Cut Me from Your World (Part 1) by Fantasy Weaver

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Between work on the next chapters of Cathairsis, I've had this little idea bubbling in the background, and had to write it. I blame my love of symphonic metal and one person for the direction this story went. This would have been a one-shot, but again, I am made of fool of by the not-really-sixty-five-thousand-character limit. So this one-shot is now a two-shot. Oh Well. Please enjoy!

-Fantasy Weaver.


Note

1: Foul language ahead

2: Adult content ahead


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Cut Me from Your World - Part One of Two

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He had never meant for it to turn to this.

"For f***’s sake, I told you I didn’t want you hanging around that idiot."

Blindly he had thought that perhaps he could be alright with his explosive tendencies. That he could be okay with limiting himself to him, and only him.

"He’s trying to f*** you, can’t you see that? That’s the only reason he’s your friend!"

Red flags he had long ignored since their first date. Now those flags were stacked one on top of the other on the metaphorical pole of his boyfriend, waving wildly and unceasingly. Bright, vivid, neon red that screamed at him to turn back time.

"Are you even listening to me?"

He’s always been a coward though, content to just go along with whatever Adder asked of him. "Don’t hang out with your friends anymore, they’re bad people. I’m better than them." "Screw your sister, she’s a bitch. Have you heard how she talks about me?" "Stop talking so loud, you’re embarrassing me." "Ew, why do you even listen to that symphonic sh*t? Ever heard of real metal? You nerd." Every time, he just took it. Every time, he smiled and said, "Sure Adder, whatever you want." Why? In hopes of what? Companionship? Affection? Understanding?

Adder was anything but understanding or affectionate. All he was, all he ever had been, was mean.

"Fenix, f***ing look at me!"

Callous.

"I swear to God-"

Manipulative.

"If you don’t answer me right now, I’m punishing you."

And most of all-

"That’s it-"

Fenix let himself be dragged to the bedroom, let himself be forced out of his clothes, let Adder painfully tug the elastic out of his wild mane of red hair, all while the speaker blasted some screaming black metal or death metal or other metal in their smoke-filled apartment.

Most of all…

"You know he could never f*** you like I do. I know your body like the back of my hand. Can he say the same, Fenix?"

The sex was never anything but rough. And yet his body, like his mind, like his heart, betrayed him, gave its seed up for Adder anyway, even with the harsh slaps to his behind, the thumbs digging into his flesh and bruising him or the harsh pull of Adder’s hands in his hair.

Most…of all…

"I know you love me, babe. You love this."

…

He was abusive.

XXXXX

The touch to his neck came as a surprise. Fenix startled somewhat, right hand lifting automatically to cover the bruise he knew was there. His light blue eyes turned to regard his friend over his hunched shoulder.

Adder didn’t know that he had gone out with his friends to the bar. If he had told him, there was no doubt in his mind that he wouldn’t be sitting here. Instead, he had told his boyfriend that he was off to his aunt’s place in the next city over, with the excuse that she had called him to repair some wiring that got chewed by mice in her chicken coop. The story held up because one: Adder knew his aunt had chickens. Two: Adder knew his aunt was far from the definition of a handywoman. Three: The wires really did get chewed, and Fenix had repaired them, just…earlier today. And four: Fenix is an electrician, so it would make sense for his aunt to call him.

Was it bad that he had meticulously planned out his alibi for that night? A few years ago, he would have brushed the thought away. Not so much now.

His eyes focused on Ian’s form beside him, where his friend had put his hand back down at his sudden reaction. Fenix looked at the man, his best friend, watched the pained, muted expression on his face replace the usual joyful smile that called it home.

His deep green eyes peered into Fenix’s own, a disapproving, saddened tint rendering them a cold evergreen. "Did he choke you again?"

Across the table in their booth, Fenix’s sister gagged on her Bloody Mary. "Excuse me!?"

Fenix sent a reproachful glare at Ian, adjusting his black hoodie around his neck to conceal the marks. "It’s fine, Star, don’t make a big deal out of it."

Their other friend, Toby, who was sitting beside Star - Starling, full name - muttered something along the lines of "Son of a bitch" under his breath, the son in question being Adder, of course. Fenix didn’t have the energy to shush him, but even if he had, Star was already cutting off those attempts with, "Don’t make a big deal of it? Fenix, Christ, every time we see you, it’s always like this!"

