Indebted by aells

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Nick's thumb hovered over the Send button. He knew that doing this would be an unimaginable relief, but... he felt so guilty. So selfish. But the anxiety had been killing him for weeks. It could all be over so easily. All he had to say was:

"Hey man. I am really really super sorry but I feel like garbage rn, think I have the flu or something. I dont think I can come to the fundraiser :/ take lots of videos for me though! Hope it goes well"

And he would be out of it. Done! Free! Maybe some people would ask about it afterwards, but if he dodged the questions long enough, eventually people would forget, right? He ran his free hand through his chocolate-colored hair, soft and thick and feathery. There was no way he could go through with this. Sorry, Seth.

He hit Send. He breathed out and laid back in bed. A weight had left his shoulders.

The reply from Seth came a few minutes later:

"Bummer :( but I get it! You need to take care of yourself. Feel better dude <3"

Nick smiled. He should've known Seth wouldn't be mad. Seth was a super chill guy, the most competent and likable of Nick's fellow RA's by a longshot. The heart in his message was a little odd, but Nick didn't think much of it. As a matter of fact, he wanted to just lay back and think of nothing at all. Maybe take a nap.

Well, until his phone vibrated with another message from Seth.

"We'll have to find another time to do the haircut. Lotta people wanted to see you but they can settle for a video lol."

Nick's breath hitched. There it was. It's fine, he told himself, just keep making excuses until everyone forgets. Between classes and homework and being an RA, it's not crazy to think he'd just be too busy.

There was a little guilt in Nick's mind for reneging on his promise to Seth. Seth had been a member of the planning committee for the university's annual student-run cancer fundraiser since freshman year, and junior year was his first time in a really important position. There were small events in lead up to the big one at the end of first semester: bake sales, raffles, pizza parties, the usual. But the big show that everyone got excited for was the grand finale event, which involved dancing, catered food, raffles, and performances from whatever sorta-famous musician they could afford to hire on the university's budget. But there was one thing at the big event that really grabbed everyone's attention: the haircut drive. In the weeks leading up to it, any student or faculty member could pledge to shave their heads live on stage if they reached a certain amount in donations from their friends and family. Very few people had ever failed to reach the goal, and those who did usually got the haircut anyways to be a good sport. The more popular the student or professor, the higher their pledge goal would be, leading to certain people getting thousands of dollars in exchange for their hair.

Nick had never even considered signing up for the pledge drive. It was admirable, he thought, but it's not for him. He'd rather donate to other people who were crazy enough to do it. This year, however, had been his first year working in the same building as Seth, whose passion for the project saw him ask nearly everyone he knew to put their hair on the line for a good cause. Nick knew that with his glimmering shoulder-length auburn hair, which he loved to rustle and toss around to make girls swoon, he'd be a prime target. Seth eventually succeeded in convincing one girl he was in a club with— which made Nick think (or hope) that he'd be satisfied enough to drop his campaigning. For the most part he was... but for some reason, Seth still seemed hellbent on nagging Nick into signing up. "The freshmen love you, dude" he'd say. "Imagine how many of them would donate if you signed up— we'd get so much money for the cause!" Nick would always reply with "I don't know, man...", and some other wishy-washy excuse. Seth would continue: "You'd look great with a shaved head! I know the hair is your thing, but I think it'd be good on you."

One day, Seth said something that struck a nerve:

"What's wrong, Nick? Are you scared of a little haircut?"

And, finally, Nick felt like he couldn't run from it any more. So he agreed to the cut, and he'd been regretting it ever since. He'd lost sleep over it, preening in the mirror and trying to imagine himself practically bald. It was a painful thought; every image he conjured was hideous. Of course, between his adoring residents and other people around campus who knew him, Nick's fundraising goal was surpassed in no time, even though he'd set one of the highest goals of anyone who'd signed up. His fate had been set in stone— or so he thought. As the date approached, Nick fantasized about weaseling out of his promise. He was hesitant at first, knowing how many people spent money to see it happen. But screw it, he thought, the money is going to cancer research no matter what. If people throw a hissy fit over his hair, thats their problem. What are they gonna do, ask for the money back?

Despite the nagging guilt, Nick tried to recapture the relief he'd felt a few moments ago, sinking back into his cheap dorm mattress. He scrolled on his phone for a bit and then heated up some ramen in his personal microwave— an RA perk. He wasn't going anywhere tonight— he "had the flu", after all— so it was time to get as comfortable as he could.

