Soldier or psychologist, what's best: 3 by thadeusz

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9. Fully in the Legion now

When that was done, I was told that "reservist or not" I had to remain at the disposal of my chiefs for menial tasks and wait for more interesting tasks adapted to my new specialty.

I was now back in the old fort where I had joyously enlisted several years before, but I was no longer joyful: I wanted now to become a full Belgian psychologist and I wanted to be reunited, if possible, with my girlfriend. I did no longer want to be a soldier !

Luckily, I was allowed to keep my phone and to call friends in the evening, but not during the day. I got this "favor" since I was a reserve CPL. But since I had no valid Legion ID, I was not allowed to leave the Fort de Nogent, not even in the evening for a stroll or to go to an outside bar and have a drink there. But I was allowed to have a drink in the Fort bar for Corporals (not to be confused with the bar devoted to simple legionnaires, the rules were catching up).

On my first day in this fort, I was assigned to a room which I did not like. It was a room for 4 legionnaires: two other Corporals, a Legionnaire 1st Class and me. I wondered if I was really treated as a reservist, but I did not dare ask this to the officer in charge. In any case, a few days before I left to go provisionally back to the Legion, my girlfriend had told me to leave her apartment and I had been sleeping thereafter on one of my friend’s coaches. My girlfriend really did not want to sleep with a legionnaire, even a reservist.

The next day, after the usual and boring reveille ceremony, the officer in charge of the section to which I had been provisionally assigned placed me at the permanent disposal of CNE Leroy, who thus became my MD supervisor until I was transferred to Aubagne where I was told that I would have to sign "my new contract". This sounded strange and fishy to me since I thought that everything was clear cut: I would serve as a reservist because I wanted that and nothing else.

I thus walked towards CNE Leroy’s office and this officer gave me hell for my "stupid behaviour". He shouted that if I had done what he had suggested, I would now be a reserve officer (but nobody offered that possibility to me). I would then be certain to become a psychologist one year later. I would even, possibly, be an active duty officer in the Legion. I replied that I did not know that it was possible, but CNE Leroy shouted that it was too late and that I had to serve for 5 more years now, and even more since I had to serve the remaining part of my first contract.

I did not know that this was a possibility, but CNE Leroy added:
"Due to the great number of new candidates, you will now stay in Fort de Nogent and work as my secretary until July 2. Considering your date of arrival here, you will be paid as a CPL for half a month provided you work as a good CPL of the Legion."

On July 2, at reveille, I was told that I had to gather my "things", put them in my bags, but I had to give back my present uniform and put on my civvies. I was also told that I would now be transported to Aubagne. This was a great surprise since I was supposed to serve as a reservist in Paris, in Fort de Nogent. But I could not object: I had received a direct order. So I changed, got ready, in civvies, and went to Aubagne with "other candidates". That should have made me aware of the situation, but I was confident in the words of CNE Leroy and I stupidly obeyed.

I thus went to Aubagne with a group of new recruits, all of them were younger than I was. None had a University degree. The trip was long and boring: I had already done it once and I did not want it to end in the same way, i.e. end up as a new plain candidate Legionnaire.

As soon as we arrived in Aubagne, I was brutally pushed first in the office of the "reception Adjutant". There I was told that I was a "special case": this Adjutant told me that since CNE Leroy had established that I had fully recovered from my "stupid" accident, I was now back in the Legion with my former rank, i.e. Legionnaire First Class for the time remaining of my original contract. This meant 1 year and 10 months more in uniform as a plain legionnaire. I also had the additional contract prepared by CNE Leroy which would be automatically added to these 22 months for an additional period of 5 years as a full member of the Legion. I had dreamed of the Legion during my stay in the Borstal, but I now despised it since the officers were too brutal with the low ranking men. I also disliked the lack of freedom endured by me when I was an active duty Legionnaire.

Nevertheless, there was a file ready with my Legion ID and I ‘simply’ had to sign my new 5 years contract using my old Legion identity. I could not refuse to sign: a refusal would have sent me to the brig! I was also advised that my matricule number was not changed: I was back IN the Legion as a plain legionnaire. I was thus again Legionnaire First Class Alan Thorwald, Matricule number 201.375. During the train trip to Aubagne I had had some time to think and I had envisaged this possibility since my legs were OK now !

The Adjutant took my phone and broke it so I could no longer use it. This kind man reminded me that since I was again a plain legionnaire, it was strictly forbidden for me to contact the outside world before the end of my basic training, despite the fact that this Adjudant knew perfectly that in fact I was now in Aubagne with a reservist contract ! But he specified that "I was a lucky guy, your stupid reservist contract has been canceled by the General and replaced by a good active duty contract."