Ian, from his right, looked to be the most concerned. Fenix could feel his gaze on his neck, even through the thick cotton of his clothes. "It’s fine, we just got a little carried away while f***ing," he deflected uneasily.

"He got a little carried away."

Fenix flicked his head to Ian. "What?"

Ian wasn’t looking at him. He was staring ahead at the wall, but his uneven breathing and his usual agitated mannerism, of pulling his wavy, long, dark brown hair back into its messy bun, were indication of his opinion on this matter. An opinion Ian had already voiced multiple times with Fenix. "Look," he started, strained, "if my partner left the room with purple bruises on his throat and down his arms and legs-"

"His legs!?" Star screeched.

"Ian, shut up-" Fenix complained, horrified blue eyes begging him to quiet down. Star and Toby didn’t know that tidbit, they didn’t need to, Ian was one person too many.

"-I wouldn’t be proud of myself for doing that."

Toby turned his horrified face to Fenix, "Dude, what the fu-"

"I told you he was bad for you the moment I met him, Fenix!" Star added, her own untamed mass of red curls flying everywhere as she gesticulated dramatically. "You’re always calling me because of him being a bastard to you! Like that time you said you were going on a family vacation and he flipped because he wasn’t invited, and you decided to stay home with him instead."

Fenix scratched the back of his neck, feeling the tender skin under his digits. "I felt bad. He was going to be alone..." Fenix knew his excuse was terrible. At the time, Adder had promised him they would go on a trip together to make up for the lost vacation time. A promise he never upheld. Money was tight. It didn’t fit in their schedule. He would be missing a concert if they went.

Ian sat silently beside Fenix, but he was nodding along to what Star was saying, and Fenix could feel every ripple of repressed resentment Ian held for his boyfriend.

"What about that time Adder sold your brand-new leather boots so he could get tickets to that scream-o sh*t he likes to listen to?" Fenix tried to cut his sister off, but she didn’t let him, "Or that time he freaked on you because you trimmed your hair?"

"He what?" Ian asked, a deadly tone to his voice.

Fenix remembered that time. How could he forget? Ian had been the one to do the trim in question in his barbershop, after hours. Fenix had complained about the split ends and the frizz when Ian had suggested he could tame his mane a bit. It had been nice. They rarely saw each other much since he had started his relationship with Adder. That evening they had shared a couple of beers in his barbershop, listened to some new albums and shared some favorite bands with one another while they laughed and Ian cut his hair into a more manageable sea of red coils.

It wasn’t so much the trim that had Adder livid with him after he came home; rather, the fact that he had spent time with Ian.

That night, Fenix recalled he had ended up with his wrists and ankles zip-tied together while Adder beat the crap out of his ass so hard, the man resorted to gagging him with that horrid, too-big, bright red ball-gag he seemed to love so much. And only once Fenix’s face was puffy, wet and red from crying did Adder finally remove it, demanding an apology for seeing Ian without his permission.

His stupid, cowardly self had apologized immediately.

And Adder made love to him. Slowly, yet no less hard, gripping his hair in his hand to keep his head on the matress. He had pounded his sore ass with calculated precision only he seemed to possess, hit his prostate over and over until the bedsheets were soaked from Fenix’s tears, sweat and cum. And he did it again. And again. And when he was satisfied, Adder had lain him on his side and cuddled him, letting Fenix rest his head against his defined chest, kissed him with his damn-near perfect lips, sweaty blonde hair falling into their eyes.

Those were the only moments he showed affection. Afterwards, he was back to being horrible.

And, his weak self stayed for those kind moments amidst the red flags.

Complacent in his misery.

"Fenix."

He was shaking, he realized. Licking his lips, the red-head turned to face his friend’s distraught features. God, Ian looked like he was ready to kill.

But underneath the wrath, a deep, genuine concern for Fenix’s wellbeing turned those hardened features into a softer, worried expression. "Fenix…why do you stay with him?"

Because he’s become used to waking up with someone in bed every day. Because he hopes Adder might go back to being nicer, like how he was the first year of their relationship, before he moved in with him. Because it’s easier to pay rent with two incomes…well, it had been easy, until Adder had lost his job, three months ago. Now it fell to him to pay for much of their expenses. Didn’t help that Adder spent most of his meagre earnings on cigarettes and weed.

Because he’s afraid of what Adder might do to him if he told him he wanted to leave.

"Dude, for real," Toby added across from them, beside a simmering Star, "Name one good thing about him. One."