******
Nick ate his ramen and watched about 2 hours of YouTube before dozing off. When he woke up, it was way past midnight— he'd been out for hours. Man, maybe he really was sick and in need of rest. He rubbed his face to wake himself up, feeling his short, coarse facial hair beneath his fingers.

This also meant that the big fundraiser event was over. A pang of curiosity resonated in Nick's head over what he'd missed, so he pulled up Instagram to see if there were any photos or videos of the carnage. Sure enough, when he visited the page run by the fundraising team, he was greeted by numerous reels showcasing each and every shearing of the night.

Nick watched as one by one, students and faculty members of all genders lost their hair, smiling underneath their capes. Frat guys, old professors, androgynous punks, even a couple sorority girls were all shaved down to stubble by volunteers with clippers and matching tshirts. Bangs, ponytails, braids, curls, cowlicks, combovers, all of them were decimated. As he watched, Nick clutched at his own soft locks protectively. A few of the victims gasped, most of them laughed. None of them cried, though. Nick felt extremely validated in his decision. He knew for a fact that if he had really been up there with them, getting his lion's mane shorn off in front of hundreds of people, he would've cried like a baby. It would've been humiliating.

In the final reel, Seth himself sat in a chair, caped up and grinning ear to ear. Nick knew that this had become Seth's yearly tradition: going all year without any major haircuts, letting his charcoal curls grow out into a big, shapeless puff-ball, just to shave it all off at the big fundraiser for maximum dramatic effect. On screen, Seth took off his glasses as a female volunteer pushed the unruly hair at the nape of his neck upward, and positioned the heavy clippers underneath. She pushed them upwards, seemingly enjoying shaving him slowly. The clippers crested at his crown, then continued forward to his hairline, creating a strip of stubble in the exact center of his head. Seth beamed with pride. The crowd erupted with gleeful cheers as the dusty black ringlets tumbled down his chest, landing in his lap. The volunteer continued the buzzing, moving back to front so that everyone could see the destruction front and center. She picked up the pace, now moving the clippers almost furiously, rushing Seth's transformation from a mop-headed boy next door to a stud with a shaved scalp. When the top of his head was shaved bare, and Seth looked clownish with the curls still on the sides of his head, he picked up the pile of hair caught on his cape and held it up in triumph. When it was done and Seth's entire head of hair was lying severed on the ground, he looked like a new man. Much of the softness of his face had evaporated; now, he looked suave and intimidating, a smirk of confidence on his face that contrasted the goofy grin of excitement from earlier. He looked good. Very, very good. And he knew it.

Nick closed the app and turned his phone off. He felt oddly exhilarated by what he'd just witnessed. Seth's new look lingered in his mind.

******

The next day was a Saturday, and Nick was on his way out of the building to go study at the library when Seth turned the hallway corner. Nick suddenly felt a fight or flight urge to hide from Seth's gaze, but it was impossible. He didn't know whether he was just trying to avoid discussion of his outstanding hair debt, or whether it was something more.

"Nick!" Seth yelled. "Dude, we missed you last night!"

"Yeah, I saw the videos— it looked fun! Sorry I couldn't be there."

Nick took a good look at Seth's sheared head. The ridges of his browbone were sharp; his hairline had a perfectly symmetrical widow's peak. The outline of his skull wasn't perfectly round, but its more squared-off shape enhanced his look even more. It made him look serious and tough.

"I take it you're feeling better? You look like you're doing well." Oh crap, Nick thought. He'd somehow forgotten he'd lied about being sick.

"Yeah, I'm not totally in the clear, uh... but I took a lot of medicine yesterday and this morning. It's, uh, it's working pretty well!"

"That's good," Seth said. "Well, when you feel even better we gotta talk about your haircut. We're gonna match!" Seth ruffled Nick's hair, and though Nick would normally be angered by this, he merely felt a sense of astonishment. His eyes lingered on that cocky smirk that Seth magically developed the night before when all his hair fell to the ground.

"Y-yeah... yeah, of course. Uh, I gotta go study but... I'll see you around!" Nick realized with a jolt that his face was hot, which probably meant he was blushing. He wondered if Seth could tell.

