A barber story by Brown

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I have a barber shop and a while ago this young man with shoulder length black hair came into my shop. He seemed very shy. I greeted him and gestured him to take a seat on my barber chair. After camping him up I took a better look of his hair and appearance. He's a handsome young man with with a sharp jawline. His skin was fair but his hair was dark. He sported a stubble beard and shoulder length hair. I was surprised to see how some of his hair was matted and tangled. His hair wasn't dirty by any means but it was obvious that he didn't know how to maintain long hair. I asked the young man how he wanted his hair cut and he shifted awkwardly in the chair and couldn't keep eye contact as he explained that he only had $5 but he really wanted to get rid of the tangles in his long hair.

I felt kind of insulted that he had the audacity to come into my barber shop with only $5 when the price of a haircut in my shop is clearly $30. I told the young man, "Haircuts here cost $30 but I can remove all of this tangled mess for $5."

The young man seemed happy with my response and thanked me. I took my clippers out, tossed the plastic guard, and shaved a path right down the middle of his head.

The young man's eyes widened in disbelief as he stammered, "why are you shaving my head bald?"

I laughed and shaved another path down his scalp as I mocked him, "You asked me to get rid of the tangled hair and that's what I'm doing. A simple headshave is appropriate for $5 and is a quick solution to your problem."

The young man began sobbing as I pushed his head dow and ran the clippers up his neck. I threw the shorn hair up into the air as it fell infront of him. I picked one of the gross tangled locks and slowly shaved it off as I threw it on his lap. I has so much fun moving his head around as I sheared away his tangled hair.

The young man continued to sob as I grasped his shorn head and began shaving his beard off as well. Once the buzzing was finished. I rubbed his prickly shorn head and told him, "You're really getting your money's worth. That $5 got rid of all that disgusting tangled matted hair. You were a dirty boy and now you look cleaner."

I began spraying water on his shorn head and applied shaving cream through out his head. Then I got a cheap bic razor and began shaving away the stubble. He looked so cute crying as his head was lathered up in shaving cream. I began to scrape of the stubble, the scraping sound was music to my ears and it was also satisfying to see his stubble scraped away to reveal a white clammy head.

I didn't feel like applying a second round of shaving cream and shaving him again for a completely smooth look as it took a lot of time. So I left his bald head which was mostly smooth with some exceptions of a more course shadow in some parts of his head.

I moved on to shave the stubble of his "beard" I grabbed his little bald head and began spraying his face. He winced as I purposely sprayed his entire face just because it was funny to mock him. I applied shaving cream to his 5 o'clock shadow beard and shaved it completely smooth.

He looked older without his hair. Yes, he does look cleaner without his tangled mess and his stubble beard but he no longer has his youthful charm. His clammy bald head and lack of facial hair made him look like a bare canvas without any art. He simply looked plain.

The young man stared down at the floor sadly as I applied after shave on his face and clammy bald head which wasn't entirely smooth. To my disgust I noticed he had dandruff. I quickly took out a jar of peanut butter and began applying it on his bald head.

The young man was shocked and asked in despair, "what are you doing?"

I continued lathering his bald head with peanut butter as I told him, "Your disgusting bald head has dandruff. Peanut butter will help decrease the dandruff problem."

The young man defeated hung his head low in silence as I continued to rub peanut butter on every part of his bald head that once had hair. I obviously didn't apply peanut butter on his face because that would be silly and mean spirited.

I washed my hands and admired my work. This young man no longer had disgusting tangled hair. Now he's a bare canvas with peanut butter on his bald head. I uncapped him and reminded him that he shouldn't expect barbers to spend precious time untangeling his nasty hair for $5 and that beggars shouldn't be picky. He was silent, tossed the $5 on my table and simply left my barber shop. The audacity he had for not thanking me for my services has traumatized me to this day.

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