The Long Game by Andrew Johnson

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Good things take time. That’s the motto that lived in the back of Benji’s mind everyday. Benji had been working as an amateur barber since his freshman year, and now that he was a senior, he was finally ready to execute his master plan. For years now, he’d been servicing teen and college age boys out of his parent’s garage. Over time, he had created a pseudo-barbershop space, fit with little decorations he’d thrifted and picked up from garage sales, and even a TV that he could play sports games on while he was cutting his youthful clientele. The young men he worked on often just wanted the trendy styles that constantly graced their Tik Tok and Instagram feeds. Benji couldn’t blame them. In order to attract his customers, he’d maintained his own fluffy blond Tik Tok Boy hairdo. But he was about to change everything. And the boys he barbered would be helpless to stop him.

Each piece had been carefully placed the day Benji invited a couple of his bros to let him freshen up their heads. Trent, Adam, Lucas, and Kyler had been loyal customers from the onset of Benji’s venture, and, in a way, he was about to reward them for it. Benji wasn’t sure they would see it that way, but at this point, it didn’t really matter what they wanted. Trent was first in the door, his straight brown hair having been given texture and volume by some cream or powder. Trent was one of Benji’s oldest friends, and they fit together like peanut butter and jelly, Trent’s jovial nature blending nicely with the oftentimes self serious Benji. Next came Adam, who probably had the shortest hair of the bunch, but with this group, his black fluffy bangs were still rather customary. One of the few Wasian kids in town, Adam had been more than happy to be welcomed into the group by the other boys. Lucas’s eyes were obscured by his strawberry blond waves, but his smile lines were still evident every time he spoke. Lucas was hardly ever serious, and neither was his party in the back mullet. Lastly, Kyler and his near-afro of ginger curls had been in the most desperate need of taming when he first came to Benji. Now, the slacker’s hair was much better groomed, even if he had let the rest of his self-maintenance fall to the wayside. All the boys were physically fit and muscled, often hanging out together in the gym or on the soccer or baseball fields. Benji hoped that what he was about to do wouldn’t ruin those hang outs. Still, his mission needed to be accomplished.

The boys shot the breeze for a little bit, talking about girls, sports, and all the other usual gossip of teenage boyhood. Finally, Benji, started his masterstroke.
"Trent, you up first?" If his plan was going to work on anybody, it was going to be Trent.
"Yeah sure," Trent replied, "Need me to take my shirt off?" Benji had long ago invested in capes, but sometimes his customers subconsciously longed for the days of backyard buzzcuts forced by their fathers. Today, Trent would relive approximately half of those sensations. For Benji’s plan to work, though, the cape was necessary.
"No you’re good, come have a seat." As Trent sat down, Benji fluttered the black and white striped cape out in front of him, almost like a matador about to corral a bull. Slowly, Trent’s eyes began to dim, his muscles relaxed, and he started to slouch. Benji quickly tied the cape around Trent’s neck, adjusting his posture in the process. Then he asked the question, the one that would reveal whether or not all of his careful planning had been worth it, or fruitless.
"So, what’ll it be?"

Trent felt as though he was seeing through dense fog. He tried to speak, to tell Benji that he would just have his usual trim, but instead, he heard a voice identical to his, if slightly deeper, say,
"Bald."
Benji almost couldn’t contain his excitement, not that he’d need to. All his customers sat semi-lifeless, entirely entranced. This had been his goal. His mission since day one. Every choice he’d made, technique, decor, television, even cape pattern, had led to this moment. Benji loathed the hair of his peers. He’d long ago decided that a good boy was a bald boy, and he’d made it his mission to bald up as many boys as he could. But he was wise, and he was subtle. He learned psychological tricks, basic hypnosis, anything he could to make his clients believe that, no, they didn’t want hair, they wanted to be bald. Over the past several months, during each of the boys’ trims and maintenance cuts, he’d instilled subconscious triggers, and today, he had utilized them all. Now, the subconscious had been swapped with the conscious, and each of these boys wanted nothing more than to sit in Benji’s chair and be shaved to the wood. Even still, he played it up.

