Never say never by Carstairs

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Sunday, August, 25th

“You’ll never make it.” Seth took a sip of his drink. “There is no way in the world.”

“I’m with him,” Kurt agreed.

“I’m serious, guys. I plan to grow my hair out this fall,” I said.

Seth just shook his head. “Let’s look at the facts. You haven’t had enough hair to comb for 3 and a half years. You start complaining about you hair if it’s been three weeks since you cut your hair. You usually have your clippers out ready for action every two weeks on the dot.”

“Beside,” Kurt chimed in, “Do you actually still own a comb?”

I looked at my roommates and best friends. “Those are all good points. But I’m serious about this. I want to grow my hair out again until January.”

“You want to put your money where your mouth is?” Kurt was always up for a bet.

A slow grin grew on my face. “How about our hair?”

Seth looked at me. “What do you mean?”

“Just this, if I grow my hair out, you both join me in my semi-annual head shave.”

Kurt began to look worried. “And what happens if you don’t.”

Seth was the one with the grin this time. “The only hair cut you’re allowed to get is a multi-colored Mohawk.”

“Don’t do that. You know he’ll never get a cut if that’s the deal.” I was inclined to agree with Kurt, but I wasn’t going to say so out load.

“This is Jeff we’re talking about. He’ll have a Mohawk by Thanksgiving.”

“So, is it a deal? I won’t get a hair cut from September 1st until January and you guys shave your heads with me, or I get a Mohawk to your specifications. I’ll even keep it for a week.”

“And we’ll all keep our heads shaved for a month if we loose.” Seth stuck his hand out. I immediately put my hand on top of his. We both turned to look at Kurt.

“I have a very bad feeling about this.”

“Come on, man. It’s just hair. And I want to see Jeff looking stupid.”

“Alright.” He added his hand to ours. “But I’m never going to forgive you if I catch my death of cold this winter.”

I grinned. “Have I ever caught my death of cold from my January head shaves?”

“Don’t confuse me with the facts,” he murmured.

Monday, August 26th

Perhaps I should give you a little background. As I believe I said, Seth and Kurt are my two roommates and my best friends. We’ve been sharing a three bedroom house in Southern California since we graduated from college. Right after graduation, I finally got the guts up and buzzed my hair off. I’ve loved it that way and decided to keep it. I got further inspired and shaved my head a few months later. While I liked it, it was slightly too much upkeep for me to keep year round, so I only shave it a couple times a year. Usually once New Year’s Eve as a symbolic way to start the New Year, and once during the summer heat.

Seth and Kurt just haven’t been interested in trying it. Not that they have long hair themselves. Just a basic man’s cut. Still, they give me an incredibly hard time about keeping my hair so short.

While I enjoy it, I’ve met people who don’t know what I used to look like. And I’d kinda like to grow enough hair to comb. Just to show I can do something different. I fully intend to go back to short hair after this is over. I actually might have kept it until the summer rolled around again, but January will be fine. I just hope I really can hold out that long without even a trim.

Saturday, August 31st

Not wanting to even come close to causing a problem, I decided to get my haircut out of the way first thing, this morning. Even though we have a three bedroom house, we only have one bathroom. I was the first one up this morning, so I headed in there, bringing my clippers along with me. I was very tempted to cut it shorter then normal, but figured that would defeat the purpose of this experiment. So I clipped on the #2 attachment started buzzing. 15 minutes later, I was all done.

I looked at myself in the mirror a long time before cleaning up. I really do like this look. It’ll be nice to get back to it in the spring. But for now, I’m growing it out. Excited, scared, wondering why I committed myself, yet knowing there’s no way I’d ever make it if I hadn’t.

Not that my friends are much help. Kurt walked in just as I was finishing up. “Enjoy it while you can.” And Seth was much the same way. “Last cut for four months. You sure you can take this?” The more they tease me, the more my resolve grows. They’d better like being bald.

Saturday, September 14th

Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t religiously cut my hair every two weeks. Sometimes I’m lazy and let it grow longer. Frankly, it’s not big deal right now, and I think I kinda like the idea of not getting a hair cut. I’ve never been a fan of the clean up time it takes since I do it myself. But paying a barber that often is out of the question.

Still, the first words out of my friends’ mouths this morning had to do with my hair.

“Morning, Shaggy,” Kurt greeted me and he stumbled out of his bedroom. “Any plans for the day?”

“Just relaxing around the place,” I replied.

Seth was right behind him. “Hair’s looking out of control. Sure you don’t want a cut?”

“Very funny guys. My hair is still shorter then yours.”

If only my hair would stop growing. This will get harder before it’s over.