Fenix opened his mouth, about to spout the same old bullsh*t as always-

But Ian’s disappointed face, his tortured visage, had the words blocking in his throat.

XXXXX

"Hey, Fenix, wait a minute."

Blue irises found green under the yellow streetlamp. In his hand, the fob for his car felt cold. The autumn weather had their breaths condensing mid-air as him and Ian stood beside Fenix’s battered black Yaris. Starling and Toby had gone home already, after much more complaining about Adder and probing questions.

He shoved his hands in his jean jacket’s pockets, hoodie raised up over his head, red hair sticking out on either side in wild curls. "What is it?"

Ian licked his lips, the little black ball in his tongue clinking softly against his teeth as he did. Fenix almost smiled. He could hear Ian grinding the piece of jewelry between his teeth like he always did when he was thinking hard.

At last, his friend sighed. "Look, I know your…boyfriend…hates my guts and doesn’t want you seeing other people, but your birthday’s coming up so-" From the inner lining of his brown leather jacket, Ian handed him a small white envelope.

Fenix’ eyes widened as he took it. "What? Ian, you didn’t have to get me anything." He purposefully brushed over the comment about Adder’s particular distaste for his friend, not wanting to breech the subject again.

Ian waved his hand dismissively. "It’s fine, it’s fine. Open it."

With a reluctant yet flattered grin pulling at his lips, the red-head pulled the flap open on the envelope, fingers reaching inside, and feeling two little pieces of paper. Intrigued, he pulled them out and brought them up to the light of the lamp, squinting to make out the writing.

His eyes nearly tripled in size at what he saw. "Ian what the- when did you even get these?" Waving the papers, what he now knew to be tickets to see his favorite band, he slapped his forehead. "I wanted to buy a ticket, but they were sold out within three hours! How did you-"

Ian was smiling widely now, a sheepish look crossing his face. "You texted me the date of the ticket sales, so I waited until the day and hour of and refreshed their webpage to get the tickets as soon as they were up. I was going to tell you, but then you texted me that you hadn’t been able to get any so…I kept them secret until now. Kinda funny that the concert falls on your birthday though."

Fenix laughed, teeth showing behind his smiling lips. "Oh my god, you," he shook his head, at a loss for words. "Um, wow…"

His mind wandered, despite his best efforts, to his past birthdays. Ian…always gave him something great, a thoughtful gift that no one seemed to match. Star always got him something too, being his sister and all, and Toby his girlfriend, Vivian, would often accompany him and Ian on a little birthday get-together for him.

Adder. Adder though.

Adder never gave anything.

No, that’s not true.

He’d give him sex. He’d be nice on the night of his birthday. Nice enough to not leave bruises. Nice enough to let his hands roam free, to not choke him with his dick or an improvised gag, to not pinch his nipples until they hurt, to not drag him by his hair.

It was often one of the only nights he would say "I love you."

"Hey, you okay there, Fenix?" Ian called out to him, seeing his distant look.

He shook himself, "Yeah. Yeah, I’m good." He looked back down at his tickets, fingers rubbing the paper between them. His lips pulled to the side. "There’s two tickets though," he remarked.

"I mean," Ian started, hands deep in his own pockets, "It would kind of suck to go to a concert alone, so I got you a second ticket to bring someone with you."

That was…so very thoughtful. Like everything Ian said and did.

"Thanks, really," Fenix said as he continued grinning like an idiot. Then, an idea came to him, one he knew might displease Adder, but he couldn’t just accept Ian’s present without extending his own thanks right back at him, in the only way he knew how in that moment.

Hesitantly, he split the tickets, keeping one for himself, and offering the other with his hand outreached towards his best friend.

Ian stared at the gesture for a moment, before shaking his head quickly, "No, Fenix-"

"Why?" A red brow rose above a single blue iris, and he refused to take his hand back. With a lopsided smile, he declared, "It’s my present right? So I get to do what I want with it, and I’m choosing you to come with me."

Ian puffed and agitated sigh, green eyes flying to the sky for some patience. "Fenix, for f***’s sake, you don’t need to take me with you just because I got you the tickets, you know that right? You could take your sister, or Toby, or…or Adder, I don’t know."

He didn’t want to think of Adder right now. Stubbornly, he extended his hand further towards Ian. "Hey, I know you’d jump at the opportunity to see them on show, so stop being so nice and just take the ticket, man."

