Growth: Part 5 by Jamiesstories2

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A/N: Due to the character limit, this chapter had to be split into two separate parts. This part and part 6 are meant to be read as a cohesive chapter.

This is the continuation of Growth. Please read the previous parts before reading this.

Growth: Part 5

Alex called and texted in those first weeks more than he would like to admit.

I miss you.

I love you.

Please talk to me, we can figure this out.

Dan did not seem to be in agreement, and Alex finally took it as a sign. Dan had gotten used to commitment, and he’d decided it was not for him. And Alex hadn’t opened his mouth until it was too late.

Weeks turned to months and Alex stopped texting unless he was…thoroughly intoxicated. Against the advice of Jeff and Ben, he did not block Dan, always leaving the line open in case the man somehow changed his mind about the whole thing. It did not even cross Alex’s mind that maybe it was a bad idea to restart what had become, in the last few months of its existence, a mess.

And now that months had turned to a year, Alex still hadn’t even considered the idea of a relationship with someone else.

There were only thoughts of late nights on the phone, and good-morning kisses, and sex that was so good it was a biology lesson of its own. All of these thoughts, however, included the frustratingly handsome face of his ex-boyfriend. He’d tried hard to get over his relationship, when he was eventually forced to accept it was really, truly over, and he was urged on by Ben and Jeff, but whatever efforts he was making absolutely would not stick.

And, then, there was the other, very visible issue: Alex’s hair. At first, it had not been a problem. Alex had maintained his relationship with Dan for nearly a year without letting Dan cut his hair again, but two years was a long time to go without even so much as a trim. Every time Alex’s thoughts even breached the idea of a haircut, however, his mind was filled with so much anxiety about trusting someone else and guilt about Dan that he instantly shied away from the thought.

So as Alex stood in front of the mirror on a Monday morning, he simply toyed with his dead ends, before hiding them in a neat bun.

Lunchtime rolled around and he was visited by Ben. The tradition had been started after Dan left for Chicago, but had only really solidified after the breakup, when Alex wasn’t using his lunch break to call his boyfriend.

"Happy Monday, Alex!" Ben announced as he walked into Alex’s classroom and closed the door behind him. Alex raised his head from the papers he was grading, smiling.

"Happy Monday, Ben."

"How was your weekend? Did you… see anyone?" Ben asked, another tradition that had only begun more recently, after it was implied that Alex should try and start healing from the breakup.

"It was good," Alex replied, and then playfully continued, "I saw… let’s see… my roommates!" Ben smacked Alex’s shoulder.

"How interesting."


"Ben, if I ever actually start seeing someone, you think I won’t tell you?" Ben held up his hands at Alex’s words.

"Just curious, that’s all."

Alex rolled his eyes and let his hair out of the dying bun it was trapped in. As Alex’s hair had grown longer (it was quickly creeping its way towards Alex’s mid-back), it had become less manageable, often falling out of a bun or knotting more easily. Ben gave Alex a curious look as Alex released his hair.

"Your hair’s getting long. Are you growing it out?" Ben asked.

"Oh, uh, I just haven’t really had the time to get it cut," Alex replied, trying to sound casual. But whether it was the residual hint of anxiety in Alex’s voice, or the fact Ben knew Dan used to cut Alex’s hair, Ben looked unconvinced.

‘Uh-huh…" He replied, pinning Alex with an incredulous stare. Ben pulled out his own lunch, and the two started to eat in tandem, occasionally pausing to chat about a book or a fun weekend activity, but Ben’s question still seemed to hang heavy in the air.

The end of lunch eventually came, and Ben got up to leave. As he reached the door, he turned back to face Alex.

"Alex," he said.

"Yeah?"

"You don’t need to feel guilty for moving on."

"Ben-" Alex started, trying to protest what he knew was coming.

"That’s all," Ben reassured with a smile, "You can let go of him, Alex. You have nothing to feel guilty for." Ben turned back towards the door and left to go to his own classroom in the high school wing.

Alex went through the rest of the day, Ben’s words flexing in his mind. It had been a year. Alex knew that. He shouldn’t feel guilty. Alex knew that. It wasn’t a matter of what he knew or didn’t know, he still went to bed each night feeling the same way.

When Alex got home, he changed from his work clothes into something more casual and began to get started on grading homework when Alex heard a knock and looked up to find Jeff standing in the doorway. Alex already knew what he was going to ask, following another tradition that had started shortly after the breakup.

