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Hit and Run by burrlypup


Kyle had just finished a 2 hour super set at his health club, and picked up his parents BMW from the detailer, and thought to himself, ‘Man, I've done so much today. I should get my highlights redone,” as he stared at his reflection in his rear view mirror, he pulled his hair to its full length, a full 3 inches past his chin. He captivated himself, such a stud, he smirked and only taking his eyes off his reflection upon hearing a THUD! and crash. He slightly slowed down, checked his passenger side mirror and noticed he had hit a bicyclist.

"Damnit… he better not have scratched my car!” He shouted, stopping and getting out to appraise the damage. The bicyclist lay in the street, motionless, yet Kyle could only think of his dented BMW.

"Hope you learned your lesson! Stay off the road!” Kyle shouted and hopped back into his ride, blasting to AC to help cool him down as he headed to his salon.

He parked, taking up 2 spaces so no more damage could be added to his already dented vehicle. Audrey, his regular stylist, called him up and began by washing out his heavily gelled red locks, and then gently towel drying them since he often moaned about having sensitive skin when being blow dried. Just as Audrey wrapped his head with a towel, the manager called her over and she left crying.

The manager, Jim, stepped over to the station with Kyle and stated he would finish, explaining that Audrey had a family emergency.

"Yeah, people with personal problems really shouldn't be working. Anyhow, Audrey knows how I like my highlights. Not chunky, very natural looking. My hair is my thing, so just make it look good.”

"Will do, now how light do you want to go?” Jim asked.

"Platinum blond.” Kyle stated, pointing to his forelock.

"That's quite a contrast from your natural haircolor.”

"Funny, did I ask for your opinion?” Kyle stared blankly.

"Platinum highlights coming up.” Jim smiled, turned and rolled his eyes.

Kyle plugged into his bluetooth and starting talking with his ‘bros' and as Jim began strategically painting on a lowlight, followed by the platinum highlight mixture.

"Yeah, dude totally was taking up like the right side of the road, so I knocked his ass off the road. Bicyclists don't pay roadtax, get the hell off, right!?” Kyle laughed, not noticing Jim's expression turn from dutiful to disgust. He listened in on the next few statements, then excused himself. He returned 10 minutes later.

Jim took out the foil and began rinsing out the chemicals.

Kyle purred but then asked, "Usually takes an hour bud, not that I'm complaining. Your hands are softer than Audreys', she likes to dig in.”

"You want it to look natural, right? Let me treat you to a double coat.”

"Finally you guys are getting me. Customer is always right!” Jim rolled his eyes and hoped his plan would turn out right. He went to the backroom and pulled out a can of Magic Shave and worked it into a paste similar to the highlight paste. He took a deep breath, pressed record on his voice recorder, and went to work.

Jim started on the crown, working in a circular pattern until Kyle's scalp was soaked in the Magic Shave, the rest of his shoulder length hair piled on top.

‘10 minutes', Jim thought to himself. He began probing Kyle for the recorder.

"Sorry to eavesdrop, but just wanted to say I can't stand bicyclists either.” Kyle took the bait.

"You have no idea! I was texting my buds and this bike got in my way, so I thought… let him go? Nah! I ran his sorry butt over.” Kyle continued, unaware he was being recorded, or that that police were outside examining the dents and blood on his bumper.

"So your hair is your thing, eh?” Jim asked.

"Yup, babes love the mane. I'm actually growing it out until it reaches my butt.”

"I bet you are. I really do.” Jim laughed.

About 10 minutes pass and Jim is apprehensive about removing the ‘treatment'. He takes a comb and a clump falls off, so he wraps Kyle's whole head with a wet towel to keep it from dripping.

"Whose BMW out front?” A policeman asks, followed by another officer.

"That would be mine.” Kyle shouts.

"You'll need to come down for questioning regarding a hit and run this afternoon.”

Kyle turned red and began explaining that the bicyclist cut him off and that he was the victim, that his car incurred dents due to the collision.

"The man you hit is fighting for his life. Once you're finished here, you're getting hauled down to the police station.” The officer said, as Jim was more than done with this client.

"All done!” Jim snatched off the towel, and with it, all of Kyle's shoulder length red hair.

Kyle stared wide at his completely bald reflection.

"What?!?” Kyle stammered, feeling his soft virgin scalp for the first time ever.

"I was a little confused as to why he'd want to lose all that pretty hair, said he needed a makeover. Guess I know why now, eh?” Jim explained to the officers, barely holding back their laughter. Kyle looked ridiculous with his pointy bald head, ears prominently sticking out. Jim took another wet towel and buffed Kyles' head until it shined, before applying a clear lotion to keep it smooth for a long time.

"Better get used to it, because it's permanent." Jim taunted Kyle, rubbing the smooth skin as he made eye contact in the mirror.

The officers detained Kyle, distraught from losing his trademark mane, didn't even notice his parents BMW being towed or the bystanders mocking his pasty bald appearance. The first night in jail, Kyle rubbed his bald head incessantly, but felt nothing. Not a trace of stubble. The same the following day, and the next, and so on through his trial, and eventual sentencing.

3 years later, Kyle was released from his jail sentence, and long disowned by his parents, lives in a halfway house and works at a gas station, that he must ride a bike to everyday. Yet, the only concern of his was the loss of his awesome flaming red locks. His hair never returned, and yet he longed for the day when even a single strand of his former glory would regrow.





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