I was led to a big room where a Corporal told me to take off all my clothes. Knowing that resisting would not be helpful I obeyed expecting what came next: indeed I received a clean set of legion underwear, a blue training set and sport shoes. I then asked:
"Corporal, why am I, who has already more than 3 years of service as legionnaire, forced to wear a new recruit uniform ?"
The answer was simple: "My boy, this is the uniform you must wear to be tested. You will soon get a new Legionnaire uniform."
"Corporal, may I at least keep my boots: they are already made to my feet and don’t hurt during marches."
"My boy, I’ll see what I can do, but for the time being you must wear the new boots provided here. That’s a direct order !"

I was then sent to a room where other young men, real recruits, were waiting. I did not tell them that this was my second time. I had realized that I would be treated exactly like these new recruits. I had also realized that my future was sealed, at least in France.

I made a short computation: I started my legion "stint" at the age of 19. I stayed there, counting my time in the hospital, for 4 years: I left at the age of 23. Immediately after that I spent 4 great years as a student in Belgium and I was now 27. But, I had just signed a new contract binding me again to this damned Legion for a certain time.
Worse, I had lost my first and real true love. This seemed dreadful. So I did the only possible thing: I slept !

During the three following days, I was tested with the new recruits. I also had special medical and physical tests. Among them, I was told to put on my uniform, new boots included, put a helmet on my head, carry a rifle in front and carry on my back a 20 kilos bag. I was helped in these two exercises by the brelage I now had to wear on top of my vest, attached to my military belt.

For those who ignore it, a belt brace or "brelage" is a harness with a suspension strap system, made of leather or fabric, attached to the belt of a uniform and worn by means of a carrying strap on each shoulder. It consists of leather shoulder straps attached in parallel lines to the front of the army belt, but joining in the back to leave one single strap attached to the back of the belt. It is used to help carry army loads such as bags, or weapons.
It is used to carry equipment, rucksacks or combat bags and prevents the heavy belt from falling off.

The next day, I was told to run as fast as possible with all that material on my back and to cover 4 km. The Corporal supervising this test told me:
"If you fail to do it in an acceptable time, you will remain a simple legionnaire for 5 years."
I ran as fast as possible and succeeded very well

I also had to undergo psychological tests, but there I excelled since I knew the tests. The examiner wrote on his report that "This candidate is an intellectual who must be closely supervised".

Finally, there was an interview with a Captain. Instead of the usual grilling this officer told me that he had seen my complete file, including my Belgian medical file and my attempts to dodge my duty towards the Legion by going to the Belgian Army. He told me some unpleasant "truths".
First, according to the results of my tests I was "fit for duty", full duty except paratrooper and not only secretarial tasks as mentioned in my reservist contract.
As a consequence, and for the sake of continuity, the General commanding the Legion (the "COMLE") had decided that my new contract would simply be a second contract offered to a "good" Legionnaire. In order to do that legally, the General COMLE canceled my medical discharge as I had been told before.

This was not new to me. I was thus told that I had to first finish my original contract, something I knew already, and which meant that starting on this day I had still 1 year and 10 months to serve on my plain Legionnaire contract.

But I also learned on that day that the promises made before I signed this new contract will only be applicable once the first contract is finished: this meant that instead of 22 months reserve as a simple legionnaire, I now had 6 years and 10 months to serve as full Legionnaire. The Captain added that if I did not serve as an excellent Legionnaire, or if I tried to dodge some parts of my retraining as a plain Legionnaire, my debt towards the Legion would be extended to the period of time foreseen in the beginning: 11 years and 10 months of service, but as a plain Legionnaire without possible promotion.

As a consequence of all that, I would not be a free man before 6 years and 10 months. I would thus not be free on civvy street before I had reached the age of 33 and 10 months!

Well, nothing of that kind was new for me, except the last threats ! I was standing in the position of attention, stiff as a picket and looking straight in front of me, eyes looking to the horizon, even when the Captain was moving out of my eyesight !

The Captain then added that I was no longer in a provisional period and thus that I could no longer leave during the first 6 months of my new contract: this "new" contract was only a remaining part of my initial and not completed contract. Should I try to leave, this would amount to an attempted desertion.

He added to all these very negative comments the following remarks:
"Thorwald, during all these years in a university", (this word mentioned with a sort of disgust), "you probably lost your good legion habits, so you must be molded once again in the legion customs. In order to do that, we are going to forget that you have already a Legion past and we are going to re-mold you into our tradition. You will thus have to do ‘the farm’, the first 4 weeks of instruction, with completely new recruits and then the Képi Blanc march. During all that time you are not allowed to mention, even only once, that you have already been through that. After that, and in case of success, the Colonel will decide what must happen with you. Now, dispose correctly or I will correct you, Thorwald."

I saluted, made an about turn and I immediately left, replacing as soon as I was out of this officer’s office, my White Kepi by a plain Legion Green Beret.

That’s how I discovered that I was no longer authorized to wear my Képi Blanc, nor to communicate with the outside world "until a decision has been taken".

Contrary to what had been promised at the start, my rank was no longer Corporal, nor legionnaire 1st Cl : I was what is called in the Legion a "raw recruit" and I would be paid and treated as such until another decision had been taken. For the time being, this Captain advised me honestly: "Don’t tell the other recruits nor the cadre that you have already more than 3 years of service.

