"See you in court, Baldy!" by Manny

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“See you at 7," I called to Jamie in the parking lot.

“7?" he replied, puzzled. “Did Elizabeth invite you for dinner? It’s her night to play bridge…."

It seemed like Jamie had not been clued in on the plan….

“No, for your haircut," I said casually. “Elizabeth asked me to come over tonight and cut your hair."

“That’s news to me," Jamie remarked, mopping the thick locks that glistened in the sun away from his impish face.

I hesitated about relaying another bit of the plan….

“Uh, um," I hesitated before added, “and she said to bring the clippers. She wants it cut short. I just assumed you did too….but, it seems…"

“It seems like Elizabeth is deciding things for me….AGAIN! That woman!" Jamie fumed.

“Listen, sorry about this. Let’s just forget the whole thing," I stammered. “See you tomorrow."

“No," Jamie sighed, as if throwing in the towel….again.

He was on the losing end of another squabble with Elizabeth. “Just come at 7, and bring the clippers too. If she wants short, she’s getting it!"

Jamie had great sandy-colored hair. Thick and shiny, full of body. But it was generally unkempt and in his face - an overgrown mop, really, usually sloppy, covering his ears and collar. His hair was a shimmering world of unrealized potential.

When I arrived at his house, I found Jamie in the yard smoking and drinking a gin and tonic. It was obviously not his first!

“The barber has arrived!" he exclaimed, as I stepped through the gate carrying my little kit.

“Ready to scalp me?" he asked with a cruel, sadistic-type laugh.

“If you spent a little more time grooming your hair, it would look great at the length it is now," I replied.

I reached over and pushed it away from his face slightly.

Jamie’s face softened with the tenderness of my approach.

“What do you say I just shape it a bit, start with a good washing. A trim and styled with a blow dryer. The full works!" I suggested.

“And have Elizabeth fuming? How about just mowing it all off. A baldy cut!" Jamie countered with a cynical laugh.

“I did bring the clippers, as instructed," I noted, patting my barber kit.

“But first, a G&T for the barber," Jamie insisted, pouring us both a generous serving.

“I’ve had it with that witch," Jamie muttered, as he handed me the glass. “Can you recommend a good divorce attorney?"

I decided to start the haircut as soon as possible to prevent another round of cocktails. Jamie was more than tipsy.

“Let’s wash your hair first. The kitchen sink ought to work well," I said.

I helped Jamie take off his shirt and carefully leaned his head over the sink, hovering close as I doused his locks with tepid water.

As I began to massage his scalp with shampoo, Jamie murmured, “This feels wonderful. I could get used to it."

My fingers worked through his abundant locks as my body pressed against his slight frame.

“I’m worried about you, Jamie. You need to cut back on your drinking and smoking" I said, still working the shampoo through his hair.

“That can only happen after I split with Elizabeth," he replied firmly from beneath the flow of warm water.

I began rinsing his hair and leaned against him closely. I could tell Jamie enjoyed the intimacy of our position as much as I did.

Finally, I turned off the water and wrapped his head in a towel.

As I dried his hair, he remained submissive to my touches and caresses.

“You have amazing hair," I whispered, as I finished towel-drying it.

“Not for much longer," Jamie replied. “I want it all cut off. Down to the wood!"

“First, let me show you how nice I can make it," I urged.

Jamie cooperated and sat still for me to cape him up and comb through his wet locks. At their longest, they measured over six inches.

I began to shape his hair with a scissors, cutting off long chunks from certain areas, and allowing others to benefit from just a trim.

The clumps and snippets rained down on the cape.

“Thank you for being so tender and caring," Jamie said with a voice that wobbled with emotion. “Could I smoke a cigarette while you cut my hair?"

“You need to cut back on the cigarettes, Jamie," I said. “I’m worried about your health."

I combed the forelock up and pressed it between my fingers before lopping off a good three inches.

Then I switched to the thinning shears. It was time to tame his abundant locks.

