A Guy at Work by Buzzorama

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He is a big, tall guy. Italian. Jet black, straight hair. We'll call him Tony. That's not his real name, but the rest of this story is 100% true, I swear.

On Friday, his hair was medium long, over the ears a half inch or so. He had a 3/4 part, slicked down. Even though his hair was long, it looked like he had recently had his version of a haircut. It had "stylist" written all over it! It was revolting. The back was blocked straight across, but way too far down on the neck. And the taper, if you could call it that, was a wreck. His slick black hair bowed out like a semi-circle from the top, then just buzzzt ended with this gross bad blocking.

He got a REAL HAIRCUT over the weekend! Must have been a few Saturdays ago -- the Saturday before the Superbowl. (I guess maybe he was ashamed to show up at a Superbowl party like that?)

It was like night and day. The reason? He obviously went to a BARBER SHOP, not a style parlor. I am guessing he got sick of dealing with the length. He looked around the world and saw most guys with very short cuts, and knew he could never get that type of haircut at a stylist. He either picked out a barbershop on his own, or was recommended by a friend. The Superbowl was on Sunday, maybe he went WITH a friend that was attending the same party. Maybe the friend helped him along.

More guessing here -- when he entered the barbershop, it was crowded. He watched many guys his age get haircuts while he waited. There were all VERY short, as is the norm today. He saw how his own hair style looked very long compared to everyone else's.

If he was with a friend, which was likely, the friend went first. But in a crowded shop, it's possible they both got their cuts at almost the same time. Given Tony's previous cut, it's obvious he had no clue how to instruct a barber. His friend must have helped here. He must have told Tony's barber, either in so many words or non-verbally, to give Tony a real haircut. That's what he got.

He came in to work today (Monday) totally transformed. I'll describe it all in glorious detail. Tony now had a short, immaculately groomed regular man's hairuct. The 3/4 part was history. A side part was firmly fixed in place, and would obviously never be changed again. The unruly sideburns were completely gone. Most of them were just shaved off. What remained was clipped close to the skin and leveled off neatly. His sideburns had been shaved three times -- once by the barber and twice by Tony himself as he accepted their new short length on Sunday and Monday.

The bangs, which had hung down loose over the forehead, were also gone. With the side-parting firmly instituted, the bangs were combed firmly to the right and back off the forehead. There was little choice but to wear them this way. Even combed foward, they would have been far too short to cover the forehead. So the bangs were gone forever too.

The biggest difference was in the back. The back had previously been covered by a thick mat of slick black hair, semi-circular shaped. It jutted out so far in the back, it would swing out straight if Tony turned his head quickly to one side. This mess was all gone now. It was evident that the barber had taken clippers to the back of Tony's head, and run them all around the sides too.

All length in back was completely gone. The slick, thick, ropelike black hair had been buzzed away. Although it was still shiny, there was nowhere near enough length for one strand to even combine with another. Each stubbly hair stood on its own. Tony had been buzzed, and all the way up to the crown. His scalp and the back of his neck were almost fully visable now, no longer hidden.

Behnind the ears was the most interesting. Before, this had been a ragged danger zone. It was obvious that Tony's barber had shaved a straight line at the edge of the hairline, right behind the ears, and around the ears. This was probably a first for Tony. Stylists never do this. That's part of why they suck. Tony must have been startled when the shaving creme was applied behind his ears and on the back of his neck. He probably sat silently while he was shaved. What the hell, he probably said to himself, everyone else is getting it done. Whatever.

Back to the back -- the barber had demolished the revolting blocked back, and in its place left a perfect, beautiful taper, which was buzzed unreservedly up the back of Tony's neck to the crown of his head. He was probably shocked when he saw in the mirror how short it was. You can see the skin almost all the way up! So short! Imagine what he must have felt when he touched the back for the first time. That buzzy feeling, from which there is no return. Rubbing it over and over. No more combing. Buzzed. Cool!

This was not a trim. This was not a small difference. This was a huge, huge, radical difference. This was a REAL BARBERSHOP HAIRCUT. No two ways about it. All day Monday, as they saw Tony, almost everyone reacted. The women were all thrilled and excited. What a big deal! They were gushing. They all felt the back of his head. He smiled alot. The men were not as expressive, but they commented quietly. "You got a haircut." Yeah, Tony told them. "Looks good." And that was the end of the subject.

And Tony seemed to like his new haircut. He isn't the kind of guy who thinks about such things too much -- or at all -- but I could tell he likes his new look. And oh yes, he'll be going back for more barbershop haircuts.

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