Most Unusual by Dave

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Let me state right here and now that I am a ‘heavy sleeper.’ I think one could tear down the house around me and I wouldn’t be aware of it. I find I can go on a little sleep but when I sleep, I really sleep.

The mystery began about a week ago. I got up one morning and while shaving, I noticed that I needed to get a haircut. Of course, as usual, I got to doing things (there is always something to do around the farm) and didn’t follow through with the haircut. Now here is the strange part. The next morning, while shaving, I noticed that I needed a haircut, but there was something about my hair that told me it was different. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something inside told me it was different.

Now let me state here that I never have my hair long. When it gets long enough to begin hanging over my ears, I just comb it back and let it go. I got up the following morning and sure enough, I had that strange feeling again that there was something different about my hair, but still couldn’t put my finger on it as the saying goes.

During the spring, there are so many things to do around the farm that I don ’t have time to sit around and think about my hair! To me hair isn’t anything to dwell on since I looked upon it as something that is there and needs to be cut from time to time, according to the hairstyles of the day.

As I was working one day, I was surprised by a visit of my best friend, Jeff. Jeff and I go back to grade school. We both grew up on a farm so farming wasn’t anything new to Jeff. He and I put in a lot of acreage of crops so we usually help each other out when it comes to preparing our fields for planting. Jeff and I were talking about when the soil would be ready for plowing, etc.

All of a sudden Jeff said, “Tom! You look like you need a haircut. How about us two going and get out usual spring haircut?” I smiled and said, “I can’t do it right now. I have too much work to do.” Of course I did have a lot of work to do and with spring comes calves, piglets, etc. and I need to be here for anything that might need my attention. So a haircut was out of the question at this time.

Well! As the days progressed, I didn’t take time out for a haircut, but I thought my hair was beginning to look shorter. One morning I got up and before going to the bathroom, I looked at my pillow and didn’t see any signs of hair loss, but when I looked in the mirror, I could definitely notice that my hair was indeed shorter. Strange!

I was determined to find out how this was happening and just how short the hair was going to be cut. I tried staying awake later in the evening and I found it was catching up with me. One morning I found myself waking up and I was still in my recliner in the living room and the TV was still on. Usually this time of the morning I am having breakfast and listening to the news on TV. I didn’t think a thing about my hair since the news was on and there was this interesting story coming to us from out of the far east. I did manage to get my breakfast together during the commercial and sat down and listened & watched as I ate breakfast.

Just as I was finishing up, Jeff stopped by and said he thought the fields were ready for plowing. We set a date and time when we would begin plowing, providing the weather was right. I had noticed that Jeff had gone to see our barber, Trent. He had his usual spring cut, a crewcut. He and I always got the crewcut. I did mention it to him and he said, “You need to do something with that hair of yours. It’s time to see Trent.” I laughed and said, “Soon!” I did show Jeff the two new calves that were born the day before along with the piglets that arrived late yesterday afternoon. I have always thought the piglets were so cute.

That night, I fell asleep in my lounger again and when I woke up the next morning, I found myself staring in the mirror at my short buzzcut. I went back to the living room to find the hair on the floor, but not a trace could be found. ‘What is going on here?’ I thought. How was the person getting in? Who was it? No one has keys to my home. I couldn’t figure out who might have done this. The only one I could think who could have done it is Jeff. After all he said I needed to get my haircut.

During the day, I was enjoying the short haircut. It is shorter than I have every worn it. I found myself thinking about the mystery all day long while I worked. That evening, I made it a point to remain awake, but as usual, I fell asleep in my easy chair and the next morning I got up, I felt my head. I guess I expected to find my hair cut shorter. Much to my surprise, I couldn’t tell any difference. I did look in the mirror and didn’t notice anything different. One evening I thought the hair cutting was finished, so I went to bed at my usual time and had a great nights sleep.

About a week later, I got up and got ready for work and found that I no longer felt or looked at my hair. Jeff arrived on the scene and said, “Well! Tom! I see you finally got to visit Trent. It sure does look great. Isn’t it a little shorter than you usually have it cut?” I knew Jeff was here to help me with the plowing. We would spend the entire day plowing my fields and come tomorrow I would be at his farm returning the favor. By the time we got Jeff’s fields plowed, it would be time for us to come back here and finish the fields so they are ready for planting. As you can imagine, this next week will be most hectic. Plowing and planting will take up most of the week. If you don’t know, farmers don’t have weekends off. We work 7 days a week. Once the crops are in, we are back to our regular routine until it is time to get in the first crop of hay - have to stock up food for the animals during the winter months.

One evening after all the planting was done, I found myself really tired but wanted to watch the football game on TV. Again I woke up and the TV was still on, but the game was over and it was time to get up and have breakfast and get to the chores. I was about halfway through my chores for the morning when I reached up to scratch my head. I couldn’t believe the feeling. My head felt like rough sandpaper. I happen to have a mirror hanging in the barn so I took a look. My mouth dropped open when I saw that most of my hair was gone. I rushed back to the house and looked on the floor around where I slept and there wasn’t a trace of my hair. I checked the waste baskets and the garbage containers and not a trace of my hair. I must admit the new hairstyle sure did feel good, strange but good.