The other held his hand up trying to push Fenix’s hand with the paper away. "Come on, just-"

"Oh, Ian," Fenix grinned cheekily, pretending to fight against some unseen force pulling his hand towards his friend. "Ian, look, the ticket just wants to go towards you! I don’t have any control over it."

"Fenix, Christ-" But Ian was trying hard not to smirk, despite his attempts at avoiding Fenix’s wide gestures.

"It’s not my fault, I’m too weak, I can’t stop it! You have to take it Ian!" He doubled his attempts in his imaginary struggle, and at long the dramatic act finally broke down Ian’s resistance.

"Okay, fine! I’ll go!" the man caught the ticket in his friend’s hand, digits brushing together momentarily.

Fenix’s smile stayed planted firmly on his face, even as his fingers tingled where Ian’s had met his. When his blue eyes spotted his friend’s lightly flushed features though, the tingles migrated, pooled in his belly, where, as though going through metamorphosis, they turned into butterflies.

Ian wrapped his arm around his shoulders, playfully ruffling his hair through his hoodie. "Love ya, man. Happy birthday in advance."

…The kind of butterflies he hadn’t felt for someone in years.

XXXXX

The day of the concert was fast approaching, and Fenix was panicking.

He hadn’t told Adder yet that he was going out with Ian to see the show, and knew from experience that the revelation of the information would not bode well for him. He needed an excuse, a story, and fast, anything that would cover his ass.

He would be gone for hours, and he needed to get his clothes and boots into a bag without alerting Adder of what would really be going on. He had texted Ian between his shifts during the week, planning out how their evening would go to make sure nothing would go awry. Currently, the plan was for Fenix to come up with an excuse for leaving the house in the evening and only coming back much later at night. For this, he had gotten his sister’s help - after much begging on his part. She would be in the hospital, and Fenix’s parents would be out of town, so that would leave him the only person available to go see her.

He hadn’t yet figured out how he would sneak his duffel bag out yet. Maybe he could pretend he’s bringing things for Star? But Adder would probably want to see if the bag is empty. Agh. He’d find out what to do about that later.

All he knew, was that once he got outside, he was almost home-free. Luckily, the parking for his car was out of sight of the windows of their apartment, but if Adder happened to need his own car, and found that Fenix’s Yaris was still there, he’d be f***ed. So, Fenix would move the car into the parking on the other side of the restaurant close to their building, just for the evening. Ian would pick him up there and they would go to his place.

Once at Ian’s place he could change into his outfit for the night and they would be free to go to the concert. After it’s over, all they had to do was drive back to the restaurant (Ian had accepted not drinking that night so they could keep their wits about them, though it hadn’t been easy to convince him) and then Fenix could change out of his clothes, get his car and drive back to his place, all while Adder would be passed out in bed high off his ass as he usually would be at that time of night.

Adder would be none the wiser, right?

"Babe, hurry up, I’m starving," Adder called from the couch. The window was open. Pungent smoke still made its way to the stove, where Fenix was making supper.

He stirred the pot of tomato sauce, waiting for the noodles to be done cooking. "Give me a minute, would you?"

His mind went back to the problem that he would soon have to face. How to get his clothes out without alerting Adder? He’d need his boyfriend to be busy doing something in the kitchen, or taking a dump in the bathroom. Maybe if he times it right, he can hide the duffel in the closet by the entrance? He’d have to get his coat anyway, so it wouldn’t look too out of place. Maybe he could do it quick-

"F***!" Fenix grabbed the counter beside the stove when, quietly, Adder shoved him up against it, lips brushing the shell of his ear under his red hair.

"Were you being testy with me?" He hissed, breath reeking of weed.

Fenix hadn’t really given much thought to the reply he had given his partner, too focused on his own musings to notice or adjust his tone. His voice came meekly, "I- No, I was just concentrating, I didn’t-"

Rough hands squeezed the globes of his ass hard enough that he knew Adder’s fingers would leave blotchy bruises on them. He gasped, biting down on his lip to stop the pained groan from escaping his throat.

Mistaking his hurt for pleasure, Adder smirked darkly against his ear, "If all you wanted was for me to slap your ass, all you had to do was ask, baby."

"I wasn’t-"

His head was pulled back by his hair, forcing his back to curve, to give his boyfriend better access to his vulnerable behind, already tender from previous beatings.

Adder had already decided he would satisfy the unspoken - unwanted, imagined - demand.

XXXXX

Continued in part two.

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