.

"People will be pretty shocked to see the new you, I’d imagine," Lee said.

"Sure will," Ted agreed. "I’ve never worn my hair short, much less to a military length."

The two watched the rest of the transformation in silence as more hair hit the cape and floor. Ted began imaging the person reflected in the mirror was someone else, finding it hard to recognize himself. The hair in his lap….so much of it!

"I’ll probably get some questions and some ribbing," Ted said absent-mindedly.

"Compliments too, I hope," Lee added. "I’d like to give you the full works — lather-shaved sides and back."

"You mean, even shorter than it is now?" asked Ted.

"Yep, scraped clean," Lee said.

"I’ve come this far, why not?" Ted said, still a bit dazed by the severity of the cut.

Lee was generous with the lather as he massaged it over the sides and back. Then the razor began scraping away the stubble and foam.

Ted groaned with delight. "That feels awesome," he swooned.

"One day you might opt to go totally clean. Everything scraped smooth. A cueball," Lee teased.

Ted shivered at the thought. He had come so far….why not go all the way.

"Perhaps today’s that day," Ted said feeling another surge of excitement, despite the ambivalence. "Should I have you take it all off? Shave me smooth all over?!"

Lee beamed. "I love this!" he exclaimed as he applied more lather to Ted’s head.

"This was the farthest thing from my thought when I came in here today," Ted said as he waited for the razor to begin scraping his sides and back clean.

"I thought for sure you would ask for ‘just a trim’," Lee confided. "I mean, such thick, long hair."

He reached down into Ted’s lap and brushed up against the woody.

Ted blushed.

"But the transformation was quite exciting, wasn’t it?" Lee said, again intruding on Ted’s privacy.

Lee placed a warm moist towel on Ted’s freshly shaved head and wiped off the remnants of lather. "So handsome with a tight pelt on top and skinned sides," he murmured in Ted’s ear. "I hope you come back often."

Ted grinned, "I don’t want to leave actually."

Lee played with the clipped pelt. "So, I have a new regular client? Come back in two weeks. I'm going to give you an amazing flattop!"

"For sure!" exclaimed Ted imagining erect bristles on top. "But, I might not be able to stay away that long...."

---