Growth: Part 7 by Jamiesstories2

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A/N: Once again, the character limit has foiled my grand plans. I will be releasing this and part 8 at the same time, they are meant to be read as one continuous chapter.

A big thank you to Fantasy Weaver for consulting on some of the details of this chapter.

Adult content ahead.

This is the continuation of Growth. Please read the previous parts before reading this.

Growth: Part 7

That first dinner had been nothing short of excellent. When Alex thought back on the night, he could still remember the feeling of soreness in cheeks and stomach from laughing so hard.

After dinner, Alex tried not to act like a giddy school girl when he received another text from Javier. Dinner was now coffee. Then coffee turned into Javier inviting Alex over and making dinner for him, and before they knew it, both Javier and Alex had lost track of the number of dates they’d been on.

Somewhere down the line, things had become official. Suddenly, they were boyfriends, and Alex would never not feel a spark of joy when that title was applied to him by Javier.

So here he was, six months later, willing himself to take a breath deeper than his lungs seemed to be able to produce, as he opened the door to the shop.

Yes, even after all these months, Alex still felt a twinge of nerves when walking into Javier’s place of work.

Javier had made an effort to make Alex comfortable here, and it had not gone unappreciated by the man. Alex thought back to their fourth date, when (after a long conversation on date number three where each man revealed their interest in hair) Javier had proposed that date number four start at the barbershop, for a shave.

Alex had almost not come, he remembered, for fear of the host of implements Javier had at his disposal to turn a casual shave into a very, very short haircut, but Javier had done nothing of the sort. Instead, he simply introduced Alex to the magic of a proper shave, with a straight razor. Their date did eventually end up leaving the barbershop, although this relocation brought the pair directly to Javier’s apartment for… other activities.

After this point, Alex’s visits to the shop for a shave had started as a monthly occurrence, before becoming biweekly. This time, it had been Javier to suggest Alex come by, after kissing him last night and letting a less than concealed look of disapproval mar his features. Alex blushed and looked away at the gaze, but Javier had only grabbed his chin and forced the long-haired man to look back into his eyes.

"A barber’s partner shouldn’t be nearly so scruffy," he scolded, with a playful look, before just as quickly letting go and holding Alex close.

Truth be told, there had been a reason Alex hadn’t come to the barbershop, yet. His damn hair.

Although Javier was more forward with cheeky comments about shaving Alex’s face, he still steered clear of anything having to do with Alex’s hair, understanding this was a much greater source of anxiety for the man. However, even Javier’s well-controlled comments and facial expressions couldn’t entirely hide how he felt about Alex’s hair.

Alex knew his hair was growing out. And, frankly, he didn’t want it to grow out any more than Javier did, but the idea of having his hair back at the perfect length, and the idea of what he would have to do to get his hair back to it’s perfect length were two entirely different things.

He knew Javier had suggested at the absolute maximum he should trim his hair every six months. He knew it had been almost six months since his last trim. He knew what split ends looked like. He knew his hair had split ends. And he had seen the way Javier looked at those ends when he thought Alex could not see him.

However, Alex did not have the faintest idea how he could start a conversation having to do with his hair, and so he was waiting for the other shoe to drop--for the day Javier gave up on being patient and told Alex he would have to cut his hair or else. And as that six month mark approached, Alex thought that this trip to the barbershop would be the one where Javier confronted him.

So he did what he could: avoid, avoid, avoid. Until last night, when Javier had ended his avoidance streak with a single look.

And now, here he was. Counting down the seconds until any one of his worst nightmares happened before his eyes.

"Alex," Javier looked up from the client he was servicing, with a smile, "I’ll be with you soon."

Alex smiled and nodded back, trying to take another deep breath.

He sat down in the waiting area, legs quickly turning to jelly, watching as Javier snipped away at the hair of the man seated in his chair, who sported a short back and sides. After only a few minutes, Javier removed the cape from the man, sending a shower of short clippings to the floor and brought him up to the register to pay. Alex couldn’t take his eyes off the clippings, which were only slightly lighter than Alex’s own hair. Javier snuck a glance at his partner and noticed the man’s apprehension, he wondered what was on the man’s mind.

Soon the man left, and Javier approached Alex, who had still not managed to tear his gaze away from the cut hair on the floor of the shop.

"Alex," Javier started quietly when he was only a few feet from the seated man.

At this Alex finally looked up at Javier, the same fear filling his blue eyes that Javier recognized from six months ago. Javier would get him seated first, he decided, and then they could chat about why the man had suddenly redeveloped a severe case of anxiety.

"I’m ready for you, cariño."

Alex willed himself to control everything. Control his face. Control his body. Control his mind. Yet it seemed that Javier had already noticed something was up, as his own face was filled with concern. Javier offered a hand to the still-seated Alex and he took it, leaning on it an embarrassing amount in an effort to rise from his place in the waiting area. Alex, with the help of his barber, forced himself into the black chair, and watched as Javier turned the chair to the front, while he used the pedal on the back of the chair to raise its height.

Sunday was one of Isaac’s days off, so Javier was already the only one in the shop. All he had to do was close up.

"Get comfortable," He instructed Alex, making an active choice not to touch the seated man, "I’m going to take a second to close up."

As Javier walked around the shop, locking the door, flipping the sign to ‘closed’, and lowering the blinds, he felt Alex’s eyes on him. He tried to act like it was any other day, in an effort to relax his boyfriend who was mysteriously on the verge of an anxiety attack.

Eventually he came back behind Alex, before deciding to get on his level. He turned Alex to face the other chair in the shop, as he had just six months ago, and sat to face him.