In early spring, when the weather was quite nice and Alex quite depressed, Jeff had walked into Alex’s bedroom and announced he was going on a walk and Alex should come with. Soon, Alex realized that sun and fresh air made him feel better, and he enjoyed getting the chance to clear his head, accompanied by his friend. Now Jeff would often peek his head into Alex’s room on random afternoons, and Alex would do the same, offering a chance to get out of the house. The two carved out many routes up and down his neighborhood, each longer or shorter for different occasions.

Yet, today, Jeff asked a different question.

"Hey, I’m taking a walk to go get my haircut, want to come with?"

Alex’s brain, not fully processing the sentence outside of the word ‘haircut,’ entered overdrive.

"Wh- What?"

Clearly, Alex’s fear had not only been internally displayed, since Jeff’s look immediately softened.

"Sorry, I should’ve phrased that better. I was asking if you wanted to walk there with me, not if you wanted to get a haircut," Jeff clarified, "I think there’s a coffee shop across the street where you can hang out while I get my haircut, if you’d like to walk home with me, too."

The intensity of Alex’s emotions dropped from a ten to a two. Although the prospect of walking with the end destination of a barber shop was not exactly stress-free, the knowledge that Jeff was not expecting him to get a haircut, and the promise of a distraction from Ben’s lunchtime words, which were still rattling around his head, was enough to convince Alex to join Jeff on his walk.

The pair walked in unseasonably warm January weather, following a similar route to one Alex was used to, before a left turn took them towards their final destination. Alex finally saw the shop ahead, the blue, red, and white barber pole in the distance re-sparking a sense of intense anxiety and arousal. Just as Jeff had promised, there was a coffee shop across the street. And as Jeff said goodbye, Alex crossed the street and found a seat on the cafe’s patio. The front of the barber shop had large glass windows, and Alex silently celebrated the idea that he would be able to watch patrons get their hair cut while waiting for Jeff.

Alex pondered the barber that Jeff clearly frequented, having seen the man as Jeff entered the barber shop, deciding that if he ever were to set foot in that shop, he would not want that barber to cut his hair. The man had shoulder length brown hair, lanky body, and pale skin, and it would almost be like getting his haircut by his twin. Although if Jeff’s clipper-cut hairstyle was any indication, the shop was clearly no salon, anyway.

In reality, though, it didn’t especially matter if Alex had ambitions of ever entering the shop, as it would still be plenty interesting for Alex to watch the patrons be serviced. And so, Alex took a seat on the patio.

He shot a quick glance at the customer he would be watching, as it seemed that Jeff had been seated in the chair furthest from the window. Oh boy, he was really in for something, the man caped up in the chair was pale with long, thick-looking, auburn hair.

Yet, Alex’s quick glance had given him a glance of the barber’s hand, this person’s warm, bronze skin. Out of curiosity, Alex took his chances to look up again, this time pulling his gaze away from the man seated in the chair to look up at the… Oh.

Alex, in that moment, felt that God was playing a cruel trick on him. As this barber was no ordinary man, oh no, he was a f***ing Adonis.

His skin was a liquid, golden brown and his hair was a deep black, cut in a short back and sides with the top left just long enough to show his loose curl pattern. He was clean shaven, showing off his knife-sharp jawline and wide smile. He wore black dress pants and a white button down with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, every piece of fabric on him doing an excellent job of showing off his musculature. He was not Dan, no. He was something entirely different. Something, Alex thought quickly, before admonishing himself for it, better.

Alex knew he’d kept his eyes up for much too long, but it was hard to turn away. He finally pulled himself away for a moment, before turning right back, captured by even the thought of the barber. As he turned back, he caught sight of the barber placing his hands on the man’s shoulders, before laughing out loud at something the man in the chair said (showing his unbelievably perfect, white teeth) and then turning towards the set of drawers next to the chair.

At the sight of the barber touching the man in the chair, a thought rose up in Alex’s mind before he could stop it.

I want to be in that chair.

In a moment, Alex was talking himself down, filled with the same mixture of anxiety and guilt he felt every time he thought about a haircut, but the thought was there, and it wasn’t going away.

Alex, totally forgetting about pretending to drink coffee, grade papers, or at all hide his gaze, had his eyes glued on the scene in front of him. The barber had retrieved a pair of scissors from a drawer and had now returned his attention to the client. The client said something to the barber, and the barber turned the client away from the mirror, so now both the client and the barber were faced almost directly towards Alex. One glance and he would be seen. Alex could not manage to care. The barber said one final thing, the client nodded, and then the barber grabbed a handful of auburn hair at the base of the client’s neck and began to hack through it.

