My name is Ben Fowlkes (part 2) by thadeusz

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The day before Christmas day, Jennifer announced to us, the three children, that the next day, we would have a great dinner. Grandmother and Grandfather would come. She added that she wanted us to be well dressed. Louisa and Alex were told which clothes they should put, but for me Jennifer had another approach:
"Ben, you are big now. What do you plan to wear tomorrow for this special lunch ?"
"Jennifer," (I sometimes said ‘mother’ since my real mother no longer answered my letters, but Jennifer did not approve) "I thought it would be good if I wore the clothes Father bought for me when I first arrived."
"Ben, you have left your uniform in your cupboard since you arrived. Don’t you think that your Grandmother would like to see it ?"
"Jennifer, should I really wear my uniform during the holidays ? I thought I would be free to stay in civvies as long as I am not on the train going back to school."
"You don’t like your uniform ?"
"That’s not the point, I like it very much although at the start I thought I would hate it. But my uniform is associated with schoolwork, and I don’t like schoolwork."
"Fine with me, I like you as you are, and I am proud of you."
That was the first time Jennifer told me something that kind.
"But it will not be the case with your Grandmother. She needs to see you in school uniform to be able to be proud of you. So now, you are going to clean and iron this uniform and help your brother to prepare his clothes. You will also walk quickly with your brother and bring him to Mr Miller’s who will refresh your haircuts. I know you feel it is not needed, but there will be no more discussion about this."
Jennifer was now speaking precisely as Father when he gave orders, and I realized that she was right: for my Grandmother appearance was more important than reality. So I did as I had been told, I even told Alex to obey since he did not want to have a haircut. Curiously, when I told him what I wanted him to do he looked at me and said, humbly:
"Ben, you start speaking like Father. I will obey your orders."

We were all in our best dresses when my grandparents arrived. Father was in a parade uniform, Jennifer and Louisa had beautiful dresses, Alex had his best clothes on and I was in school uniform. Grandfather remained silent but Grandmother talked a lot and then gave us our presents : a teddy bear for Louisa who did no longer play with hers, a toy car for Alex who spent most of his free time reading books, and a five pounds note for me "to be used wisely at school" where we were not allowed to have more money than our small weekly allowance. Grandmother was really great, but really not in tune with her grandchildren.

As soon as we were seated at the dinner table, Grandmother attacked again. Her domain was now our results at school, and mine were rather bad. She started with me and asked:
"Ben, you are nearly 16. You will take your GCSE exam this year."
That is the General Certificate of Secondary Education given after Year 11.
"Did you already think about the A levels you are going to prepare for ? And the further studies you envisaged ?"
I was really annoyed and started to answer painfully:
"Well, Granny, …"
But father interrupted all that rather brutally:
"Mother, Ben has studied in America and their system is very different. In fact their studies cover a wider field, but not as deeply as ours. That’s why I decided to place Ben in Year 9 where he is doing very well. There is thus no point in asking him now questions about his GCSE which remains for later. Alex is doing well in his British school and will join Ben in his present school, but only in two years. Louisa is too young to speak about her school. And now, let’s stop questioning the children and eat the marvelous Christmas eve dinner prepared by Jennifer."
I realized that father had been my main defensor even if he had twisted the facts a little bit. He spoke with his usual energy and I admired him very much.

I realized that father had been my main defensor even if he had twisted the facts a little bit. He spoke with his usual energy and I admired him very much.
been silenced. But she nevertheless had to say a last word and she succeeded to add something But my Grandmother did not feel she was beaten and kept speaking about school:
"Ben, I hope that you realize that in this country, which is your country, a good education is essential. Especially in this family. Do you understand ?"
Father replied:
"Ben is fully conscious of all that and ready to do his best. Let’s eat now."
And Grandfather added, speaking to Grandmother:
"My dear, John" (that’s my father's first name) "is right. Stop bothering poor Ben with your questions and let’s eat Jennifer’s Christmas dinner."

It was the first time I heard Grandfather speak, and he used an effective tone, as if he was still Colonel of his regiment. I admired him for that. In any case, I thought I was saved: Grandmother had scornfully:
"Ben, you look good in your uniform and with this haircut. I never thought you would reach our family standards."
But Father added:
"Ben is my eldest son and that’s it."

Then came the traditional pudding: it was my first British Christmas and I liked this meal very much, except for Granny’s awful words. After that, Louisa, Alex and I were sent to our rooms and the adults kept discussing. We could hear the tone of their voice and it was obvious that Father had not liked his mother’s attitude. Alex reminded me that "we were the true men of the family" and that was the end of my first British Christmas.