"Oh wow Trent, are you sure? That’ll be a huge change? Is that what you want bro?"
"Bald." Trent was screaming inside of his mind, but nobody can be expected to hear what he was saying in there.
"Well, if that’s what you want…one baldie coming up!" Benji grabbed his clippers, and took the plunge. Straight puffs of brown hair flew to the floor as he mercilessly plowed through Trent’s pelt, starting from the center of the forehead and working back. Trent sat there and took it. Inside, he wailed. The other boys watched silently, their trances being deepened with each arc of the clippers. Soon enough, Trent’s bangs had been reduced to stubble, then the rest of the top of his head, then the back and sides.
Trent stared at Benji’s perfectly placed mirror. If he could have, he would have been weeping. But Benji had trained his boys well. Then, there was only a shadow of brown atop Trent’s head. He figured he hadn’t had hair this short since he’d popped out of the womb. Benji, however, wasn’t finished. He set down the clippers. He revealed a can of shaving cream, and a razor. Delicately, he coated Trent’s closely buzzed head in a thick layer of cream. Then, he finished the job. Using the sharply bladed razor, he removed every trace of hair from Trent’s head. Then, for good measure, he applied another layer of cream, and went over Trent’s smooth head one last time. Nearly satisfied with his work, Benji had one last step to complete. He took out a container of baby oil, and gently oiled Trent’s completely bald head. Taking a towel that was almost as starkly white as Trent’s shaved head, Benji buffed the boy’s head till it shined and gleamed like a precious gem. This was, after all, precious to Benji. He had succeeded in his aim. He was victorious. But that didn’t mean the fun was over. His eyes turned to the three remaining boys.

"Well Trent, I think it looks amazing. You really pull it off!" Trent sat silently, not even daring to touch his head, lest the reality of his situation become apparent. "Who’s up next? Adam?" Benji’s eyes glinted wickedly. Adam had looked up to both Benji and Trent since he’d moved here, and now he was about to take on the look of the latter role model. As Trent moved out of the chair, deeply entranced, Adam took his place.
"Adam, what can I do for you?" Benji already knew what the answer would be, but he could still delight in hearing it.
"Bald, please." Adam said. Benji smiled. The "please" was an indicator that his plan was working perfectly. As each boy watched the others lose every ounce of hair on their heads, they’re enthusiasm for baldness would grow. Ideally, by the time he spoke with his last client, they’d be begging to be shaved down. Again, Benji grabbed his clippers, and began the process of eliminating any remnants of modern trends from the younger man’s head.

Adam’s inner thoughts weren’t as tortured as Trent’s had been. Rather than intense sadness and anger, Adam was more confused than anything. Bald? He’d never really thought about going bald until today. It didn’t seem like such a bad thing to try out. He did like his hair…but he probably would like his hairless head just as much. "Bald."

Benji took great pleasure in stripping Adam’s head of his dark hair. This was right, this was correct. Boys should be bald. With each pass of the clippers, Benji’s satisfaction grew, his resolve deepened. As dark hair hit the ground, he knew this endeavor was worth it. The clippers cut like a knife through warm butter, and Adam’s initial buzzing was finished twice as quickly as Trent’s had been. Then came the close shave, and then the polish. In no time at all, Adam and Trent shared matching bald, shiny heads. Pleased with his handiwork, Benji moved on to his next project. This one, he was going to savor.

"Lucas, I think it’s your turn." Lucas’s legs betrayed him, rising out of his seat, and sinking into Benji’s chair. Lucas had loved his mullet. He’d grown it out so intentionally. He didn’t want to ever cut it off, much less go completely bald! But it was like his body was under a control that was not his own. Benji had hated Lucas’s mullet. Each time he had trimmed it up, Benji could barely disguise his sneer. If baldness was the natural way of things, mullets were by far the most unnatural. When Benji had been deciding which of his customers to start shaving, Lucas had been at the top of his list. His voice dripped with glee as he asked,
"Lucas, what are we doing with this head of yours? Mullet maintenance? Maybe a fade?"Through gritted teeth, Lucas replied.
"Bald." Benji tugged at the back of Lucas’s mullet.
"I thought you’d never ask."