Alex was entranced, he could not look away from the scissors making their way through the auburn tresses. The barber looked up from his cutting for a moment, out the window, too fast for Alex to look away. Alex breathed a sigh of relief as it seemed the barber had not seen him staring, but just as he was recovering from that mini heart attack, the barber looked up again and made direct eye contact with Alex.

Alex was frozen in place, only looking away from the barber for a moment to glance at the scissors still cutting through the client’s hair. The barber looked at Alex quizzically for a moment, before understanding dawned in his eyes, and his lips revealed a devilish smirk. He raised his eyebrows and tilted his head back just slightly, as if to say, "Why don’t you come in and give this a try?" And then smiled slightly wider.

The barber's gaze was finally removed from Alex as the scissors cut through the last strand of the handful of auburn hair he was holding. The barber shrugged his shoulders slightly, as if brushing the experience off, and then returned his attention fully to his client.

Alex sat like a statue for a beat longer before fully realizing the gravity of what had just happened. He had to get out of here. Right now. F*** waiting for Jeff or anyone else. Alex tried to will his legs to move, before he realized his other, very immediate problem-- he was hard as hell. Alex cursed his brain, or, really, fetish for betraying him at the worst possible moments. He took a few deep breaths and intentionally turned away from the shop across the street, and, slowly, his erection went down enough that he could make it home with minimal awkwardness.

Finally, Alex stood, speed walking home, while also attempting to look very calm and very composed, thank you very much. Both objectives mostly failed, but, eventually, Alex made it home. Shooting Jeff a text blaming his sudden exit on a forgotten meeting.

The rational side of Alex’s brain told him he could never come within a mile radius of that shop ever again, he must avoid that embarrassment at all costs. But as Alex went to sleep that night, he thought about the barber, and he knew, already, that he wanted to go back.

XXXXX

All of Tuesday, Alex could not keep his mind off the barber. That golden skin, that perfect hair, that smile. Ben seemed to notice that Alex was a little more spacy at lunch, but said nothing of it. Every time Alex tried to redirect his thoughts, however inconvenient, they always returned to the barber.

As Alex made his way home, he turned over the idea of whether or not he should return. A part of him (especially the part that resided below his navel) desperately wanted to return, but another part of him wanted to stay far, far away.

When Alex got home, he changed and decided he would go for a walk. Without Jeff. He didn’t have to take that route, he could just take a simple, normal walk. But when Alex finally reached the intersection where he would usually turn back home, the decision was made; his legs carried him in the direction of his fantasy, in the direction of the barber shop.

A turn down the street, a step up the stairs to the patio, and suddenly he was sitting at the same table as yesterday, staring into the window of the shop. At least he had made a decision.

The god-among-men, his barber, seemed to always work at the chair closer to the window, luckily for Alex. While the other barber, Jeff’s barber, was stationed at the chair further away. The other barber had a client in his chair, and was deftly trimming his crew cut with a pair of clippers, but, as interesting as that was, Alex’s eyes kept being drawn back to his barber.

He did not have a client, so he was sitting in his own chair--one leg over the armrest, book in hand. As the other barber’s client left, he said something to the supreme being lounging in the barber chair, causing him to chuckle. As his eyes were lifted away from his book through his laughter, the barber glanced up and across the street, Alex freaked, but it seemed the barber had not noticed him. Or, at least, he had not decided to play the same games he had yesterday.

As the two barbers continued chatting, Alex’s obsession finally rose from his seat and walked to the back of the shop. As he did, he mussed the long, brown hair of the other barber, causing an invasive thought to enter Alex’s mind: What if they were dating? The way his barber had toyed with Alex gave him the idea that the man could not be straight, but what if he was gay and taken? The two men clearly had a rapport… The thought blared too loudly to be ignored, prompting Alex to leave his perch across the street.

Still, no matter the possible straightness, gayness, or relationship status of this barber, Alex could not remove him from his mind.

Wednesday, Alex returned again, and, again, the barber was not servicing a client when he came.

Thursday, Alex had returned to the coffee shop across the street and was greeted with a welcome sight: his barber had a client. The client in question also had quite a head of hair. It was shorter than Monday’s auburn waterfall, certainly, but the mass of dirty blonde waves probably reached the client’s shoulders, and anything it didn’t have in length, it certainly seemed to boast in thickness. Alex watched as the barber secured a cape around his client, preparing himself for masses of waves to fall.

The barber did a horseshoe parting, leaving about half of the hair down while pinning the other half on top of the client’s head. He retrieved a spray bottle and a comb and began to dampen the ends of the clients hair, brushing them out as he went along. Alex was confused; why go to all the trouble of dampening the ends if you’re just going to cut it all off? The barber grabbed the scissors, but instead of beginning to hack off the luscious curls, he slowly combed through a lock, grabbed the ends between his fingers, and trimmed a conservative inch.

