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Sorry Wrong Number by Steve
I always cut my hair shorter for the summer, but little did I know this summer it would change. I headed off to my barber Mike before heading up to the lake for summer vacation.I had been following this routine for the last 30 years. I normally went to see Mike first thing in the morning. His shop was open at 7am and Saturdays it was open at 6am. I should have look at all the signs that something bad was going to happen. I got up late because my alarm didn`t go off. I couldn`t find my wallet or car keys and when I finally did it was already 12:30 am . All I could think was when I got to Mikes I would be waiting for hours. I drove by looking for a parking space and it looked good, no one was waiting. When I walked up to the shop door there was a little note saying , Closing today at 12:00 . Thanks Mike . Now what. I needed a haircut bad. I decided against my better judgement to look for another barbershop. I remember a small old barbershop just around the corner from the bank . As I got close to the door all I was thinking was `this isn`t a good idea`. I pulled open the door and directly in front of me was the barber. He was sitting in the chair reading a paper. He looked up and said `come in have seat`.He was about 70 years old and sounded Russian . I sat in the barber chair and in seconds I was caped, a paper strip was placed around my neck and the cape was tightly fastened. The trouble really started when his first words were ` you need haircut boy, I fix good ` . My hair was only a inch and half on the side and 3 inches on top.What was he thinking . He grabbed the hair on the back of my head , ` no good , you like girl `. I was facing the mirror and then suddenly he turned me away. I wanted to get up and run out , but I couldn`t move. I said ` I want it short for the summer` Ok good, he said with joy. You zero on the side yes. NO ! I want it four and a little longer on the top. With that I could hear him pick up the clippers and with a snap sound the blade was changed . Click and they started to hum. His hand was placed firmly on my head and pushed it down .He ran the machine slowly up and all the way to the crown. This continued on the entire back of my head and with a strong jerk of my head he stared on the sides. I could see hair falling but I could see how much. At that, with a flip a big chunk landed the cape. Oh my god . What was he doing. Next came the top. He changed blades, combed the top and then it happed . He placed the clippers at the front of my head and plowed right back. I never experienced that before. I thought I was going to exploed. After more clipping and snipping he placed doen his tools and said, ` I shave sides and back ` My barber Mike always did this so it was normal.The cape was undone. He applied the hot lather higher than Mike ,again I thought `what is he doing` The blade made its` first swipe. I felt halfway up my head. He finished all around and picked up the small clippers and began buzzing more.This was followed by a splash of aftershave. My neck was dusted and he slowly turned me towards the mirror. I was horrified. I had no hair on the side and a shadow of hair on the top. He showed me the back with the mirror .It was the same. My voice quivered as I said `I wanted four on the sides and a little longer on the top` Ya dat is right he said . Four zero on sides and little long on top five zero now you look like man .When I said number four he thought I was correcting the number of zeros I wanted. This summer my cut was four zeros on the side and five zeros on top. The high shave was , as he said ` to make nice clean.I payed him and left the shop rubbing my head . I now looked like a Marine. The lesson learned, is make sure you order the right number or don`t look for a new barber.