With a departing look that felt almost predatory, Seth turned to leave.

******

In the last few weeks of fall semester, Nick became adept at dodging the questions about his hair. Now, on top of everything else, it was time for finals, so everyone was stressed and eager to go home for the holidays. Slowly, people stopped asking; his residents stopped teasing him about the alleged impending baldness and his friends seemed to forget entirely. Even his mother, who'd heard about the event and who'd always been on Nick's case about his hair being too long, gave up and stopped questioning whether he was going to be bald on Christmas. Time passed. Nick passed all his finals. He and the other RAs stayed behind a few days to close up the dorms before heading home. Everyone seemed to forget about Nick's hair.

Except Seth.

Seth continued asking. Gently nudging Nick to get it over with, asking when he'd be free to do it, like it was a certainty. Gradually, Nick sensed that Seth's frustration was growing. His chipper demeanor and friendly smiles became less frequent. In RA meetings, Nick could feel Seth's eyeballs glaring at him. If burning this bridge was the cost of staying pretty, Nick didn’t mind. He didn't have to be friends with Seth. He just had to be a decent coworker. He just wished Seth would stop making it so difficult.

When Nick finally made it home with his hair intact, he finally felt the weight lift off his shoulders again, like the night he'd canceled.

******

At the end of January, the RAs arrived a few days before the rest of the student body to reopen the dorms. Nick was returning to campus feeling pretty carefree. The hair debacle still lingered in his mind, but it felt like the distant past. He didn’t expect Seth to be very friendly towards him— that damage was done; but surely after a whole additional month and some change, he's moved on and accepted that it's not happening.

When Nick first encountered Seth back in the building though, he was... friendly. Extremely friendly. It was like nothing had even happened. It felt strange to Nick. Almost stranger, Seth's head was still shaved down to almost nothing. By now, he should've already been growing it back in for next year. He should have the beginnings of some fresh curls on his head. Instead, he looked like he'd just gotten a fresh trim. Maybe Seth had lost interest in the project; maybe he'd decided he was better off without his hair, and Nick was better off with his.

After a rough first day of cleaning and checking facilities, Nick was sore and wanted nothing more than a shower. Without any residents, he was alone on his entire floor. Thankfully, he had a private bathroom in his room and didn't have to use the communal showers, even if he was all by himself. He luxuriated in the hot shower, feeling physically worn but emotionally content. After lingering longer than he needed, he exited the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist and carefully blowdried his hair. The chill January air gave him goosebumps, so he hurriedly opened to door to change into some warm clothes.

When he stepped into the main dorm room and shut the bathroom door, he screamed. There was someone else in the room. Seth, as a matter of fact.

"Dude, what the f***?" he yelled. "What... how are you even in here?"

Seth smirked at him, raised his eyebrows, and held up a lanyard. It was the one of the master keys, capable of opening any dorm room in the building.

"You can't do that! It's a rule, I can get you f***ing fired for thi—"

"You thought I forgot, huh?" Seth interrupted.

"What?"

"Your haircut. You thought I forgot all about it." The smirk was plastered across his face. Nick was speechless.

Seth took the chair from Nick's desk and dragged it to the center of the room. "Have a seat," he said.

"I'm not doing this, Seth. I don't want to."

"Finally, you just admit it instead of trying to bulls**t me. You're a terrible liar."

"I never wanted to do it in the first place, Seth!" Nick was shouting now. No one would hear him, anyways. "I only said yes because you wouldn't get off my back about it! What is your problem?!"

Seth's voice remained calm. "It wasn't about the fundraiser, Nick. I mean, I still care about it, I do. When I asked other people to join, I didn't have any ulterior motives. That was genuinely for the cause. You, though? I just wanted to see you do it."

"Why? Why me?"

"Because I think you're cute."

Nick felt all the blood in his body rush to his face. The thought of Seth being attracted to him was overwhelming. His entire body suddenly felt hot despite the cold temperatures.

"The problem, though," Seth continued, "is that I'm not into long hair. So every time I saw your pretty face with all that hair covering it, I wanted nothing more than to see it all on the floor."

"Seth—"

"I see how you look at me, Nick."

"I don't... I'm not..."

"Into guys? Could've fooled me, the way you got flustered when you saw me in the halls that day. Just trust me, Nick. I know what I'm doing and I know what I want."