"Cariño," Javier began in that tone that never failed to make Alex melt, "Is everything okay?"

"Well-" Alex didn’t know what to say, "Everything’s fine, but-"

Alex could not spit it out. Javier leaned back in his chair, not unused to his partner reduced to a wordless state of anxiety.

"Are you having trouble saying what you want to?" He asked.

Alex nodded, feeling his face get hot in the way it often did before tears fell.

"Okay, let's break this down. Is it okay if I ask you some questions?"

Alex nodded again.

"Can you say your answers out loud? It would make me feel better," Javier asked Alex.

"Y-Yes."

"Okay. Are you anxious about your hair?"

"Yes," The answer came, a whisper, but still there.

"Alright," Javier continued, "Are you anxious I’m going to cut your hair?"

"Y-Y-Yeah."

Problem identified, Javier conceded, but he still couldn’t figure out what had turned the dial on Alex’s anxiety from its usual level of three up to an eleven.

"Hmm," Javier reflected for a moment on the last 24 hours, "Is it because of what I said to you last night?"

"No," Alex squeaked out.

Javier sighed, turning his gaze away from his partner in concentration as he ran his hand along his own five-o-clock shadow. Finally, he admitted defeat.

"I’m lost," He said, turning back to Alex, "Now I know that you’re nervous, but can you try your best to explain to me why you’re afraid I’m going to cut your hair?"

Yes. Alex was a f***ing adult, and he was going to act like it. He was going to manage to tell his partner, who was looking at him with ample concern, why the hell he was so anxious.

"I-" Alex tried, but then tears came, and suddenly he could no longer pretend that he was anything other than absolutely terrified. His hands went straight to his face, fringe hiding his crying from the outside world.

"Oh, cariño," Javier could only exclaim, rising from his chair to comfort Alex.

Javier desperately wanted to hold him so tight he never cried again, but he also did not want to further scare the man, who seemed to be reacting to every stimulus as if it was an electric shock. He settled for kneeling in front of Alex’s chair, so he could look up at him from under his fringe, and a gentle touch on Alex’s hand, which, to Javier’s delight, he did not shrink away from.

"I promise, I would never, ever, ever cut your hair without your explicit permission. That will never change," Javier declared.

The solidity of this declaration seemed to draw Alex out of his spiral to some degree, and he took a shaky breath for the first time since he started to cry.

"Never?" He whispered.

"Never."

Another deep breath, from both men, and Javier decided to take the plunge.

"Now what on earth is going on?"

At Javier’s pure confusion, through his tears, Alex couldn’t help but laugh, at himself more than anything else. Of course Javier would never force him to do anything with his hair, no matter how he felt about it. That trust was the foundation they had started this relationship on, after all.

"What’s so funny?" Javier asked, playfully. Pinning Alex with a look that made his insides turn to jelly, the kind of jelly that was, mysteriously, quite aroused.

"I-I was scared," Alex started, trying to control the successive tsunamis of emotion rolling through him, "Because it’s been a-almost six months since my last…t-trim. And I thought, I-I thought you would…"

Alex couldn’t finish the sentence, but Javier wasn’t stupid.

"You thought I would make you trim your hair?" He finished the sentence.

"Y-yes."

Javier nodded in understanding, but his features still showed confusion.

"There’s one thing I don’t understand."

Oh god, there was more? Alex didn’t know how much he could do of this communication stuff before he passed out from exhaustion.

"Why don’t you want to trim your hair? Did I cut it too short last time?" Javier asked, his own anxiety bleeding into his voice.

"N-No!" Alex exclaimed, he could say little else but it was incredibly important to him Javier knew he had done nothing wrong, "It’s because wh-when my ex…" Alex couldn’t finish the sentence.

"When he cut your hair too short?" Javier filled in the blank.

Alex nodded.

"When he did…that, i-it wasn’t the first time he, um, t-trimmed my hair, it was, um, it was the s-second time."

Everything came into focus in Javier’s head. Alex’s fear of trusting anyone to give him a haircut twice in a row, only made worse by the fantastical notion that Javier would force him into it, had all bubbled up the second he’d stepped foot in the barbershop.

Javier sighed finally.

"I understand now."

Alex smiled weakly. Javier reached up to Alex’s face and brushed a stray tear from his cheek.

"There’s a couple things I want you to know, okay?"

"Okay," Alex whispered back.

"And I want you to say them back to me, so I know you know them," Javier instructed.

Alex felt a blush tinge his cheeks at being treated like a child, but, he oddly found himself feeling more comforted than demeaned by the action. Alex nodded, finally.

"I am never going to make you cut your hair," Javier started.

"You are never going to make me… cut my hair," Alex repeated back.

"No matter how long or crazy it is," Javier joked, with a smile.

Alex rolled his eyes.

"No matter how l-long or crazy it is," he finally whispered back.

"And if you give me permission to cut your hair," Javier continued.

"And if I give you permission to- to cut my hair," Alex repeated, the word ‘cut’ no more than a breath.

"I will never cut more than you tell me to, no matter what."

"You will never c-cut more than I tell you to, no matter what."

Javier reached up to cup Alex’s cheeks.

"Good, cariño."

Alex leaned into the touch, wanting Javier’s hands to permanently fuse themselves to his cheeks. After a long while, Javier rose, and Alex found himself looking up at the man rather than down.

"Now, the question of the hour," Javier began, "Do you want me to cut your hair?"

Alex tensed, but as Javier felt this under his light touch, he rubbed Alex’s cheek with his thumb, attempting to calm the man.

"F-forgetting all the s**t I’m scared of? Y-yes I want you to…to do that."

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