Bad Home Haircut Gone Good by Buzzless Boy

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Before my story begins, I have to tell you some background information about me and my hair. For about the last 3 years, I always started to grow my hair longer around September. When I say “longer”, I don’t mean ponytail length; I mean eyebrow length. My hair would go a little past my eyebrows, but not farther than my eye socket area. I would go to the neighborhood barbershop for a trim every one or two months. When I say “trim”, I mean trim. If they were to chop off ¼ of an inch off the bangs, it was a lot.

Every June, it was back to the barbershop for the annual “summer cut”. It was an average short cut with the hair about 1 or 2 inches all over. The bangs were short enough that they could be stuck up with gel, without looking too ridiculous. But I told the barber “Whatever you do…DON’T MAKE IT A BUZZ!” For some odd reason that I wasn’t sure of, I was practically petrified of buzzes. I’m not sure if I thought it would be too short, or if it would look funny, but to make the story short, I didn’t want a buzz, end of story. Luckily for the 3 years I kept this hair-growth, haircut pattern, I never got one. But as you know, everything has got to happen for a first time, and that’s where my story begins.

Finally, I decided for a change. I know you’re thinking it, but I was NOT thinking of a buzz cut. I decided to wreck my pattern, and try to keep my hair short all throughout the year. I went in for a haircut about twice a month, and kept it trimmed to the length of a “summer cut”.

I kept this new patter up for about two months. On a Saturday in late-October, I went in for my regular trim, except this time to an all men salon with attractive ladies doing the cutting. I had heard about it from a friend, and this was my first time going there. This time, my hair was a little longer than usual, because I had not had it cut in over a month. I walked in and was greeted by a “Hello. Let me take your coat. Would you like anything to drink?” Not only have I never been asked that at the barber, but I have never been asked that by beautiful ladies in their mid-20’s.

I waited in a huge comfy chair for about 15 minutes (it wasn’t very crowded). Then, I was called up. The beautician looked to be about 24, and introduced herself as Aly. “How would you like it cut,” she asked. Of course I had it cut to the usual, “longer on the top, shorter on the back and sides. Only cut it using scissors. I don’t want a buzz cut!” And away went the snipping. When Aly was done, she spun me around and I looked in the mirror. I looked the exact same as I did any other time I got a trim. I paid Aly, and went home.

The next morning, Sunday, I woke up extra early, and went into the bathroom to take a shower. Before I got in, I looked in the mirror and played around with my hair a little bit. Everything was perfect except for one tiny detail. It was the bangs. I had not specified how short I wanted them. They were about an inch, and if I stuck them up, they looked horrible. “Oh, no problem,” I thought to myself, “I can fix this up easily. If Aly can do it, why can’t I?”

So I went down stairs and took out a pair of office scissors, which was my first big mistake. But I wasn’t aware of this at this time, so I took them upstairs back into the bathroom. I held my bangs between my fingers with one hand, and I held the scissors in the other. “Here I go,” I said to myself. I took the scissors and “CHOP!” A lot of strands of hair fell into the sink. I thought that I had done it perfectly, so I wiped out the sink, and got into the shower.


After my shower, I was towel drying my hair and I glanced in the mirror. “Uh-oh,” I thought. I looked at my bang area, and there’s a huge chunk out of the front of my hair. I’m not just talking about the fact that I had no bangs, but there was a good portion of hair missing from my head for about ½ inch in.


“What have I done? I guess I can’t cut it like Aly.” Panicked, I got dressed and threw on a baseball cap. I had no clue what to do. “Should I try to fix it and go buy a cheap pair of clippers and buzz it myself, or should I go back to the salon and get it fixed?” I really enjoyed cutting it myself, and had always wanted to buzz someone’s hair, but I didn’t think it was the smart thing to do at this time, especially since I didn’t want a buzz. “Wait! Maybe I can use some gel to try and spike it up every day until it grows back in so that it is unnoticeable!” I tried that, but of course, it didn’t work. I was stumped and didn’t know what would be the most logical choice.


After about 3 hours of thinking, it was about 3 o’clock in the afternoon. Finally, I decided that the most reasonable decision would be to go back to the shop and get it fixed. I knew that it would be rather embarrassing to tell Aly that I tried to cut my own hair and screwed up, but there was no other choice. So I started to head out the front door until I realized a big flaw in my plan. It was Sunday, and both the new salon and the barbershop were closed. I was trying to think of other barbershops in the area that might have been opened on a Sunday, but there were none that I could think of. “Wait a second. Isn’t there a barbershop in the mall? The mall is opened today, so the barbers must be opened, too.” I called the mall, and found out that the salon was open. So off to Master Cuts I went.


Luckily for me, there was no one else in the shop except for the two stylists. I sat down in the chair without being offered a drink, and the stylist asked, “What can we do for you today?” “Well”, I said, “I made a bad choice this morning and decided to try and be a barber myself.” So I told her the whole story, and she was silent except for the “wow” expression on her face. “Ok then,” she finally replied, “how bad could it be? Take off your cap.” So I did, and the “wow” expression on her face got a lot bigger. “How can we fix this,” I asked. “Unfortunately there is only one way.” And she reached into her drawer, and guess what she pulled out. It was a pair of Wahl clippers. All of a sudden my heart skipped not just one beat, but probably close to 1,000. “Oh no…I have never had a buzz cut before and I don’t feel too sure about this. Are you sure there’s no other way?” With some thought, the stylist replied with “I am afraid not. You cut a chunk pretty far in.” After some deep breathing exercises, I replied with, “Fine, just make it quick. Please try to keep it as long as possible.”


I thought I was done for. I had made one of the biggest mistakes ever. “Buzz, buzz” went the clippers as she placed them on my head for the first swipe. All of a sudden, my thoughts changed. For the five minutes that she ran the clippers through my hair, I thought I was in heaven. Everything on me became really relaxed.