What was this? His barber trimmed long hair as well? Alex was shocked, he’d just assumed the shop had only cut short hair, but this opened up an entirely new possibility: he could really get his hair trimmed there. He could really get his hair trimmed by his dream barber. Alex was so excited by the prospect, he left fairly promptly for fear of embarrassing himself in public once again.

As was tradition, at this point, Alex returned on Friday, but the barber wasn’t there and his chair was empty. Saturday, too, the barber was not at work. Noted. Alex had officially memorized the barber’s schedule, which was definitely not creepy at all.

Sunday, Alex returned to the coffee shop patio, then Monday, then Tuesday. Every day, Alex told himself that he was being stupid, ridiculous, that he either needed to actually enter the shop or not go at all. But every day, after giving himself that incredibly rousing pep-talk, he retreated to his little observation deck outside the coffee shop and could not compel himself to come any closer to the shop.

Alex tried to think of a contrivance, some reason he could enter the shop and leave, some way he could give the barber a chance to introduce himself, but Alex simply could not see himself entering the shop and then simply leaving without getting a haircut. There was no way it was possible. So, throughout the entirety of the next few weeks, Alex simply went and watched.

XXXXX

On a Monday, quite similar to the Monday that had taken place just a month ago, Jeff came to Alex’s door as he was gearing up to follow his usual routine.

"Hey, I know it’s been raining, but you seem like you’re ready for a walk, and I’m going to get my haircut again, if you’d like to come with," he offered.

Unbeknownst to Jeff, Alex had been planning to walk to the exact same place, rain or shine.

"Sure, I’m always down for a walk," Alex responded, with an attempt at casualness.

The two men both grabbed small umbrellas--the rain had been constant but light--and made their way towards the barber shop. Although it was misting, Alex figured he could still sit at his normal spot on the patio. It was odd, that was for sure, but not so strange that it would be the object of special attention from anyone, especially the object of his personal curiosity.

This all changed, however, about two blocks from the precious shop. The sky, which had taken on a vaguely threatening aura over the last ten minutes, opened up. The men’s umbrellas, which had been more than enough for the drizzling of the day’s weather, were useless against the sheets of rain that now bombarded them, and they were getting soaked.

"Ugh, sorry I dragged you out into this," Jeff said.

"You had no idea, don’t worry about it," Alex had to almost yell over the sound of raindrops hitting every available surface.

It was now apparent that Alex could absolutely not sit outside, but he internally mourned the fact that he would have to sit away from the view of the window, robbed of his entertainment. Would he have to walk home in this, too? He pondered. There was certainly a chance. Who knew how much longer this rain was going to last?

As the pair approached the spinning pole of the shop. Alex’s obsession, the barber himself, noticed the two men and (presumably recognizing Jeff) leapt from his chair to open the door. Jeff entered with ease, saying a quick thank you, but pausing and turning when he noticed the barber was continuing to hold the door.

Alex was motionless, a deer in the headlights of the barber’s gaze. He willed himself to move, speak, do anything, but his brain and body were clearly not running at the same speed. The barber opened his mouth, and his voice was just as deep and silky as it was in Alex’s raunchiest dreams.

"You’re welcome to wait inside while your friend gets his hair cut," The barber invited, "I couldn’t possibly force you to walk further in the rain like this."

"Oh, no," Jeff interjected, reading Alex’s pause as fear, "He, uh-"

In this moment, Alex could not truly say what possessed him, maybe it was desire, maybe it was the acute need for Jeff to shut up, maybe it was exasperation from weeks of sexually charged dreams and sleepless nights, but he would not deny himself any longer.

"Sounds good," He replied, running into the shop behind the other two men before he could regret his decision.

As Alex entered the shop, he found himself on the verge of sensory overload. He had become quite accustomed to the decor of the place by staring at it for so long, the dark wood floors, the cream walls, just warm enough to avoid being sterile, the black, traditional, barber’s chairs with their silver accents. But everything felt so different when inside the shop, the sounds and smells taking over every sane inch of his mind.

Jeff looked at him with pure shock. As the barber led the two men into the shop, he leaned over and whispered in Alex’s ear.

"Who are you and what have you done with my roommate?"

Alex turned bright red, quickly losing the ability to speak.

"Well, uh, it’s not like I’m a-actually…you know."

Jeff remained incredulous, but the stutter made him chuckle.

"Looks like my roommate is officially back, just in time to regret his decision," He teased Alex as he walked away towards his barber’s empty chair.