I joined the other recruits in the clothing hall to get a complete set of uniforms, including two pairs of new boots. I was told, as I expected, to abandon all the clothes and boots I had until then. The basic argument was : "Thorwald, you must start your new life." I can understand that, but did I have to do it with sore feet ?

I also received my new White Kepi (Képi Blanc). It was in a plastic bag enabling me to try it, but not to wear it. In any case my (old) White Kepi was confiscated with the rest of my former uniform pieces. I was thus a completely "new" legionnaire !

When all that was done, I was sent to the Barber who gave me a severe hair cut. In fact I was shorn to the woods by a Corporal who chose to move briskly on an already shorn head to give the impression that he was doing something useful with what he believed to be a "jailbird".

When that was done, I was sent to my room: a big room full of recruits where I was with 11 other recruits. I did not tell any of them that I had already been through all that !

My only problem was due to my boots. I knew the rest of my new equipment and that did not hurt, but the boots were hurting my feet. I succeeded to get some grease in order to "break" these new boots, not saying a word to the others. Some of them questioned me and I explained that this way I could avoid being hurt by my new boots, but I did not tell how I knew that. Some of my new comrades copied what I was doing and they seemed pleased by the result.

We waited two more days until our section was complete. We, the new recruits (and I was treated as one such new soldier) were treated like that. In fact the basic principle was : "recruits have to do chores, because a recruit who has time to think is a legionnaire who will make mischief."

We were then transported by truck to an old and destitute farm far from everything, something I had also already known "ages" ago, when I was a young new candidate to the Legion.

I had to train in this "farm" for one month and I chose to behave as well as possible. There was a young legionnaire, selected from a previous batch as "corporal-in-training". He was a Russian, not yet 20 years old, younger than all the really new ones in our group. He felt that he had to show his little bit of authority, which made him an unbearable bloke provided by a bit of authority. He was called "fut-fut" because of his special function. He started to dislike me: I was the oldest "candidate" of the group of new recruits and moreover, this young man had heard that I had been to a University.

This fut fut, called Alexis, took me as a scapegoat. He used to call me "the intellectual", he pushed me to make mistakes and even when everything was OK, Alexis punished me severely. The Lieutenant and the Sergeant did not react, even when the other recruits claimed that it was too much. But the Legion system is such that a recruit is not allowed to complain : he would be hit in the face.

I did my best: my old habits as a good legionnaire came back rapidly, but I was often punished by Alexis, our "fut fut" Corporal. He really seemed to like punishing me since he considered me as "an old intellectual" while he was a "young and fit 18 years old legionnaire".

During my time in this "farm", there were several desertions and even more guys who resigned in order to go back freely to civvy street. I did not join them: I knew that I had no other possibility since I was now a french citizen.

The famous march "Képi Blanc" was painful. We had, as a group, to march 60 km in two days. In fact each of us had all his "kit" on his back (about 30 kilos), plus his weapon, a half tent to be used with a comrade during the first and only night. All that had to be done marching rapidly, in step. Possibly, we had to help a failing comrade.

In fact this march, serving as the last test of the initial phase of our initial training, was painful but easier for me than the first time I did it. In fact I think that this time it was shorter !!!

Immediately after the end of this dreadful march, we had to put on our ceremony uniform for the reception of our White Kepi. I did not like the fact that I was back to the Legion but I must admit that it was a moving ceremony. Even I felt that I had "achieved" something. In any case I had accomplish a long march with a lot of weight (and one short night of rest) without failing.

Immediately after that, we were brought back to Castelnaudary where each of us was evaluated and where his future was defined. The ceremony took place in the office of the Unit Commander, a Captain, in presence of the Lieutenant who had followed us, and on the base of our fut-fut report. As far as I was concerned, this should have been a simple formality leading to me being sent to an actual legionnaire unit, and no longer to a basic training unit.

I entered the foreseen office, saluted the two officers as foreseen by the regulations, and took the position of attention. The Captain asked for the Lieutenant opinion who, to my great surprise, said: "You have well relearned the basic routine of legionnaires life, but the fact that you were often punished by your fut-fut shows that you are not completely back in the Legion molde. You must thus stay in this section for the rest of the instruction period."
The Sergeant who had also followed us simply said: "Captain, this Legionnaire functioned perfectly and does not really need more ‘retraining’ but of course the Lieutenant knows better."
The Captain concluded : "Legionnaire Thorwald, you will stay in this training section, with all the restrictions that this implies, until you have completed more time in basic training. This special training will end when your Lieutenant considers that you are again a satisfactory Legionnaire. You will then be assigned to a Legion regiment like the other legionnaires of your section. Stop dreaming that you are an intellectual."

I had thus to spend more time in this "instruction group" with the nasty Alexis and a stupid Lieutenant.

to be continued

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