The following evening, I found myself extra tired and fell asleep in my easy chair. I find I can get a good night’s rest in that chair. It sort of ‘hugs’ you and it is easy to fall asleep. The next morning, I stretched and began to rub my head. Suddenly I jumped up out of the chair and went to the bathroom. Could it be what I was feeling? I almost fainted when I looked in the mirror. There, standing in front of the mirror was a stranger. I reached up and felt my head and made sure what I was seeing was me. There I stood with a super shine on my bald head. Man! I couldn’t get over it. Then I noticed that my huge mustache was missing as well. I found myself saying, ‘Man! This is quite a change. It is going to take some getting used to, but I love what I see. I want to know how and better yet, who is responsible for this transformation.’

I didn’t even take time to eat breakfast since I spent so much time in front of the mirror that morning. I found that my work outside didn’t progress as fast as usual since I found myself rubbing my bald head. As I was checking out the piglets and their mother, Jeff appeared. “Man! Now that one fine haircut there, Tom. When did you visit Trent and how did happen to get your head shaved? I think you look awesome with your head shaved. Oh! Now I notice that you decided to give up that ‘strainer’ also. You look so much younger with the new ‘look!’”

I smiled and said, “I didn’t go to Trent. These haircuts I have been receiving, have taken place in my living room while sleeping. I don’t know who is responsible but I must tell you, I really like this baldy!” I then said, “What brings you here this time of the morning?” “I came to see if you wanted to go in town and get a haircut, but I see you don’t need the services of Trent.” “I’ll go with you. I do need some things from town.”

So off to town we went. I found that as we rode along, I was feeling my head and I could feel some rough spots on my head. I thought I would have Trent smooth me up while in his shop! As we entered Trent’s Barbershop, Trent looked up from his morning paper and said, “WOW! Tom, that is one cool haircut. What can I do for your gentlemen today?” I spoke up and said, “I have some rough spots that need smoothing out! Do you think you can get me to be completely smooth?” Trent motioned me to have a seat and before I knew it, my head was covered with a thick layer of hot lather. Before I knew it, Trent was using his new Mach III razor on me. It sure did feel great. I didn’t believe it when Trent covered my head again with the hot lather and shaved me in the opposite direction. Before I got up from the chair, Trent had me shining like you wouldn’t believe. I mean I glowed. When I saw the shine, I knew I had found my hairstyle. I thought, ‘I don’t know who is responsible for this, but I sure would like to thank him/her. This is fantastic.’ Just then, Trent said, “Who gave you the original baldy?” I told Trent the story behind the hairstyle change. Trent said, “I ’m glad someone got you out of your standard fare!” I did notice that Jeff was deep into the article he was reading in the magazine so I knew he hadn’t heard a word that Trent and I have said.

Just as I got up and walked closer to the mirror, Jeff sat down. “And what are we going to have done today?” asked Trent. Before Jeff could say anything, I said, “How about a cut like mine? I’m sure you are going to enjoy it!” Jeff grinned and that was all that Trent had to see. Before long, Jeff was rubbing his head as he got up from the chair and smiling. “This is awesome! Man! I sure do like this haircut. I think I am going to be stuck with it since I can’t see any circumstance where I will get any other cut. Man! What a feeling!”

Well! Spring rolled into summer and the crops were doing well as were the new animals. I am eating fresh vegetables from the garden and still enjoying my head shave….well that isn’t really true. I am enjoying my baldy much more now that I have a great tan on it.

Jeff arrived to help me with haying and during our workday, Jeff asked me how I came to go bald. I told him the story and I watched his face and I could tell from the expression, that he wasn’t the one who had cut my hair shorter and shorter. I asked Jeff is he was going to keep his baldy and he surprised me when he said, “I won’t have anything else. I can’t wait until this winter so I can see how it feels in the colder weather. How about you?” I told Jeff I was sold on the baldy and was planning on keeping it.

The following morning, I was awakened by the alarm. I suddenly woke up and was startled. There I was in the bathroom with a sink of hot water and was shaving my head. I couldn’t believe it. After finished shaving, I found myself looking for the pair of clippers I had stashed away. I then remembered where they were and remembered that I had received them as a gift. I had never used them. Even the cord was still wrapped up as it came from the factory. I found the clippers and looked in the box. There staring me in the face were all of the goodies. The chord was not in its original package. I did notice some hair on the clippers. I checked the hair very carefully and discovered it was mine. Unknown to me, I had gotten up in my sleep and gave myself these haircuts. I told you that I sleep very soundly but I didn’t realize that I also got up during my sleep and did things like this.

So the mystery was solved. I am sure glad that I found the answer to my question, Who! I tried to think back to when I might have had the baldy in mind and can’t for the life of me tell when or if such an idea had ever entered my mind. I couldn’t wait to tell Jeff. He and I are scheduled to help out a neighbor of ours with his haying today, as he has been off his ‘feed’ so to speak, so I will have a chance to tell Jeff today. I bet he will get a ‘big kick’ out of this. I must say I haven’t been as comfortable during the summer as I have been this summer. Oh! Yes! From time to time, Jeff and I will stop by Trent’s and have him give us a good head shave. There is something about having someone else shave your head that is most rewarding.

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