SNIP, SNIP, SNIP. Comb, comb, comb. Over and over.

Finally, it was time for the blow dryer.

Jamie’s hair looked amazing as I finished drying and styling it. With my fingers, I arranged it into a sexy, layered look. The silken feel was amazing.

“It’s wonderful," he stammered as I held up a mirror.

“You look like a male model, so handsome!" I exclaimed.

Jamie studied it for a while and ran his fingers through it, obviously pleased with my handiwork.

“I do have great hair. I need you to be my personal stylist," he murmured.

I fondled and stroked his lovely hair before starting to unfasten the cape.

“Hold it, we’re not finished!" he said quickly.

“But, you like it, right?" I asked.

“Love it. You did an amazing job. But Elizabeth is expecting a short clipper cut," he began.

Then, after a momentary hesitation, Jamie demanded, “Give me a baldy! And make it tight!!"

“I’ll talk to Elizabeth," I offered. “When she sees how this looks, shaped and styled…."

“No, I want all my hair shaved off. End of discussion!" he insisted.

I plugged in the clippers, with a tinge of regret and a dollop of excitement.

“Are you sure?" I asked.

“The clipped head Elizabeth has concocted will be the straw that broke down our marriage irreversibly. It will be the catalyst for me to file for divorce," Jamie stated with conviction. “I want to stare at the baldy cut in the morning and be reminded why divorce is my only option at this point. I’ve suffered long enough."

I snapped on the machine. The chatter of the metal teeth was disturbing.

“Ready?" I asked, resigned to clip him down to the wood.

He nodded silently. “Just do it," Jamie finally whispered.

I took the clippers straight down the top of his head, from forehead to cowlick, mowing off his beautiful locks to an eighth of an inch. Jamie’s hair tumbled down to the cape in all directions.

The beautiful locks glistened as they fell into oblivion on the kitchen floor. Piles of Jamie’s hair grew around my feet.

The clippers were unforgiving and they hunted down every beautiful lock like a lion pursuing its prey.

I manipulated his head forward so that I could take the clippers tightly up the back. Swaths of stubble replaced the flowing silk.

I heard Jamie whimper a bit as he watched his hair collect on the cape. He remained submissive and cooperative as I thrust his head about this way and that, relieving him entirely of his lush mane.

“Thanks for being such a friend," Jamie said to me softly.

He looked stunned as he examined the piles of his cut hair on the kitchen floor.

“Could I come stay with you for a bit as I think things over about going forward with the big D?" he asked solemnly.

He looked up with pleading eyes that loomed large on his clipped head.

I rubbed his stubble tenderly and replied, “Sure, I’d like that."

Jamie looked so innocent, like a shy young schoolboy with preadolescent charm.

“I miss your beautiful hair," I said, stroking the stubble lightly.

“It will grow back," Jamie reminded me. “I’m glad you were my barber."

The haircut finally ended, and I took off the cape. The kitchen floor was carpeted in sandy-brown hair. Jamie felt his clipped pelt.

He finally took the hand mirror to see his new him.

“I look awful!" he gasped. “A peanut-sized head!!"

He let out a nervous laugh, “This is insane…."

I embraced him from behind and tenderly kissed his nape.

“But, you are even more irresistible to me now, Jamie," I purred.

He basked in the affection.

“And, I want you to be more than a good friend," he replied.

We enjoyed the intimacy of them moment.

“Can you sweep up the kitchen while I pack a suitcase?" Jamie finally asked. “I want to be out of here before she returns."

Sweeping up was my favorite part of being an amateur barber, especially when there were several loads to toss into the trash. Jamie’s hair looked marvelous as I swept it into large piles. I considered keeping a lock of his hair as a memento of that day….

Just as we were leaving, Elizabeth arrived.

She broke into peals of laughter pointing at Jamie’s head.

“A baldy cut! You look goofier than ever," she cackled.

“You’ll be hearing from my divorce attorney," Jamie snapped.

“See you in court, BALDY!" she lashed back.

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