Saturday, September 28th

Now’s when my hair is going to really start bugging me. It tends to be a bit greasy, and cutting it often seems to help. We’re at that stage where it will be greasy every morning no matter what I do. And I guess I should start looking for my comb. It’s got to be around here someplace.

My roommates have been strangely quiet. Wonder why.

Tuesday, October 8th

I broke down and got a comb on the way home from work last night. Tried combing my hair this morning. It barely stayed where I wanted it to be. Guess I was a little premature. Can’t wait until it’s comb-able since it looks so bad right now. Of course, my hair has always had a mind of its own.

Saturday, October 12th

This has not been my week at all. We’re getting another round of Indian summer, and my head is so much hotter then I’m used to. I want to march right into the bathroom with my clippers and end this nightmare. But I really don’t think a Mohawk would become me. And I know Seth and Kurt would never let me get away with anything less.

To add insult to injury, they came back from running errands today with fresh haircuts. And kept going on and on about how nice it felt to have shorter hair and how much cooler they felt. We went down to the pool, and mine took so much longer to dry then I’m used to.

Will I make it another two and a half months?

Saturday, October 19th

Monday, I got out Kurt’s hair gel and made my hair behave. Which was a waste of time since the Santa Anna winds have started. I hate wind. Especially since it tends to mess up my hair. Now, every time I’m outside, I have to re-comb my hair.

There’s nothing like growing your hair out to make you appreciate keeping it short.

Thursday, October 31st

When I got home from work last night, Seth and Kurt were waiting for me.

“We’d like to offer you a way out of your current mess,” Seth stated simply.

“And my mess would be?” Frankly, since they hadn’t said a word since their haircuts, I wasn’t sure what was on their minds.

Kurt smiled. “Your hair. We know you’d love to get a haircut.”

They sure were right about that. But I tried to out guess them. “So, you’re letting me off the hook. No more silly bets?”

“Wrong! But Kurt and I figured that now was the perfect time for you to get that multi-colored Mohawks. You could say it was something you did for Halloween.” Seth reached into a bag and started pulling out various hair dyes. “Shall we begin?”

While I would have raced to get my clippers out and buzz my hair back down, I was not going to give them this satisfaction. “Not on your life. You just wasted your money on that stuff. I will make it another two months.”

Kurt just arranged things on the counter. “But we’ll have this stuff when you change your mind. We know you will.”

We’ll just see about that.

Wednesday, November 27th

It really is amazing what you can get used to. My hair isn’t bothering me all that much any more. I’ve got the wave back in the front of my hair, and combing it doesn’t bother me much any more.

I had to give Seth a hard time, however. “I’ll have a Mohawk by Thanksgiving, huh?”

He just glared at me. I thought he was the one who wasn’t concerned if I made it or not.

Thanksgiving Day

I hadn’t seen any of my family since this whole thing started, so I was the center of attention for a little while today. Everyone commented on my hair in one form or another. My mom, grandma, and aunt all universally said they liked me better this way. Grandpa and Dad both said they thought I looked better short. Of course, my hair is about the same length as theirs now. My brother didn’t say anything at all. When I finally asked him about it, he said he thought either looked fine.

Saturday, December 14th

There is hope in sight! Only two and a half more weeks, but I’m not counting. Ironically, Kurt’s begun to encourage me. When I asked him why, he said, “Because, you’ve almost made your goal. I’d hate for you to give up now.”

“Even if it means you’ll wind up bald?”

“It’s like Seth said. Hair eventually grows out. I’ve pretty much accepted the fact that I will be bald now.”

But it’s Seth who seems to be upset by the idea. “Don’t you want to try a Mohawk?” he asked me earlier in the week.

“Maybe someday. But right now, I want to reach my goal. Prove to everyone I can do it.”

He just left the room in silence.

Tuesday, December 24th

One more week. One more week. If I keep repeating that to myself enough, maybe I can make it. My hair is now just barely touching my collar and it curls on my sideburns and neck. It may not look bad to anyone else, but it’s driving me nuts. A trim would be wonderful, but I can’t give in. I’m sure that my family’s reactions will be the same tomorrow as it was at Thanksgiving. They’ll be disappointed to see me with short hair again next time. I don’t plan to ever let my hair grow back again after this.

Tuesday, December 31st

I love only working a half day. Everyday should be that free. Especially if this is the result.

All three of us had the afternoon off and were hosting a huge party that night. I arrived home from work to find Seth and Kurt waiting for me. The stuff they’d bought for Halloween was sitting out on the counter again.