The day after Christmas is called Boxing Day, it is a holiday in Great Britain. After breakfast, Jennifer told me that my father was waiting for me in his office, alone ! I went to the little office and according to the rule Father had imposed on his children, I first said:
"Sir, Good morning Sir."
"Good morning Ben," replied my father from behind his desk, "at ease cadet."
This sounded weird, my father never called me "Cadet" and also he did not give me military orders like the one he had given: usually in his office, after the first very respectuous greetings it was "be seated my son" and "thank you father". Obviously, this time it was an order, and no discussion could be envisaged. So I took the position of attention, saluted my father, the Colonel, and took immediately the position "at ease" saying:
"At your command Sir", I was using the attitudes and answers which had been taught during the Army Cadet Corps meetings.
Father continued:
"Well said, Cadet. Today I want you to stick to ‘Sir’ and forget ‘father’ when you address me. Understood ?"
"Sir, yes Sir."
"Cadet, I helped you yesterday and I lied to your grandmother when I said that you were working well at school. I have your report here and it is very bad. Can you explain that ? Are you too stupid to understand or too lazy to study ?"
"Sir, it is true that my school report is bad, but I don’t like to study in classes. There is one domain where I, hum sorry Sir, where this cadet is good."
"That is true, you are the best cadet in the Army Cadet Corps. But that does not justify the rest. I have here a report by SGT Romans, who is I believe your supervisor for the Army Cadet Corps. He writes that you are his best cadet and considers you as a born soldier. I will only mention his conclusion later, after you explain to me the mess you are in."
"Sir, permission to speak freely, Sir ?"
Father was now really smiling hearing me speaking and behaving like I had been told to do in the ACC.
"Go ahead, Cadet"
"Sir, this Cadet has been abandoned to his mother’s care and his mother did not teach him how to study nor the importance of studying in the same way as the Colonel and his wife are doing for Alex and Louisa. Sir this Cadet has had no real school training and was very pleased to pass without really studying, so he does not wish to study further, Sir."
I had tears in my eyes while I was explaining, in covert words, how I had been abandoned by my mother while my brother and sister were well treated. Father noticed it but went on:
"So what do you want to do now, Cadet."
"Sir, this Cadet would like to join the Army Foundation College in Harrogate in order to train and enlist in the Royal Marines."
"As a Private or as an Officer, Cadet ?"
"As a Private, Sir"
"Do you know about the restrictions imposed on RM soldiers ?"
"Yes Sir, this cadet discussed it at great length with a friend in the school. This friend’s father is CPL in the RM."
"So you know about the rigors of a soldier’s life in the Royal Marines and you want to enlist there as a Private ?"
"Sir, Yes Sir."
"And how did you hear about the AFC ?"
I noticed that Father had dropped the "Cadet" and was now really smiling, but I did as if I was still a Cadet reporting ‘as ordered’ to his superior officer.
"Sir, my friend told me about it. Sir"
"I understand better now, Cadet. But I cannot accept that my eldest son becomes a Private without any diploma. So, I offer you a deal: you will work as much as you can and get help from your teachers in order to succeed in your present school year. If you do so, I will authorize you to go to the Army Foundation College and enlist later in the Royal Marines. But if you fail in June, you will have to repeat your Year 9 with younger Cadets. Agreed ?"
"Sir, Yes Sir"
"Be seated Ben, my son."
As soon as I was seated father continued:
"I am sorry if you feel that I abandoned you to your mother and if you have the impression that she did not care for you. In fact, that’s why I was so glad when she decided to send you here: this enables me to take directly care of you."
"Thank you Sir."
"You can drop the ‘Sir’ now that we had our little discussion and that we reached an agreement about your studies. One more thing: I will ask your headmaster to reduce your presence in the Army Cadet Corps to a minimum. I know that you don’t like the idea, but this will give you the necessary time to work on your school work during the weekends, and believe me, you will need lots of time because you are really behind. Now tell me more about your friend and his father."
I told Father everything I had done with Andrew, his desire to study further but his decision to join Welbeck 6th form in order to become an Army technical officer: Andrew wanted in fact to study medicine but he knew his parents did not have enough money to pay for that. Father asked me then Andrew exact name and his father’s rank and regiment, which luckily enough I knew. He then said:
"This man should be promoted SGT as soon as possible and his son should have a scholarship to enable him to study further without feeling that he must join the Army if he does not really feel like it".
He finally told me something I had not expected:
"Ben, you must know that I am glad that one of my sons chooses to join the military, even if it is as a Private, but it is in a very select regiment. I hope that this means that you liked my example and that you don’t join the Army simply to escape schoolwork."
"No father, I really want to be a soldier like you. I know I don’t have the head to become an officer like you are, but Alex probably will continue as you continued what Grandfather did. I simply want the happy, and hard, life of a soldier."
"In that case, I am really glad. Thank you Ben for this Christmas present."
"Father, may I ask for a favor ?"
"Ask and I’ll see if it is possible."
"Father, I have still a few days off and since I will not go to the Army cadet Corps next term, could I spend my last days in the barracks, in your regiment ?"
"Ben, did you take your Army Cadet Corps uniform with you ?"
"No Sir."
"In that case my answer is NO. But take that uniform with you for the Spring Holidays and, after looking at your school report, I might say YES. Go now, your brother and sister are waiting for you."

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