Without hesitation, Benji butchered the boy’s mullet, then the rest of his hair. As Lucas stared at himself in the mirror, he couldn’t believe what he’d just said. Bald. Like his dad. Bald. Like his grandfather. Bald. Like his older brother. He’d been trying to cherish his hair for as long as he could, knowing that his genetic clock was ticking. Male Pattern Baldness had run through both sides of his family like a horse on the track. He had thought he’d been spared. No, instead he was to meet a far worse fate. Bald. A smile began to creep back onto his face. The hypnotic triggers took hold. Bald. Like his friend Trent. Bald. Like his friend Adam. Bald. Thanks to his friend Benji. Maybe being bald was perfect for him. Bald.

Lucas’s dopey grin did nothing to reduce the manic pleasure Benji was taking in reducing his hair to microinches. Cream spread across the buzzed scalp, and then Lucas was joined with his family and friends. He was completely bald. He practically took the towel out of Benji’s hands when it came time to polish. Lucas was so happy to be bald, he wanted to finish it off himself. Still, Benji didn’t want to take any risks, and quickly polished Lucas’s head himself. Sending the third chrome domed boy back to his seat, Benji eyed up his last target.

"Last but not least, Kyler!" The redhead hustled his way into the chair. Benji was smiling from ear to ear. It had all worked. It had all gone so perfectly. One more head to shave, and the trial run of programming would be a resounding success. He asked the all too important question,
"Kyler, what kind of haircut would you like?"
"Shave me bald, sir." Kyler replied. Benji chuckled, he could get used to that "sir."
"If you insist bro."

Kyler couldn’t wait to be bald. Maybe a long time ago he’d taken pride in his mane of red curls, but as of a couple minutes ago, he wanted nothing more than to have a hairless scalp. He almost didn’t understand why he wanted to be bald so badly, but he came to a simple conclusion. Being bald is better. All of his friends wouldn’t want to be bald if that wasn’t the case. He wouldn’t want to be bald if that wasn’t a true fact. He just knew, he had to be bald.

Benji was all too happy to comply. Savoring every sweep of the clippers across Kyler’s ginger rooted head, he quickly cut the boy down to size. The buzzed look suited Kyler well enough, but both knew the job wasn’t complete. Shaving cream was applied, and Kyler grinned at the mirror. With each stroke of the razor, Benji was making Kyler’s wildest dreams come true. Finally, Benji oiled Kyler’s head, and buffed it til it practically glowed. Perhaps the boys head was no longer ruby in color, but it certainly matched the gem in glimmer. Benji released Kyler, and the newly bald boy rejoined the rest of his friends. Before he sat back down, he turned to Benji,
"Thank you sir!"

Benji gazed at his good work. He was God on the Seventh Day, basking in all his fine creation. As the boys began to slip out of their entranced states, they became comfortable with their newly balded lots in life. The hypnosis had been strong enough that they would love their bald heads for at least a couple months, and Benji planned on inviting them back frequently to reinstall the programmed desire for baldness within them. Now that his test run had been successful, he could expand to the rest of his clientele, and who knows where he could go from there. He wished he could make every boy in the world bald with a snap of his fingers. He would have to be content with the work he did here. Still, he suffered his own penance. He had long ago committed to maintaining his foolish, trendy, fluffy hairstyle until he had shaved all the boys he could. Only then would he finally let himself join them. His final reward would be baldness for himself. Until then, there was still work to do.

Benji brought all the boys together. They posed, their arms around each others shoulders, their bald heads exposed to the world. Benji took a few pictures, letting the boys get a little goofy with their poses. This would be just the marketing he needed. He posted the pictures to his Instagram page with the fitting caption, "Barber Benji’s Baldy Boys". As he watched the like count climb, he took another long look at the successes that lay before him. And he smiled.

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