“Hello? Hello? I’m done!” Wow! I was so relaxed I practically went into a trance. I looked in the mirror, and almost started to cry. I looked like a freak! “I cut it to a 3 ½ all over. You can still see the part that you cut off. I can bring it down to a 3 and that will help. Do you want me to?” Three things were going through my head at this time. “One, I have no idea if a 3 is a lot shorter or only a little, two, I loved the feeling of the clippers running over my head, and three, I already look like a freak.” “What the heck,” I said out loud. So the stylist took off the current guard and put on a new one. And there she went again. I was instantly relaxed for the second time.


But this time, I was paying attention and heard when she said that she was done. I looked in the mirror and found a different result than after the first cut. “I look like even more of a freak.” You could see my scalp through my hair buds, and to summarize, I was not pretty. “Don’t worry. You’re friends will only comment on your haircut for one day, and besides, you’ll get a lot more attention because everyone will be rubbing your head.” I thought to myself, “Oh gosh! My friends! They will totally make fun of me for it! Yahoo! Now I look like a freak and I’ll hear it 5 ga-billion times tomorrow!” After that thought ended, I remembered the other thing the stylist had said. My head! Within a split second, I threw my hand out from under the cape, and practically attacked my head! It was the best feeling ever, even better than the cutting in the first place! I paid the stylist, and for the entire ride home, I was rubbing my head. “Maybe this isn’t so bad after all,” I thought. But then the thought of me being a freak took control of my mind again.


As soon as I got home, I ran into the bathroom to look at the new me. Yuck! I did not look good with that short of a buzz. The scalp I could see was extremely pale. The only good part about this cut was the feel. But what I found weird is that you couldn’t see my scalp on the back and the sides. It was only visible on the top.


The next day, I found another plus to the new do. It was showering. All it took was a dab of shampoo for my head to be washed. There was no massive scrubbing or anything. When I got out of the shower, I felt my head and it was dry already. With my long hair, I would take over a minute to towel dry it, and it still wouldn’t be completely dry! After a little bit of more head-rubbing, I got dressed and headed off to see my friends.


It was just about the same reaction I thought it would be. It was pretty much all “YOU GOT A BUZZ CUT!”s and “WHY’D YOU DO IT?”s. And a whole lot of head-rubbing. Except what I wasn’t expecting was a few “Cool! Nice haircut!”s.
The head rubbing thing continued for about a week, and after the 3rd or 4th day of looking at myself in the mirror, I started not to mind my buzz anymore.


I thought I was going to go back to my original cut that I had before the scissors accident. So I let my hair grow for about a month, and then I returned to the all men’s salon. I was greeted the same as last time. After waiting about a half hour, I was called to sit in a different chair, this time owning to a not-as-pretty-as-last-time lady named Sally. As I sat down in the comfy chair, I was asked, “What can I do for you today?” I replied with “Longer on the top, shorter on the back and sides. Please use the scissors. I want my bangs cut short enough so they can be stuck up using gel, please.” “Ok, then. Here we go.” Sally started to get her materials from the shelves next to the mirror. “Wait! Can I change that?” “Sure you can,” she replied with a smile. “Can I have a 3 on the back and sides, a little longer on top, but please cut it with scissors for the top?” “No problem,” Sally said, as she went back to the shelf to get out the clippers and the appropriate guard. It was the first time in my life I had ever asked for clippers. This cut wasn’t as relaxing as the full buzz because she wasn’t going over my entire head, but it was still fun. When Sally was done, I looked in the mirror, and said out loud “I think I’ve found the perfect hairstyle for me.” “Yes, it looks very nice on you,” she said with a wink. I paid Sally and went home.


When I got home, I sat in front of the mirror and stared at my new style. I really liked it. I still rubbed my head, but not as much because the top was way more fun to rub. When I saw my friends the next day, they gave the “you got a haircut” speech as usual, but I was surprised that they didn’t rub my head. I thought that even if I had a buzz on the back, they would have rubbed it, but they didn’t. I guess friends only rub the top of your head, not the back or sides.


I enjoy the scissor/buzz style, and continue to keep it up. At my next haircut, I got the same 3 on the back and sides, longer on the top style. But for the haircut after that, I tried something a little shorter. This time I got the same longer on top, cut with scissors, but for the back and sides, I tried a 2 ½. I really liked the shorter clipper setting, because I love the feel, and the fact that it is extremely easy to take care of in the morning. The cut after that, I tried something even shorter. I asked for a 2 ½ for the back and sides, but a 6 on top. This was the first time in my entire life that I had ever wanted my entire head cut with clippers. After the cut, the top felt awesome as usual, and I also liked the way the style looked on me.


Now, I am planning to grow my hair out for two months, and then get it cut with a 5 all over. I like to grow it longer and then get it cut, for many reasons. Two of these reasons are I love looking at before and after pictures of my hair, and you are popular for a day, even if they are making fun of you. If I get it cut in this way, not only will it be the first time ever that I ask for my hair to be cut the same length all around using clippers, but everyone will feel my head, including me, and it will be a lot easier to take care of. Plus, when they buzz off a lot of hair, it is fun to have the hair fall off your head onto your cape.
To be honest, I am sort of glad that I cut my hair that one Sunday morning. If I didn’t, I would of never been able to experiment the wider range of hairstyles that I enjoy so much today.


I hope you have learned two things from my hair drama. You should never cut your own hair, but if you love to, like me, be extra careful or you might just ended up losing all of your locks. The other thing is don’t be afraid to go out of your box as I was. Even if you may not want the buzz or the huge transformation haircut, sometimes, you might end up loving the end result. 2

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