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...Sunday night... by seamus


We were 3 blocks away before we stopped a brisk forced march to South St. At that point Rob stopped and said I am a fool and humiliated for it. I started to speak but was stopped as he continued, saying he was a fool to allow his private feelings to go public, and humiliated with a forced haircut. I replied," Well, for me you were brave not foolish and personally I am glad because I have gotten to met you and know what love at first sight is all about" I stopped, again shocking myself at my unabashed revelation to both Rob and myself. "Don't mock me, I am too broken to take more degradation right now, Seamus". Hey you! I yelled as I grabbed his arm and pulled him toward me. I kissed him hard on the lips but instantly melted into a soft light touch as I withdrew, while staring at him before turning away. Now I felt the fool and reddened at the thought of fully exposing myself to him. We stood on the corner like two statues as busses and taxis and container trucks wizzed by. We both knew how the other felt.
Let's go get supper, I suggested. There are great places to eat over here, maybe we'll feel better. After what seemed an anti New York minute, he finally moved saying, ok there is a good sit down deli right down here. I was relieved. He was calm and quiet. I could find an opening. I am sorry for being so foward. I am not really like that. He was half listening, but look up at me from the menu, "No, you are the only good thing to happen to me this week. "Thanks, make me a keeper? " He looked at me, I smiled and he returned it. I sighed. Easier to get through this as a team! I affirmed, while fearing I was too foward again. "OK kid we are buds, you got my back and you don't hold back. That alone deserves a go. One day at a time and we will see what happens." I could see I must earn every step foward on his part. "Thanks, Rob", No he replied, it's Bob, plain ol' Bob. You may be many things, plain? nahhh, I retorted. He smiled. You are an ego boost anyway, he laughed. Score one point for me, I thought.
We ordered and ate, taking and filling in each others histories. Seems he had a "day job' in an accounting firm, was divorced after a short marriage and considered himself bi. Score a save for him on pushing me back a step in the nicest way. We seemed to enjoy each others company so, I said " Anything you want to do, I'm up for a night if you are." He said, no he was more for an early night. I was crushed, but realized I was on the 'coaster when he said, why not come over and relax. I did, he did, I was trying to hold back from freefall, in fear of a hard landing. There was none, he said it's late let's go to bed, you can go to school from here in the morning, OK? Ok!, I was screaming in my head YES!. All was well, but when I touched his hair in bed he turned away. I'm sorry. I didn't mean.... No, he shot back, you just reminded me I'm bald. You're not bald! I retorted. Look, we talked about everything but. We know each other more than most anyone can in one day. We can go slow on this, but let me say, It is a big change, but not half bad. When I saw him buzzig you down, I was sick and excited at the same time. The way you dress contrasted with the hair cut..... well it sort of turned me on a little....undefinable masculinity. " Butch the butchered", he seighed. He was dejected again. Stop!, I feigned anger. Sit up and next to me. He scrunched over in the bed and I slowly and lighted touched and then caressed his head of stubble. I was heaven bound and then touched his still erect waxed little bumper. I kissed it and a couple of tears fell on his forehead. "What the .... are you crying?" Sorry. I know the cut upset you and I feel the pain. I held him and he me. We woke the next morning still holding. We both rushed around his apt bumping into each other in bathroom and bedroom several times, laughing as we did. Both of us left the building together. He to work, me to school. His parting with, "See you tonight? Dinner at Leo's on 64th at 6?" "I'll see you there!" I smiled and we both waved. So this was what heaven on eath felt like.




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