Seth stepped towards Nick until their faces were almost touching. He backed Nick into the chair until he sat down, still clad only in his towel.

"Seth, if there is anything else, literally anything at all, that I can do to make up for this, just tell me. I'll do it," Nick said weakly.

"You weren't even sick, were you? Nah... you were just a coward," Seth smirked.

Tears welled up in Nick's eyes. It was the fear and the shame mixing together and bubbling over. "I'm sorry," he whined. "I was just scared, Seth. Please." The tears rolled down his cheeks.

"And now you're crying about it... you're pathetic, Nick. All this just because of your stupid hair." He dropped the shoulder bag he'd been carrying. From it, he pulled out a pair of silver cordless clippers.

Nick could've easily run away. There was no one in the building. It wouldn't have mattered if he ran into the hallway practically naked. He could go down to their supervisor, explain that Seth broke into his room and was trying to torment him. He could've gotten Seth fired. So... why didn't he move? Why did he stay in the chair? Why did he just sit there and take it as Seth stood behind him, raking his fingers through Nick's hair? His rational brain and his body were disconnected. Some part of him must actually want this.

Seth turned on the machine and a harsh buzzing filled the air. "Actually, this is way better than if you'd just shut up and done it like you were supposed to. Now, I can do it all myself."

Nick felt a tremendous pain as his head was yanked backward. He let out a loud, involuntary cry. Seth had grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled on it hard, directing Nick's gaze upward. Seth was holding intense eye contact with him. He had a massive grin on his face. Seth wanted to see the shock in Nick's eyes as he made the first move. He wanted to watch Nick melt into submission as he realized this was really happening, and that for however long this process took, Seth was going to own him.

Nick's pleading eyes stayed locked to Seth's hungry ones as Seth positioned the unguarded machine in the center of Nick's hairline. His long reddish-brown locks, clinging to their last moments of life, dangled freely over the back of the chair. Nick was overwhelmed; he shut his eyes in anticipation of feeling the clippers move into his mane.

Seth crouched down and rumbled in Nick's ears: "Open your eyes. Now." And for some reason, Nick obeyed.

Seth pulled the clippers back slowly. He was savoring this as much as he could. They attacked Nick's hair, cutting away everything he loved about himself. He was losing his hair. He was losing his identity. More and more locks fell to the ground, leaving in their wake a wide patch of exposed skin and stubble.

Nick couldn't speak. He just let the tears roll down his cheeks as Seth stared at him, taking pleasure in his loss. Nick sat in the grief of losing his hair as Seth claimed another strip of hair with the machine, from hairline to nape. Yet at the same time, Nick felt... a desire. Even with the mocking look on Seth's face, he imagined how those lips would feel against his own. He imagined Seth's shaved head rubbing against his own as their bodies entangled. He imagined what sensations Seth was about to awaken in him, once he was finished taking his beauty from him.

Seth chuckled as Nick sat before him with only a shadow of his former glory left on the top of his head. He pushed Nick's head down and to the side, in order to strip away the locks from the right half of his head. Nick felt Seth's fingertips against a patch of his shaved head for the first time and exhaled shakily, suppressing a moan. He still obeyed the order to keep his eyes open and watched all his hair fluttering down around him. Some fell on the floor, some on his lap, and some on his bare shoulders. The vibrations in his skull felt electric, exciting and painful all at once. The noise grew deafening whenever Seth drove the clippers close to his ear.

Nick's head was now shaved everywhere but on its left side. To finish the job, Seth stood to the opposite side of him, wrapped an arm around his neck, and pulled Nick's head so that it was pressed against his stomach. Overstimulated, Nick just sat frozen and didn't fight the other man's harsh gesture. He merely stared at the floor and waited for what seemed like ages for Seth to finish the job and silence the machine.

As the last lock was shaved away, Seth stepped back to admire his handiwork. Nick refused to look at him.

Seth chuckled. "God, I knew you'd be so much hotter this way." Then, he began sifting through his bag on the floor. "Step one, done." He pulled out a can of shaving cream and a razor.

"And now for step two."

Nick broke his catatonic state and his eyes widened at the sight. "Wait, no," he said. "The razor wasn't part of it! Nobody at the fundraiser did that!"

