My BK Adventure by "Barber King"

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Around the Fourth of July, I started going to a local Burger King for occasional meals. It was in a very upscale area of town, with lots of rich kids hanging round.

I kept on going because of something I saw that was almost jaw-dropping to me: a head of long, straight, brown hair on a young assistant manager that was breathtakingly thick and shaggy. I could not recall seeing such an awesome mop on a young man since the 1970’s.

I have noticed many youths in my area had been getting their hair cut shorter lately, usually in response to fears that they would be associated with Justin Bieber; nothing could be more deadly to a teenager trying to look cool.

But this young man clearly could not care less. His hair was a bit like the original Bieber style - but grown out by about an additional three months or so! His skinniness seemed to accentuate the sheer mass of hair on his head.

His bangs hung into his face and were swept over to the side (with no apparent side part, of course – a dreadful thing to ask for a youth of today). The bangs would certainly dangle to his nose if left to themselves.

The sides were almost down to his jaw line. His ears appeared to be quite large, as far as I could tell, and perhaps he was a bit ashamed of that, but still, that was no excuse for such a hair helmet.

He wore a shirt and tightly knotted tie every day, which made the hair in back even more dramatic. His shirt collar in back was completely covered with hair. It was always well-combed, never curly or wavy, but fell straight over his neck in back, almost to his collarbone. I suspected he loved his hair this way. Hair like that doesn’t just happen.

As time went on I expected to walk in one day and see him with a fresh haircut, and I wondered what it would look like. From the thickness of his hair I thought he probably had his mother just trim the edges now and then. No barber, or even hair stylist, to my knowledge, ever would leave a finished haircut looking so thick and moppish. It screamed “home haircut.”

But July became August, and August turned to September. I fully expected that he would certainly get a back-to-school haircut in early September, but no. I was perplexed, and his hair grew longer and more amazing.

Then came October – still no haircut, not even a trim. By now his hair was starting to look quite messy. He clearly had the longest hair of any male in that Burger King. How was he getting away with it? Perhaps his parents owned the place? I decided I’d had enough. It had been three months now, and his hair was already long when I first saw it in July.

I found a way to contact Burger King by email and leave a comment about their service. I wrote that one of their employees, “Colin,” was polite and efficient – but that his hair was “very, very shaggy and long.” It did not seem to me to reflect the kind of “neat and clean-cut” appearance that a Burger King strives for. I suggested strongly that “Colin” should get a “short and businesslike” haircut.

Of course I had every reason to think that they would completely ignore me and my opinion. They sent back an email reply – more or less a form letter – thanking me for my remarks. Would that be the end of it?


Several days later, I went to Burger King again, and – surprise! – there was “Colin,” sporting a brand new haircut. His hair was shorter than I’d ever seen it! Was it a coincidence? Did he just happen to decide to get a shorter-than-ever haircut for the first time in possibly six months, just as my comment made its way to Burger King, or did my email make a difference? What do YOU think?

First let me say that his hair was still long by this board’s standards, certainly. Unfortunately there was still plenty of hair over his ears and no apparent side part, as I would have preferred. And his hair was not tapered in the least, also as I would have required.

But the bangs were snipped short, above the eyebrows, and there would be no more tossing of long locks there. The very long hair on the sides that he liked to toss in front of his face – you know the type - were also gone.

What seemed most noticeable was the hair in back. It had been chopped bluntly and sharply at the neck and well above the shirt collar. All that hair that fell over his collar was long gone, and you could even see a little neck now. It must have been hard for the young man to hear the snip snip snip of the scissors in back, his head held firmly down, as his mane was quite obviously cut to meet distinct instructions of “above the collar.”

I can’t deny feeling a little sorry for him. This was a big change for him. I wanted to ask him what happened to his cool hair, or where did he get his hair cut, but the opportunity has not yet presented itself.

This was no home haircut, but, on the down side, his hair was still quite thick. It was as though he told his barber to just trim up the edges. And, as I said, although it was shorter on the sides, most of the ears were still covered. It was sort of Beatles circa 1965.

A regulation short back and sides, tightly tapered, parted, and Brylcreemed, was what I had hoped for. Or perhaps he would even decide at the last moment, as he was being caped up, that since he had to get it cut for work anyway, why not go for a buzzcut, like most of his classmates were getting these days? But he frankly did not seem like the type. The electric clippers likely never touched this mop – at least for now. The bond between this one and his hair was too strong.

Perhaps, in a few more months, I will write BK again, and next time be a bit more specific…? What do YOU think?

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