I didn’t even give them a chance. “Nice try, guys, but you aren’t getting me give in now. Tomorrow your hair is mine.”

“Actually,” Seth said, “we want to talk to you about that. Here’s the deal. As long as we’re loosing our hair tomorrow, we’d like to have some fun. We’ll all three do the multi-colored Mohawk thing tonight, then tomorrow we’ll shave the rest off.”

“And to show we’re serious,” Kurt piped up, “we’ll go first.”

The thought of my two conservative looking friends looking crazy, even if only for one night, was too good to pass up. “So, where do we start?”

Naturally, we started with pictures. Then bleach and wild, random colors. Finally, I brought out my clippers and some butch wax and did a decent if not professional job on the cuts. Then I turned Kurt and Seth loose on my head. Finally, out came the razors. The result was three decent multi-colored Mohawks. The sides were so smooth we could use them as a mirror.

After the final picture of our cuts for the day, we found ourselves looking at our reflection in the mirror. We certainly were a site.

“We are out of our minds,” Seth said.

Kurt nodded his head. “Yep. But if you’re going to be crazy….”

“Best to do it when your boss won’t see it,” I finished for him. We all laughed. “This is rather fun, guys. And I’m thrilled to not have the hair on my ears a day sooner, thanks.”

It’s a good thing that most everything was ready for the party, because this all took us much longer then we had planned. Before we knew it, our guests were arriving. Naturally, we were the brunt of plenty of jokes that night, but I think we were initiating most of them. I kept the stuff handy, half expecting someone to get drunk enough to join us, but I guess there are some things that no amount of alcohol will induce you to do. Which is funny considering the three of us were sober that afternoon. Still, my memories of the party got fainter as the night wore on.

Wednesday, January 1st

My eyes hardly even opened, and already my head was killing me. I hadn’t had that much to drink in a long time. I slowly got out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. I’d completely forgotten what I looked like, and I must admit to letting out a yell when I saw my reflection in the mirror. In the time it took me to remember the events of yesterday, Kurt and Seth came running in to see what was wrong. The image of the three of us brought a good ten minutes of laughter to the room. We concluded that we couldn’t spend the day around the house; this was too good an opportunity to waste making fools out of ourselves. After a few strong cups of coffee, we headed out to the beach.

“You’d think from people’s stares that they’d never seen anyone looking like this before,” Seth observed as we threw the Frisbee around. Now that he was loosing his hair for sure, he certainly seemed to not care again.

“Wait, you mean this isn’t a normal look?” Kurt looked confused.

“We look normal and this is normal,” I stated as I turned and ran laughing into the surf. Contrary to popular culture, the weather and water in Southern California does get cold enough in the winter that swimming is not the first thing on everyone’s mind. I only had my shorts on, but I didn’t hesitate until I had dove under a crashing wave. I turned to shore. “Coming,” I challenged my friends.

They looked at each other like I was nuts, then shrugged their shoulders and followed me. We didn’t spend more then a few minutes in the water, but by the time we got out, the few people nearby were looking at us like we had taken leave of our senses. I’ll admit with our multi-colored hair dripping all over the place, we did look crazy. We considered stopping at a fancy restaurant for dinner on the way home, but chickened out. We still got plenty of weird looks at Quizzno’s, but it wasn’t as big a deal.

Arriving home, my clippers were brought out and we took turns finishing off each other’s hair with clippers and razors. Seth seemed to take a particular pleasure in running the clippers over my head slowly and watching the hair fall.

It felt wonderful to be bald again. I kept flipping my head and grinning when my hair didn’t move. And the three of us had our hands on our heads most of the evening. It felt like my first shave again.

Saturday, February 2nd

No one seemed to say a word about my hair at work; they were too used to it short and shaved to really notice. And Kurt and Seth got lots of positive feedback.

We kinda fell into a routine. We’d enjoyed shaving each other so much that we shaved each other again on Saturday nights. Weekdays the bathroom was a little more crowded as we each shaved our own heads, but Kurt and Seth seems to enjoy it as much as I did.

Yesterday, I was halfway through my shave before I even thought about the fact that our month was up. I could grow my buzz out again. If I wanted to. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure I did. Finally, I decided I’d go along with whatever the other two did for the next month or two.

Tonight, I was a little surprised to return from some errands to find that Kurt and Seth had our shaving stuff all set up.

“Are you guys going to keep shaving?” I asked.

“You were right all along. This no hair stuff is addictive.” Kurt said.

Seth nodded. “We’re kinda thinking about keeping it shaved as long as we’re roommates. What do you say?”

I set my bags down and peeled off my shirt. “So, whose turn it is to shave me tonight?”

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