"I told you, Nick. This isn't about the fundraiser anymore. This is about me doing whatever the f*** I want with you. And since you gave me such a hard time for so long, I'm collecting interest."

Seth took Nick by the hand, feeling the newly-shorn beauty's arm limp with exhaustion. He dragged him over to the bed, sat him on the edge, and pulled the chair up to face him. Seth went to fill a bowl of water in the bathroom, confident that Nick wasn't going to make any escape attempts. He was fully at his mercy.

Once in the chair, Seth began to rub in the shaving cream, not on Nick's head, but on his face. Nick realized he wasn't even getting to keep his meager facial hair. Seth worked carefully with the razor to avoid cutting him. "I could've done this part myself," Nick spat while Seth was rinsing off the razor, halfway through the shave. "Just shut up and let me enjoy your pretty face, alright?" Seth retorted.

He kept working slowly and gingerly. He was meticulous in ensuring no hair was left behind on Nick's chin. When he finally wiped off the remaining cream and uncovered a soft, hairless jawline, Seth leaned in and kissed Nick vigorously. For a moment, Nick forgot where was was, and how absurd this whole situation was. He forgot how to breathe. He reciprocated the kiss, making out with Seth passionately. He felt Seth's hands caressing his smooth face. It was like nothing before this had even happened, like he had nothing to be upset about. Nick was in a state of bliss. Pulling away, Seth cupped the back of Nick's sandpaper-textured head and pressed down, signaling for Nick to drop to his knees on the floor before him. And Nick, realizing that this may be one of the most pleasurable moments he ever experiences in his entire life, obeyed. He had hooked up with so many girls throughout his time at college, and while he enjoyed all those encounters, none of them were comparable to this.

When he hit the ground, his towel began slipping for the first time since they'd began. It fell down and exposed his hip bones, the trail of abdomen hair leading to his genitals, and the very base of his shaft. He didn't care anymore if Seth saw. If anything, he wanted him to see.

Seth sat on the edge of the bed where Nick had been, turning him around to face him. He worked the shaving cream all over Nick's scalp in circular motions. The feeling was incredibly strange, almost unsettling, but to Nick it also felt borderline euphoric. Seth used his fresh razor to scrape away every last trace of hair from Nick's head, starting at the bottom of his his nape and moving upward and forward. Nick finally let his eyes shut and reveled in the rhythmic scraping sound. Once his entire head was stripped, Seth reapplied the foam for a second pass in the opposite directions. Near the end, he pressed Nick's face against his thigh. Nick felt the tip of Seth's erection through his sweatpants on top of his now-bare head. Nick realized that he was hard as well but couldn't recall how long he'd been that way.

He was almost disappointed when Seth delicately pushed his head away and began wiping it off with a towel. His movements had grown gradually softer throughout the process; the same man who handled him so roughly at the beginning now caressed him with care.

Seth presented a small hand mirror from his bag to Nick. With a trembling hand, he caught sight of himself for the first time. The shock was unreal. He didn't recognize himself. The man in the reflection was bare-headed, with a soft look of submission on his face. He hated how he looked. He wasn't nearly as ugly as he expected, but the difference was simply too large to reconcile with the self-image in his head: still tossing around the auburn lion's mane and stroking his stubbled chin, looking to catch a girl's attention.

Kneeling on the floor, shivering and stripped of his pride and joy, with Seth above him, Nick felt strangely grateful. He hated how he looked bald, at least for now, and he knew he'd be the target of teasing as soon as his residents took a look at him. But he'd just had the most sensational moment of his entire life.

"I know you just showered," Seth said, "but you could do with another one after all that. If you wanna come join me in there, you're welcome." He knew that Nick would accept the offer.

In the shower they made out again. They groped and embraced one another. Nick got back down on his knees to pleasure Seth with his mouth. He had never done so before; he merely tried to imitate all the girls who'd done so for him. Seth's reactions told him he'd done a good job.

Once the two were toweled off and dressed, they saw that their nightly staff meeting was in about 15 minutes. They had no idea how close they were cutting it. Imagine if they missed the meeting and someone came looking for them?

"I'll see you down there", Seth said as he left the room, staring at Nick the whole time. He hoped that arriving to the meeting separately would avoid anyone growing suspicious of just how lose they'd gotten that evening. The new Nick, free of multiple burdens, braced himself to go make his debut to the world.

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