It was just Alex and The Barber, his barber, now, who pointed to the couple of chairs placed with their backs to the large bay window Alex had stared through so many times.

"You can sit over there while Jeff gets his haircut," he explained, "I’m Javier, by the way. I’m a barber here, in case you couldn’t tell," he chuckled, gesturing towards his slacks and white button up. Alex smiled a small indication of thanks.

"I’m A-Alex," he finally managed to spit out, further embarrassed by his own lack of eloquence. Javier smiled in return, as if endeared by Alex’s fear.

"Good to meet you, Alex. I’ll just be in my chair if you need anything, so let me know."

And with that Javier walked back to his barber chair and took up lounging in it, picking up the book he’d left on top of the vanity next to the chair.

Alex walked over to the waiting area and sat down, he took up his own book (which he had started bringing books as plausible deniability when on his excursions). But, although Foucault was generally a very interesting philosopher, he was currently winning the award for being the worst thing to read while trying to distract yourself from the incredibly attractive man sitting not twenty feet from you. And, of course, Alex failed miserably at reading, resigning to simply reflecting on his current situation while staring at the pages of his book.

Alex wanted to be in Javier’s chair. That much was undeniable. But every time Alex’s mind even approached what was to happen after Alex sat in Javier’s chair, he freaked out.

‘You’ll never get a better opportunity!’ One half of Alex yelled. While the other half just screamed ‘No!’ In a tone reminiscent of an excited goat. But trying to read was fruitless, and Alex certainly couldn’t just sit there staring.

"H-Hey, um, Javier?"

The voice inside his head got louder. Nonononono.

Javier looked up, closing his book on his finger. God, he was so gorgeous.

"What’s up?"

"D-Do you have, uh, any more, um-" Alex took a deep breath and cleared his throat, "clients today?"

"No, unfortunately," Javier sighed, "I had two, but both canceled. Always happens when it rains," he paused for a moment, thinking, "why do you ask?"

Nonononono.

Alex let his eyes slip from Javier for a single second and lost his nerve entirely. Jeff. He could not, certainly not, definitely not, totally not get his haircut while his roommate was around. He would rather accept a horribly painful, cosmic death sentence.

"N-No reason," He whispered in Javier’s general direction before dragging his eyes back down to his open book. Javier was left to look confused in Alex’s direction, before picking up his own reading once again.

Jeff’s haircut, being a simple short back and sides, only took around twenty minutes, and soon enough he was out of the chair and approaching Alex.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" He asked.

Alex barely dared to look at the man, not wanting to see the freshly clippered sides of his head, but when he finally did, he noticed that the chorus of no’s began to return to his mind not at the haircut, but at the prospect of leaving. The universe had handed him the perfect opportunity on a silver platter, could he really just turn his back to it?

Alex opened and closed his mouth, in an expression akin to a fish out of water. Confusion marred Jeff’s features for a moment that seemed to stretch forever, before understanding finally dawned. The idea that Jeff’s, at least partial, understanding of the circumstances would have consequences both frightened and excited Alex on a deep level.

"Alex," Jeff began, loud enough both barbers in the shop could clearly hear, "Weren’t you just saying the other day that you needed a haircut?"

Alex felt every inch of his body turn crimson as his jaw dropped.

"I-I-I-…yep," he replied, deciding in that moment that he would grab the universe’s opportunity by the f***ing dick and balls.

"Oh really?" Javier looked up from his own book to make direct eye contact with Alex, and Alex couldn’t help but think that this specific opportunity’s dick and balls were probably quite nice, only serving to make his blush deeper than he knew possible.

"Javier," Jeff continued, "Correct me if I’m wrong, but you cut long hair, don’t you?"

Alex already knew the answer to this question, but he let Javier reply anyway.

"I do," Javier replied, before shooting a look towards the other barber and joking, "I’m not nearly as clipper-happy as my colleague."

There was silence for a moment filled only with some light chuckling from Jeff and his barber. Alex knew what he had to do.

"Well, uh, since… since you don’t have any c-clients left today," Alex willed himself to speak normally, but his mouth simply wouldn’t comply with his brain’s commands, "and I n-need… do you- do you think you could…"

"Give you a haircut?" Javier guessed, filling in the blank.

"Y-Yeah," Alex replied, barely a whisper.

"Of course," Javier replied with a smile, a little spark glimmering in his eyes. He jumped up from the chair and placed his book to the side. He then lowered the chair a bit and turned it towards Alex.

"Whenever you’re ready, you can take a seat."

XXXXX

Continued in part 6

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